Author Topic: Mixed marriage, kind of  (Read 735 times)

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Offline ReconciledOne

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Mixed marriage, kind of
« on: December 14, 2017, 02:13:39 PM »
Hi all,

I just joined the forum and this is my first post  :) so hi! I'm happy to be here.

I have a topic to discuss that could be a mix of a convert issue and family issue. Brief history of me, I was raised in an agnostic/Unitarian Universalist household by formerly-Christian parents who became disillusioned with organized religion. I started dating an evangelical boy in high school and largely through his influence "got saved" and became a general Evangelical Protestant (in the Southern U.S.). Even after breaking up with him I continued in Protestant zeal through college, joining organizations like Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ). Then I met my future husband, who is from Macedonia and an Orthodox Christian. He considered my zeal to be ludicrous and although he went with me once or twice to church, was creeped out by all the hand-raising during worship and the pastors who fake smile with all their teeth  :laugh: Long story short, I converted to Eastern Orthodoxy although it wasn't entirely to be able to marry him, but it just so happened that the more I explored Orthodoxy and went to liturgy with my future husband, the more I grew to love it and to see the problematic aspects of evangelical protestantism, and was chrismated in early 2015 before our marriage. Glory to God!

Now, there are some things left over from my protestant days that I am grateful to have (a passion for Bible reading, zeal, wanting to discuss theological topics, etc.) but my husband just doesn't share it. It may have something to do with the culture of religion in the region where he's from (it's often largely cultural or associated with ignorant people; people are usually very apathetic about religion) or the fact that he's an intellectual and therefore thinks there's a discrepancy between theology and rationality (although this is false). But now we are dealing with a "mixed marriage" household where one spouse is very devoted and the other is not so much. For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::) but the other part of me understands him and isn't going to force anything on him.

I have a feeling there are some people on this forum, converts or not, who can sympathize with my struggle of being in such a marriage. I hope we can share our struggles and stories of what has worked and what hasn't, in order to gently pull our spouses closer to Christ.

"If there were no tribulation, there would be no rest; if there were no winter, there would be no summer."
-Saint John Chrysostom

"Margaret the Churchwoman, her father the dissenter, Higgins the Infidel, knelt down together. It did them no harm." - Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2017, 03:18:57 PM »

Hi!  Welcome to the Forum!

Sadly, not all Orthodox Christians show much zeal and enthusiasm for their Faith.  Some people simply are born in to the Faith, and know only that which they were exposed when attending church on Sundays with their parents.  He may be embarrassed that he doesn't know as much as you.

Either way...it is a blessing to have an Orthodox spouse...even if he is lukewarm about his Faith.

Don't pressure him....just do what you do, and perhaps he will one day wish to join in on Evening Prayers....but, when you do pray them...pray them out loud.....and be sure to pray for him, as well...so, he hears you.

I pray you have a lovely, happy, and joyful marriage and both of you grow in the Faith and are instrumental in each other's salvation.
Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
—St. Isaac of Syria

Offline biro

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2017, 03:24:17 PM »
Lord have mercy.
My only weakness is, well, never mind

He said he had a horrible house
I looked in it and learnt to shut my mouth

Come back my dream into my arms, into my arms

Offline Vanhyo

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2017, 03:40:21 PM »
There is good number of orthodox who are secularized, they go to Church about 3 times in their lifetime, when they are baptized as children, when they marry and when die, to be buried.

I know many such people, they say they are baptized and that they are orthodox, they are open to you when you talk to them about God, yet they seem innerly indifferent. They don't go to Church and don't care about it and their life is entirely focused on earthly matters.

Although your husband delivered you from the protestant confusion and helped you find the truth, it seems like you will be the one taking the benefits.

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2017, 04:49:00 PM »
Welcome!

