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« Reply #405 on: January 11, 2006, 01:07:24 AM »

So no one ever answered me: is consorting with bears un-Alcoholic?
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« Reply #406 on: January 11, 2006, 01:08:37 AM »

Is consorting with bears un-Alcoholic?

Bears are notorious for being the ultimate omnivores.  I'm sure any self-respecting black bear would be delighted to guzzle any rye, bourbon, scotch, wine, beer etc. left in its path.  So no.  Consorting with bears does not have to be un-alcoholic. Iif a bear were let loose in a beer factory, the situation could involve an explosive amount of alcohol consumption, so beware the threat.   Wink
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« Reply #407 on: January 11, 2006, 01:10:07 AM »

So sounds to me like bears would make a good drinking buddy, why all the hatred???!!!
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« Reply #408 on: January 11, 2006, 01:14:20 AM »

For the answer to this, you have to be willing to delve into the recent  deepest, darkest thread involving "Orthodox fundamentalism".  (Near the end.) AND you have to appreciate Cleveland's sense of humour.

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« Reply #409 on: January 11, 2006, 01:15:35 AM »

Protocol 217662.02
Indiction 21

From the Bazaar,
to the Plentitude of the Faithful over the age of 21 in the US of A, and to all the faithful in the world abroad,
To the reverened Distillery Metropolitans, Distribution Despotas, Pricing Presbyters, Imbibing Deacons,
Instructors and students at the Bartending Universities,

The Great Distiller is revealed to us!

Is consorting with bears un-Alcoholic?   

After having been posed this question by one of the faithful here in the United States (who by terrible circumstance and through the puritanical tyrrany of our system of Government is deprived of the ability to obtain and consume Alchohol in public places), the members of the Great and Holy Synod of Spirits posed this question to the resident expert on the canonical issues dealing with Ursal Creatures, otherwise known as bears.  It is commonly known the great threat that bears can pose to society, and the nation has acknowledged this fact by officially recognizing that bears are the #1 terror threat to the world.  Because of the sensitive nature of relationships between human beings and bears, the Synod has amongst its members one who has devoted much of his time and energy and study to the subject of bears and the canonical relations with them.

Since the subject matter is of the utmost sensitivity and security (national security, of course), the Executive Committee of the Synod met with the Chair of the Committee, and he made it clear to our persons that. indeed, consorting with bears is alright, and I quote from his official recommendation to the Synod:

Quote from: Synodal Chairman of Canonical Issues Involving Bears - His All-Imbibedness the Metropolitan of Mead and all Beers
There is nothing un-Alcoholic with bear consorting activities.

The Synod will now take this official and public recommendation, and the Chairman of the Synod will render a decision on the matter as soon as possible.

May He Who was born of The Virgin, and who performed His first miracle with the creation of Alchohol from the ultimate of sobriety, be with us in our celebration!  In His service we remain faithfully yours,

+ GEORGE
Metropolitan of Metaxa and all Brandy,
Cheif Secretariat of the Holy Synod of Spirits

MGB/gsc
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« Reply #410 on: January 11, 2006, 01:17:51 AM »

ADDENDUM TO Protocol 217662.02

It is with our apologies that the official response of the Synodal Chair has been delayed, and we hope that the plentitude will have mercy on us and all bears who wish to co-imbibe peacefully with humans.

+GEORGE
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« Reply #411 on: January 11, 2006, 01:18:18 AM »

So am I meant to understand that consorting with bears, though not un-Alcoholic in nature, is much like playing with fire?  Containable, yet easy to lose control over?
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« Reply #412 on: January 11, 2006, 01:25:14 AM »

And once you've lost control of the bears, then a great terror threat has been loosed upon the world.
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« Reply #413 on: January 11, 2006, 01:34:17 AM »

Even greater than using large fonts unnecessarily?

