Author Topic: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'  (Read 5213 times)

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Offline Mor Ephrem

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BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« on: July 08, 2015, 01:16:09 PM »
I dedicate this thread to TheTrisagion and other friends who are tired of all the threads related to gay marriage.

Quote
Many gay men and women end up marrying people of the opposite sex. But what is it like for the spouse who eventually finds their marriage breaking down?

Recently we told the stories of gay men who had married women. It prompted a strong response from readers who had experienced it from the other side - those whose wives and husbands had come out as gay.

"It feels almost homophobic to say anything about them. To me it's not brave to spend 10 or 20 years with someone only to destroy and discard them," says Emma. She found out her husband was gay a year ago.

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-33382824

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2015, 01:39:24 PM »
I don't know what to say to this other than, what a sad, sad article.  :(
God bless!

Offline Elisha

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2015, 01:49:15 PM »
On a more serious note, I remember reading some stories about some Mormon guys who said they were gay but married to women and had families.  ISTM that they were handling this more of an Orthodox way...not really saying 'gay', but had same sex attractions and were resisting them with full knowledge and support of the female spouse.  The problem is that society just says, "be who you are!" (as in giving in) and don't "live a lie" when we (Orthodox) say, no, that is wrong.  The same-sex "urge" is just the cross that person bears and they are doing the right thing by being a faithful husband (or wife).

Of course....I suppose I'm just preaching to the choir and didn't even need to post the above.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 01:49:51 PM by Elisha »

Offline vamrat

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2015, 02:11:10 PM »
Hey, if it makes them feel good inside, who cares about someone else's life? 

We have such a warped culture.  I think it is far better to live a good lie than a crappy truth.  But then, this would necessitate impulse control.  If you lie and act like a decent person but then your wife catches you in bed with a boy, the rooster is out of the satchel.  If you are going to lie, you have to lie so well and honestly that you begin to accept it as the truth. 
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Papist

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2015, 02:18:00 PM »
Hey, if it makes them feel good inside, who cares about someone else's life? 

We have such a warped culture.  I think it is far better to live a good lie than a crappy truth.  But then, this would necessitate impulse control.  If you lie and act like a decent person but then your wife catches you in bed with a boy, the rooster is out of the satchel.  If you are going to lie, you have to lie so well and honestly that you begin to accept it as the truth.

Or, you know, these men could have honored their marriage vows.
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

Offline Maria

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2015, 02:27:35 PM »
Hey, if it makes them feel good inside, who cares about someone else's life? 

We have such a warped culture.  I think it is far better to live a good lie than a crappy truth.  But then, this would necessitate impulse control.  If you lie and act like a decent person but then your wife catches you in bed with a boy, the rooster is out of the satchel.  If you are going to lie, you have to lie so well and honestly that you begin to accept it as the truth.

Or, you know, these men could have honored their marriage vows.

Exactly. Lying and cheating are forms of infidelity.
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline scamandrius

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2015, 03:34:21 PM »
A friend of mine found out about five years ago that her husband was gay.  She was so humiliated by this.  Her husband kept saying that he couldn't live a lie anymore and he was sorry, as if that made everything OK.  She resigned her position because they were going to move away.  Then he came out and divorce and child custody proceedings took place.  She wanted to get her old job back but it had already been filled.  So, she was struggling financially, didn't have a job, had to take care of her daughter (she's special needs) and had to cope with the emotional stress of being simply discarded.  This was not an act of courage on his part.  Gay rights people need to stop portraying these people as such. 
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Offline vamrat

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2015, 03:53:08 PM »
Hey, if it makes them feel good inside, who cares about someone else's life? 

We have such a warped culture.  I think it is far better to live a good lie than a crappy truth.  But then, this would necessitate impulse control.  If you lie and act like a decent person but then your wife catches you in bed with a boy, the rooster is out of the satchel.  If you are going to lie, you have to lie so well and honestly that you begin to accept it as the truth.

Or, you know, these men could have honored their marriage vows.

Well, there's that.