There's a verse somewhere about converting one's husband without a word.  And another about husbands and wives sanctifying each other (at least, potentially)--I'm typing off the cuff, please forgive my vague references.  It's a special kind of hard, I won't lie.  But you are yoked, and so (I'm hoping, anyway) the faith of one spouse just might drag the other spouse kicking and screaming into the Kingdom.  But if not, at least maybe we'll end up slightly pleasanter people to live with in the temporal realm (maybe--the jury's still out on me  ;)).  Pray for him, and desire to do so.  Lord have mercy on us all.
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline ReconciledOne

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2017, 05:18:59 PM »
Thanks for the welcome, everyone, and for your prayers and sympathy.

Ainnir, this is the verse you were thinking of: 1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Thanks for pointing me to that verse; I think it's one that I need to memorize and use frequently in my home. It's also good to know that I'm not alone (and someone is there to tell me I'm not crazy  ;D).



"If there were no tribulation, there would be no rest; if there were no winter, there would be no summer."
-Saint John Chrysostom

"Margaret the Churchwoman, her father the dissenter, Higgins the Infidel, knelt down together. It did them no harm." - Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2017, 05:31:01 PM »
Welcome!

There's a verse somewhere about converting one's husband without a word.  And another about husbands and wives sanctifying each other (at least, potentially)--I'm typing off the cuff, please forgive my vague references.  It's a special kind of hard, I won't lie.  But you are yoked, and so (I'm hoping, anyway) the faith of one spouse just might drag the other spouse kicking and screaming into the Kingdom.  But if not, at least maybe we'll end up slightly pleasanter people to live with in the temporal realm (maybe--the jury's still out on me  ;)).  Pray for him, and desire to do so.  Lord have mercy on us all.

ReconciledOne got your first allusion -- your second is I Cor 7, in which the Apostle writes: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. ... For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?" However, he also writes: "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."

Welcome to the forum, ReconciledOne!
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Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2017, 01:56:08 AM »
For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::)
Discussing theological topics doesn't make you Christian or Orthodox Christian, though obviously converts and especially those from the Evangelical tradition are often into it.

So you're husband's not a theologian--NBD.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2017, 01:56:46 AM by NicholasMyra »
Quote from: Fr. Thomas Hopko, dystopian parable of the prodigal son
...you can imagine so-called healing services of the pigpen. The books that could be written, you know: Life in the Pigpen. How to Cope in the Pigpen. Being Happy in the Pigpen. Surviving in the Pigpen. And then there could be counselling, for people who feel unhappy in the pigpen, to try to get them to come to terms with the pigpen, and to accept the pigpen.

Offline ReconciledOne

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2017, 05:00:18 AM »
For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::)
Discussing theological topics doesn't make you Christian or Orthodox Christian, though obviously converts and especially those from the Evangelical tradition are often into it.

So you're husband's not a theologian--NBD.

Hi NicolasMyra, when I say theological topics, I meant more talking about God/the faith generally--nothing too complex. I'm not there yet ;) He loves God, or at least nominally, but talking about Him makes him uncomfortable, it seems.
"If there were no tribulation, there would be no rest; if there were no winter, there would be no summer."
-Saint John Chrysostom

"Margaret the Churchwoman, her father the dissenter, Higgins the Infidel, knelt down together. It did them no harm." - Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South

Offline Luke

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2017, 11:33:49 AM »
If you cannot talk about faith/God generally, can you pray with him?

Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2017, 01:19:30 PM »
For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::)
Discussing theological topics doesn't make you Christian or Orthodox Christian, though obviously converts and especially those from the Evangelical tradition are often into it.

So you're husband's not a theologian--NBD.

Hi NicolasMyra, when I say theological topics, I meant more talking about God/the faith generally--nothing too complex. I'm not there yet ;) He loves God, or at least nominally, but talking about Him makes him uncomfortable, it seems.
Maybe you could give an example?
Quote from: Fr. Thomas Hopko, dystopian parable of the prodigal son
...you can imagine so-called healing services of the pigpen. The books that could be written, you know: Life in the Pigpen. How to Cope in the Pigpen. Being Happy in the Pigpen. Surviving in the Pigpen. And then there could be counselling, for people who feel unhappy in the pigpen, to try to get them to come to terms with the pigpen, and to accept the pigpen.

