As someone who considered suicide on and off for many years, I'd say that most suicidal thoughts come from being unhappy with your life because of a false sense or dream about how much better life should be. This is why people on the outside don't understand when a "good" or "well off" person is suicidal, they are looking at the situation from a normal or average perspective, while the suicidal person is not looking at the good in their life, but at what they want their life to be like. It is anxiety which pushes people towards suicuide--including anxiety over spiritual matters, which you perhaps have, as I also once had. If that is so, then the ouija board is just the latest manifestation of that problem, not the source. Look deeper into yourself... are you truly unhappy or anxious because of you Church, religion, spirituality, or something similar? Fwiw, I think that the longer you struggle with that type of stuff, the easier it gets. When you are stuck in the cycle of hurt you probably can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there, and all you have to do is live and grow till you see it. You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to find all the right answers, just live, and grow. That's what happened to me, anyway.