The Anglican Low Churchman's Proper View of Maniples
"Ritualists may be evil, but they are cunning. While some pieces of ritualist paraphernalia have an obvious function, others have no clear use or purpose, so that the loyal churchman must resort to guesswork to determine their part in the ritualist masterplan. Such items include the “maniple,” illustrated above. Barely visible underneath the priest’s other vestments, this decorated band of cloth is held in high esteem by the ritualists, who believe its presence to be crucial in the performance of their mystical incantations.
The maniple’s name derives from the Latin word mane, meaning “early in the morning.” The ritualists claim that it is a stylized handkerchief, derived from the cloths that the priests of the early church would use to wipe their faces. This is clearly a lie, since ritualists in fact never use their maniples for this purpose. Various explanations have been ventured as to the true purpose of the maniple: does its elaborate embroidery contain coded messages from the ritualist’s true masters at the Vatican, or does it conceal a loop of piano wire that the priest can use to garrotte an adversary?"