But I am referring to the whole "living a lie" excuse.  What if someone has an affinity for livestock?  He meets a nice girl, settles down, has some kids, but deep down inside, he'll never care for her as much as that sheep he spent his summers with at the petting zoo.  He's a good father to his children, and does care for his wife and to everyone (including her) he seems like a devoted husband.  Is it better for him to keep on loving her and their children or to be honest to everyone, spilling his dark secret and marrying that sexy ewe?
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Maria

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2015, 03:55:56 PM »
A friend of mine found out about five years ago that her husband was gay.  She was so humiliated by this.  Her husband kept saying that he couldn't live a lie anymore and he was sorry, as if that made everything OK.  She resigned her position because they were going to move away.  Then he came out and divorce and child custody proceedings took place.  She wanted to get her old job back but it had already been filled.  So, she was struggling financially, didn't have a job, had to take care of her daughter (she's special needs) and had to cope with the emotional stress of being simply discarded.  This was not an act of courage on his part.  Gay rights people need to stop portraying these people as such.

Lord have mercy.

He sounds really immature to abandon a special needs daughter and devoted wife. If he were truly Christian and mature, he could have made the relationship work. Two wrongs do not make it right.
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline Asteriktos

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2015, 04:04:04 PM »
I was more or less in such a marriage, and was (again, more or less) able to forgive. Hopefully as time moves on people will feel less fearful, guilt-ridden, thinking they are perceived as psychologically-sick, and so on, and there will be less pain-causing and devastating decisions like that (first, getting into a heterosexual marriage in the first place because your family says you should if you aren't a pervert, your minister told you you'd go to hell if you didn't shape up and become godly, etc.; and second causing often extreme and profoundly [negatively] life altering problems and traumas when you 'come out')
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Offline Papist

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2015, 04:29:59 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

If you are gay, you probably shouldn't enter into a marriage in the first place.
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2015, 04:50:39 PM »
A friend of mine found out about five years ago that her husband was gay.  She was so humiliated by this.  Her husband kept saying that he couldn't live a lie anymore and he was sorry, as if that made everything OK.  She resigned her position because they were going to move away.  Then he came out and divorce and child custody proceedings took place.  She wanted to get her old job back but it had already been filled.  So, she was struggling financially, didn't have a job, had to take care of her daughter (she's special needs) and had to cope with the emotional stress of being simply discarded.  This was not an act of courage on his part.  Gay rights people need to stop portraying these people as such.

 Based on what you said, this man is a selfish man, and is no different than a man who cheated on his wife. For him and the guys like him to come out and think that saying " Oh sorry, but I can't live a lie" is good enough,  is pathetic and make me feel sick. Maybe you can't live a lie, but why should your wife pay the price for your cowardliness  ? Why should your kid(s) pay the price ? So you can come out and be praised by some Gay rights activists who think you are brave and a hero ?.

It is a good move to come out and be honest with you partner, but to get a divorce right away is wrong. At least take time, try to understand your partner's situation, try to realize what that means to him/her. Try to find a middle ground.

The man in the article, and the man is your story, based on what I read, they are not brave or heroes.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 04:57:37 PM by Raylight »

Offline Alpo

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2015, 04:57:43 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

Coming out and being faithful to one's wife/husband are not antithetical. Coming out might actually help keeping the marriage from falling apart as keeping a secret like that might drive anyone nuts.
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Offline Papist

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2015, 05:00:14 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

Coming out and being faithful to one's wife/husband are not antithetical. Coming out might actually help keeping the marriage from falling apart as keeping a secret like that might drive anyone nuts.

Or it may mean unnecessarily breaking one's spouse's heart. How would you feel if you were in a marriage and one day your spouse up and told you, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay. I've never been physically or romantically attracted to you"?
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2015, 05:03:10 PM »
There are some things, you don't need to tell your spouse. Doing so is selfish.
God bless!

Offline Papist

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2015, 05:04:33 PM »
There are some things, you don't need to tell your spouse. Doing so is selfish.

^ + 10, 000.
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

Offline Papist

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2015, 05:05:14 PM »
There are some things, you don't need to tell your spouse. Doing so is selfish.

