Well, I'm sorry if I seem misguided to you. I want to go to a monastery that is nothing like a mall, a city church, or a log cabin. Certain physical elements really puts the soul in a certain spiritual mood. Sure, we can be spiritual all places, but its just more easier and condusive (for me) to be in a traditional place. I love Holy Trinity- then again I went on the feast day so it was busy and as such I couldn't really enjoy it as much. My goal is to relax, to deepen my spiritual life, to search out for a potential spiritual father, "to forget the worldly cares" which so many times eats away at us. And there's nothing wrong with wanting easthetic experience combined with spirituality- this is Orthodoxy remember- not Vatican II catholicism of making everything as plain and as drab as ever. Theres nothing wrong with using color, texture, and shape to "lift up our hearts."
1) Going to a monastery on its feast day is NOTHING like going during the week and actually spending some time with the monks/the abbot, entering into the cycle of prayer, etc. etc. That holds true for any monastery in any country of any spiritual quality with any degree of wealth.
2) Have you ever spent time at any monastery (i.e. more than 2 days at once)? Actually doing so is a very different experience than visiting for a day or two. The longer you stay, the more important things such as the schedule of services, the opportunities for free time/assisting in chores, the availability of the abbot/monks and the other pilgrims become. THESE are the most important influences on the quality of your stay. If you enjoy and want to have isolation and EXTENDED time for silence, reading and reflection, then you will be just fine at a monastery that is not very friendly. You can just "do your thing" and the monks will do theirs. Unless you are used to such things, this can be dangerous because you will get lonely and dejected after a few days. However, if you also want interaction and spiritual conversation, then you should probably go to a monastery where (a) the monks are friendly and (b) the pilgrims are balanced and accessible (this is a major issue at monasteries, since, in many cases, your most consistent interaction will be with other pilgrims, whose number, quality and style can vary greatly from monastery to monastery). If, on the other hand, you want to really enter into the fullness of the monastic life, to get a taste of what it is like to LIVE in a monastery, with all its spiritual richness and difficulties, then you should go to a monastery that is spiritually grounded, friendly AND provides you the opportunity to do work along with the monks (gardening, clean up, kitchen duty, participation in the nightly vigils...).
3) The only way to know about this kind of INNER life of the monastery is to experience it or hear from someone else who has. That's what I'm trying to tell you about Holy Trinity. The monks there are willing and able to let you have ANY of those experiences. If you want isolation, you can have it. If you want to interact with the community, even to the point of helping the monks, you can as well. In times where there are not hordes of pilgrims, they are very welcoming and also very flexible.
Now, I have made all these kinds of pilgrimages to many different monasteries and I've been to built-up, expensively adorned monasteries that fall into the first "unfriendly" category, simply because they are so large, with so many pilgrims on a day-to-day basis (not just feast days!), that there is not enough time for interaction. In other cases, certain monasteries have a rule from their abbot that the monks should stay as isolated from the pilgrims as possible (thus, as a pilgrim, you spend all your free time sitting in a "beautiful" room, trying to read or pray, while the other pilgrims talk, the kids scream, etc.). I've even been to some monasteries where the lay visitors were extremely restricted in their freedom of movement (they could only go to the Church at designated times and, otherwise, they had to stay in the guest house).
Get the idea? These kinds of things are much more important than the impression you have of the buildings.