Author Topic: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father  (Read 553 times)

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Offline Velsigne

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A State College adoption agency has been sued for more than $1 million by a man who said in a complaint that Bethany Christian Services interfered with his constitutional right to custody of his child.

The lawsuit, filed Wednesday, said the child’s mother relinquished her parental rights to place the baby up for adoption. Bethany Christian Services placed the child, born in August 2015, with a pre-adoptive married couple in York County.

The lawsuit said the man was notified of the mother’s pregnancy, the child and the pending adoption about six weeks after the birth. It also states that the adoption agency allegedly tried to inform him a week before the birth through Facebook, despite having knowledge of the mother’s intention to give up the child for about four months.....

...The suit alleges that “Bethany knowingly, voluntarily and tortiously interfered” with the man’s parental rights by refusing his requests for custody of the child and to visit the child on all but one occasion. The suit also claimed that Bethany Christian Services provided the man with false information about the pre-adoptive parents, would not provide information about the child’s whereabouts and refused to facilitate a paternity test....




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Offline IreneOlinyk

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2017, 05:19:10 PM »
I am going to pick up this book from the Public Library on Monday.

https://www.amazon.ca/Child-Catchers-Rescue-Trafficking-Adoption/dp/1586489429

the Bethany Christian Services is one of the Evangelical adoption agencies with questionable methods is mentioned.

Offline Quinault

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2017, 06:37:02 PM »
My sister and brother in law adopted a child thru Bethany a few years ago. The child was concieved via an affair and the "couple" had no desire to stay together and raise the child. I think that my other brother in law and his (now ex) wife adopted some twins thru them as well. The paperwork had a divorce clause of some sort, so when their marriage fell apart a couple months after placement they had to return the boys.

I am an advocate of adoption for many reasons, but sometimes it seems like the agencies are more focused on the business and revenue than anything else. On the otherhand, I am completely against surrogacy; fertility treatments are not without risk. My in-laws know a woman that nearly died carrying twins as a surrogate (I think she had an amniotic aneurysm?), and now is incapable of having children of her own. There is no amount of payment or altruism that would make it justifiable for a healthy woman losing (or nearly losing) her life because a couple wants a child with their genetics.

Offline Velsigne

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2017, 02:44:47 PM »
My sister and brother in law adopted a child thru Bethany a few years ago. The child was concieved via an affair and the "couple" had no desire to stay together and raise the child. I think that my other brother in law and his (now ex) wife adopted some twins thru them as well. The paperwork had a divorce clause of some sort, so when their marriage fell apart a couple months after placement they had to return the boys.

I am an advocate of adoption for many reasons, but sometimes it seems like the agencies are more focused on the business and revenue than anything else. On the otherhand, I am completely against surrogacy; fertility treatments are not without risk. My in-laws know a woman that nearly died carrying twins as a surrogate (I think she had an amniotic aneurysm?), and now is incapable of having children of her own. There is no amount of payment or altruism that would make it justifiable for a healthy woman losing (or nearly losing) her life because a couple wants a child with their genetics.

Adoption should be the very last resort for a child.  Every effort should be made to contact the father and other kin to the child. 

Adoption should never include erasing the identity of a child so that adoptive parents can play make believe games with a child from another family.

Adoptees should have full legal rights to identity and original papers as every other citizen of the United States of America has.  Some adoptees cannot obtain a passport for travel because their documents are so messed up from these agencies.  Some international adoptees are deported as adults because they never gain citizenship in the country they are raised in.  They are deported to a foreign country and don't speak the language, understand the culture, or have any means of surviving there.

The Adoption industry as it is caters to prospective parents who want to buy a child either from 1) infertility 2) to replace a dead child

An adopted child should never be expected to fulfill those dreamland expectations.  Every child is a unique individual who carries forward their ancestors into this world and should be respected and treated as such. 

