This is more of a rant than an actual topic, but I have been feeling this for quite some time now.
I miss the fellowship I used to have: the gatherings, Scriptural studies, friends meeting together just to discuss whats been going on in their spiritual walk, their love of the One Who Is, the topics of our intercessory prayerlife, the love of the saints, the coffee chats after Divine Liturgy on what we just underwent in the Gospel readings, just good friends in general.
I moved from one state to another in order to better my family because the costs where we were living skyrocketed and economically my family would be in more debt than what I could support. So we moved to another state where we knew there was an Orthodox comunity, but it has proven to be a close facsimile of what we originally had. the parishioners, though loving, are not as involved in their spiritual life as where we left and has really lagged in their studies. The Father of the parish is older and tired and so we only have one bible study a month. The parishioners who support the Church allow Protestant heresy to flourish and there is little discussion on any spiritual level.
I have been called to Holy Orders and I am spiritually dying inside, seeking out something that is either foreign to this parish(which is the closest one to me short of driving 2 hours to the next one, one way) or may never had existed outside of the Divine Liturgy itself. I love the people and they have been nice, but I face a sad state of spiritual crisis. I can feel myself slipping more and more into semantics than spiritual practice here. When I attempt to discuss any of this with the Father, he is either too busy and reschedules our time together(which in turn gets rescheduled again(I have been waiting since I moved here in February)) or he is tired, and ready to retire.
Again, I miss being surrounded by a great multitude of Orthodox brethren. I have even been tempted to find solace in the RC Church just for companionship on similar understandings, though I find their Western Doctrinal Teachings and Rites in contempt.
I moved to the Eastern portion of the Midwest from the West Coast. Is this typical for the Midwest Parishes and if so am I in for a long haul of disappointment and testing?