Author Topic: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?  (Read 11634 times)

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Offline Indocern

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How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?

Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2015, 12:29:34 PM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?
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Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2015, 12:37:04 PM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2015, 12:51:45 PM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay away, then.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2015, 12:57:54 PM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay away, then.

Thanks for the advice.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2015, 01:00:01 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

Offline Maria

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2015, 01:03:23 PM »
Sometimes shy girls will avoid boys that they actually like.
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2015, 01:09:21 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

I am 27 years old, the girl is over 30 years old.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #8 on: March 29, 2015, 01:10:16 PM »
Sometimes shy girls will avoid boys that they actually like.

I hope to be so but i am not sure.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2015, 01:14:51 PM »
Sometimes shy girls will avoid boys that they actually like.

Right. When Indocern says this girl "avoids" her, I would need to know what he means by that. Does he mean he approaches her and tries to start a conversation but she cuts him off or turns away? Or does he mean that she doesn't respond to subtler body languages cues? If he's a shy guy, as I suspect, he probably sucks at using and understanding body language and this is not the approach he should take. Body language is overrated: you can get a lot done with a simple "Hi, how are you? Would you like to join me for lunch?" followed by either "Yes, I'd like that" or "No thanks, I'm not interested".

The worst advice you can give a shy guy who is uncomfortable with approaching women is telling him to assume the worst and never approach them. These guys have to train their social muscles extra hard: take risks by approaching women they like, learn to accept rejection with grace, and be finally rewarded with acceptance (you WILL be successful, but only if you keep trying).

In all of the above I'm assuming Indocern is not just being a creep and continuing to pursue someone who has made her lack of interest explicit.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2015, 01:15:40 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

I am 27 years old, the girl is over 30 years old.

OK, thanks. And when you say she avoids you, what does that mean exactly? How have you made your interest in her clear, and how has she responded?

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2015, 01:23:45 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

I am 27 years old, the girl is over 30 years old.

OK, thanks. And when you say she avoids you, what does that mean exactly? How have you made your interest in her clear, and how has she responded?

I walking on the pavement and she go in front of me and i just thinking i will say to her hello and she go to traffic lane.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2015, 01:29:05 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

I am 27 years old, the girl is over 30 years old.

OK, thanks. And when you say she avoids you, what does that mean exactly? How have you made your interest in her clear, and how has she responded?

I walking on the pavement and she go in front of me and i just thinking i will say to her hello and she go to traffic lane.

So you just thought to yourself that you would like to say hello, but you never did say hello? Was she supposed to read your mind?

Did you just see her on the street, or do you know her in another context?

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2015, 01:34:35 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

I am 27 years old, the girl is over 30 years old.

OK, thanks. And when you say she avoids you, what does that mean exactly? How have you made your interest in her clear, and how has she responded?

I walking on the pavement and she go in front of me and i just thinking i will say to her hello and she go to traffic lane.

So you just thought to yourself that you would like to say hello, but you never did say hello? Was she supposed to read your mind?

Did you just see her on the street, or do you know her in another context?

We already know each other we say a few times hello to each other.

When we make acquaintance i say to her that i search for a girl, and she say that for everybody is defined by GOD.

We make the acquaintance in the church she is daughter of the priest.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 01:35:24 PM by Indocern »

Offline Maria

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2015, 01:39:46 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

I am 27 years old, the girl is over 30 years old.

OK, thanks. And when you say she avoids you, what does that mean exactly? How have you made your interest in her clear, and how has she responded?

I walking on the pavement and she go in front of me and i just thinking i will say to her hello and she go to traffic lane.

So you just thought to yourself that you would like to say hello, but you never did say hello? Was she supposed to read your mind?

Did you just see her on the street, or do you know her in another context?

We already know each other we say a few times hello to each other.

When we make acquaintance i say to her that i search for a girl, and she say that for everybody is defined by GOD.

We make the acquaintance in the church she is daughter of the priest.

Have you talked with the priest (her father)?

Does your country have arranged marriages?
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #15 on: March 29, 2015, 01:46:33 PM »
How old are you, Indocern, and how old is this girl?

I am 27 years old, the girl is over 30 years old.

OK, thanks. And when you say she avoids you, what does that mean exactly? How have you made your interest in her clear, and how has she responded?

I walking on the pavement and she go in front of me and i just thinking i will say to her hello and she go to traffic lane.

So you just thought to yourself that you would like to say hello, but you never did say hello? Was she supposed to read your mind?

Did you just see her on the street, or do you know her in another context?

We already know each other we say a few times hello to each other.

When we make acquaintance i say to her that i search for a girl, and she say that for everybody is defined by GOD.

We make the acquaintance in the church she is daughter of the priest.

Have you talked with the priest (her father)?

Does your country have arranged marriages?

I was talked to her mother she know that i like her i am not talked to her father.

In our country there is no arranged marriages.

Offline WPM

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2015, 02:05:41 PM »
Its alot like Hollywood's notion of finding Mr. Right ... Not exactly realistic.
Learn meditation.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #17 on: March 29, 2015, 02:10:12 PM »
Its alot like Hollywood's notion of finding Mr. Right ... Not exactly realistic.

I dont know how to communicate with girls.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 02:10:40 PM by Indocern »

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2015, 02:20:44 PM »
Its alot like Hollywood's notion of finding Mr. Right ... Not exactly realistic.

I dont know how to communicate with girls.

It takes practice. You've already said hello; now ask her out to coffee. Baby steps.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #19 on: March 29, 2015, 02:22:32 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #20 on: March 29, 2015, 02:27:06 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2015, 02:32:22 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2015, 02:33:04 PM »
Where do you live?

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #24 on: March 29, 2015, 02:37:39 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.

I am bashful.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 02:38:37 PM by Indocern »

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #25 on: March 29, 2015, 02:41:45 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.


I am bashful.

I get it. I really do. But you can't blame her for ignoring you if you never give her a chance, right?

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #26 on: March 29, 2015, 02:52:01 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.


I am bashful.

I get it. I really do. But you can't blame her for ignoring you if you never give her a chance, right?

Ok thanks for the advice.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #27 on: March 29, 2015, 03:47:48 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.


I am bashful.

I get it. I really do. But you can't blame her for ignoring you if you never give her a chance, right?

Ok thanks for the advice.

No problem. Let us know how it goes!

Offline Maria

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #28 on: March 29, 2015, 04:14:53 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.

I am bashful.

Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 04:15:30 PM by Maria »
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline Alxandra

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #29 on: March 29, 2015, 04:19:31 PM »
Great advice from Maria. I hope God's will is done :)
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Offline xOrthodox4Christx

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #30 on: March 29, 2015, 04:19:52 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.

