I read this on facebook and had to share it:
A man and wife were getting divorced and fighting for custody of their child. The woman told the judge, "I gave birth to this child with much pain and suffering. It came from my own womb, and therefore I deserve custody." So the judge looked at the man and asked, "What do you have to say about this?" The man said, "Your honor, if I put a dollar in a vending machine and a can of soda comes out, who does the soda belong to, me or the machine?"