This is the toned down version of the article...
ÃƒÆ’Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€š ÃƒÆ’Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€š In the last edition, we discussed society’s objectification of women. More than a simple matter of men exploiting females to satisfy personal desire, this cultural disorder ramifies into the prevalence of rape, sexual assault and battered hearts.
One would hope that women would avoid the pitfalls of dating immature, self-serving men. However, many young women do not feel that they deserve better. Others possess a distorted view of masculinity, attracting them to men who are cocky, crude and unkind. The man who yields a self-assured disregard for the feelings of others is often termed the ‘bad boy’.
There are always exceptions to generalizations, especially this specific one. For example, there are men whose appearance fit the ‘bad boy’ image but are really nice at heart, showing that nice guys can be tough too. On the other hand, some guys appear ‘nice’ on the outside but end up being total jerks. For the sake of discussion, we will focus on when the distinction is more apparent.
From what I’ve seen, the women who prefer the nice guy have a better understanding of what really matters in a relationship. The girls who are less mature, on the other hand, may assume that men who actually have feelings cannot be real men.
Many young women prefer the nice guy over a ‘bad boy’. But in a perfect world, all women would have the pride to refuse men who they know will only hurt them in the long run.
To create well-formed opinions, I interviewed several female SFCC students on what can make rough edges attractive and kindness unappealing.
Associated Women’s President Nirvana Houghton is now dating a nice guy after a string of bad relationships. Knowing firsthand the snares of the ‘bad boy’ image, Houghton offers insight into the mindset that leads to avoiding good-natured men.
“A lot of females are self-destructive. It’s often in rebellion against parents and society”, Houghton says.
However, Houghton offers hope for the nice guys, who are usually passed over,
“After you’ve had your heart broken, the nice guys are very appealing. ‘Bad boys’ don’t changeÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦Stay away from 20-year-old little boys,” Houghton says.
SFCC freshman Emma Whitehead is also one who prefers the nice guy. She loves her boyfriend for being able to sit down and share an intelligent conversation.
Furthermore, Whitehead says that she does not need a ‘bad boy’ to feel secure. She believes that if the feminist movement accomplished anything, women should be able to think of themselves as individuals rather than as the link to a couple.
As for the women who are not empowered enough as to see through the ‘bad boy’ image,
“They are shallow. They cannot look at a man’s personality deeper than what they see on the surfaceÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â¢ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚Â¬Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¦ The girls who go for the ‘bad boy’ have low self-confidence,” Whitehead says.
In all this investigating, I wondered who the ‘bad boy’ is in the first place and I’ve come to agree with the girls who choose the nice guy.
The ‘bad boy’ attitude is nothing more than a kid rebelling against adulthood. Girls may sometimes turn to him for the spontaneity and sense of danger, but they end up getting nothing but suffering in the long-run. Nice guys do have their flaws but none of them are worse than dating someone who will constantly make you cry.
When it comes to having healthy, meaningful relationships, the nice guys finish first. Unless he ever changes, the ‘bad boy’ never finishes at all. As Jesus Christ, history’s greatest nice guy proclaimed, “The last shall be first and the first shall be last.”