I am "lucky" in that my hub (almost) never goes to church, so if I need or want to I can leave the boys home. But recently I've started taking both boys by myself with the girls. My older ones frequently sit in the church with their nounas while i sit in the cry room or the toy room with my twins. Luckily my church has a..what, intercom speaker system thing that can pipe the service into any room in the church, so I can still hear it. But the one boy, as soon as he gets into church "HI FATHER NICK!!!" at the top of his lungs over an over...and they don't last 5 minutes in the main church area, before I have to take them to the cry room. So I pretty much never go in after we light candles, its straight to the cry room. Yesterday I had to leave the Agape service though. The boys were so awful and I couldn't control them anymore, and I felt ready to cry so I just took everyone home. So they missed the egg hunt.
DH needs to step up, imo. I know you know what I am talking about...just remind him that they are his kids too. Give him # 1-4 or something, can you divide them up? He's a guy, he should be pretty much wash and wear, lol! I'll come poke him for you if you like, sometimes they need that.
I like the at home prayer corner thing...maybe if you integrate it into your homeschooling time, it can be a good way to teach then how to act in church? I may have to try that.
It'll be ok. They will grow up, then the olders can help take care of the youngers and you can get more time to connect. But I think you need to try to get some "you" time NOW, whether it be to go to a service here and there on your own, or to get to a room with a book. We all need that, especially when there are so many people that need doing for. (((hugs))))