Some crosses we should bear in secret.
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

Offline Alpo

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2015, 05:09:07 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

Coming out and being faithful to one's wife/husband are not antithetical. Coming out might actually help keeping the marriage from falling apart as keeping a secret like that might drive anyone nuts.

Or it may mean unnecessarily breaking one's spouse's heart. How would you feel if you were in a marriage and one day your spouse up and told you, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay. I've never been physically or romantically attracted to you"?

I tend to see honesty as a virtue. The spouse has probably already long ago noticed that something is seriously wrong.

Also, I don't believe anyone is getting married without at least some form of attraction. Gay or whatnot. That is, if we are talking about Western kind of marriage with dating and all.
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Offline Papist

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2015, 05:32:10 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

Coming out and being faithful to one's wife/husband are not antithetical. Coming out might actually help keeping the marriage from falling apart as keeping a secret like that might drive anyone nuts.

Or it may mean unnecessarily breaking one's spouse's heart. How would you feel if you were in a marriage and one day your spouse up and told you, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay. I've never been physically or romantically attracted to you"?

I tend to see honesty as a virtue. The spouse has probably already long ago noticed that something is seriously wrong.

Also, I don't believe anyone is getting married without at least some form of attraction. Gay or whatnot. That is, if we are talking about Western kind of marriage with dating and all.

Really, you don't think that some gay people marry because of societal expectations?
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

Offline Alpo

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2015, 05:37:10 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

Coming out and being faithful to one's wife/husband are not antithetical. Coming out might actually help keeping the marriage from falling apart as keeping a secret like that might drive anyone nuts.

Or it may mean unnecessarily breaking one's spouse's heart. How would you feel if you were in a marriage and one day your spouse up and told you, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay. I've never been physically or romantically attracted to you"?

I tend to see honesty as a virtue. The spouse has probably already long ago noticed that something is seriously wrong.

Also, I don't believe anyone is getting married without at least some form of attraction. Gay or whatnot. That is, if we are talking about Western kind of marriage with dating and all.

Really, you don't think that some gay people marry because of societal expectations?

Not without any kind of attractions no. People might be gay but still like women.
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2015, 06:14:14 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

Coming out and being faithful to one's wife/husband are not antithetical. Coming out might actually help keeping the marriage from falling apart as keeping a secret like that might drive anyone nuts.

Or it may mean unnecessarily breaking one's spouse's heart. How would you feel if you were in a marriage and one day your spouse up and told you, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay. I've never been physically or romantically attracted to you"?

I tend to see honesty as a virtue. The spouse has probably already long ago noticed that something is seriously wrong.

Also, I don't believe anyone is getting married without at least some form of attraction. Gay or whatnot. That is, if we are talking about Western kind of marriage with dating and all.

Really, you don't think that some gay people marry because of societal expectations?

Not without any kind of attractions no. People might be gay but still like women.


That's called bisexual. 


And people have married just as a cover.  Less now, more in the past but I assume it still happens
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Offline Papist

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2015, 06:18:27 PM »
If you are gay and in a heterosexual marriage, don't come out. You made a vow to love and be faithful to your wife, so do just that.

Coming out and being faithful to one's wife/husband are not antithetical. Coming out might actually help keeping the marriage from falling apart as keeping a secret like that might drive anyone nuts.

Or it may mean unnecessarily breaking one's spouse's heart. How would you feel if you were in a marriage and one day your spouse up and told you, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay. I've never been physically or romantically attracted to you"?

I tend to see honesty as a virtue. The spouse has probably already long ago noticed that something is seriously wrong.

Also, I don't believe anyone is getting married without at least some form of attraction. Gay or whatnot. That is, if we are talking about Western kind of marriage with dating and all.

Really, you don't think that some gay people marry because of societal expectations?

Not without any kind of attractions no. People might be gay but still like women.

And we know this is false because people get married, decide they are living a lie, and come out.
"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2015, 07:49:47 PM »

Ha ha!  This was my lunchtime reading today.

I usually get my salad and read the days news online at my desk while munching away.

This was a sad article....in fact...almost all the articles today were rather sad. 
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2015, 07:51:07 PM »

Ha ha!  This was my lunchtime reading today.

I usually get my salad and read the days news online at my desk while munching away.

