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Author Topic: 25th of March Program  (Read 2201 times) Average Rating: 0
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aurelia
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« on: March 16, 2006, 08:47:17 AM »

I thought I'd put this here because to me it relates more to being a convert than faith issues.

25th of March...Anunnciation (also my daughter's birthday!)...also Greek Independence Day.  This year my kids are in Greek School, and every year for this day they do a program of dancing and poems and such, in Greek costume, and they do the wreath laying at the statue in town.  The teacher is also my one kid's Godmother. Here's my dilema.  I signed them up to be in the program.  BUT we are not Greek (not even a drop) and my hub is xenophobic and he also is very nationalistic.  I had enough problems getting him to let me take them to greek school.  I think if my kids go dress up and participate he will go off the deep end, and honestly I am having second thoughts myself.  I'm all for cultural sharing, but well, I dunno how to put it.  It isn't the dancing or the costumes or anything I think it is more the Independence day aspect of it.  He wouldn't have any problems with them dressing up as little German barmaids, or Irish step dancers, or in Scottish kilts with bagpipes, or even Native American garb. But he has a huge problem with the Greek thing.  

I'm trying to think of it in terms of other people celebrate 4th of July, or Cinquo de Mayo or whatever else.  I can sit back and rationally think that it isnt any big deal, but then on the other hand...plus the family issues too.

I don't know what I am looking for here, maybe just an ouside perspective?
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« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2006, 09:14:18 AM »

If having your kids march in the Independence Day parade is going to strain your marriage, then pull them out - I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit arrogant from someone who is neither married nor has a family, but it seems to me that this is not one of those sticking points for the marriage... who knows, maybe he will soften a bit as he ages, and they can do it in the future.
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« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2006, 11:09:15 AM »

He wouldn't have any problems with them dressing up as little German barmaids, or Irish step dancers, or in Scottish kilts with bagpipes, or even Native American garb. But he has a huge problem with the Greek thing. ÂÂ

It's not really about the GREEK thing. It is his way of lashing out at you.

Tell him they are YOUR children too and if you choose to let them participate then that is what they will do.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2006, 11:10:13 AM by TomS » Logged
aserb
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« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2006, 12:37:44 PM »

Aurelia:

You sound like a decent and loving mother, but I still say there is a problem somewhere in your marriage. I know this is a tough thing to hear. It's not about the "Greek Thing", there is something else of which neither I nor anyone on this blog site are qualified to help you with. (Maybe there is a marriage counselor on this site, I don't know.)  But, acknowledging the problem is the first step. (both of you). Seeking out counseling is step two. Men tend to shy away from counseling. Also, what advice has your priest/spiritual father given you.  Everyone here needs to pray for you. Heavens I know that I am not infallible and fall and stumble in many ways in my own marriage.

Think of the children

Lord have mercy!
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Thomas
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« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2006, 02:18:56 AM »

Many Orthodox women who were born into the faith  have become unevenly yoked with husbands who are not Orthodox. They have chosen these marraiages and for the most part they have worked as the husband knew what he was getting into when he married an Orthodox wife.

Sadly you have the more difficult task as you were married before you became orthodox. The Apostle Paul has some counsels that  were directed at women converts whose husbands did not come with them. by the reading them  and meeting with your preist you may be able to work out a loving compromise that is neither scandalous to you or to him and will help defuse the situation.

You are in my prayers.

In Christ,
Thomas  
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« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2006, 08:06:33 AM »

Could your husband possibly be percieving this (maybe subconsciously) as trying to "replace" or subsume everything into "Greekness"? A kind of "rejection" as it were of any ancestral customs or ethnicity or culture from your families?  

I'm not saying that this is what you are doing, but could it be how he might see it?  Could he be afraid of losing his family in a sense to another culture/religion/customs?

Ebor
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« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2006, 12:23:51 PM »

aurelia, I don't want to confuse you more with yet another perspective but...

so let them go for the March 25 celebrations, and then whenever Germany has a special day, let them participate there also. As you know, St. Patrick's day just passed and you could've taken advantage of that by letting them do some irish dance or customs etc.
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« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2006, 08:55:54 AM »

Hi aurelia,

IMO?  I think you should pray about it, bringing it all to God, and when you feel inspired with His answer, go with it.   ÃƒÆ’‚ He knows exactly what you are going through, and your intentions are good.   He will help you, you don't have to take all the stress on your own.   I really believe you are trying to follow Him, incorportate Him into your children's lives, (and have not been excluding your husband--that has been his choice).   Whatever God's answer is to this specific question about the parade, it'll be the right one. ÂÂ

I will pray for this to resolve, and God will give you and all your family His peace and joy.

Irene  ÃƒÆ’‚Â
« Last Edit: March 19, 2006, 08:56:52 AM by irene » Logged
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« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2006, 10:58:42 AM »

aurelia, I don't want to confuse you more with yet another perspective but...

so let them go for the March 25 celebrations, and then whenever Germany has a special day, let them participate there also. As you know, St. Patrick's day just passed and you could've taken advantage of that by letting them do some irish dance or customs etc.

This is probably the best advice yet. Converting to Orthodoxy does not have to mean the abandoning of your own cultural customs (of which all the western european ones seem to get merged together here in the states since we're all a bunch of half-breeds), only the incorporating of the Cultural customs of the Church you join into your life. Which really means you get the best of both worlds, how can one really complain about having extra food and extra holidays? So while I enjoy celebrating Greek Independence Day, I also still enjoy the celebration of St. Patrick's Day and Oktoberfest, and have even enjoyed the celebration of Cinco de Mayo from time to time. However, one thing I must give the Greeks credit for is that they know how to party, they know how to celebrate, they know how to enjoy life; thus, ever since comming to the Greek Church, I have learned how to make my enjoyment of all these holidays far richer.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2006, 10:59:04 AM by greekischristian » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2006, 09:00:08 AM »


  Hi Aurelia,

  Did you decide to participate 3/25?  

  God Bless you and your family,
  Irene
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« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2006, 02:47:57 AM »

Dear Sister in Christ Aurelia,

How did the feast go?

In Christ,
Thomas
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aurelia
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« Reply #11 on: March 27, 2006, 08:01:38 AM »

Well, we didn't go.  

Maybe next year, depending on how things are.  Thanks for your thinking of it!
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« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2006, 08:17:40 AM »

Well, God bless you, and I hope things go better for the feast next year!
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