I am bashful.

Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

lol Cliche. But, I guess it works if you are shy.
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Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #31 on: March 29, 2015, 04:29:33 PM »
Thanks for the support.

Offline Minnesotan

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #32 on: March 29, 2015, 04:43:11 PM »
Unfortunately I can't give any advice here, as I'm still single too (and have been my entire 25-year life).
I'm not going to be posting as much on OC.Net as before. I might stop in once in a while though. But I've come to realize that real life is more important.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #33 on: March 29, 2015, 05:22:21 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.

I am bashful.

Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

lol Cliche. But, I guess it works if you are shy.

I think it's adorable and I expect a Bulgarian priest's daughter might actually appreciate that gesture. Old-fashioned dating is actually much more friendly to shy types. I personally think the sexual revolution and post-1960s feminism are nothing more than plots to drive nerds and shy people out of the dating market completely, but whatever.

Offline Alxandra

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #34 on: March 29, 2015, 05:27:32 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.

I am bashful.

Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

lol Cliche. But, I guess it works if you are shy.

I think it's adorable and I expect a Bulgarian priest's daughter might actually appreciate that gesture. Old-fashioned dating is actually much more friendly to shy types. I personally think the sexual revolution and post-1960s feminism are nothing more than plots to drive nerds and shy people out of the dating market completely, but whatever.

Yeah definitely, I'm shy too and I feel very uncomfortable with modern dating. Old fashioned dating is very nice. That sweet gesture is good for someone who is shy :)
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #35 on: March 29, 2015, 05:28:26 PM »
Old-fashioned dating is actually much more friendly to shy types.

Indeed. Negotiating with her father how many goats you would give him for his daughter is much easier for a shy guy than all that pesky dating.

Ah, those were the days...

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #36 on: March 29, 2015, 05:31:28 PM »
Old-fashioned dating is actually much more friendly to shy types.

Indeed. Negotiating with her father how many goats you would give him for his daughter is much easier for a shy guy than all that pesky dating.

Ah, those were the days...

I don't have any goats. I'll always be alone.  :'(
My only weakness is, well, never mind

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Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #37 on: March 29, 2015, 05:38:17 PM »
Old-fashioned dating is actually much more friendly to shy types.

Indeed. Negotiating with her father how many goats you would give him for his daughter is much easier for a shy guy than all that pesky dating.

Ah, those were the days...

OK well by "old-fashioned" I meant the 1950s. I keep forgetting who I'm talking with here...

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #38 on: March 29, 2015, 05:40:58 PM »
Old-fashioned dating is actually much more friendly to shy types.

Indeed. Negotiating with her father how many goats you would give him for his daughter is much easier for a shy guy than all that pesky dating.

Ah, those were the days...

OK well by "old-fashioned" I meant the 1950s. I keep forgetting who I'm talking with here...

Still, the goats are easier even compared to the 1950s stuff.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 05:41:25 PM by Cyrillic »

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #39 on: March 29, 2015, 05:49:29 PM »
Old-fashioned dating is actually much more friendly to shy types.

Indeed. Negotiating with her father how many goats you would give him for his daughter is much easier for a shy guy than all that pesky dating.

Ah, those were the days...

OK well by "old-fashioned" I meant the 1950s. I keep forgetting who I'm talking with here...

Still, the goats are easier even compared to the 1950s stuff.

It's hard to find good goats these days, that's the problem.

But seriously, I think 50s kitsch is looking ever better. Not as oppressive as real patriarchy, but allows men to be nice to women without being dismissed as wimps. Actually it's one thing that unites pre-modern and post-modern cultures: women end up dealing with lots of callous jerks. The only difference is now they give themselves the illusion of having a choice in the matter.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 05:50:02 PM by Jonathan Gress »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #40 on: March 29, 2015, 05:55:05 PM »
Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

That would have me utterly creeped out, but hey, what do I know? I couldn't even master the technique of saying no while meaning yes. ::)
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #41 on: March 29, 2015, 05:55:50 PM »
Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

That would have me utterly creeped out, but hey, what do I know?

Yeah, it's a bit extreme.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #42 on: March 29, 2015, 05:59:15 PM »
Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.
Would that be a little too much too soon?  At the point when they are almost strangers, she might think, "Ugh, he likes me."  Maybe get in a few dates first?

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #43 on: March 29, 2015, 05:59:40 PM »
Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

That would have me utterly creeped out, but hey, what do I know? I couldn't even master the technique of saying no while meaning yes. ::)

Actually I agree. It's coming on a little strong.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #44 on: March 29, 2015, 06:01:18 PM »
Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.
Would that be a little too much too soon?  At the point when they are almost strangers, she might think, "Ugh, he likes me."  Maybe get in a few dates first?

I agree. Indocern, just do what I originally said: ask her out for coffee or something similarly low-key. Save the chocolates and flowers for later.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #45 on: March 29, 2015, 06:01:59 PM »
What does Otets Boris think?
Mor Ephrem is a nice guy.  Just say sorry and it will all be ok. Say I had things that were inside troubling me but I didn't know how to express appropriately. I will not behave that way again but I am seeking help.

...if you feel Mor really is in spiritual danger, pray the Jesus prayer for him.   :police:

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #46 on: March 29, 2015, 06:02:38 PM »
What does Otets Boris think?

Is that the priest?

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #47 on: March 29, 2015, 06:08:29 PM »
What does Otets Boris think?

Is that the priest?

IIRC, that's Indocern's spiritual father.  Not sure if he is the same priest as the father of the girl in question.
Mor Ephrem is a nice guy.  Just say sorry and it will all be ok. Say I had things that were inside troubling me but I didn't know how to express appropriately. I will not behave that way again but I am seeking help.

...if you feel Mor really is in spiritual danger, pray the Jesus prayer for him.   :police:

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #48 on: March 29, 2015, 06:14:18 PM »
What does Otets Boris think?

Is that the priest?

IIRC, that's Indocern's spiritual father.  Not sure if he is the same priest as the father of the girl in question.

Oh OK.

There may lots of cultural differences that need to be taken account of. I don't know how conservative Bulgaria really is; they were communist for a while, after all, and are now in the EU. Is it so traditional that Indocern would need to ask the woman's father's permission, for example? And I agree with Arachne that chocolates and flowers are overkill before the first date, but in some cultural contexts I can imagine a romantic gesture like that would be appreciated. I also would say the woman in question is old enough to make up her own mind on things, but it's possible her family and community would have other ideas.