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2017, 02:15:28 PM »
From the information you've provided here, you're practically still just married and still getting to know each other more intimately.  Obviously, your husband doesn't live his faith out the same way that you do.  That's one of the many personal traits that spouses need to accept and respect as they closer in marriage.  Again, it's too early in the marriage to expect major adjustments to be resolved.  Live your faith patiently and lovingly and do not cultivate expectations about his faith life, for doing so is setting yourself up for anxiety and maybe resentment, and the latter is poison to a marriage.
ܩܕܝܫܐ ܐܢ̱ܬ ܠܐ ܡܝܘܬܐ

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2017, 03:31:47 PM »
Some people just need to process out loud/with words and can't, for whatever reason.  The need is legitimate, and it's a difficult situation in itself, to say nothing of any other complicating factors.  I don't know about the OP, but I experienced a huge head trip there for a while just learning Orthodoxy existed, and then learning about what it taught.  Wading through that in isolation kinda sucked.

No, if a husband isn't an academic theologian, it's not a big deal; that's not what all husbands are called to be.  However, it is certainly a big deal if a wife feels she can't connect with her husband on this deep and sensitive level.  But it doesn't have to be the end of things, hence the verses.  Though, ReconciledOne, I'd like to earnestly submit that it is not our job to figure out what will "make" our husbands want to pray with us.  Or for us.  Or at all.   God knows, though, and that's really enough.  Our job is to become more Christ-like, and that's a big enough job.  That's such a hard place to come to and to stay in, but it's really the only place we should aim to be.   :-\

Marriage is difficult regardless, and our American culture and its Christian version(s) seem too often to have a view of marriage based in idolatry and/or hedonism, instead of sacrifice and charity.  If you can, ask your priest to pray for the two of you, and (again, if you can) seek an older, spiritually mature woman to be your mentor.  I really don't recommend the isolation route.
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2017, 03:50:58 PM »
One more thing and I'll hush.  Focus on what you two do connect over, what you do have in common, and what you do appreciate about each other.  Don't let whatever you're feeling about the other stuff keep that from happening.  :)
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline ConfusedRC

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2017, 10:13:31 AM »
Hi all,

I just joined the forum and this is my first post  :) so hi! I'm happy to be here.

I have a topic to discuss that could be a mix of a convert issue and family issue. Brief history of me, I was raised in an agnostic/Unitarian Universalist household by formerly-Christian parents who became disillusioned with organized religion. I started dating an evangelical boy in high school and largely through his influence "got saved" and became a general Evangelical Protestant (in the Southern U.S.). Even after breaking up with him I continued in Protestant zeal through college, joining organizations like Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ). Then I met my future husband, who is from Macedonia and an Orthodox Christian. He considered my zeal to be ludicrous and although he went with me once or twice to church, was creeped out by all the hand-raising during worship and the pastors who fake smile with all their teeth  :laugh: Long story short, I converted to Eastern Orthodoxy although it wasn't entirely to be able to marry him, but it just so happened that the more I explored Orthodoxy and went to liturgy with my future husband, the more I grew to love it and to see the problematic aspects of evangelical protestantism, and was chrismated in early 2015 before our marriage. Glory to God!

Now, there are some things left over from my protestant days that I am grateful to have (a passion for Bible reading, zeal, wanting to discuss theological topics, etc.) but my husband just doesn't share it. It may have something to do with the culture of religion in the region where he's from (it's often largely cultural or associated with ignorant people; people are usually very apathetic about religion) or the fact that he's an intellectual and therefore thinks there's a discrepancy between theology and rationality (although this is false). But now we are dealing with a "mixed marriage" household where one spouse is very devoted and the other is not so much. For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::) but the other part of me understands him and isn't going to force anything on him.

I have a feeling there are some people on this forum, converts or not, who can sympathize with my struggle of being in such a marriage. I hope we can share our struggles and stories of what has worked and what hasn't, in order to gently pull our spouses closer to Christ.

I will pray for your husband.

