Author Topic: I’ve spent 30 years counseling priests who fall in love. Here’s what I learned.  (Read 1027 times)

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Offline Mor Ephrem

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For Catholic priests, love plays a major professional role. They talk endlessly about the love of God, love for God, God's love of man, love of neighbor, even love of self, albeit this last one at times disparagingly. The one that lights them up the most, however, is their love of the priesthood, something every priest I know feels deeply.

But the actual mechanics of love between two humans — the many powerful and often conflicted feeling that arise — create problems that are very challenging and deeply personal.

I am a psychologist, and I have spent much of the past three decades dealing with those kinds of problems. The kinds that compel priests' superiors to send them off for treatment at a facility dedicated to priests. The sample with which I am familiar is biased — it only includes those priests whose behavior has been called into question, and it does not include those involved with minors.

http://www.vox.com/2016/4/7/11325336/priests-love-therapy
I think you can say ~ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and post with charitable and prayerful intentions.

Offline RaphaCam

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The cases he mentions are nauseating. I feel almost OK with my own immoralities.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2016, 08:32:26 PM by RaphaCam »
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Offline wgw

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Forgive me, but I just dont believe there are enough men cut out for holy celibacy to meet the needs of the Latin Rite priesthood.  This does not mean I am opposed to celibate priests even outside of a monastic setting, I simply feel that the Latin Rite would be healthier if the priesthood were open to married men following Orthodox / Eastern Catholic standards.

Now I have come across arguments that married priests are more expensive than secular priests in terms of salary and benefits for obvious reasons, amd the Catholics have relatively speaking a somewaht high ratio of priests to laity.  This might well be the case; I would propose offsetting the increased cost by increasing the number of sacred ministers who can lead the divine office, and replacing the multiple masses on Saturdays and Sundays with the divine office, so a typical parish would only need one priest at most; also, if secular celibate priests are cheaper than their married counterparts, regular priests are cheaper still, especially when they live together; so for large parishes that do need multiple priests, use canons regular.  Just my thoughts.

I have a lot of thoughts about Roman Catholicism.  There is so much beauty there, yet in nearly all areas of their ecclesia, they continue to make and defend very bad decisions; there are some very good RC bishops, but on the whole the RCC is just so poorly run these days it makes me deeply unhappy; they are vital to Christendom. amd their restoration to Orthodoxy either in their current form or through a Western Rite Orthodox Pope of Rome I believe is esseential to the future of the Church.
Axios and many years to you, Fr. Trenham!

Offline FinnJames

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Forgive me, but I just dont believe there are enough men cut out for holy celibacy to meet the needs of the Latin Rite priesthood.  This does not mean I am opposed to celibate priests even outside of a monastic setting, I simply feel that the Latin Rite would be healthier if the priesthood were open to married men following Orthodox / Eastern Catholic standards.

Now I have come across arguments that married priests are more expensive than secular priests in terms of salary and benefits for obvious reasons, amd the Catholics have relatively speaking a somewaht high ratio of priests to laity.  This might well be the case; I would propose offsetting the increased cost by increasing the number of sacred ministers who can lead the divine office, and replacing the multiple masses on Saturdays and Sundays with the divine office, so a typical parish would only need one priest at most; also, if secular celibate priests are cheaper than their married counterparts, regular priests are cheaper still, especially when they live together; so for large parishes that do need multiple priests, use canons regular.  Just my thoughts.

I have a lot of thoughts about Roman Catholicism.  There is so much beauty there, yet in nearly all areas of their ecclesia, they continue to make and defend very bad decisions; there are some very good RC bishops, but on the whole the RCC is just so poorly run these days it makes me deeply unhappy; they are vital to Christendom. amd their restoration to Orthodoxy either in their current form or through a Western Rite Orthodox Pope of Rome I believe is esseential to the future of the Church.

Never thought I'd see wgw come out in favour of gay marriage--and for clergy at that!  ;)

Offline wgw

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Forgive me, but I just dont believe there are enough men cut out for holy celibacy to meet the needs of the Latin Rite priesthood.  This does not mean I am opposed to celibate priests even outside of a monastic setting, I simply feel that the Latin Rite would be healthier if the priesthood were open to married men following Orthodox / Eastern Catholic standards.

Now I have come across arguments that married priests are more expensive than secular priests in terms of salary and benefits for obvious reasons, amd the Catholics have relatively speaking a somewaht high ratio of priests to laity.  This might well be the case; I would propose offsetting the increased cost by increasing the number of sacred ministers who can lead the divine office, and replacing the multiple masses on Saturdays and Sundays with the divine office, so a typical parish would only need one priest at most; also, if secular celibate priests are cheaper than their married counterparts, regular priests are cheaper still, especially when they live together; so for large parishes that do need multiple priests, use canons regular.  Just my thoughts.

I have a lot of thoughts about Roman Catholicism.  There is so much beauty there, yet in nearly all areas of their ecclesia, they continue to make and defend very bad decisions; there are some very good RC bishops, but on the whole the RCC is just so poorly run these days it makes me deeply unhappy; they are vital to Christendom. amd their restoration to Orthodoxy either in their current form or through a Western Rite Orthodox Pope of Rome I believe is esseential to the future of the Church.

Never thought I'd see wgw come out in favour of gay marriage--and for clergy at that!  ;)

I am opposed to gay marriage.  Regular clergy. Canons Regular like (IIrC) the Norbertines, Vincentian Fathers and so on, are celibate monastics, hieromonks if you will, who, like friars, focus heavily on parish work and live communally.  Friars are another example of regular clergy, the RC equivalent of hieromonks and archimandrites who often serve in our smaller parishes.  Then you have oratorians, who are technically secular in that they never make formal vows, but who live in a more or less consecrated manner.  Each Cathedral also historically had its own attached monastic brotherhood, like the Brotherhood of the Holy Sepulchre we have in Jerusalem.

These are celibate monastic priests, in other words.   Celibacy can actually be more readily maintained in a communal setting; Dominicans sleep in open dormitories, or did so at one time at least.
Axios and many years to you, Fr. Trenham!

Offline FinnJames

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It was a joke, wgw. Hence the ;). I don't think anyone who's followed your posting could imagine you approve of gay marriage.

But thanks for all the information on various types of clergy.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2016, 04:40:27 AM by FinnJames »