A refutation of you is actually quite easy, but I only have time to look at things from one angle: that being, why are you so obsessed with the word hipster? This is quite obvious to anyone who thinks about it. First, one anagram of hipster is "the rips"; I would conjecture, therefore, that you have some gi issues and "the rips" is a euphemism for that, and that you are being drawn to the word hipster indirectly through some kind of psychosomatic 6th sense. Sort of how my pap used to always saying that he knew it was going to storm because his feet hurt. Only not like that. Second, let us do a rather simple assigning of numbers to letters, so that a=1, b=2, and so on. Hipster would then be 8/9/16/19/20/5/18. Adding the numbers would give us 95. As is common knowledge, the mass of Saturn is 95 times that of the Earth. And what is unique to Saturn? Obviously that it is the only planet that is less dense than water. Thus orthonorm, by subconsciously connecting all these dots, realised that hipsters are really much less dense than himself, and, being enraged, began to rail against them with a mighty howl. Third and finally, Cosmo Kramer was a hipster dufus, ergo being a hipster is cool (Cosmo Kramer is not to be confused with Michael Richards).