This was a sad article....in fact...almost all the articles today were rather sad.

You know what else is sad?  Salad.   :-*

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2015, 08:06:34 PM »
Salad is good if you have bleu cheese dressing. Mmmmm.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2015, 08:12:01 PM »
Salad is good if you have bleu cheese dressing. Mmmmm.

I always thought that defeated the purpose of eating salad. 

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #26 on: July 08, 2015, 08:34:00 PM »

Well....as it is still a fasting period....lunch options are either salad or ....well.....salad.  ;)
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Offline Maria

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #27 on: July 08, 2015, 09:19:49 PM »
You could have pasta without the meatballs.
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
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Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline Minnesotan

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #28 on: July 08, 2015, 09:51:59 PM »
You could have pasta without the meatballs.

These kinds of meatballs?
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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #29 on: July 08, 2015, 10:07:05 PM »

Ha ha!  This was my lunchtime reading today.

I usually get my salad and read the days news online at my desk while munching away.

This was a sad article....in fact...almost all the articles today were rather sad.

You know what else is sad?  Salad.   :-*

YOu don't win friends with salad.

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Da quod iubes et iube quod vis.

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #30 on: July 08, 2015, 10:19:25 PM »
You could have pasta without the meatballs.

These kinds of meatballs?

I always thought that those were discarded cigarette ends found in ashtrays. Never knew it was a food. Ugh.

On the other hand, my music professor in college used to laugh so hard that he would wipe the tears from his eyes when he would introduce the bassoon. He preferred the British usage of that word.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassoon
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 10:21:40 PM by Maria »
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #31 on: July 08, 2015, 10:33:23 PM »
You could have pasta without the meatballs.

These kinds of meatballs?

I always thought that those were discarded cigarette ends found in ashtrays. Never knew it was a food. Ugh.

On the other hand, my music professor in college used to laugh so hard that he would wipe the tears from his eyes when he would introduce the bassoon. He preferred the British usage of that word.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassoon

I'm loving all the dissipation in a thread about the effects of gay marriage and its effects on innocent people. 

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #32 on: July 08, 2015, 10:35:29 PM »
You could have pasta without the meatballs.

These kinds of meatballs?

I always thought that those were discarded cigarette ends found in ashtrays. Never knew it was a food. Ugh.

On the other hand, my music professor in college used to laugh so hard that he would wipe the tears from his eyes when he would introduce the bassoon. He preferred the British usage of that word.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bassoon

I'm loving all the dissipation in a thread about the effects of gay marriage and its effects on innocent people.

Yes, and the derogatory name given to gays is the same as a name for the musical instrument, a discarded cigarette end, and a meal popular in the UK.
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline Maria

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #33 on: July 08, 2015, 10:37:01 PM »
I am sure that the rejected American woman is likely to use that F-word, which would cause someone in Britain to salivate.
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #34 on: July 08, 2015, 10:44:30 PM »
I am sure that the rejected American woman is likely to use that F-word, which would cause someone in Britain to salivate.


Unless you are that rejected American woman.......how can you be sure of anything another soul will do or say?
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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #35 on: July 09, 2015, 01:08:06 AM »
Not without any kind of attractions no. People might be gay but still like women.


That's called bisexual. 

Apparently not in real life. I know few gays who are sometimes attracted to women too and at least one heterosexual who is sometimes attracted to men too. Sounds weird but that's what they say.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2015, 01:11:58 AM by Alpo »
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #36 on: July 09, 2015, 01:37:13 AM »
Not without any kind of attractions no. People might be gay but still like women.


That's called bisexual. 

Apparently not in real life. I know few gays who are sometimes attracted to women too and at least one heterosexual who is sometimes attracted to men too. Sounds weird but that's what they say.

Could it be diet-related or environmental since it is transitory?

Is it true that lead contamination encountered by artists may trigger homosexual feelings and urges?

The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #37 on: July 09, 2015, 01:55:44 AM »
Not without any kind of attractions no. People might be gay but still like women.


That's called bisexual. 

Apparently not in real life. I know few gays who are sometimes attracted to women too and at least one heterosexual who is sometimes attracted to men too. Sounds weird but that's what they say.