But asking his spiritual father for advice probably can't hurt.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 06:15:05 PM by Jonathan Gress »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #49 on: March 29, 2015, 08:44:46 PM »
He just missed the real reason for Valentine's Day -- The once a year opportunity to present a flower and some chocolates to a sweet girl without raising eyebrows.

Maybe next year.

But then she might be taken by someone else.


Afterthought: maybe he could tell her that he missed the opportunity on St .Valentine's Day.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 08:45:29 PM by Maria »
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Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #50 on: March 29, 2015, 08:47:49 PM »
He just missed the real reason for Valentine's Day -- The once a year opportunity to present a flower and some chocolates to a sweet girl without raising eyebrows.

Maybe next year.

But then she might be taken by someone else.


Afterthought: maybe he could tell her that he missed the opportunity on St .Valentine's Day.

Shy guys should remember there are plenty of fish in the sea. If this falls through, there will be others. And it's not like he needs flowers and chocolate at this point.

Do people give flowers and chocolate to random girls on Valentine's? It's been so long since I participated in any of that I can't remember what's customary.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #51 on: March 29, 2015, 08:49:15 PM »
Shy guys should remember there are plenty of fish in the sea. If this falls through, there will be others.

But where are the seas, rivers, lakes, ponds, creeks, brooks, etc.? 
Mor Ephrem is a nice guy.  Just say sorry and it will all be ok. Say I had things that were inside troubling me but I didn't know how to express appropriately. I will not behave that way again but I am seeking help.

...if you feel Mor really is in spiritual danger, pray the Jesus prayer for him.   :police:

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #52 on: March 29, 2015, 08:57:03 PM »
Shy guys should remember there are plenty of fish in the sea. If this falls through, there will be others.

But where are the seas, rivers, lakes, ponds, creeks, brooks, etc.?

You mean where can you find nice girls? Well, church is the best place for a pious young man to find a mate. I think the priest's daughter is a great candidate. It sounds like Indocern was reading too much into her behavior and that she's open to a relationship and maybe engagement, but he needs to summon up the courage to make the first move. He probably should just stick to asking her out normally and not send her flowers and stuff, though I don't see anything wrong with that. If she's over 30, I presume she's mature enough to tell him politely but clearly if she's not interested in going out; otherwise, it could be a winner.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #53 on: March 29, 2015, 09:05:54 PM »
But what if you're in a church that has few singles? I think Mor was asking more generally.

Going cruising at another Church is not often an option outside of the big cities.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #54 on: March 29, 2015, 09:16:16 PM »
But what if you're in a church that has few singles? I think Mor was asking more generally.

Going cruising at another Church is not often an option outside of the big cities.

Well, the next best thing would be other social groups. Like most people, I would not recommend dating someone you work with, but any other venue should be fine. Living in Bulgaria Indocern's lucky since most people are at least nominally Orthodox, or have Orthodox family roots and may be open to going to church more. It's tougher in the US where most people aren't Orthodox: if you're already affiliated with another religion there's an extra psychological hurdle to jump over, more so if you're not even Christian.

If you or Mor want to start your own dating advice thread maybe we should do that.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #55 on: March 30, 2015, 01:33:15 AM »
If you or Mor want to start your own dating advice thread maybe we should do that.

I'm only qualified to advise on what not to do. 
Mor Ephrem is a nice guy.  Just say sorry and it will all be ok. Say I had things that were inside troubling me but I didn't know how to express appropriately. I will not behave that way again but I am seeking help.

...if you feel Mor really is in spiritual danger, pray the Jesus prayer for him.   :police:

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #56 on: March 30, 2015, 05:37:31 AM »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #57 on: March 30, 2015, 05:37:58 AM »
What does Otets Boris think?

He dont have nothing against.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #58 on: March 30, 2015, 05:54:01 AM »
Invite her to Church. If she is interested in you and interested in God, then she will most likely accept the invitation. If she is not interested in you or not interested in God, then she will decline the invitation. And you won't have to waste time pursuing a girl who has no interest in you or in spiritual matters.


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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #59 on: March 30, 2015, 06:27:30 AM »
Invite her to Church. If she is interested in you and interested in God, then she will most likely accept the invitation. If she is not interested in you or not interested in God, then she will decline the invitation. And you won't have to waste time pursuing a girl who has no interest in you or in spiritual matters.


Selam

She's the daughter of the priest.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #60 on: March 30, 2015, 07:58:38 AM »
Invite her to Church. If she is interested in you and interested in God, then she will most likely accept the invitation. If she is not interested in you or not interested in God, then she will decline the invitation. And you won't have to waste time pursuing a girl who has no interest in you or in spiritual matters.


Selam

She's the daughter of the priest.

Oh, well then... I guess I would suggest asking the Priest (the girl's father) for permission to ask her out. I'm sure the priest (the girl's father) will let him know if she's interested and if he will allow it. Seems like the best course of action to take.

Selam
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Offline Fabio Leite

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #61 on: March 30, 2015, 09:13:00 AM »
Have in mind the kind of person you would like to meet and the kind of relationship you intend to have.

Approach her as if she she was that kind of person and as if she also wanted that kind of relationship.

If it works then you both will get what you want. If it doesn't then, although she is a good person (I assume), maybe she is not exactly the person you thought she was.

Also have in mind that *nobody* will be exactly what you expect or want. And because neither you are anyone's perfect dream there must be room for lots of tolerance and forgiveness.

If you would like to be with a romantic girl, do try the romantic gift thing. If she does not like it, then, lucky you, you already know that she is not into that kind of thing. You can either try another approach or move on.

Now, two things about love.

First, not all the love in the world can make a person love us back if she/he does not want to. Not even the infinite love of God forces a person to love Him back, so neither will the limited love of a mortal man. If she makes it clear to you that she does not want it, respect that. And by making clear, I don't mean your conclusions or interpretations about how she looks at you or her body language or any "conclusion" taken without having some kind of relationship with her.

Second, love is very clear for some people, sometime. For many others it's something that grows and matures. Before thinking of being her boyfriend or husband, maybe you should try to be her friend. Have conversations about things you would like to talk about with any person: movies, sports, church, literature, trips, nature... only by sharing your heart openly you two will know if your hearts meet.

But don't forget: the above may be a conversation starter but do *not* talk only about what you like. After the conversation begins, show your interest in what *she* likes. This is also a way to know if you really love her or if you are just enfatuated for the image of her you constructed in your mind. If hearing about what she loves does not please you, then you don't love who she really is. You don't even have to like what she likes, but you do have to like seeing her happy even if what makes her happy is giving her opinion about the soap opera. And don't worry, most girls do know the difference between a man courting them and their girl friends. If she starts talking about something too "girly" she is probably just checking if you can "put up" with her, but it's unlikely that she will even feel comfortable staying in that subject with non-girls.

