So I ask, What makes an Orthodox Christian orthodox? What version of the Bible should I read? What should I expect when I undertake this lifestyle?
Unlike many forms of Christianity, Orthodoxy is a practical faith -- meaning that "knowing" it and "understanding" it are less about intellectual knowledge and more about participatory "knowledge." What makes an Orthodox Christian Orthodox vs. orthodox is participating in Christlike Love. This may seem like a vague statement, but Orthodoxy has rich theology that is plenty intellectual - but its all meaningless unless it is lived out in the Church -- it is a practice -- a way of living that is focused on transformation of the human person.
That should make the next two questions you've asked a bit beside the point...kinda like asking which books one much read to learn to ride a bike or love their husband or wife. Those things are only supplements to the real thing. One must inquire at an Orthodox Church and ask to be part of some kind of catechetical training. Some churches are good at this, some are very, very bad. If they don't seem to have a good program - ask for one or find another Orthodox Church to cut your teeth at.
What one should expect is a great deal of challenge (both intellectually and spiritually - perhaps even psychologically) and the process you will go through is as unique to everyone and their spiritual guide as a relationship between a doctor and a patient.
I'm sure others can offer more concrete answers, but I think it is best not to "poison the well" with expectations that may or may not be relevant to your needs, your parishes's character, and the approach of the clergy in your area.
As a last note, what one might expect can vary from Orthodox jurisdiction to jurisdiction - the faith will be the same - but some jurisdictions are more rigorous than others. If you want to ease yourself into Orthodoxy, one might consider approaching one type of jurisdiction. If one is looking for strict and rigorous spiritual training, one might approach another.
All of the above would require more specific information about your location, demographics, strengths, weaknesses, etc. If you want, you may PM me and I can offer some insights based on more specific information.
God bless you on your journey,