OrthodoxChristianity.net
November 24, 2014, 08:50:18 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Reminder: No political discussions in the public fora.  If you do not have access to the private Politics Forum, please send a PM to Fr. George.
 
   Home   Help Calendar Contact Treasury Tags Login Register  
Pages: 1   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: My opinion article on how nice guys finish FIRST...  (Read 1880 times) Average Rating: 0
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« on: October 19, 2005, 02:41:14 PM »

    In the last edition, we discussed society’s objectification of women. More than a simple matter of men using females to satisfy personal desire, this cultural disorder ramifies into the prevalence of rape, sexual assault and battered hearts.

   One would hope that women would avoid the pitfalls of dating immature, self-serving men. However, in a backward nation such as ours, many young women find heartless weasels not only preferable but irresistible. As a result of this delusion, the old cliché of “nice guys finish last” becomes an all too common reality.   

   Granted, quite a few young ladies are an exception to this problem. Otherwise, I would never be able to date. But in a perfect world, all women would have the pride to refuse men who they know will only hurt them in the long run.

   In order to develop a well-informed opinion on why “chicks dig the bad boy”, I interviewed several female SFCC students on what makes rough edges so attractive and kindness so unappealing.

   The women who prefer the nice guy seem to have a better understanding of what really matters in a relationship. Instead of falling for the cheap thrills of dating those who belong in prison, they insist upon being treated right. The girls who have not matured past middle school, on the other hand, believe that men who actually have feelings must be secretly gay.

   AWS President Nirvana Houghton is now dating a nice guy after enduring a string of bad boyfriends. Knowing firsthand the snares of the bad boy image, Houghton offers valuable insight into the mentality that leads to avoiding good-natured men.

   “A lot of females are self-destructive. It’s often in rebellion against parents and society”, Houghton says.     

   However, Houghton offers hope for the nice guys, who are always passed over, 

   “After you’ve had your heart broken, the nice guys are very appealing. Bad boys don’t change…Stay away from 20-year-old little boys,” Houghton says.

   SFCC freshman Emma Whitehead is also one who refuses to settle for 20-year-old little boys. Instead, she loves her boyfriend for being able to sit down and share an intelligent conversation. Whitehead definitely does not misconstrue empathy for weakness. 

   Furthermore, Whitehead does not need a man who is cocky and domineering in order to feel secure. She understands that if the feminist movement accomplished anything, women should be able to think of themselves as individuals rather than as the link to a couple. 

   As for the women who are not empowered enough as to reject the ‘bad boy’ image,

   “They are shallow. They cannot look at a man’s personality deeper than what they see on the surface… The girls who go for the ‘bad boy’ have low self-confidence,” Whitehead says.

   In all this investigating, I wondered who the ‘bad boy’ is in the first place and I’ve come to agree with the girls who have the self-esteem to choose the nice guy. The ‘bad boy’ image is nothing more than a kid rebelling against adulthood. Girls may turn to him for the spontaneity and sense of danger, but they end up getting nothing but suffering in the long-run. Nice guys do have their flaws but none of them are worse than dating someone who will constantly make you cry.

   Sure, the jerks may finish first when it comes to ‘getting laid’, all nice guys are aware of that. But when it comes to having healthy, meaningful relationships, the nice guys always finish first…. the ‘bad boy’ never finishes at all. As Jesus Christ, history’s greatest nice guy proclaimed, “The last shall be first and the first shall be last.”

Peace.
Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
aserb
asinner
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Self Ruled Antiochian Archdiocese
Posts: 1,188


« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2005, 04:30:38 PM »

Matthew777

Is there then hope for the bad boy?  Can he change?

I say yes.

In an effort to bolster your flagging self-confidence as a "good guy" you needn't villify the bad boy and the women that date or are attracted to them. I think you are jealous.

Pre-modern history it was the bad boy who joined in the pack to hunt the game and kill it. Since, generally, were not the hunters it made survival sense to hook-up with a bad boy. It meant food.

Now, I am one of those good guys and have met a good women. I did not finish last. But, I have many former bad boy friends who "matured" when confronted with a mature woman that they were attracted to, who refused to be used.

So there is hope.

And yes, in my pre-marriage days I was jealous of the bad boys
Logged

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2005, 04:39:19 PM »

This is the toned down version of the article...