Count your blessings! My wife and I married as Roman Catholics. Shortly after, I began feeling drawn to the EO. Our marriage became contentious after that. I prayed for three years and she finally agreed to let me convert. And although she is supportive, she still does not like it. Her biggest concern right now is what will happen if we move to an area with an EO church (we currently do not have one here in Hanoi). She got upset because my four year old daughter began making the sign of the cross the EO way.

Anyways, we all have our battles :)
I am no longer a "confused Roman Catholic" as I joined the Orthodox Church in April 2016.

Offline ReconciledOne

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2017, 07:55:48 AM »
Hi all,

I just joined the forum and this is my first post  :) so hi! I'm happy to be here.

I have a topic to discuss that could be a mix of a convert issue and family issue. Brief history of me, I was raised in an agnostic/Unitarian Universalist household by formerly-Christian parents who became disillusioned with organized religion. I started dating an evangelical boy in high school and largely through his influence "got saved" and became a general Evangelical Protestant (in the Southern U.S.). Even after breaking up with him I continued in Protestant zeal through college, joining organizations like Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ). Then I met my future husband, who is from Macedonia and an Orthodox Christian. He considered my zeal to be ludicrous and although he went with me once or twice to church, was creeped out by all the hand-raising during worship and the pastors who fake smile with all their teeth  :laugh: Long story short, I converted to Eastern Orthodoxy although it wasn't entirely to be able to marry him, but it just so happened that the more I explored Orthodoxy and went to liturgy with my future husband, the more I grew to love it and to see the problematic aspects of evangelical protestantism, and was chrismated in early 2015 before our marriage. Glory to God!

Now, there are some things left over from my protestant days that I am grateful to have (a passion for Bible reading, zeal, wanting to discuss theological topics, etc.) but my husband just doesn't share it. It may have something to do with the culture of religion in the region where he's from (it's often largely cultural or associated with ignorant people; people are usually very apathetic about religion) or the fact that he's an intellectual and therefore thinks there's a discrepancy between theology and rationality (although this is false). But now we are dealing with a "mixed marriage" household where one spouse is very devoted and the other is not so much. For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::) but the other part of me understands him and isn't going to force anything on him.

I have a feeling there are some people on this forum, converts or not, who can sympathize with my struggle of being in such a marriage. I hope we can share our struggles and stories of what has worked and what hasn't, in order to gently pull our spouses closer to Christ.

I will pray for your husband.

Count your blessings! My wife and I married as Roman Catholics. Shortly after, I began feeling drawn to the EO. Our marriage became contentious after that. I prayed for three years and she finally agreed to let me convert. And although she is supportive, she still does not like it. Her biggest concern right now is what will happen if we move to an area with an EO church (we currently do not have one here in Hanoi). She got upset because my four year old daughter began making the sign of the cross the EO way.

Anyways, we all have our battles :)

ConfusedRC, you are very right. It's most likely better to have an apathetic spouse who is in the same faith as you than one who is passionate but in another faith entirely. Thank you for your prayers...I will also pray for your wife.

For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::)
Discussing theological topics doesn't make you Christian or Orthodox Christian, though obviously converts and especially those from the Evangelical tradition are often into it.

So you're husband's not a theologian--NBD.

Hi NicolasMyra, when I say theological topics, I meant more talking about God/the faith generally--nothing too complex. I'm not there yet ;) He loves God, or at least nominally, but talking about Him makes him uncomfortable, it seems.
Maybe you could give an example?

It's a bizarre situation; he believes in God and says that he loves Him, but isn't interested in learning, repenting, or much of anything to do with God. He thinks of God as more like a friend whose advice you can take if you feel like it, or as a "cool guy" who is okay with sin. He hasn't read the Bible so this doesn't surprise me much. Of course, I don't know how often he prays or thinks about God as this goes on inside his head and I'm not in there  ;D

I think the advice everyone else gave here is great--be grateful for what you have (believe me, I am and love him with all my being), be patient, prayerful, and provide an example without forcing...all great advice.



