A little humour: Teacher Interview

[JoeS]

Subject: Teacher Interview




After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching
prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right...
 
You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every
waking moment with a love for learning.
 
And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify
their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor
their T-shirt messages and dress habits.
 
You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check
their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their
self-esteem.
 
You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair
play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply
for a job.
 
I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize
signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass the mandatory
state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any
of their assignments.
 
Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal
education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.
 
And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone,
newsletter and report card.
 
All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books,
a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my
family for food stamps!
 
You want me to do all of this, and yet you expect me...... NOT TO PRAY???

[Fr. George]

*applause*

[ania]

Don't know if this is true, but I thought it funny either way:


SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) Staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.  This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.  The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort:  Hang up and have a nice day!"

If you can read this thank a teacher.

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