  ÃƒÆ’‚      In the last edition, we discussed society’s objectification of women. More than a simple matter of men exploiting females to satisfy personal desire, this cultural disorder ramifies into the prevalence of rape, sexual assault and battered hearts.
   One would hope that women would avoid the pitfalls of dating immature, self-serving men. However, many young women do not feel that they deserve better. Others possess a distorted view of masculinity, attracting them to men who are cocky, crude and unkind. The man who yields a self-assured disregard for the feelings of others is often termed the ‘bad boy’.
   There are always exceptions to generalizations, especially this specific one. For example, there are men whose appearance fit the ‘bad boy’ image but are really nice at heart, showing that nice guys can be tough too. On the other hand, some guys appear ‘nice’ on the outside but end up being total jerks. For the sake of discussion, we will focus on when the distinction is more apparent.
   From what I’ve seen, the women who prefer the nice guy have a better understanding of what really matters in a relationship. The girls who are less mature, on the other hand, may assume that men who actually have feelings cannot be real men.
   Many young women prefer the nice guy over a ‘bad boy’. But in a perfect world, all women would have the pride to refuse men who they know will only hurt them in the long run.
    To create well-formed opinions, I interviewed several female SFCC students on what can make rough edges attractive and kindness unappealing.
   Associated Women’s President Nirvana Houghton is now dating a nice guy after a string of bad relationships. Knowing firsthand the snares of the ‘bad boy’ image, Houghton offers insight into the mindset that leads to avoiding good-natured men.
   “A lot of females are self-destructive. It’s often in rebellion against parents and society”, Houghton says.     
   However, Houghton offers hope for the nice guys, who are usually passed over, 
   “After you’ve had your heart broken, the nice guys are very appealing. ‘Bad boys’ don’t change…Stay away from 20-year-old little boys,” Houghton says.
   SFCC freshman Emma Whitehead is also one who prefers the nice guy. She loves her boyfriend for being able to sit down and share an intelligent conversation.   
   Furthermore, Whitehead says that she does not need a ‘bad boy’ to feel secure. She believes that if the feminist movement accomplished anything, women should be able to think of themselves as individuals rather than as the link to a couple. 
   As for the women who are not empowered enough as to see through the ‘bad boy’ image,
   “They are shallow. They cannot look at a man’s personality deeper than what they see on the surface… The girls who go for the ‘bad boy’ have low self-confidence,” Whitehead says.
   In all this investigating, I wondered who the ‘bad boy’ is in the first place and I’ve come to agree with the girls who choose the nice guy.
   The ‘bad boy’ attitude is nothing more than a kid rebelling against adulthood. Girls may sometimes turn to him for the spontaneity and sense of danger, but they end up getting nothing but suffering in the long-run. Nice guys do have their flaws but none of them are worse than dating someone who will constantly make you cry.   
   When it comes to having healthy, meaningful relationships, the nice guys finish first. Unless he ever changes, the ‘bad boy’ never finishes at all. As Jesus Christ, history’s greatest nice guy proclaimed, “The last shall be first and the first shall be last.”
« Last Edit: October 19, 2005, 06:31:15 PM by Matthew777 » Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2005, 04:40:32 PM »

By the way, I am successful enough with women to not feel jealous. I'm trying to stick up for the nice guys who are ignored.

Peace.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2005, 06:31:30 PM by Matthew777 » Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
aserb
asinner
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Self Ruled Antiochian Archdiocese
Posts: 1,188


« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2005, 08:02:19 PM »

Fair enough
Logged

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2005, 08:32:14 PM »

What do you think of the toned down version?
Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
aserb
asinner
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Self Ruled Antiochian Archdiocese
Posts: 1,188


« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2005, 09:15:31 PM »

Quote
  There are always exceptions to generalizations, especially this specific one. For example, there are men whose appearance fit the ‘bad boy’ image but are really nice at heart, showing that nice guys can be tough too. On the other hand, some guys appear ‘nice’ on the outside but end up being total jerks. For the sake of discussion, we will focus on when the distinction is more apparent.

Much better. I guess I was referring to the bad guy exterior, but a nice guy on the inside.  The distinction makes a big difference.

Quote
“A lot of females are self-destructive. It’s often in rebellion against parents and society”, Houghton says. 

I wouldn't say "a lot."  There are some females who are self destructive (so are some men). But in my humble observations, rebels or immature people tend to seek out each other. Like they have this inner homing device. In this type of "self-destructive"
relationship, both are immature.  I think the break up occurs when one of them grows up.

Quote
Jesus Christ, history’s greatest nice guy

I dunno know. Remember the incident with the moneychangers in the temple.

Overall the toned down I would call the better clarified version.

Good

Logged

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2005, 09:42:39 PM »

It's quite possible that I'm afraid that I'm a bad person and therefore, I write articles like this to compensate.

Peace.
Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
aserb
asinner
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Self Ruled Antiochian Archdiocese
Posts: 1,188


« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2005, 09:55:26 PM »

Am I the only one interested in this topic.

It is a refreshing change from all the ranting that goes on on this site. Grin
Logged

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2005, 11:21:36 PM »

I just sometimes feel sorry for my friends who never get dates. Know what I mean?