The Adoption industry is only interested in primarily the mother of the child as she is the supplier of the commodity.  Afterward, she is forgotten and relegated to the side.  Her identity is changed from "mother" to "birth mother" or some such term. 

Once those children are paid for and placed, there is no follow up from the agency.  They do not cover the cost of mental health care for these children or check on them to see if they are being neglected or abused.  There is a 50% greater chance that an adopted child will be abused or killed in an adoptive home.   See the current trial in the UK Matthew Scully Hicks, gay couple murders an 18 month old child within weeks of final papers being delivered to them.  This is far more common than people realize.

The Adoption industry has absolutely no interest in assisting mothers / fathers to keep their children.  Like suicide, they are most interested in finding a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Adoptees have a 4x greater chance of committing suicide.  They are far over-represented in drug and alcohol / addiction services. 

Now they now that babies DO know the difference between people and DO register abandonment even as an infant. 

Adoptive parents who pay $40k for a white baby could just as easily use that same money to help a parent to keep their home intact.  That would be true altruism. 

Most of the time they aren't "saving" anyone but rather fulfilling their own needs. 

[urlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pX4C-mtiI]Lecture on Adoption by Paul Sunderland--YouTube[/url]
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Online Asteriktos

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2017, 02:51:12 PM »
Counterpoint: some people are [crap] parents and the kids are unquestionably better off with other people

Offline Velsigne

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2017, 06:00:41 PM »
Yes. And those are the rare last resort cases.   That doesn't make ALL the other trauma endured by children, their parents and their extended family acceptable because some parents are lousy.  The little girl who was murdered by Matthew Scully Hicks was the daughter of a drug addict.  Drug addiction is not a permanent state.  Her child was likely forcibly taken from her by state authorities.  In the UK they can take your child if you are depressed. 

Some lousy parents merely need support and training to improve their parenting skills.  A small minority of parents will never be a fit parent due to extreme reasons. 

The counterpoint you make does not resolve the tremendous amount of trauma and grief endured by families, trauma that is ignored for the rosy picture of the saintly adoptive family gaining a child and bravely going forth to make the world a better place.

Adoption is always always always based in loss for the child. 

The second highest rate of forced removal of children from families that want them is the UK.  The United States is numero uno.

The Federal Government of the USA pays the states cash for the number of children taken from foster care and adopted out.  The states now fight with each other to adopt children out of foster care to unrelated people within their state border to keep the Federal money.  The states are also motivated to fast track children from foster care to permanent removal from their family so they can be adopted out. 

This is a big money game, and Christians are participating and perpetuating it. 

Exposure - Please Don't Take My Child (Forced Adoption Exposed)-Youtube

And here is the working link for the Sunderland video: 
Lecture on Adoption by Paul Sunderland--YouTube

A nation is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground.

Then it is done, no matter how brave its warriors nor how strong their weapons -- Cheyenne proverb

Offline Quinault

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2017, 10:22:54 PM »
Foster to adopt children (at least in my state) have mental health coverage after adoption.

Whether kids do better away from their parents is a little up for debate actually. There is of course a valid argument for taking kids that are severely abused (who's health and life is at risk) and finding them a new home. There is some evidence that leaving kids with parents that aren't so great, but not exactly dangerous is better. The clincher is teaching those parents to be good parents. The best alternative to parents raising their children is other family members raising children. The familial bond can't be replaced. This issue is even more important for children of natives in my opinion. No one is accepted as native without an accompanying tribal identity. You can't say "I'm native" without immediately being asked "Which tribe?" You also rarely hear people merely say "I'm native" without following it up with a specific tribal identity. Native is as ubiquitous as European.

