Do you consider all sex outside marriage to be casual?
Yes. No sex outside of marriage has a real purpose.
This is the updated version of my article:
In an age of instant gratification, reason is subordinate to pleasure. Like an empire before a fall, we’ve forgotten the moral principles that maintain balance and order. Modern culture is killing itself, with casual sex among the worst of problems.
As an Orthodox Christian, I believe that the human being is created as one half of a whole. The complimentary nature of male and female is for both to combine, not just sexually but psychologically and spiritually. Marriage is the only institution where such a holistic union is possible.
Common sense should tell us that sexual abstinence until marriage is the most rational option. Condoms don’t protect against America’s most common STD, Human Papillomavirus, the leading cause of cervical cancer.
The FDA assures that when used correctly, condoms prevent pregnancy 97 percent of the time. But the failure rate increases to 14 percent in typical use.
Planned Parenthood’s research body, the Guttmacher Institute, found that in 2001, 54 percent of women having abortions used birth control the month they became pregnant.
Regardless of political persuasion, it’s normal to recognize the tragedy in abortion. The Guttmacher Institute reports that 90 percent of abortions are unrelated to rape, incest or medical necessity. This amounts to millions of unborn children sacrificed to our cultural will to pleasure.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not an asexual prude. The pleasure of sex is a beautiful gift, enhancing the bond of husband and wife while making procreation enjoyable. But removing sex from its intended context, merely for the sake of feeling good, is like gorging oneself with food merely for its taste.
Something I’ve discovered in abstinence is that dating and courtship actually become more fun. Instead of worrying over how quickly one can “get laid,” and the risks that may entail, I’m now able to concentrate on what really matters. In reciprocating mutual respect, one is better able to learn about the opposite sex in a healthy way.
Don’t you miss “puppy love,” where couples could innocently hug, kiss and share romance without needing premarital sex in the equation? It’s still possible if you’re willing to try.
In not fixating on sex, your standards will be raised, giving you the patience to find someone who’s compatible with your personality. Once you find the right person, you’ll feel glad that you waited for someone you love and are loved by in return.
The National Marriage Project of Rutgers University observes that more couples are living together, instead of marrying, than ever before. I’m reminded of the timeless question: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? But the free milk is sour, distasteful to the laws of God and human reason.