Just remember that it's not a "yes or no" thing from the start. It's about cultivating something good, even if it does not exist entirely in the beginning. Giving time. Giving space. Giving timely and kind proofs of your feelings and good intentions. Letting her get used to your presence, to you. And also checking as you grow closer if you really want that. Never promise anything directly or indirectly if you are not sure that you want to keep your promise. Respect her heart and treat it gently even if you find out that you don't really love her. Be there for her when she needs it but don't let her think that you are needy and will be there for just about any frivolity at the snap of fingers. The very basis for any true love is that you have love and respect for yourself as well.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #62 on: March 30, 2015, 09:19:38 AM »
I wish this thread was locked before Fabio posted.

Sorry Fabs, but what you are advocating is our OP become a doormat and also approach women not as they are, but the fantasies they want to project onto them.

Quote
Have in mind the kind of person you would like to meet and the kind of relationship you intend to have.

Approach her as if she she was that kind of person and as if she also wanted that kind of relationship.

If it works then you both will get what you want. If it doesn't then, although she is a good person (I assume), maybe she is not exactly the person you thought she was.
Well of course shes not the person you thought she was if you go into it with the kind of person you want her to be.

This is just nonsense. I don't know what partner could ever not dissapoint another, everyone falls short of our expectations of them.

What does the OP want? A casual date or fling with the priest's daughter? OK great there are ways to go about that, and they have zero to do with what you posted. If he wants to get into a relationship then he needs to be honest with what he wants over the longterm. Sharing the same interests in likes, holding the same values, etc.

But we aren't even at that point to even think about it. OP just needs to start up some friendly chatter with this girl, and see where it goes. Maybe it goes nowhere, that's OK too.

But good grief Fabs you are way off your rocker on this one.

I'm speaking as an American which probably has a lot different customs and culture than Bulgarian.

I don't even know how a Bulgarian dates? Maybe they fling poo at each other to attract attention of another. I don't know.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2015, 09:42:43 AM by nothing »
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #63 on: March 30, 2015, 11:33:41 AM »
I agree with Achronos on that one.

Although I don't think a casual fling with the daughter of the priest is a good thing. It could get awkward.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #64 on: March 30, 2015, 11:41:51 AM »
I agree with Achronos on that one.

Although I don't think a casual fling with the daughter of the priest is a good thing. It could get awkward.

Maybe she also is very shy.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #65 on: March 30, 2015, 11:51:38 AM »
I agree with Achronos on that one.

Although I don't think a casual fling with the daughter of the priest is a good thing. It could get awkward.
Yeah when the priest is pronouncing absolution from God over it lol.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #66 on: March 30, 2015, 11:51:48 AM »
Dont't ask anything from OC.net. Acting like an American just makes you look weird. It's a bit out of place since customs vary from place to place. Asking your priest does that too since you're 29 instead of, say, 56. Ask your friends instead.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #67 on: March 30, 2015, 12:00:04 PM »
Dont't ask anything from OC.net. Acting like an American just makes you look weird. It's a bit out of place since customs vary from place to place. Asking your priest does that too since you're 29 instead of, say, 56. Ask your friends instead.

Thanks.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #68 on: March 30, 2015, 12:02:27 PM »
I wish this thread was locked before Fabio posted.

Sorry Fabs, but what you are advocating is our OP become a doormat and also approach women not as they are, but the fantasies they want to project onto them.

Quote
Have in mind the kind of person you would like to meet and the kind of relationship you intend to have.

Approach her as if she she was that kind of person and as if she also wanted that kind of relationship.

If it works then you both will get what you want. If it doesn't then, although she is a good person (I assume), maybe she is not exactly the person you thought she was.
Well of course shes not the person you thought she was if you go into it with the kind of person you want her to be.

This is just nonsense. I don't know what partner could ever not dissapoint another, everyone falls short of our expectations of them.

What does the OP want? A casual date or fling with the priest's daughter? OK great there are ways to go about that, and they have zero to do with what you posted. If he wants to get into a relationship then he needs to be honest with what he wants over the longterm. Sharing the same interests in likes, holding the same values, etc.

But we aren't even at that point to even think about it. OP just needs to start up some friendly chatter with this girl, and see where it goes. Maybe it goes nowhere, that's OK too.

But good grief Fabs you are way off your rocker on this one.

I'm speaking as an American which probably has a lot different customs and culture than Bulgarian.

I don't even know how a Bulgarian dates? Maybe they fling poo at each other to attract attention of another. I don't know.

I am an American and I disagree with you. Your thoughts are not universally accepted.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #69 on: March 30, 2015, 12:08:34 PM »
I wish this thread was locked before Fabio posted.

Sorry Fabs, but what you are advocating is our OP become a doormat and also approach women not as they are, but the fantasies they want to project onto them.

Quote
Have in mind the kind of person you would like to meet and the kind of relationship you intend to have.

Approach her as if she she was that kind of person and as if she also wanted that kind of relationship.

If it works then you both will get what you want. If it doesn't then, although she is a good person (I assume), maybe she is not exactly the person you thought she was.
Well of course shes not the person you thought she was if you go into it with the kind of person you want her to be.

This is just nonsense. I don't know what partner could ever not dissapoint another, everyone falls short of our expectations of them.

What does the OP want? A casual date or fling with the priest's daughter? OK great there are ways to go about that, and they have zero to do with what you posted. If he wants to get into a relationship then he needs to be honest with what he wants over the longterm. Sharing the same interests in likes, holding the same values, etc.

But we aren't even at that point to even think about it. OP just needs to start up some friendly chatter with this girl, and see where it goes. Maybe it goes nowhere, that's OK too.

But good grief Fabs you are way off your rocker on this one.

I'm speaking as an American which probably has a lot different customs and culture than Bulgarian.

I don't even know how a Bulgarian dates? Maybe they fling poo at each other to attract attention of another. I don't know.

Nothing,
Every single issue you mentioned is addressed in what I wrote, including not becoming a doormat and to avoid fantasizing, although I didn't use those exact words. We agree on that.

You mention how a partner could "not dissapoint" and that is precisely by being open to each other's prosaic humanity. We can be sad or even hurt by some actions or lackings of the other, but not necessarily dissapointed.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #70 on: March 30, 2015, 12:38:27 PM »
Opus, I don't claim my thoughts are applicable to all, of course not. Maybe I'm wrong, but I had to point out Fabs going off the rails a bit, you agree with him?