Offline Quinault

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2017, 11:31:49 PM »
There are people out there that are choosing to put their babies up for adoption over abortion, and I could never have a problem with that. Ideally, birth parents will have some involvement with their children. Yet, I can completely understand why that would be too painful for both parties early on. One beautiful story I read was about a teenage girl that not only put her child up for adoption, she pumped and sent breastmilk to that child for months afterward:

https://www.today.com/parents/teen-mom-sends-breast-milk-baby-she-gave-adoption-t1066

https://www.today.com/series/2015-voices/kaleena-pysher-reflects-pumping-breast-milk-baby-she-placed-adoption-t62241
« Last Edit: October 22, 2017, 11:35:49 PM by Quinault »

Offline Velsigne

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2017, 01:26:46 PM »
There are people out there that are choosing to put their babies up for adoption over abortion, and I could never have a problem with that. Ideally, birth parents will have some involvement with their children. Yet, I can completely understand why that would be too painful for both parties early on. One beautiful story I read was about a teenage girl that not only put her child up for adoption, she pumped and sent breastmilk to that child for months afterward:

https://www.today.com/parents/teen-mom-sends-breast-milk-baby-she-gave-adoption-t1066

https://www.today.com/series/2015-voices/kaleena-pysher-reflects-pumping-breast-milk-baby-she-placed-adoption-t62241

While I appreciate your sentiment, it is not accurate to frame this issue as a abortion or adoption debate.  Adoptees are frequently told to be grateful for being adopted, because, after all, they could have been an abortion. 

But really, anyone could be an abortion or left in a dumpster.  Adoption is a parenting choice.  One party in the triad has absolutely no say in the matter.

That abortion meme is part of the fuel behind the Evangelical push on congregants to adopt, even if people aren't inclined to want to adopt a child, they get pressure to do it. 

And its silly when the average amount of money to get a young mother or father, or even an older mother or father who is overwhelmed with the children they have, stabilized and secure enough to parent her own child is so small compared to the cost of dragging children through all this trauma.

In any case, one should ask themselves why these adoptive parents feel the need to obliterate the identities of adopted children and stamp them with a new identity.

I would argue it is the idea of ownership of children and the desire to pretend like they have a family like others who can conceive and bear their own children. 

Not healthy.  They can't have a normal family, and they need to grieve their own loss before they try to take on children.  Adopted children cannot be the same as a biological child.   Any honest parent who has both can state this uncomfortable for so many who buy into adoption myths truth.

I have a cousin on a DNA site who is related to me on Native lines.  Her tree attached to her profile was all white people from mid-western states.  I queried the administrator of the kit to ask if perhaps there was a mistake in attaching the tree to the profile.  The administrator turned out to be the adoptive mother of this girl, and said, "No mistake, she is our adopted daughter from the Reservation". 

That level of denial is delusional and makes me fear for that child.  It is, after all, a DNA genealogy site.


« Last Edit: October 23, 2017, 01:38:32 PM by Velsigne »
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Offline Velsigne

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2017, 01:51:45 PM »
There are people out there that are choosing to put their babies up for adoption over abortion, and I could never have a problem with that. Ideally, birth parents will have some involvement with their children. Yet, I can completely understand why that would be too painful for both parties early on. One beautiful story I read was about a teenage girl that not only put her child up for adoption, she pumped and sent breastmilk to that child for months afterward:

https://www.today.com/parents/teen-mom-sends-breast-milk-baby-she-gave-adoption-t1066

https://www.today.com/series/2015-voices/kaleena-pysher-reflects-pumping-breast-milk-baby-she-placed-adoption-t62241

The other danger about these glowing stories is that they gloss over what really happens to an infant when removed from the parent. 

These promotional stories also hide the fact that even in this new open adoption era, parents are not given honest legal advice about their rights. 

A lot of open adoptions are later closed by the adoptive parents once they get what they want--someone else's child.   The parents are not told that when the adoptive parent suddenly closes all contact with the parent, there is no real legal recourse.

Now we occasionally see the stories of mothers demanding payments prior to delivery then after delivery leaving with their child.  They have just turned a predatory system on itself and used it to keep a family intact.   Fact is, mothers are often coerced to give up a child. 