 Cheesy
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« Reply #414 on: January 11, 2006, 01:39:26 AM »

GO CHICAGO BEARS!!!
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« Reply #415 on: January 11, 2006, 01:39:57 AM »

 Grin Grin Grin
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« Reply #416 on: January 11, 2006, 01:42:40 AM »

Pshh..fancy shmancy Mr. marquee.

The Browns cannot afford such frivolties..not that we'd want something like that, anyway!  *quiet sob*
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« Reply #417 on: January 11, 2006, 01:48:04 AM »

Quote
Pshh..fancy shmancy Mr. marquee.

I have too much free time on my hands...  Tongue

Then again, seeing as how this thread is on it's 28th page - a LOT of people have too much free time on their hands!  Cheesy
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« Reply #418 on: January 11, 2006, 01:51:05 AM »

I've got so much time on my hands until school starts up I'm quit sure I'm about to collapse under its weight.

So.  Bears.
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« Reply #419 on: January 11, 2006, 01:56:48 AM »

That's ok, if you keep it up you'll ascend another rung on the OC.net ladder up to "member" status!  Grin
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« Reply #420 on: January 11, 2006, 02:02:35 AM »

Haha.  How many posts is that?
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« Reply #421 on: January 11, 2006, 02:06:12 AM »

I have no idea, but there's one way to find out!  Cheesy
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« Reply #422 on: January 11, 2006, 02:14:08 AM »

 Cheesy
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« Reply #423 on: January 11, 2006, 02:30:15 AM »

...Got Free Time, Just rarely posting here.
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« Reply #424 on: January 11, 2006, 07:13:38 AM »

Hmmm I don't know what's worse, the fact that I'm still awake at 6am, or the fact that I've just read this whole thread and was entertained by it?  hmm Smiley  Looks like we all have a lot of free time on our hands Wink 

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« Reply #425 on: January 11, 2006, 10:07:54 AM »

Oh, Zoe is probably going to earn Archon status in this thread if we keep it up the way we are!
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« Reply #426 on: January 11, 2006, 10:16:01 AM »

Since this thread has been entirely about nothing, I just came across a picture, which is completely irrelevant to nothing, which I suppose means, relevant to something.  So I'm posting it.

As you might know, the World Cup of Soccer (or football as it is called across the pond) will commence in June of this year.  I will be supporting Serbia and Montenegro (Srbija i Crna Gora).  So I came across a picture of our star player, Mateja Kezman, taken after celebrating a goal he scored.

Not sure if you can make it out, but he is wearing a shirt with an Icon of Jesus.
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« Reply #427 on: January 11, 2006, 10:36:37 AM »

Wow - I mean, I should have expected a tshirt icon on some athlete from an Orthodox country, but I guess actually seeing it is pretty cools still to me...
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« Reply #428 on: January 11, 2006, 01:13:40 PM »

Yeah, that is cool, though I don't much like icons on clothes.  BUT, at the risk of starting an actual conversation about Orthodoxy in this thread, that's all I'll say.
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« Reply #429 on: January 11, 2006, 01:21:35 PM »

Pedro, I agree: let's not get into anything serious here on the thread - I think it would be an insult to serious Orthodox discussion!
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« Reply #430 on: January 11, 2006, 02:48:16 PM »

Pedro,

   Even though you are a global mod, be forwarned, the *purported* Bishop of All Brandy, and clear Overstepper of All Bounds, will certainly attempt to usurp any and all powers that you yield.

    He truly is a shameless lad, as evidenced by his utter disregard for the pious Hierarchy on Holy Mt. Passout.
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« Reply #431 on: January 11, 2006, 03:42:27 PM »

OOoh, the PURPORTED Bishop of all Brandy...challenging.

I think we need an internal investigation, non?
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« Reply #432 on: January 11, 2006, 04:17:05 PM »

I think the matter has been sufficiently examined, re-examined and examined again.  Each time, the conclusion has been the same.  The purported Bishop of All Brandy, Overstepper of All Bounds is a power hungry zealot.