Those considerations seem utterly crazy if you haven't even begun a simple conversation of sorts. I'm saying why are thoughts of love even on the table here?

Unless you are Dante and have pangs of unrequited love. If so then may God have mercy on you, a horrible condition to be in.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #71 on: March 30, 2015, 01:32:32 PM »
Hi Nothing

I am afraid I am way beyond Fabio's more conservative and practical interpretation. I never read Dante. I think I have written about infatuation and unrequited love here (perhaps three years ago - I do not remember) and I can guess it was cringe-worthy. In a nutshell, unrequited love is a beautiful thing, you have it forever, it is always in your thoughts. What starts out as a horrid disease becomes a positive experience.

Opus, I don't claim my thoughts are applicable to all, of course not. Maybe I'm wrong, but I had to point out Fabs going off the rails a bit, you agree with him?

Those considerations seem utterly crazy if you haven't even begun a simple conversation of sorts. I'm saying why are thoughts of love even on the table here?

Unless you are Dante and have pangs of unrequited love. If so then may God have mercy on you, a horrible condition to be in.
If you cannot remember everything, instead of everything, I beg you, remember this without fail, that not to share our own wealth with the poor is theft from the poor and deprivation of their means of life; we do not possess our own wealth but theirs.  If we have this attitude, we will certainly offer our money; and by nourishing Christ in poverty here and laying up great profit hereafter, we will be able to attain the good things which are to come. - St. John Chrysostom

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #72 on: March 30, 2015, 01:45:48 PM »
I see something useful in both Fabio and nothing's remarks. Indocern seems to be kind of infatuated with this woman, but it would be good for him to remember that he still doesn't really know her, which is why he needs to ask her out properly and find out what they really have in common.

But I think raising even the possibility of casual dating or "flings" is not appropriate advice for one serious about his faith: if you don't see yourself living with this woman for the rest of your life, it's best to drop the whole idea right now.

I would only add that neediness or desperation are generally unattractive qualities, which is why maybe I'd caution against declaring love too soon.

I really can't say whether he needs to ask the father's formal permission to court his daughter. I think Indocern's own priest would have recommended this if it was expected of him. The woman seems plenty old enough to make her own life decisions.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #73 on: March 30, 2015, 01:51:18 PM »
I agree with Achronos on that one.

;)
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #74 on: March 30, 2015, 10:32:39 PM »
I agree with Achronos on that one.

Although I don't think a casual fling with the daughter of the priest is a good thing. It could get awkward.

Ah, wisdom. Everything makes sense now with Shiny back.

Fabio makes sense too.

Yes, women do like men who will listen.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2015, 10:43:24 PM by Maria »
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #75 on: March 30, 2015, 10:34:19 PM »
NVM
« Last Edit: March 30, 2015, 10:58:59 PM by Maria »
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #76 on: March 30, 2015, 10:58:03 PM »

Maybe she also is very shy.

If the lady (30 years old) is shy, and talking is difficult, then perhaps you can take her to a museum or concert.

The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #77 on: March 30, 2015, 11:02:48 PM »

Maybe she also is very shy.

If the lady (30 years old) is shy, and talking is difficult, then perhaps you can take her to a museum or concert.

I don't think she's necessarily shy. I think Indocern is shy and is projecting his own insecurities onto this woman. He's never asked her out, yet he accuses her of ignoring him. He just needs to get out of his own head, gather some courage and actually ask her out. Museum or concert would be great, or whatever is affordable in whatever part of Bulgaria he's in.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #78 on: March 30, 2015, 11:08:43 PM »

Maybe she also is very shy.

If the lady (30 years old) is shy, and talking is difficult, then perhaps you can take her to a museum or concert.

I don't think she's necessarily shy. I think Indocern is shy and is projecting his own insecurities onto this woman. He's never asked her out, yet he accuses her of ignoring him. He just needs to get out of his own head, gather some courage and actually ask her out. Museum or concert would be great, or whatever is affordable in whatever part of Bulgaria he's in.

Visiting a museum is a great way to get a person to notice, to share, to explore art, history, etc.

Even the most timid will ooh and awe at some works of art.

I remember visiting some historical places with exquisite artifacts that stimulated conversations hours later.
Remember that piece ... Oh the colors ...
The memory of God should be treasured in our hearts like the precious pearl mentioned in the Holy Gospel. Our life's goal should be to nurture and contemplate God always within, and never let it depart, for this steadfastness will drive demons away from us. - Paraphrased from St. Philotheus of Sinai
Writings from the Philokalia: On Prayer of the Heart,
Translated from the Russian by E. Kadloubovksy and G.E.H. Palmer, Faber and Faber, London, Boston, 1992 printing.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #79 on: March 30, 2015, 11:26:38 PM »

Maybe she also is very shy.

If the lady (30 years old) is shy, and talking is difficult, then perhaps you can take her to a museum or concert.

I don't think she's necessarily shy. I think Indocern is shy and is projecting his own insecurities onto this woman. He's never asked her out, yet he accuses her of ignoring him. He just needs to get out of his own head, gather some courage and actually ask her out. Museum or concert would be great, or whatever is affordable in whatever part of Bulgaria he's in.

Visiting a museum is a great way to get a person to notice, to share, to explore art, history, etc.

Even the most timid will ooh and awe at some works of art.

I remember visiting some historical places with exquisite artifacts that stimulated conversations hours later.
Remember that piece ... Oh the colors ...

Perhaps, but only if they share an interest in that kind of thing.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #80 on: March 31, 2015, 04:22:17 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #81 on: March 31, 2015, 10:24:50 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #82 on: March 31, 2015, 11:16:57 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

It's a TS Eliot quote. And you probably do have vanity, since anybody who isn't already a saint has some vanity. This shouldn't be about you being perfect or not perfect.

Have you asked her out yet?

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #83 on: March 31, 2015, 11:21:10 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

It's a TS Eliot quote. And you probably do have vanity, since anybody who isn't already a saint has some vanity. This shouldn't be about you being perfect or not perfect.

Have you asked her out yet?

One of my friends once said, "Just ask her out already.  What's the worst thing that could happen?  You get married."
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #84 on: March 31, 2015, 11:22:34 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

It's a TS Eliot quote. And you probably do have vanity, since anybody who isn't already a saint has some vanity. This shouldn't be about you being perfect or not perfect.

Have you asked her out yet?

One of my friends once said, "Just ask her out already.  What's the worst thing that could happen?  You get married."