They use every bit of emotional, mental, financial leverage they can to convince that mother that it is better for everyone that she give that child up.  She gets to be a hero and a saint.  We are supposed to feel so sorry for infertile people who are banking on taking someone else's child to fill a void in themselves.  People rush to condemn a mother who changes her mind and opts to keep her child because she disappointed an infertile couple.  They actually allow the mothers to get to know the couple so she will have more sympathy for them and their plight and go against her own flesh and blood to give them what they want--her baby.

This is a sick picture of predatory and abusive behavior and it is still very prevalent in this current day.
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Offline Quinault

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2017, 03:11:47 PM »
You seem to think all adoption is wrong. While I do think that it has essentially become sanctioned human trafficking in some areas, I can't believe that all adoption is wrong. The abortion or adoption argument isn't invalid, I've personally known *numerous* women that chose between abortion or adoption because they were not able to care for their children. If more women that were carrying children with birth defects decided to put that child up for adoption rather than abort, we'd see a decrease in abortion. There are people out there that would be happy to adopt and raise a special needs child. I know of at least one Orthodox family that does this.

Offline Velsigne

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2017, 03:32:17 PM »
You seem to think all adoption is wrong. While I do think that it has essentially become sanctioned human trafficking in some areas, I can't believe that all adoption is wrong. The abortion or adoption argument isn't invalid, I've personally known *numerous* women that chose between abortion or adoption because they were not able to care for their children. If more women that were carrying children with birth defects decided to put that child up for adoption rather than abort, we'd see a decrease in abortion. There are people out there that would be happy to adopt and raise a special needs child. I know of at least one Orthodox family that does this.

Adoption as it is practiced today is wrong for the reasons I've outlined above.   Glad you recognize trafficking when you see it.  Most people don't because of the big adoption myth that the industry has built up around itself. 

There are cases where children need homes.  Providing a home to a child should not entail erasing everything about that child and trying to force them into a mold to suit adoptive parents' needs. 

Those special needs kids are big money makers too.  Those parents get money to compensate them for caring for that child. 

Have you ever asked yourself, if they can pay adoptive parents to take in children, why can't they pay a vulnerable young woman to get a start out in life and keep her child? 

I would also posit, that every child taken from its mother becomes a special needs child.  It is a clear trauma that the industry and pro adoption do not want to admit.  Nor do agencies provide any support for the adoptive parents and children--that would cut into profits--as would giving them fair warning of what can happen with adopted children, how much they can suffer despite their best intentions. 


If all abortion were to suddenly stop we would end up like Romania.   The system is already broken.  Throwing thousands more children on it every month isn't going to help anyone. 

Interestingly, one of the things Emperor Constantine did was make a special effort to help families to keep their children by supplementing them with food and money.  He saw a clear cause of people exposing children--poverty.   In this country, we take their children and sell them at market. 
« Last Edit: October 23, 2017, 03:39:01 PM by Velsigne »
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Offline Quinault

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2017, 03:35:32 PM »
Dude, I'm *agreeing* with you regarding the evils adoption (specifically native adoption) and you're arguing with me. Maybe you need to take a few yard long steps back and cool down a bit. Ideally parents raise their children, and if they need help they get it so they can be good parents. Second preference is that family will raise the children so the children can still have a sense of familial identity. Thereafter adoption by a loving family is a good option, and is certainly better than street urchins (just watch the documentaries on Romanian street children sometime).

Offline Quinault

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2017, 03:43:07 PM »
The majority of the time child services will try to help a family stay intact with various resources. Sometimes this means monthly visits for years to make sure the parents are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Sometimes this means monitored visitation. They try very hard, and then someone like Josh Powell comes along and everyone is outraged that they dared attempt to reunite a family. Then there are other branches that were being a little too lenient that will tighten up and overreact to minor issues and remove children for no reason whatsoever in order to avoid something similar happening under their watch. The system is very uneven, and it needs reform; but that is an exceedingly complex issue to tackle.