No, if a husband isn't an academic theologian, it's not a big deal; that's not what all husbands are called to be.  However, it is certainly a big deal if a wife feels she can't connect with her husband on this deep and sensitive level.  But it doesn't have to be the end of things, hence the verses.  Though, ReconciledOne, I'd like to earnestly submit that it is not our job to figure out what will "make" our husbands want to pray with us.  Or for us.  Or at all.   God knows, though, and that's really enough.  Our job is to become more Christ-like, and that's a big enough job.  That's such a hard place to come to and to stay in, but it's really the only place we should aim to be.   :-\


I appreciate your sympathy and advice--it's good to have a focus-only on Christ rather than those around us.

I guess coming from a Protestant background on this idea, where people, especially women, were urged not to be unequally yoked when choosing a mate, this subject is touchy for me. I'm only just beginning to see how much those mindsets changed my view of the world, now that I'm outside of them, and in Orthodoxy.

Sorry for the long post :)
"If there were no tribulation, there would be no rest; if there were no winter, there would be no summer."
-Saint John Chrysostom

"Margaret the Churchwoman, her father the dissenter, Higgins the Infidel, knelt down together. It did them no harm." - Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South

Offline biro

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #16 on: December 18, 2017, 08:55:01 AM »
Lord have mercy.
My only weakness is, well, never mind

He said he had a horrible house
I looked in it and learnt to shut my mouth

Come back my dream into my arms, into my arms

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #17 on: December 18, 2017, 01:57:29 PM »
Hi all,

I just joined the forum and this is my first post  :) so hi! I'm happy to be here.

I have a topic to discuss that could be a mix of a convert issue and family issue. Brief history of me, I was raised in an agnostic/Unitarian Universalist household by formerly-Christian parents who became disillusioned with organized religion. I started dating an evangelical boy in high school and largely through his influence "got saved" and became a general Evangelical Protestant (in the Southern U.S.). Even after breaking up with him I continued in Protestant zeal through college, joining organizations like Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ). Then I met my future husband, who is from Macedonia and an Orthodox Christian. He considered my zeal to be ludicrous and although he went with me once or twice to church, was creeped out by all the hand-raising during worship and the pastors who fake smile with all their teeth  :laugh: Long story short, I converted to Eastern Orthodoxy although it wasn't entirely to be able to marry him, but it just so happened that the more I explored Orthodoxy and went to liturgy with my future husband, the more I grew to love it and to see the problematic aspects of evangelical protestantism, and was chrismated in early 2015 before our marriage. Glory to God!

Now, there are some things left over from my protestant days that I am grateful to have (a passion for Bible reading, zeal, wanting to discuss theological topics, etc.) but my husband just doesn't share it. It may have something to do with the culture of religion in the region where he's from (it's often largely cultural or associated with ignorant people; people are usually very apathetic about religion) or the fact that he's an intellectual and therefore thinks there's a discrepancy between theology and rationality (although this is false). But now we are dealing with a "mixed marriage" household where one spouse is very devoted and the other is not so much. For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::) but the other part of me understands him and isn't going to force anything on him.

I have a feeling there are some people on this forum, converts or not, who can sympathize with my struggle of being in such a marriage. I hope we can share our struggles and stories of what has worked and what hasn't, in order to gently pull our spouses closer to Christ.

I will pray for your husband.

Count your blessings! My wife and I married as Roman Catholics. Shortly after, I began feeling drawn to the EO. Our marriage became contentious after that. I prayed for three years and she finally agreed to let me convert. And although she is supportive, she still does not like it. Her biggest concern right now is what will happen if we move to an area with an EO church (we currently do not have one here in Hanoi). She got upset because my four year old daughter began making the sign of the cross the EO way.

Anyways, we all have our battles :)

ConfusedRC, you are very right. It's most likely better to have an apathetic spouse who is in the same faith as you than one who is passionate but in another faith entirely. Thank you for your prayers...I will also pray for your wife.

