I've had those liturgies you speak of--where you spend more time out of the nave than in--and I only have one daughter! I've spent almost an entire liturgy out of the actual building because she and I were going round and round (bad day). Wife and I switch Sundays watching Hope, so perhaps you could suggest this to dh.
Question...if there IS a dh, why are you a "single mom"?
Try to remember, regardless, that not only is it important for your kids to see you go there, but also for them to be in there...are there some of your kids who stay up there while you're downstairs? Also, and most of all, remember that when you became a parent, you (perhaps unwittingly!) signed a contract with God that said that you would, for all intents and purposes, forego full and undivided attention in worship services for a good long while. Your ministry, your worship, and your prayer is all in your kids right now. This probably doesn't make it any easier, but it's what my wife and I keep telling ourselves.
Prayers for you...