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Author Topic: Can someone please explain men to me?!  (Read 9476 times) Average Rating: 0
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Quinault
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What about frogs? I like frogs!


« Reply #90 on: January 05, 2013, 06:05:58 PM »

But having a relationship with the men inside your family counts a great deal in my mind. Not everyone has good examples/relationships within their family. My husband certainly didn't. If I met a man that didn't have a relationship with *any* men, I would run away in the opposite direction.
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Punch
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« Reply #91 on: January 05, 2013, 06:19:49 PM »

But having a relationship with the men inside your family counts a great deal in my mind. Not everyone has good examples/relationships within their family. My husband certainly didn't. If I met a man that didn't have a relationship with *any* men, I would run away in the opposite direction.

I think that we have reached agreement.
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I would be happy to agree with you, but then both of us would be wrong.
vamrat
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« Reply #92 on: January 05, 2013, 09:16:53 PM »

Quote from: Quinault
If you can see that Band of Brothers is a story about real brotherly love amongst men, you are getting closer to what is right.

So a man wants a woman to be like a brother?

What the hell?

Good, I'm glad I'm wrong.

No, a woman needs to be capable of seeing that love for men is different. Those guys loved each other. Not romantically, but they did have love for each other. The love in that story is one that is expressed by protecting each other. Men need other men. Male friendship is essential. Women can not get bent out of shape because their husband wants to spend time with the guys. Women also have to understand that love isn't just roses and candlelit dinners. Romance is awesome. But if all you have is romance, you don't really have love. For a marriage to work it can't be just romantic love. Men express love thru taking care of the other person. Men also accept love by being taken care of to some extent. No, that doesn't mean women have to be the slave. But it does mean that the little things matter a great deal. It meant the world to my husband when we were first married that I got up with him to talk, and help make his breakfast before he left for work in the mornings. It meant the world to my husband that I tried to have dinner ready when he was home. It meant the world to me that my husband did all the clean-up after dinner. These things were done without discussion as a way to express our love for each other. And for the guys out there; there is nothing sexier than a man doing the dishes and folding laundry Wink

If we look at the ideas of love expressed in popular culture, no man is going to live up to it. No man should live up to it. The relationships portrayed in movies are dysfunctional. It we followed the characters in Jerry Maguire, they would be divorced within a decade. The characters in "Gone with the Wind" aren't any better. Just because it makes a good story with dramatic tension, it doesn't mean that is how life or romance should be. And don't even get me started on 50 Shades...

You are on a roll.  Men have always formed the perimeter of society and women have always operated within it.  Given sufficient time, the terms "lone wolf" and "corpse" become synonymous.   
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vamrat
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« Reply #93 on: January 05, 2013, 09:23:58 PM »

Quote from: Quinault
If you can see that Band of Brothers is a story about real brotherly love amongst men, you are getting closer to what is right.

So a man wants a woman to be like a brother?

What the hell?

Good, I'm glad I'm wrong.

Quinault is married with several children.  The reason for this is either that she knows what she is doing or that God really likes her husband.  Maybe a bit of both.
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tweety234
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« Reply #94 on: January 05, 2013, 11:11:05 PM »

More like a mother actually

indeed. Or like a sister. Or above all a best friend.
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tweety234
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« Reply #95 on: January 05, 2013, 11:14:51 PM »

Men absolutely need other men. There is zero question about that. In fact, I would say that before a man should pursue a romantic relationship, he should cultivate some good friendships with other men.

why do you think that?
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Quinault
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What about frogs? I like frogs!


« Reply #96 on: January 05, 2013, 11:32:08 PM »

Women can try to understand men. And we can often be very successful. But really, a woman simply can not understand a man like another man. A close family member of the same sex, or a close friend of the same sex is invaluable. Punch has mentioned that he had a good relationship with male family members. That is the most preferable male to male relationship. Since active fathers are rare these days, a good friendship with other men is a suitable substitute. Overall, a man that is incapable of having a good relationship with another man is someone to avoid having a relationship with IMO.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2013, 11:32:28 PM by Quinault » Logged
Gebre Menfes Kidus
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« Reply #97 on: January 05, 2013, 11:41:54 PM »

I'm sure many man feel the same frustration about women that you do about men. But we shouldn't generalize and condemn an entire gender based on our negative subjective experiences. My personal two cents is that online dating is not a good idea. Meet someone face to face right off the bat. Usually, it is pretty easy to tell if there is a mutual attraction and natural bond that is worth pursuing. But even with that said, I am actually not a fan of dating at all. The entire concept of dating is based on conditionalism and judgment. "Will this person be good enough for me?" Such a mindset is fraught with the potential for disastrous ends. Also, there are many single Orthodox Christian men. Continue to seek God and attend Liturgy as much as you can. As the Psalmist says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." [Psalm 37:4]


Selam
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« Reply #98 on: January 06, 2013, 05:38:10 AM »

Men need other men? I never really feel like that.

You don't have friends?
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Andrew Crook
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« Reply #99 on: January 06, 2013, 05:58:42 AM »

It seems we can't ever understand the opposite sex.  I still keep wishing someone would explain women to me... but even if they explained them, I still think I'd be lost and confused.
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