Author Topic: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?  (Read 999 times)

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Offline LivenotoneviL

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What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« on: April 23, 2018, 08:57:46 PM »
I clearly have trouble with social interactions considering I'm not well liked by a plethora of people here. What ways can I improve myself on this forum such that my reactions in reality are better, because I have similar problems - people hating me - in real life.
I'm done.

Offline Asteriktos

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2018, 10:25:01 PM »
I don't dislike you, let alone hate you. I'm not exactly sure where the problems are, but fwiw here's a passage about St. Anthony, and you can decide if it's applicable:

"Once someone hunting wild animals in the desert saw Abba Anthony joking himself with the brothers [and he was shocked]. And the elder, wanting to convince him that it was necessary sometimes to submit to the brothers, said to him, 'Put an arrow in your bow and shoot it.' So he did. The elder then said, 'Shoot again,' and he shot. And again the elder said, ‘Shoot,' and the hunter replied: 'If I stretch it beyond measure my bow will break.' Then the elder said to him, 'It is the same with the work of God. If we stretch the brothers beyond measure, they will soon burst. Sometimes it is necessary to come down to their level.' When he heard these words the hunter was contrite and, greatly edified by the elder, he went away. The brothers, now strengthened left for their place."

Offline Sharbel

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2018, 10:49:13 PM »
Methinks that you're the first one to dislike yourself here.  I mean, often you're the first one to post something deprecatory about yourself.  Don't take yourself too seriously. ;)
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2018, 12:40:27 AM »
Methinks that you're the first one to dislike yourself here.  I mean, often you're the first one to post something deprecatory about yourself.  Don't take yourself too seriously. ;)
+1
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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2018, 09:45:40 AM »
I clearly have trouble with social interactions considering I'm not well liked by a plethora of people here. What ways can I improve myself on this forum such that my reactions in reality are better, because I have similar problems - people hating me - in real life.

I am not sure anyone here hates you.

Some posters may be annoyed from time to time because, for all the apparent overthinking some posters do (and it is not you alone), there's very little introspection. As I advised in another thread, think about how you can say the same thing without the edges. Not everything has to be a prophetic statement or a moment of great personal epiphany, and not everything has to be a great defense of the Great and Beautiful.

Part of cultivating a healthy interior life is not in trying to address all of the darkness or questions all at once, but in accepting that some will take more than others. The same is true for the exterior life: accept that you can't change other people, but you can relate to them in a way that changes how they relate to you (i.e. when you believe someone is wrong, don't assume that they know they're wrong and are choosing it anyway).

And I know people hate hearing this, because I hated hearing it, too, but just give it a couple of years. Twenty-five will be better than 20, 30 better than 25, etc. At 20, people like to believe they've done a lot, because it feels like they have, but in truth you're just now standing at the edge of the void. You've had, what, a couple of years to figure out who you are, and that within the confines of a structured university setting?

Take a breath man.  Walk humbly. Try not to be a jerk. That's not all of it, but that's a lot of it.
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

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Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline Volnutt

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #5 on: April 24, 2018, 01:20:04 PM »
I clearly have trouble with social interactions considering I'm not well liked by a plethora of people here. What ways can I improve myself on this forum such that my reactions in reality are better, because I have similar problems - people hating me - in real life.

I am not sure anyone here hates you.

Some posters may be annoyed from time to time because, for all the apparent overthinking some posters do (and it is not you alone), there's very little introspection. As I advised in another thread, think about how you can say the same thing without the edges. Not everything has to be a prophetic statement or a moment of great personal epiphany, and not everything has to be a great defense of the Great and Beautiful.

Part of cultivating a healthy interior life is not in trying to address all of the darkness or questions all at once, but in accepting that some will take more than others. The same is true for the exterior life: accept that you can't change other people, but you can relate to them in a way that changes how they relate to you (i.e. when you believe someone is wrong, don't assume that they know they're wrong and are choosing it anyway).

And I know people hate hearing this, because I hated hearing it, too, but just give it a couple of years. Twenty-five will be better than 20, 30 better than 25, etc. At 20, people like to believe they've done a lot, because it feels like they have, but in truth you're just now standing at the edge of the void. You've had, what, a couple of years to figure out who you are, and that within the confines of a structured university setting?

Take a breath man.  Walk humbly. Try not to be a jerk. That's not all of it, but that's a lot of it.

+1 :)
Christ my God, set my heart on fire with love in You, that in its flame I may love You with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my soul and with all my strength, and my neighbor as myself, so that by keeping Your commandments I may glorify You the Giver of every good and perfect gift. Amen.

Offline Ainnir

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2018, 04:42:29 PM »
Take a breath man.  Walk humbly. Try not to be a jerk. That's not all of it, but that's a lot of it.

I might steal that.   :D
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline Volnutt

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2018, 06:30:12 PM »
Practical tip that occurred to me just now, quit prefacing things with variations on "devil's advocate." It's pleonasmic, cliche, and makes you look like a Twitter troll.

And I give this advice to myself and sundry as well.
« Last Edit: April 27, 2018, 06:31:10 PM by Volnutt »
Christ my God, set my heart on fire with love in You, that in its flame I may love You with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my soul and with all my strength, and my neighbor as myself, so that by keeping Your commandments I may glorify You the Giver of every good and perfect gift. Amen.

Offline WPM

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2018, 07:36:18 PM »
No . . It never is anything.
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Offline Thomas

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2018, 11:27:19 PM »
You asked about the ways you could improve yourself on this forum

My response  to  you would be to follow the rules of the forum  noted here to get the greatest good from this forum:

"The purpose of the Convert issues forum is to provide a place on the OC.Net where inquirers, catechumen, and newly converted could ask their questions about the Orthodox Faith in a safe and supportive forum without retribution or recrimination. Many of those posting in this area are ignorant of Orthodox teachings and are using this forum to understand what are the basic teachings and practices of the Orthodox churches. Due to the simplicity of many of their requests and responses, direct and simple answers with sources if possible are most helpful."

Thomas
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Your brother in Christ ,
Thomas

Offline Dominika

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2018, 05:46:18 AM »
^^ Amen!
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Offline Vanhyo

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2018, 07:27:42 AM »
I clearly have trouble with social interactions considering I'm not well liked by a plethora of people here. What ways can I improve myself on this forum such that my reactions in reality are better, because I have similar problems - people hating me - in real life.
you seem to imagine ghosts and conspiracies that doesnt exist.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2018, 07:29:33 AM by Vanhyo »

Offline LivenotoneviL

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2018, 09:20:03 AM »
I clearly have trouble with social interactions considering I'm not well liked by a plethora of people here. What ways can I improve myself on this forum such that my reactions in reality are better, because I have similar problems - people hating me - in real life.
you seem to imagine ghosts and conspiracies that doesnt exist.

Sure thing Mr. CIA agent who is trying to keep me asleep. You're out to get me!
« Last Edit: April 30, 2018, 09:20:18 AM by LivenotoneviL »
I'm done.

Offline Rubricnigel

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Re: What ways can I improve myself on this Forum?
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2018, 10:34:01 AM »
I clearly have trouble with social interactions considering I'm not well liked by a plethora of people here. What ways can I improve myself on this forum such that my reactions in reality are better, because I have similar problems - people hating me - in real life.

Cringy

Man, speak your mind but dont apologize for it. Be quiet if the situation calls for it, and try to not bring up religion/politics/sports unless you have too.
Who cares if you piss off some people, you cant be the doormat.

Man up, work out, disassociate yourself with dead weight and start a new hobby (cards, building, computers, models, church groups, charity)