Awkwardness at church and weird looks from the priest.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #85 on: March 31, 2015, 11:41:30 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

It's a TS Eliot quote. And you probably do have vanity, since anybody who isn't already a saint has some vanity. This shouldn't be about you being perfect or not perfect.

Have you asked her out yet?

One of my friends once said, "Just ask her out already.  What's the worst thing that could happen?  You get married."

Awkwardness at church and weird looks from the priest.

If the priest has a problem with men asking his 30-year old daughter out, then he's an over-protective jerk. And awkwardness is just something you have to risk, unless you stick to asking out random strangers you'll never see again.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #86 on: March 31, 2015, 11:42:29 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

It's a TS Eliot quote. And you probably do have vanity, since anybody who isn't already a saint has some vanity. This shouldn't be about you being perfect or not perfect.

Have you asked her out yet?

One of my friends once said, "Just ask her out already.  What's the worst thing that could happen?  You get married."

Awkwardness at church and weird looks from the priest.

Touche.  Awkwardness at Church kind of sucks. 
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #87 on: March 31, 2015, 11:45:07 AM »
Also, if you can't stay on good terms with someone after being rejected for a date (or after rejecting someone), then you have other problems.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #88 on: March 31, 2015, 11:52:35 AM »
Also, if you can't stay on good terms with someone after being rejected for a date (or after rejecting someone), then you have other problems.

I've been there before.
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Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #89 on: March 31, 2015, 11:53:18 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

It's a TS Eliot quote. And you probably do have vanity, since anybody who isn't already a saint has some vanity. This shouldn't be about you being perfect or not perfect.

Have you asked her out yet?

I am not asked her yet.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #90 on: March 31, 2015, 11:55:18 AM »
Well, those are two entirely different questions. Is there an actual girl in the picture, or are you talking hypothetically?

Yes there is a girl but she even dont say to me hello she avoid me.

Take the hint (in the bolded part) and stay

away, then.

His vanity requires no response,
and makes a welcome of indifference.

I don't think that i have vanity.

It's a TS Eliot quote. And you probably do have vanity, since anybody who isn't already a saint has some vanity. This shouldn't be about you being perfect or not perfect.

Have you asked her out yet?

I am not asked her yet.

OK, well, we can't help you until you do. Once you ask her out and get a clear yes or no, come back to us.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #91 on: March 31, 2015, 12:45:47 PM »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #92 on: March 31, 2015, 01:03:20 PM »
over-protective jerk

Aka fathers.

Normal fathers are protective of their daughters when they're 20 years old and getting attention from everyone. By the time they're over 30 and still not attached, the reasonable attitude should be to wonder why nothing's happening and encourage any suitor that comes along.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #93 on: April 01, 2015, 07:42:01 PM »
Hi Nothing

I am afraid I am way beyond Fabio's more conservative and practical interpretation. I never read Dante. I think I have written about infatuation and unrequited love here (perhaps three years ago - I do not remember) and I can guess it was cringe-worthy. In a nutshell, unrequited love is a beautiful thing, you have it forever, it is always in your thoughts. What starts out as a horrid disease becomes a positive experience.

Opus, I don't claim my thoughts are applicable to all, of course not. Maybe I'm wrong, but I had to point out Fabs going off the rails a bit, you agree with him?

Those considerations seem utterly crazy if you haven't even begun a simple conversation of sorts. I'm saying why are thoughts of love even on the table here?

Unless you are Dante and have pangs of unrequited love. If so then may God have mercy on you, a horrible condition to be in.
Thanks Opie, this is an area that you have demonstrated before is your forte. I have nothing to add, but perhaps again I am wrong in making the distinction between Dante's courtly love and modern notions of unrequited love, I think our social situations are starkly different. Maybe it can be used positively as a muse, but yeah I think where that can be a beautiful thing.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #94 on: April 01, 2015, 07:50:43 PM »
How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?

It is sin to have a girlfriend. You must arrange your marriage.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #95 on: April 03, 2015, 10:29:31 AM »
How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?

It is sin to have a girlfriend. You must arrange your marriage.

I want this too, but i dont know if any girl will accept it.

I even say in acquaintance in front of her i say that i search for girl to marry for.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2015, 10:40:42 AM by Indocern »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #96 on: April 03, 2015, 10:51:18 AM »
How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?

It is sin to have a girlfriend. You must arrange your marriage.

I want this too, but i dont know if any girl will accept it.

I even say in acquaintance in front of her i say that i search for girl to marry for.

I think pravoslavac was joking. No one is going to arrange your marriage for you.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #97 on: April 03, 2015, 08:24:06 PM »
I want this too, but i dont know if any girl will accept it.

I even say in acquaintance in front of her i say that i search for girl to marry for.

No woman will accept to marry a stranger. What kind of reaction do you expect when you make such comments in front of her? Jumping up and down and going 'oh, pick me, pick me!'? ::)

Tell her father that you're interested. He can't make her have you, or date you, or even like you, but in the worst of cases, he can let you down gently.
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Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #98 on: April 03, 2015, 08:31:11 PM »
I want this too, but i dont know if any girl will accept it.

I even say in acquaintance in front of her i say that i search for girl to marry for.

No woman will accept to marry a stranger. What kind of reaction do you expect when you make such comments in front of her? Jumping up and down and going 'oh, pick me, pick me!'? ::)

Tell her father that you're interested. He can't make her have you, or date you, or even like you, but in the worst of cases, he can let you down gently.

How do you know they're strangers? He says they're acquaintances in Church. Do you know something about him the rest of us don't? Since otherwise I don't get why you're being so hostile to him. Let him ask her out and let her decide whether she wants to do so. She's over 30 for Pete's sake; she doesn't need Daddy to make all her life decisions.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #99 on: April 03, 2015, 08:38:26 PM »
I want this too, but i dont know if any girl will accept it.

I even say in acquaintance in front of her i say that i search for girl to marry for.

No woman will accept to marry a stranger. What kind of reaction do you expect when you make such comments in front of her? Jumping up and down and going 'oh, pick me, pick me!'? ::)

Tell her father that you're interested. He can't make her have you, or date you, or even like you, but in the worst of cases, he can let you down gently.

How do you know they're strangers? He says they're acquaintances in Church. Do you know something about him the rest of us don't? Since otherwise I don't get why you're being so hostile to him. Let him ask her out and let her decide whether she wants to do so. She's over 30 for Pete's sake; she doesn't need Daddy to make all her life decisions.

Mere acquaintances don't qualify as prospective spouses, especially if one side avoids the other.

