Author Topic: Orthodox Preppers  (Read 381 times)

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Offline mcarmichael

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Orthodox Preppers
« on: September 11, 2017, 01:28:23 AM »
What is the best way to store cigarettes? Anyone?

Does anyone else ever feel like these people who purchase 7-eleven franchises are the ultimate doomsday preppers?

Like I suppose that some of them are dutiful husbands or wives, but the majority of them are only in it for the windfall tobacco supply, imho. Anyone else?
« Last Edit: September 11, 2017, 01:45:26 AM by mcarmichael »
"Now, don't allow yourself to be fatigued beyond your powers; there's a amiable bein'.
Consider what you owe to society, and don't let yourself be injured by too much work.
For the sake o' your feller-creeturs, keep yourself as quiet as you can; only think what a loss you would be!"
- The very memorable words of Samuel Veller

"Mouth make trouble, mouth make no trouble." - Sun Tzu

"Physician, heal thyself." - Ancient proverb

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2017, 09:20:38 PM »
Dip them in wax to waterproof them.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline servulus

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2017, 09:54:16 PM »
What is the best way to store cigarettes? Anyone?

Does anyone else ever feel like these people who purchase 7-eleven franchises are the ultimate doomsday preppers?

Like I suppose that some of them are dutiful husbands or wives, but the majority of them are only in it for the windfall tobacco supply, imho. Anyone else?
Store them in the freezer.

Offline Asteriktos

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2017, 01:32:32 AM »
What is the best way to store cigarettes? Anyone?

Put them in bushels of grain. I know that sounds crazy, but the logic of it is actually quite straight forward and intuit. You are aware, I assume, that ancient beasts like dinosaurs and flies and beetle-bugs got preserved in amber, such that they can be resurrected even today (provided the right scientists are involved)? And have you also heard of that American song which includes the line "amber waves of grain"? So what does that tell you, except that grain can cause waves of amber. Put it all together and: cigs in grain with be amberized mystically, thus preserving them for tens or hundreds of millions of years if need be. You want a second proof? Acceptable. Consider the ancient maxim, largely forgotten in these lowly times, 'like attracts like.' Now what could be more like tobacco than grain? Exactly. Nothing.
"The bed is too short to stretch out on, the blanket too narrow to wrap around you." (Isa. 28:20)

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2017, 02:47:18 AM »
Everytime you're finishing a pack, store one or two in a separate box and go buy more. When you need them the most, but can't buy extra packs, you'll still have many spare cigarettes.
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Offline Volnutt

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2017, 12:33:17 AM »
What is the best way to store cigarettes? Anyone?

Put them in bushels of grain. I know that sounds crazy, but the logic of it is actually quite straight forward and intuit. You are aware, I assume, that ancient beasts like dinosaurs and flies and beetle-bugs got preserved in amber, such that they can be resurrected even today (provided the right scientists are involved)? And have you also heard of that American song which includes the line "amber waves of grain"? So what does that tell you, except that grain can cause waves of amber. Put it all together and: cigs in grain with be amberized mystically, thus preserving them for tens or hundreds of millions of years if need be. You want a second proof? Acceptable. Consider the ancient maxim, largely forgotten in these lowly times, 'like attracts like.' Now what could be more like tobacco than grain? Exactly. Nothing.

As Scott Alexander would say, the Kabbalistic implications are immense.


But seriously, your wit is one of the things I really missed about reading this board, *
« Last Edit: September 23, 2017, 12:33:46 AM by Volnutt »
Is that what they teach you at the temple volnutt-stein?

Actually, it's Volnutt-berg.

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Offline mcarmichael

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2017, 05:53:21 PM »
How does everybody feel about cigars? too much work, maintaining a humidor, right?
"Now, don't allow yourself to be fatigued beyond your powers; there's a amiable bein'.
Consider what you owe to society, and don't let yourself be injured by too much work.
For the sake o' your feller-creeturs, keep yourself as quiet as you can; only think what a loss you would be!"
- The very memorable words of Samuel Veller

"Mouth make trouble, mouth make no trouble." - Sun Tzu

"Physician, heal thyself." - Ancient proverb

Offline hecma925

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2017, 07:57:53 PM »
Cigars are chock-full of vitamins.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline Luke

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2017, 10:29:09 PM »
How does everybody feel about cigars? too much work, maintaining a humidor, right?


Offline Volnutt

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2017, 02:05:59 AM »
Some would argue that CP-ing a stock photo without paying (and hence getting free of the watermarks) is akin to theft, ya know.
Is that what they teach you at the temple volnutt-stein?

Actually, it's Volnutt-berg.

Rome doesn't care. Rome is actually very cool guy.

Offline mcarmichael

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2017, 12:11:20 AM »
Some would argue that CP-ing a stock photo without paying (and hence getting free of the watermarks) is akin to theft, ya know.
Others would look at them askance, thinking "Who is this guy?" to themselves.
"Now, don't allow yourself to be fatigued beyond your powers; there's a amiable bein'.
Consider what you owe to society, and don't let yourself be injured by too much work.
For the sake o' your feller-creeturs, keep yourself as quiet as you can; only think what a loss you would be!"
- The very memorable words of Samuel Veller

"Mouth make trouble, mouth make no trouble." - Sun Tzu

"Physician, heal thyself." - Ancient proverb

Offline Asteriktos

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2017, 12:20:02 AM »
"The bed is too short to stretch out on, the blanket too narrow to wrap around you." (Isa. 28:20)

Offline mcarmichael

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Re: Orthodox Preppers
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2017, 12:26:11 AM »
I guess people in North America feel like beans are so utterly inexpensive that they may as well be free, so why stock-up, huh?

Because dry beans have got to be even better than cigarettes, because you could literally feed a whole family with one bag of beans. Except dry beans are so cheap that the thought has got to occur to you that there may not be a lot of demand for dry beans, and it may be a better idea to have and not want than vice-versa (to want and not have).

By the way, I know a guy who makes what I understand are some pretty good water filters, I think they fit in a 5-gallon bucket, or something like that. I'm going to try to procure one from him, and I'll follow-up here.

Thanks for your patience.
"Now, don't allow yourself to be fatigued beyond your powers; there's a amiable bein'.
Consider what you owe to society, and don't let yourself be injured by too much work.
For the sake o' your feller-creeturs, keep yourself as quiet as you can; only think what a loss you would be!"
- The very memorable words of Samuel Veller

"Mouth make trouble, mouth make no trouble." - Sun Tzu

"Physician, heal thyself." - Ancient proverb