St. Zlata of Maglen was a pious Orthodox Christian maiden who was martyred by the Turks for refusing to convert to Islam and marry one Muslim Turk who kidnapped her. While she was in prison, her parents urged her to become Muslim and give up her faith in Christ so that she wouldn't be martyred. St. Zlata replied. "When you counsel me to deny Christ the true God, you are no longer my parents or my sisters. I have the Lord Jesus Christ as my father, the Theotokos as my mother, and the saints as my brothers and sisters."http://full-of-grace-and-truth.blogspot.com/2009/10/st-zlata-chryse-great-martyr-of-meglin.html
Im in no position to give spiritual advice, but I think it would be wrong to "fantasize about a reward in Heaven". This can be delusion and is linked to pride, which is a great sin. It is written, "Blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you for great is your reward in heaven" we must be careful not think that we are so HOLY that we will surely enter into the kingdom of heaven, the place of pure holiness. We shouldn't meditate solely on our holiness or else it will become pride, but we should think of our sinfulness and need for repentance to God. One of the best thing to do is to think of how your persecutors might be more pious than you are in some or many ways and to of course pray for them as well as yourself calling yourself the "chief of sinners in desperate need of God's mercy". I know exactly what your going through but, I think we can both agree that what Sts. Christina and Zlata had to go through were a lot more tougher and praiseworthy than what we go through. Im also an Orthodox adolescent struggling.