He seeks supremacy over the Bishop of Slivo on Holy Mt. Passout.  There have also been some grumblings that he claims his stewardship over All Brandy, is infallible.  I have also been advised by a reliable source within his Holy Synod, that he intends to name Tom Cruise as a Archbishop in one of his Bishoprics.
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« Reply #433 on: January 11, 2006, 04:18:45 PM »

Ahem, if anyone wishes to challenge the legitimacy of my ordination as Metropolitan of Metaxa and all Brandy, they may petition the Supreme Pontiff for the records of the Holy Synod, and may come to me personally to speak about the matter, over a glass of the Grand Fine Metaxa...
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« Reply #434 on: January 11, 2006, 04:23:59 PM »

Who the heck is the Supreme Pontiff?  That had to be about 20 pages ago, and I've forgotten.

Oh, and the fine Metaxa just won't do.  How about this...
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« Reply #435 on: January 11, 2006, 04:29:57 PM »

Our All-Imbibedness is insulted by the assertions made by the honorable Bishop of Schlivo, and wishes to address them at this moment...

1. We are insulted by the implication that we would even entertain ordaining Tom Cruise... There is no source within the synod, and there are no plans to ordain the aformentioned Mr. Cruise - all Ordinations of hierarchs of the liquors are passed through the Synod.

2. There is no claim to infallibility by our persons.

3. My "claims to stewardship over all Brandy" are not aspirations of our own, but my sacred duties as handed down to us by the tradition of the Church and Synod of her bishops.  We did not ask to be Metropolitan of all Brandies, but it is what the Great Distiller has intended.

We appreciate that the honorable Bishop of Schlivovitz has brought these concerns into the open, but the needless rhetoric and the use of "unnamed sources" which are figments of his imagination are unfortunate.
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« Reply #436 on: January 11, 2006, 04:38:07 PM »

The Supreme Pontiff, President of the Holy Synod of Spirits, is the Bishop of Bourbon...
Remember, information and decisions of the Holy Synod are both in this thread and the Top Ten Time Wasters thread....
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« Reply #437 on: January 11, 2006, 04:56:46 PM »

I make a direct appeal to... His Inebriatedness the Bishop of Bourbon, Vicar of the Great Distiller, Successor to the Prince of the Apprentices of the Great Distiller, Supreme Pontiff of All Alcohol, Patriarch of all Grain-Based Alcohols, Primate of Kentucky, Archbishop and Metropolitan of All Whisky, Sovereign of Loretto, and Servant of the Servants of the Great Distiller.

The purported Bishop of All Brandy, Overstepper of Allbounds, caretaker of heretics and associate of Scientologists, has repeatedly, unabashedly and without any forthought sought to suppress the Bishop of Slivo.  He has done so with the self imposed and artificially stated title of "Bishop of All Brandy". 

As I have stated repeatedly, this title is, by definition, uncanonical.  I ask that you make a formal declaration, stripping this interloper of this false title.
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« Reply #438 on: January 11, 2006, 05:12:26 PM »

SCHISM!!!!!!!!!!!
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« Reply #439 on: January 11, 2006, 05:19:41 PM »

Actually, oh Metropolitan of all Brandies, I heard that the bishop of Armagnac is using fractional distillation in performing the distillation, in order to differentiate from the chief distillation dogmas of the Holy Synod of "Spirits"...
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« Reply #440 on: January 11, 2006, 05:21:23 PM »

His Inebriatedness the Bishop of Bourbon, Vicar of the Great Distiller, Successor to the Prince of the Apprentices of the Great Distiller, Supreme Pontiff of All Alcohol, Patriarch of all Grain-Based Alcohols, Primate of Kentucky, Archbishop and Metropolitan of All Whisky, Sovereign of Loretto, and Servant of the Servants of the Great Distiller, Presiding Bishop of the Holy Synod of the Spirits.

