Author Topic: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?  (Read 1990 times)

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Offline HumbledDaily

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #45 on: March 10, 2016, 01:23:31 AM »
Wow. I was not expecting so many spirited responses to this post and so much lovely humor! :D

Thank you to the poster who came to my defense. I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that. LOL. True, there's not much else out here but mountains and gas stations. I have no problem walking away from a relationship, whether friendship or romantic, that is serving as a distraction, and I have done so before.

Anyway, the man in question is American. I am too, but I've been heavily influenced by Japanese culture and I wonder sometimes how much my interactions with American men are made awkward because of it. I had a conversation with the man in question yesterday evening that ended very awkwardly. I suppose I asked too many personal questions and then had the audacity to ask his age, which he refused to tell me, and then he basically accused me of meddling! In an effort to make things less weird, I started to tell him my age, to which he responded very hastily, "No, no, you don't have to tell me." He was clearly uncomfortable. I immediately apologized and explained that I was just trying to get to know him. This has never happened to me before, but I guess there's a first time for everything. (Ouch, my pride!) I certainly didn't intend to meddle, but we all have different sensibilities. He likely has no idea how much courage it took for me to talk to him while trying to appear nonchalant.

Anyway, he approached me this evening to talk more about church-related things, which I appreciated. He later offered his seat to me when there were no others, but I felt uncomfortable to accept it and got my own chair.

I wrestled with alternating between judging him and then myself last night but felt comforted at Vespers this evening. In the spirit of Lent, I'm trying to be more introspective and to resist the temptation to judge others…. even when my pride has taken a hit and I really want to. It's a great time for Lent to come, as it gives me an extra push to refocus my energies. :angel:
"Be excellent to each other." -Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Offline stanley123

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #46 on: March 10, 2016, 03:35:05 AM »
Cook or bake something at home and bring it to the after liturgy or after vespers social meeting hall. As he tastes it, you can ask him if he likes it. If he does, then tell him a little about it, and go from there.  If not, bring something else next time and see if he likes it then.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #47 on: March 10, 2016, 02:36:24 PM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

Offline vamrat

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #48 on: March 11, 2016, 11:31:28 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

Research shows that 9/10 women desire Mor Ephraim, so perhaps she's part of the tasteless 10%?
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Bryan Paul

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #49 on: March 11, 2016, 12:44:47 PM »
I had a conversation with the man in question yesterday evening that ended very awkwardly. I suppose I asked too many personal questions and then had the audacity to ask his age, which he refused to tell me, and then he basically accused me of meddling!
Okay. A couple of things make sense here:
1. Most guys don't get cagey about revealing their age.
2. Did he specifically say the word, "meddling"? I might accuse someone of meddling if they were trying to insert themselves into a argument between me and someone else, or if they were giving me advice I didn't ask for. All the personal questions in the world would not illicit an accusation of meddling.
If you've given the whole story here, this guy sounds a little unstable, and you'd be good to stay away. I'm guessing there's more to the story though.
I have always found the Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom to be so much more moving in the original Ukrainian.

Offline SolEX01

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #50 on: March 11, 2016, 08:51:09 PM »
I would suggest that the OP give up if he doesn't reciprocate her interest.  Most people are too nice to outright reject someone's interest, especially in church.

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #51 on: March 11, 2016, 10:09:56 PM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[

I don't know if somebody pointed that out already, but if I did not have a partner, the last place I'd look for one would be the cathedral I attend. It would get uncomfortable if we didn't work out together. And by working out I mean effectively marrying each other for the rest of our lives. But maybe you guys attend parishes with a larger community and/or wouldn't mind switching if it got weird.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2016, 10:10:25 PM by RaphaCam »
Only-begotten Son and Logos of God, being immortal, you condescended for our salvation to take flesh from the holy Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary and, without change, became man. Christ, our God, you were crucified and conquered death by death. Being one with the Holy Trinity, glorified with the Father and the Holy Spirit: save us.

Offline SolEX01

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #52 on: March 12, 2016, 12:02:42 AM »
I attend the same church with my ex-girlfriend, who is now married with 2 kids.  I was uncomfortable seeing her (but not her husband), for a while.  The discomfort eventually faded away.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2016, 12:03:10 AM by SolEX01 »

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #53 on: March 12, 2016, 12:03:52 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #54 on: March 12, 2016, 12:10:22 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?


You said Indian. You now sound like Apu, no matter what you sounded like before. ;)
All opinions expressed by myself are quite tragically my own, and not those of any other poster or wall hangings.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #55 on: March 12, 2016, 12:26:46 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?