For example, he doesn't want to pray with me or discuss theological topics. Part of me is like, hey, I converted partly for you and now you're gonna be apathetic about it!  ::)
Discussing theological topics doesn't make you Christian or Orthodox Christian, though obviously converts and especially those from the Evangelical tradition are often into it.

So you're husband's not a theologian--NBD.

Hi NicolasMyra, when I say theological topics, I meant more talking about God/the faith generally--nothing too complex. I'm not there yet ;) He loves God, or at least nominally, but talking about Him makes him uncomfortable, it seems.
Maybe you could give an example?

It's a bizarre situation; he believes in God and says that he loves Him, but isn't interested in learning, repenting, or much of anything to do with God. He thinks of God as more like a friend whose advice you can take if you feel like it, or as a "cool guy" who is okay with sin. He hasn't read the Bible so this doesn't surprise me much. Of course, I don't know how often he prays or thinks about God as this goes on inside his head and I'm not in there  ;D

I think the advice everyone else gave here is great--be grateful for what you have (believe me, I am and love him with all my being), be patient, prayerful, and provide an example without forcing...all great advice.



No, if a husband isn't an academic theologian, it's not a big deal; that's not what all husbands are called to be.  However, it is certainly a big deal if a wife feels she can't connect with her husband on this deep and sensitive level.  But it doesn't have to be the end of things, hence the verses.  Though, ReconciledOne, I'd like to earnestly submit that it is not our job to figure out what will "make" our husbands want to pray with us.  Or for us.  Or at all.   God knows, though, and that's really enough.  Our job is to become more Christ-like, and that's a big enough job.  That's such a hard place to come to and to stay in, but it's really the only place we should aim to be.   :-\


I appreciate your sympathy and advice--it's good to have a focus-only on Christ rather than those around us.

I guess coming from a Protestant background on this idea, where people, especially women, were urged not to be unequally yoked when choosing a mate, this subject is touchy for me. I'm only just beginning to see how much those mindsets changed my view of the world, now that I'm outside of them, and in Orthodoxy.

Sorry for the long post :)

We hold that precept too, but, and correct me if I'm wrong, you're already married so the yoke is already in place.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

Quote from: Seekingtrue
Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #18 on: December 19, 2017, 01:49:21 AM »
It's a bizarre situation; he believes in God and says that he loves Him, but isn't interested in learning, repenting, or much of anything to do with God. He thinks of God as more like a friend whose advice you can take if you feel like it, or as a "cool guy" who is okay with sin. He hasn't read the Bible so this doesn't surprise me much. Of course, I don't know how often he prays or thinks about God as this goes on inside his head and I'm not in there  ;D

Repenting?

Maybe he doesn't know how to answer the questions you ask him about God. I think most Christians throughout time wouldn't, either.

Here is a thought. You could try praying a written prayer peacefully before bed, in the presence of your husband. Don't ask him to do anything, and don't make a fuss about it. Make sure it isn't written in antiquated english, if it is, update the words. The key is not to be intentional, or smarmy, expectant, or dramatic. Just make it a matter of fact part of your night.

« Last Edit: December 19, 2017, 01:50:01 AM by NicholasMyra »
Quote from: Fr. Thomas Hopko, dystopian parable of the prodigal son
...you can imagine so-called healing services of the pigpen. The books that could be written, you know: Life in the Pigpen. How to Cope in the Pigpen. Being Happy in the Pigpen. Surviving in the Pigpen. And then there could be counselling, for people who feel unhappy in the pigpen, to try to get them to come to terms with the pigpen, and to accept the pigpen.

Offline pasadi97

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Re: Mixed marriage, kind of
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2018, 08:20:27 AM »
Pray for your husband.
Go to church and make prayer requests at Liturgy for our husband,
Ask priests to pray for your husband. Make prayer requests at monasteries.
Find a homeless person and give him food and ask him to pray for your husband as prayers of poor have power.
These prayers should be especially for the salv ation of you and your husband.
Change of hearts is above power of rationalisation and above the power of people but it is in the power of God.
God the Father is great. God the Father is good.