I only know what the OP has told us about the case, which is not much. What I gather from it, though, is plenty of social awkwardness on both sides, in which case a go-between could be useful. I'm not suggesting he go ask her father for her hand. Asking whether it would be a good idea to ask her out, on the other hand, could let him know in advance if she's just shy or really wants none of him.

Alternatively, he can leave well alone. And there's nothing hostile in this or any other suggestion I've made.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #100 on: April 03, 2015, 08:50:54 PM »
I want this too, but i dont know if any girl will accept it.

I even say in acquaintance in front of her i say that i search for girl to marry for.

No woman will accept to marry a stranger. What kind of reaction do you expect when you make such comments in front of her? Jumping up and down and going 'oh, pick me, pick me!'? ::)

Tell her father that you're interested. He can't make her have you, or date you, or even like you, but in the worst of cases, he can let you down gently.

How do you know they're strangers? He says they're acquaintances in Church. Do you know something about him the rest of us don't? Since otherwise I don't get why you're being so hostile to him. Let him ask her out and let her decide whether she wants to do so. She's over 30 for Pete's sake; she doesn't need Daddy to make all her life decisions.

Mere acquaintances don't qualify as prospective spouses, especially if one side avoids the other.

I only know what the OP has told us about the case, which is not much. What I gather from it, though, is plenty of social awkwardness on both sides, in which case a go-between could be useful. I'm not suggesting he go ask her father for her hand. Asking whether it would be a good idea to ask her out, on the other hand, could let him know in advance if she's just shy or really wants none of him.

Alternatively, he can leave well alone. And there's nothing hostile in this or any other suggestion I've made.

I got your hostility from what seems to be your too quick assumption that this woman doesn't like him or is deliberately avoiding him. When I questioned Indocern about how she "avoided" him, all he got was that she walked past him on the street one day, after he had failed to say "Hello" to her. So to me what's going on is that  he's shy and expecting her to make the first move. As we all know, even if she did like him, she is unlikely to do so because that is not expected in most cultures, including, I imagine, Bulgaria: it's the man's prerogative to approach a woman he likes.

I get the problem with awkwardness, but honestly I don't see how to avoid it, as long as it's up to the man to initiate things. In my experience, relationships don't just happen. Someone has to take a risk and ask someone out, and accept the possibility of rejection. And if you're a pious person, you're going to want to look for prospective spouses in church, which means, if rejected, you are still going to be brother and sister in Christ and have to deal with it somehow.

But having said that, I like you're idea of go-betweens, and I wish more churches had active matchmakers and such. It does solve the problem of awkwardness quite nicely. And I agree her father, the priest, could be a very good go-between in this instance.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #101 on: April 04, 2015, 05:16:41 AM »
Thank you very much to both of you for the fully comments. I will have them in given.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #102 on: April 04, 2015, 07:41:16 PM »
What did she mean by "everyone is defined by God"?

She mean that if it is destined to get together we will get together.

Ok. A bit vague but it sounds like she's open to the possibility. So you need to ask her out next. She might say yes, she might say no.

I am bashful.

Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

I'm not sure I agree with this. Maybe that worked in the old days, not today it will just make you creepy. No gifts until at least the second date. Doing it sooner makes you look like a stalker, especially if you're a shy guy like me who already comes off as creepy by default.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #103 on: April 04, 2015, 07:46:13 PM »
I agree with Achronos on that one.

Although I don't think a casual fling with the daughter of the priest is a good thing. It could get awkward.

Not to mention Confession. What if a person confesses lust/sexual related sins? It's going to make it very awkward as that priest will be worried about his daughter.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #104 on: April 04, 2015, 07:58:51 PM »
I agree with Achronos on that one.

Although I don't think a casual fling with the daughter of the priest is a good thing. It could get awkward.

Not to mention Confession. What if a person confesses lust/sexual related sins? It's going to make it very awkward as that priest will be worried about his daughter.

He doesn't confess to that priest.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #105 on: April 04, 2015, 08:05:42 PM »
Touche.  Awkwardness at Church kind of sucks.

Especially for Orthodox people in America where if things get too awkward, it isn't as simple as driving to the other Orthodox Church down the street like Evangelicals can with various Protestant Churches. This is the one reason I've more or less avoided asking girls out at my own Church. I don't want to bring social awkwardness into this sphere of my life.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #106 on: April 04, 2015, 08:26:38 PM »
This is important. You're supposed to marry in your faith, but your primary fishing pool is off limits because of awkwardness. We need a serious thread with dating advice for orthodox on how to deal with this.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #107 on: April 04, 2015, 10:09:23 PM »
Give her a small box of chocolates and a pretty bouquet of flowers with a little card that says, "Let's go have some coffee."
You need not say a word. The chocolates and flowers will say all.

That would have me utterly creeped out, but hey, what do I know? I couldn't even master the technique of saying no while meaning yes. ::)

Actually I agree. It's coming on a little strong.

It's best to have an engagement ring ready upon the first meeting.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #108 on: April 05, 2015, 12:49:34 AM »
This is important. You're supposed to marry in your faith, but your primary fishing pool is off limits because of awkwardness. We need a serious thread with dating advice for orthodox on how to deal with this.

It ain't going to happen. Most of us will just marry heretics and the few that marry within the faith will marry nominally Orthodox mail order spouses.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #109 on: April 05, 2015, 01:15:44 AM »
Here's what happens when you don't tell the girl that you like her until much later in life.

When I was around 9 or 10, there was a younger girl (7 or 8?) who liked me and used to tease me in church.  After she teased me, I chased her around the social hall during coffee hour.  I wasn't ready then to explore love.  I didn't want to embarrass myself around her and suppressed my feelings for her for 3 decades.  I met her future husband on a couple of Holy Saturday morning services and the experience sailed over my head.  I would think about her briefly from time to time when I felt down.

After 3 decades, now that I've gained understanding over my feelings, she's happily married with 2 kids.  She and I still interact on social media and see each other on occasion in church

Moral of the story, if she's interested in you and you're unsure of your own feelings, err on the side of caution and get to know her a little better.  Your feelings for her might get stronger with time and something positive is likely to develop.  If no feelings develop and you're honest about how you feel towards her, at least you know where you stand and there are no regrets.   :)
« Last Edit: April 05, 2015, 01:17:52 AM by SolEX01 »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #110 on: April 05, 2015, 01:17:41 AM »
This is important. You're supposed to marry in your faith, but your primary fishing pool is off limits because of awkwardness. We need a serious thread with dating advice for orthodox on how to deal with this.

It ain't going to happen. Most of us will just marry heretics and the few that marry within the faith will marry nominally Orthodox mail order spouses.

