Author Topic: Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone  (Read 717 times)

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Offline Zephyr7

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Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone
« on: August 22, 2019, 03:16:08 AM »
Here's a tricky question: what to do if you're not sure if someone holds a grudge against you?

For example, in an anger I called my neihbour "a stupid punk" (my dog got hurt because of him). He might have heard it or he might not, I don't know (the neighbour!). I didn't mean to offend him directly in his face, It was just a cry of frustration, when I was away.

He's a stranger to me - it would be super-extra-weird and out of place if I knocked on his door and said "Look, yesterday I called you a stupid punk out of anger. Will you forgive me?"

it would be even weider if he replied:
- You called me what? Who do you think you are! Get out!

I'm asking as this is something totally new to me, and I have no idea how the Orthodox handle simillar situations!
I don't know if the man heard me - I have nothing against him and I'm sorry for what I said...

And I feel it would be weird, forced and simply wrong if I admit what I called him and try to be reconciled with him in this strange way...

On the other hand, the Priest and people going to confession bow to other people saying "Prostitie" (forgive me!).

What to do in a situation like this?


“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has
something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go your way. First be
reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23)

Online isxodnik

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Re: Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2019, 04:33:22 AM »
In case of such doubts, it may be useful to remember that God is not magic and not a mechanism, but a Personality. He does not demand the impossible from us, nor does it demand the absurd. For example, substitute a second cheek - has (spiritual) sense, and create an awkward situation unnecessary an apology - not has.

On the other hand, the Priest and people going to confession bow to other people saying "Prostitie" (forgive me!).

It's more of a ritual than a spiritual instrument. You have bowed to parishioners with whom you have an easy relationship - but you continue to quarrel with your daughter-in-law. So often happens.
"А чего мне бояться? Не в лесу живём, и не в Америке"

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2019, 08:55:54 AM »
Zephyr, I'm not sure what you choose to do needs to depend on whether or not he has a grudge against you.  Either pluck up the courage to confess to your neighbor and seek forgiveness, or demonstrate your remorse by being kind from now on.  Either way, of course ask God's forgiveness and guidance.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2019, 08:56:07 AM by Ainnir »
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no idea, so there’s that.

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2019, 08:57:17 AM »
It's more of a ritual than a spiritual instrument. You have bowed to parishioners with whom you have an easy relationship - but you continue to quarrel with your daughter-in-law. So often happens.

Just because something happens often doesn't mean that's how it's supposed to be.  It is a spiritual instrument; if people treat it as ritual, that is on each one's head.
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no idea, so there’s that.

Offline Zephyr7

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Re: Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2019, 09:09:09 AM »
Hm... I understand a situation where I AM the one holding a grudge against someone. It's bad and it's not a state in which one could receive Holy Communion. That's why I should go and make peace with that person and forgive any bad intentions or deeds.

But what in a situation where I don't known if someone has something against me...

- Excuse me, have you, by any chance, heard me calling you names lately? If so, please forgive me...

Because I simply DON'T KNOW - and we're talking about just one person - and imagine how many more could we offend in the meantime - not knowingly...

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2019, 10:14:30 AM »
Does the person even know that he hurt your dog?
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Online Luke

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Re: Orthodox confession - to be reconciled with everyone
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2019, 10:36:49 AM »
Maybe put the apology away for a while and start out by saying "Hello" to your neighbor.