To His All-Imbibedness the Metropolitan of Metaxa and His Imbibedness the Bishop of Schlivo,

It greatly saddens Our Inebriatedness to see such bitterness and fighting amongst the Holy Synod of the Spirits and the Alcoholic Community, which should concern itself not with such petty concerns of this world but rather to the higher calling of drinking and drunkenness. Thus in the name of peace and alcoholic communion Our Inebriatedness proposes the following solution.

His All-Imbibedness the Metropolitan of Metaxa has since time immemorial laid claim to the title of 'Patriarch of All Brandy' and has long held claim to primacy, though not supremacy, amongst non-grained-based alcohols and Our Inebriatedness does not wish to deny these ancient claims. However, it cannot be denied that the Bishop of Schlivo has, in these recent days, risen to a glory beyond what his see in times past would have warranted, especially in his recent stewardship of the see of All Vodka. Thus Our Inebriatedness proposes the following Solution, His Inebriatedness the Bishop of Schlivo shall take over all traditional Rights of the Archbishop of Stolichnaya, except for the recent and false claims to the titles of 'Third Distillery and Ecumenical Patriarch' by the deposed Archbishop George, while maintaining his Jurisdiction over Schlivo. Thus His Imbibedness shall be the Bishop of Schlivo, Archbishop of Stolichnaya, and Patriarch of All-Vodka, and with His Imbibedness' increased jurisdiction shall also come the ancient rights of Autonomy including the Right to summon his own Patriarchal Synods to deal with all issues of both Schlivo and Vodkas, independent of the Patriarchal Synod of Brandy, but, of course, as all local synods subject to the rulings of the Holy Synod of the Spirits.

It saddens Our Inebriatedness that the realm of Brandy must be so divided, but we are comforted by the hope that all Alcohol shall remain forever united through the Holy Synod of the Spirits. And Our Inebriatedness prays that this solution will bring peace to the Alcoholic community, allowing us to drink alcohol in communion and to maintain our common drunkenness.

His Inebriatedness the Bishop of Bourbon, Supreme Pontiff of All Alcohol, and Servant of the Servants of the Great Distiller, President of the Holy Synod of the Spirits.
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« Reply #441 on: January 11, 2006, 05:26:40 PM »

Why has the Metropolitan of Metaxa not responded to the attacks by the Puritannical Army against our ancient, holy Alcoholic faith?

The tongues of the young have gone dry, BUT THEIR EYES HAVE NOT!
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« Reply #442 on: January 11, 2006, 05:28:08 PM »

Can I ask a question? Who holds dominion over the archdiocese of Champagne?
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« Reply #443 on: January 11, 2006, 05:29:37 PM »

Why has the Metropolitan of Metaxa not responded to the attacks by the Puritannical Army against our ancient, holy Alcoholic faith?

The tongues of the young have gone dry, BUT THEIR EYES HAVE NOT!

Oh dear, I wouldn;t like to see the reformer bishops of the Holy Roman Empire of the Beerlover Nation seeing this...
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« Reply #444 on: January 11, 2006, 05:30:38 PM »

Can I ask a question? Who holds dominion over the archdiocese of Champagne?

hahahaha
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« Reply #445 on: January 11, 2006, 05:31:07 PM »

SCHISM!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, chill out or I call the Emperor, ok?
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« Reply #446 on: January 11, 2006, 05:32:09 PM »

This debate seems so much more popular than the peanut one  :'(
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« Reply #447 on: January 11, 2006, 05:32:50 PM »

Good!  Call the Emperor!  The days of the cries of the young being ignored are over!!!
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« Reply #448 on: January 11, 2006, 05:33:31 PM »

This debate seems so much more popular than the peanut oneÂÂ  :'(

Well if given the choice between alcohol and peanut butter..............sorry.
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« Reply #449 on: January 11, 2006, 05:35:10 PM »

Well if given the choice between alcohol and peanut butter..............sorry.

You will all flock to the peanut debate during Lent HAHAHAHA!  Cheesy
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