Author Topic: A problem with egoism  (Read 317 times)

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Offline Zephyr7

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A problem with egoism
« on: May 06, 2019, 07:53:19 AM »
Since this Easter I am happy to be a fully-fledge Orthodox :)

However - there's a question that keeps bothering me when I prepare for confession...

Somehow I feel like being extremely egoistic in what I did (converted, become baptised in Orthodox Church).

Let's be frank about it: I feel like I hurt a few people with my decission, I made them sad and disappointed, maybe even hopeless. I feel like it is very bad what I did to them (e.g. I did not invite my parents to my baptism ceremony).

And then, fear that on the Judgement Day Jesus will tell to me "You self-concerned, egoistic, narticistic fool! If you really loved them, if you really loved me, you would rather risk damnation obeying your parrent and not following the desires of your heart! You did it not because of the love of me, but because you simply wanted it to happen."

And then, I feel like the worst person in the world  :'(

A friend of mine told be that such thoughts come from evil - but what if your conscience keeps bringing them back?

(by the way - I would NEVER EVER decide otherwise, becoming OC was the best thing I have ever done in my life.)

Offline isxodnik

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Re: A problem with egoism
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2019, 08:23:58 AM »
Your friend is right - it is the enemy's temptation. This is evident from the Savior's words: "he who loves his father or mother more than Me is unworthy of Me."
"А чего мне бояться? Не в лесу живём, и не в Америке"

Offline Iconodule

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Re: A problem with egoism
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2019, 09:27:04 AM »
If you have confessed these sins, you don't need to worry about them on judgment day. If you hurt people, though, perhaps it would be good to make your contrition known to them if you haven't already.
“Steel isn't strong, boy, flesh is stronger! That is strength, boy! That is power! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?  Contemplate this on the tree of woe.” - Elder Thulsa Doom of the Mountain of Power

Mencius said, “Instruction makes use of many techniques. When I do not deign to instruct someone, that too is a form of instruction.”

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