Link to Josh Powelll story:
http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/05/us/washington-powell-explosion/index.html

Offline Velsigne

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2017, 03:50:50 PM »
Dude, I'm *agreeing* with you regarding the evils adoption (specifically native adoption) and you're arguing with me. Maybe you need to take a few yard long steps back and cool down a bit. Ideally parents raise their children, and if they need help they get it so they can be good parents. Second preference is that family will raise the children so the children can still have a sense of familial identity. Thereafter adoption by a loving family is a good option, and is certainly better than street urchins (just watch the documentaries on Romanian street children sometime).

I am not a dude.  I am not angry.  I am simply writing what is clear to me and gets glossed over by Christian groups.

I am glad we agree.  I am highlighting areas that are obscured by moneyed interest and covered up in supposed religious virtue in a Christian news thread.

I advocate changing the paradigm and removing capital interest from the picture.  I advocate that Evangelical groups begin to listen to the totality of those most affected by adoption, the adoptees themselves, and not just the ones who are still fogged in and have never fully dealt with how adoption has affected their lives. 

Stacks of people whose bread and butter is supplied on childhood suffering is not moral or acceptable, but that is what the foster system has become is and by and large what the adoption industry is.   There are very very few foster agencies who have actually made improvements that cause the amount of children in care to go down.  Typically they need to ever expand to provide social workers with jobs. 
A nation is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground.

Then it is done, no matter how brave its warriors nor how strong their weapons -- Cheyenne proverb

Offline Velsigne

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #15 on: October 23, 2017, 03:54:13 PM »
The majority of the time child services will try to help a family stay intact with various resources. Sometimes this means monthly visits for years to make sure the parents are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Sometimes this means monitored visitation. They try very hard, and then someone like Josh Powell comes along and everyone is outraged that they dared attempt to reunite a family. Then there are other branches that were being a little too lenient that will tighten up and overreact to minor issues and remove children for no reason whatsoever in order to avoid something similar happening under their watch. The system is very uneven, and it needs reform; but that is an exceedingly complex issue to tackle.

Link to Josh Powelll story:
http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/05/us/washington-powell-explosion/index.html

Yep media driven outrage makes for poor family welfare policies.
A nation is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground.

Then it is done, no matter how brave its warriors nor how strong their weapons -- Cheyenne proverb

Offline IreneOlinyk

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Re: Adoption Agency / Bethany Christian Services Sued for $1m by Father
« Reply #16 on: October 25, 2017, 08:11:35 PM »
This is an example of an adoption gone wrong to a couple who were part of Fundamentalist Protestant group and also home-schooled their children adding to the isolation of the adopted child:

Quote
A 14-year-old girl was imprisoned, starved, and sexually abused by her adoptive parents, Alan and Aimee Friz (pictured). The girl and her siblings were homeschooled.

The girl and one of her siblings were adopted from the Ukraine; the Frizes later had eight additional biological children and Aimee Friz was pregnant when she was arrested. Alan Friz was a dentist and the Frizes were “respected and well-loved” members of Covenant Reformed Church in Evansville, Indiana; according to their minister they had “a very definite 19th century value system”. ...Beginning at least a year before his arrest, Alan Friz sexually molested the girl, apparently with the knowledge of Aimee Friz. In September 2017, after the girl allegedly made threats of violence against Aimee, the Frizes began locking the girl in a closet at night without access to food, water, or bathroom facilities. The closet “was fastened with a padlock and chain” and had a sign labeling it as the girl’s “cage”.
 Date: October 4, 2017
Location: Huntingburg, Indiana


http://hsinvisiblechildren.org/2017/10/17/daughter-of-alan-and-aimee-friz/

I mentioned that I am currently reading this book:  The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption which discusses the serious problems and abuse by Evangelical Adoption agencies and Protestants involved in the Patriarchal or Quiversful who homeschool all their children.