Could it be diet-related or environmental since it is transitory?

Is it true that lead contamination encountered by artists may trigger homosexual feelings and urges?



GMO makes you gay. Yes, that makes sense.
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #38 on: July 09, 2015, 08:35:40 AM »

Ha ha!  This was my lunchtime reading today.

I usually get my salad and read the days news online at my desk while munching away.

This was a sad article....in fact...almost all the articles today were rather sad.

You know what else is sad?  Salad.   :-*

YOu don't win friends with salad.

https://youtu.be/Jq_OhlQ0ZkA

I wasn't out to make friends....just eat lunch.  :)
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Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #39 on: July 09, 2015, 08:36:30 AM »
You could have pasta without the meatballs.

Yes...but, I was buying from the cafeteria and the selection is minimal....and pasta has a ton of carbs, which I try to avoid.

The salad was good, though.

I actually like salads.
Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
—St. Isaac of Syria

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #40 on: July 09, 2015, 08:42:02 AM »
Not without any kind of attractions no. People might be gay but still like women.


That's called bisexual. 

Apparently not in real life. I know few gays who are sometimes attracted to women too and at least one heterosexual who is sometimes attracted to men too. Sounds weird but that's what they say.

Could it be diet-related or environmental since it is transitory?

Is it true that lead contamination encountered by artists may trigger homosexual feelings and urges?



GMO makes you gay. Yes, that makes sense.

Small Finnish saunas might.

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #41 on: July 09, 2015, 09:11:24 AM »

Ha ha!  This was my lunchtime reading today.

I usually get my salad and read the days news online at my desk while munching away.

This was a sad article....in fact...almost all the articles today were rather sad.

You know what else is sad?  Salad.   :-*

YOu don't win friends with salad.

https://youtu.be/Jq_OhlQ0ZkA

I wasn't out to make friends....just eat lunch.  :)

Lunchtime is too short for friends.
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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #42 on: July 10, 2015, 05:14:54 PM »
Speaking of finding out your partner is gay...







Offline scamandrius

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #43 on: July 27, 2015, 01:13:36 PM »
Gay ECUSA priest leaves wife to marry younger man AND has complete support of his bishop.

http://nypost.com/2015/07/26/episcopal-priest-shocks-flock-by-leaving-wife-for-younger-man/

Is this man courageous, heroic, an inspiration?  I hope not.
Da quod iubes et iube quod vis.

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Re: BBC - 'How I found out my partner was gay'
« Reply #44 on: July 27, 2015, 01:48:19 PM »
On a more serious note, I remember reading some stories about some Mormon guys who said they were gay but married to women and had families.  ISTM that they were handling this more of an Orthodox way...not really saying 'gay', but had same sex attractions and were resisting them with full knowledge and support of the female spouse.  The problem is that society just says, "be who you are!" (as in giving in) and don't "live a lie" when we (Orthodox) say, no, that is wrong.  The same-sex "urge" is just the cross that person bears and they are doing the right thing by being a faithful husband (or wife).

Of course....I suppose I'm just preaching to the choir and didn't even need to post the above.

If a person with SSA is married to a woman who knows about his struggles and who is supporting him in his struggles, there is no lie. Openness in marriage is to be encouraged for we are to struggle together to attain the Kingdom of God no matter what our particular cross in life.

For example, some people have an anger issue. Perhaps it is better for them not to marry rather than strike out in anger and kill their spouse as there appears to be a greater danger to a women who has a spouse with anger issues than one with open SSA issues. Look at Mrs. Petersen who was killed by her husband not too many years ago.

On the other hand, a man or a woman who has hidden his/her SSA is a liar and a thief. A liar because they are dishonest; a thief because they have stolen the love and virginity of another person to provide a cover for their iniquities so they could succeed in society without disgrace.

I had a cousin who married a lesbian. She only married him for his money and took him to the cleaners at their divorce when he was overseas fighting in a war. He was left with nothing but the shirt on his back. Fortunately, they did not have children. They did not even consumate their marriage because he was shipped overseas before they could have a proper honeymoon.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2015, 01:49:27 PM by Maria »
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.