You said Indian. You now sound like Apu, no matter what you sounded like before. ;)


Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #56 on: March 12, 2016, 12:30:53 AM »
And that looks nothing like Apu.
All opinions expressed by myself are quite tragically my own, and not those of any other poster or wall hangings.

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #57 on: March 12, 2016, 12:39:35 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?

You sounded like Brian Griffin from Family Guy, only more sarcastic. Now you sound much more like Raj from The Big Bang Theory than like Apu.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2016, 12:42:57 AM by RaphaCam »
Only-begotten Son and Logos of God, being immortal, you condescended for our salvation to take flesh from the holy Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary and, without change, became man. Christ, our God, you were crucified and conquered death by death. Being one with the Holy Trinity, glorified with the Father and the Holy Spirit: save us.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #58 on: March 12, 2016, 12:55:30 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?

You sounded like Brian Griffin from Family Guy, only more sarcastic. Now you sound much more like Raj from The Big Bang Theory than like Apu.

I'm sorry I asked.  :P

Offline Theophania

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #59 on: March 12, 2016, 01:13:58 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?

You sounded like Brian Griffin from Family Guy, only more sarcastic. Now you sound much more like Raj from The Big Bang Theory than like Apu.

I'm sorry I asked.  :P

Are your ears filled with nougat?
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #60 on: March 12, 2016, 01:15:32 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?

You sounded like Brian Griffin from Family Guy, only more sarcastic. Now you sound much more like Raj from The Big Bang Theory than like Apu.

I'm sorry I asked.  :P

Are your ears filled with nougat?

Not only that, but there's a nut in my eye!

Offline Alpo

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #61 on: March 12, 2016, 03:14:19 AM »
Don't feel bad. I don't think you sound like Apu. You sound like Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.
Leviticus 19:34

Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #62 on: March 12, 2016, 11:21:39 AM »
I am in no way trolling for a boyfriend or husband in the church. Or anywhere, for that matter. Certainly NOT at a 7-11, whoever posted that.

Well, I'm Indian, so I guess I'm out of luck...

I'll never read your posts with the same voice and accent you had in my head anymore.  :-[


What did I sound like before?  What do I sound like now?

You sounded like Brian Griffin from Family Guy, only more sarcastic. Now you sound much more like Raj from The Big Bang Theory than like Apu.

I'm sorry I asked.  :P

Are your ears filled with nougat?

Not only that, but there's a nut in my eye!

« Last Edit: March 12, 2016, 11:24:03 AM by NicholasMyra »
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Offline FatherGiryus

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #63 on: March 12, 2016, 12:41:47 PM »
Don't feel bad. I don't think you sound like Apu. You sound like Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani.

No way.  He's totally Daler Mehndi...
You can't find wisdom in the mirror.

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #64 on: March 12, 2016, 12:57:45 PM »
Indian performer for Indian performer, I prefer Chiranjeevi.
Only-begotten Son and Logos of God, being immortal, you condescended for our salvation to take flesh from the holy Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary and, without change, became man. Christ, our God, you were crucified and conquered death by death. Being one with the Holy Trinity, glorified with the Father and the Holy Spirit: save us.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #65 on: March 12, 2016, 01:44:42 PM »
Don't feel bad. I don't think you sound like Apu. You sound like Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani.

No way.  He's totally Daler Mehndi...

Nice avatar!

Offline FatherGiryus

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #66 on: March 12, 2016, 02:27:49 PM »
Don't feel bad. I don't think you sound like Apu. You sound like Darwish Sabir Ismael Gani.

No way.  He's totally Daler Mehndi...

Nice avatar!

I was going to use a nice Daler Mehndi shot, but I figure with the turban being Sihk and all that, it would just end up causing more than a couple of conniption fits over at the Euphrosinos Cafe...

Just for clarification: I'm not that good looking.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2016, 02:29:02 PM by FatherGiryus »
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Online Seekingtrue

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Re: How should a female signal romantic interest in someone from church?
« Reply #67 on: June 17, 2016, 09:52:09 AM »
If you, I would breath, deeply.
I would smile more.
I would use your collective native language (assuming it is the same).
If not, then have a chaperon as one of you is from The Old Country and that mandates such, and chaperons make it MUCH easier.
Otherwise, walk up to him outside of Church and say something like, "How about those.......(sports) and wait.
Or "I've been reading this book......".
Then breath again, deeply and be patient while he stumbles around, keep breathing and smiling.

What IS the big deal?
'Oh, and congratulations on becoming Human, as in Orthodox.
Not an easy task to become Human and let all that folderol go by the way-side.
Let it go and keep breathing, deeply AND slowly, at least for the time being.
Oh, and enjoy. And trust. If God wants it, simply go with Him (better Him than some jerk)
 ;)
I m crying and can't stop laughing.Breath deeply and keep breathing?haha