Peace.
Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
aserb
asinner
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Self Ruled Antiochian Archdiocese
Posts: 1,188


« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2005, 08:29:39 AM »

Well, there may be other issues. Instead of saying "well I'm not a bad boy; therefore, I am left out" or  "all girls I meet are immature" maybe they should look at themselves.  How do they dress?  How do they talk?  You said it yourself, you are a nice guy and you seem to have no problem.
Logged

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!
Landon77
Elder
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: OCA (Antiochian Western Orthodox in exile)
Posts: 308


« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2005, 08:39:29 AM »

I do have interrest in the topic; I've just not said anything.
Logged

"How stands your mighty god? My God is stronger than he."  -St. Boniface
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2005, 11:21:07 AM »

You said it yourself, you are a nice guy and you seem to have no problem.

That's probably because I am a self-confident smooth-talker when I want to be. I'm not always nice though but I try to be.

Peace.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2005, 11:22:07 AM by Matthew777 » Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
aserb
asinner
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Self Ruled Antiochian Archdiocese
Posts: 1,188


« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2005, 02:56:09 PM »

I have a web site for all of you nice guys who need tips on how to attract a woman

www.askmen.com

go get 'em
Logged

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2005, 03:00:40 PM »

This is the final version of the article, as far as I know...

    In the last edition, we discussed society’s objectification of women. More than a simple matter of men using females to satisfy personal desire, this cultural disorder ramifies into the prevalence of rape, sexual assault and battered hearts.
   One would hope that women would avoid the pitfalls of dating immature, self-serving men. However, many young women do not feel that they deserve better. Others possess a distorted view of masculinity, attracting them to men who are cocky, crude and unkind. The man who yields a self-assured disregard for the feelings of others is often termed the ‘bad boy’.
   There are always exceptions to generalizations, especially this specific one. For example, there are men whose appearance may fit the ‘bad boy’ image but are really nice at heart, showing that nice guys can be tough too. On the other hand, some guys appear ‘nice’ on the outside but end up being total jerks. For the sake of discussion, we will focus on when the distinction is more evident.
   Many girls prefer the nice guy and from what I’ve seen, those who do have a better understanding of what really matters in a relationship. The girls who are less mature, on the other hand, may assume that men who actually have feelings cannot be real men.
    To create well-formed opinions, I interviewed several female SFCC students on what can make rough edges attractive and kindness unappealing.
   SFCC Associated Women’s President Nirvana Houghton is now dating a nice guy after a string of bad relationships. Knowing firsthand the snares of the ‘bad boy’ image, Houghton offers insight into the mindset that leads to avoiding good-natured men.
   “A lot of females are self-destructive. It’s often in rebellion against parents and society”, Houghton says.     
   However, Houghton offers hope for the nice guys, who are usually passed over, 
   “After you’ve had your heart broken, the nice guys are very appealing. ‘Bad boys’ don’t change…Stay away from 20-year-old little boys,” Houghton says.
   SFCC freshman Emma Whitehead is also one who prefers the nice guy. She loves her boyfriend for being able to sit down and share an intelligent conversation.   
   Furthermore, Whitehead says that she does not need a ‘bad boy’ to feel secure. She believes that if the feminist movement accomplished anything, women should be able to think of themselves as individuals rather than as the link to a couple. 
   As for the women who are not empowered enough as to see through the ‘bad boy’ image,
   “They are shallow. They cannot look at a man’s personality deeper than what they see on the surface… The girls who go for the ‘bad boy’ have low self-confidence,” Whitehead says.
   In all this investigating, I wondered who the ‘bad boy’ is in the first place and I’ve come to agree with the girls who choose the nice guy. The ‘bad boy’ attitude is nothing more than a kid rebelling against adulthood. Girls may sometimes turn to him for the spontaneity and sense of danger, but they end up getting nothing but suffering in the long-run.
   Perhaps I could be the ‘bad boy’ but haven’t broken enough hearts to realize it yet. What I do know is that women deserve better than flings shared with callous men. Nice guys do have their flaws but none of them are worse than dating someone who will constantly make you cry.   
   When it comes to having healthy, meaningful relationships, the nice guys finish first. Unless he ever changes, the ‘bad boy’ never finishes at all. As Jesus Christ, history’s greatest nice guy proclaimed, “The last shall be first and the first shall be last.”

Peace.
Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #15 on: October 20, 2005, 03:12:18 PM »

I have a web site for all of you nice guys who need tips on how to attract a woman

www.askmen.com

go get 'em

Wouldn't it make more sense to ask women?

Peace.
Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
aserb
asinner
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Self Ruled Antiochian Archdiocese
Posts: 1,188


« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2005, 08:39:01 PM »

Ah, That's just the name of the web site

Oh i get it

 Grin
Logged

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!
Matthew777
Warned
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 3,497

Seek and ye shall find


WWW
« Reply #17 on: October 20, 2005, 09:51:25 PM »

This is a good article on what you are getting at...

http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/Relationships/Articles/LL+Do+nice+guys+finish+last.htm

Peace.
Logged

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche
www.aramaicpeshitta.com
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/e/et/et0.htm
Tags:
Pages: 1   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.079 seconds with 45 queries.