Better not to marry at all than to marry someone who will harm your faith. Faith comes first. There's nothing wrong with singleness or celibacy, no matter what secular culture with all its jabs at "40 year old virgins" would tell you.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #111 on: April 05, 2015, 01:18:57 AM »
Here's what happens when you don't tell the girl that you like her until much later in life.

When I was around 9 or 10, there was a younger girl (7 or 8?) who liked me and used to tease me in church.  After she teased me, I chased her around the social hall during coffee hour.  I wasn't ready then to explore love.  I didn't want to embarrass myself around her and suppressed my feelings for her for 3 decades.  I met her future husband on a couple of Holy Saturday morning services and the experience sailed over my head.  I would think about her briefly from time to time when I felt down.

After 3 decades, now that I've gained understanding over my feelings, she's happily married with 2 kids.  She and I still interact on social media and see each other on occasion.

Moral of the story, if she's interested in you and you're unsure of your own feelings, err on the side of caution and get to know her a little better.  Your feelings for her might get stronger with time and something positive is likely to develop.  If no feelings develop and you're honest about how you feel towards her, at least you know where you stand and there are no regrets.   :)

Who are you addressing? Indocern has the opposite problem: he's sure he likes her, but he's unsure of her feelings for him.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #112 on: April 05, 2015, 01:21:39 AM »
This is important. You're supposed to marry in your faith, but your primary fishing pool is off limits because of awkwardness. We need a serious thread with dating advice for orthodox on how to deal with this.

It ain't going to happen. Most of us will just marry heretics and the few that marry within the faith will marry nominally Orthodox mail order spouses.

Better not to marry at all than to marry someone who will harm your faith. Faith comes first. There's nothing wrong with singleness or celibacy, no matter what secular culture with all its jabs at "40 year old virgins" would tell you.

Or how about we figure out how to overcome awkwardness and shyness if that's all that stands in the way.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #113 on: April 05, 2015, 01:22:13 AM »
Who are you addressing? Indocern has the opposite problem: he's sure he likes her, but he's unsure of her feelings for him.

I'm responding to the "How to find a girl" part of the OP.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #114 on: April 05, 2015, 01:48:26 AM »
Here's what happens when you don't tell the girl that you like her until much later in life.

Story of my life...
« Last Edit: April 05, 2015, 01:48:45 AM by Volnutt »
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Offline JamesR

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #115 on: April 05, 2015, 03:48:11 AM »
This is important. You're supposed to marry in your faith, but your primary fishing pool is off limits because of awkwardness. We need a serious thread with dating advice for orthodox on how to deal with this.

It ain't going to happen. Most of us will just marry heretics and the few that marry within the faith will marry nominally Orthodox mail order spouses.

Better not to marry at all than to marry someone who will harm your faith. Faith comes first. There's nothing wrong with singleness or celibacy, no matter what secular culture with all its jabs at "40 year old virgins" would tell you.

Or how about we figure out how to overcome awkwardness and shyness if that's all that stands in the way.

Well it's extra awkward for me because I'm 19 and the woman I like is 15. Not only am I facing estrangement and awkwardness from my Church--and keep in mind it's not as simple as switching Churches since Orthodox Churches are so rare--but potential legal problems if it came down to it. I long for the day when we'll go back to trading women for goats. The problem is that no one knows how to make females happy anymore. If you act nice and old fashioned like the shy folks, they'll say you're a wimp, misogynist who sees women as property, and a nasty traditionalist. You act like an arrogant jerk--the typical men women fall for--and you're a rapist.

I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later. It's better to not love. Most Western women aren't worth it anyway. They expect total monogamy and yet they want the liberty to be completely unattractive and not make any effort to look good since that's misogynistic. They want houses, money, and expensive SUVs all the while convincing themselves that they're queens. They take 90% of your stuff in the divorce court, have no intention to submit, launch false rape charges. Watch out. A bad woman can be your downfall.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #116 on: April 05, 2015, 04:09:48 AM »
but potential legal problems if it came down to it.

Don't have sex with her.  Problem solved.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #117 on: April 05, 2015, 04:20:22 AM »
but potential legal problems if it came down to it.

Don't have sex with her.  Problem solved.

lol exactly

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #118 on: April 05, 2015, 07:46:49 AM »
Who are you addressing? Indocern has the opposite problem: he's sure he likes her, but he's unsure of her feelings for him.

I'm responding to the "How to find a girl" part of the OP.

OK, but your answer doesn't really address the OP's specific problems as he's explained them. And I suspect most guys are in his boat rather than yours: they're sure they like someone but are unsure how to approach them.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #119 on: April 05, 2015, 12:01:43 PM »
When you need a bit of dating advice, it's best to follow the advice of Grace Jones in Conan the Destroyer.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #120 on: April 05, 2015, 12:23:50 PM »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #121 on: April 05, 2015, 12:39:47 PM »
When you need a bit of dating advice, it's best to follow the advice of Grace Jones in Conan the Destroyer.

Are you impugning his masculinity?

;)

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #122 on: April 05, 2015, 05:06:01 PM »
Who are you addressing? Indocern has the opposite problem: he's sure he likes her, but he's unsure of her feelings for him.

I'm responding to the "How to find a girl" part of the OP.

OK, but your answer doesn't really address the OP's specific problems as he's explained them. And I suspect most guys are in his boat rather than yours: they're sure they like someone but are unsure how to approach them.

I saw common ground between my story and the OP's.  The OP has issues expressing his feelings towards a woman that he likes and approaching her; so did I.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #123 on: April 05, 2015, 05:20:08 PM »
Well it's extra awkward for me because I'm 19 and the woman I like is 15. Not only am I facing estrangement and awkwardness from my Church--and keep in mind it's not as simple as switching Churches since Orthodox Churches are so rare--but potential legal problems if it came down to it. I long for the day when we'll go back to trading women for goats. The problem is that no one knows how to make females happy anymore. If you act nice and old fashioned like the shy folks, they'll say you're a wimp, misogynist who sees women as property, and a nasty traditionalist. You act like an arrogant jerk--the typical men women fall for--and you're a rapist.

I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later. It's better to not love. Most Western women aren't worth it anyway. They expect total monogamy and yet they want the liberty to be completely unattractive and not make any effort to look good since that's misogynistic. They want houses, money, and expensive SUVs all the while convincing themselves that they're queens. They take 90% of your stuff in the divorce court, have no intention to submit, launch false rape charges. Watch out. A bad woman can be your downfall.

I don't have to worry about these things with my 100% Greek friend.  A woman rarely forgets her first love.  I've seen marriages, lasting for decades, destroyed when the wife reaches out to her first love on social media.  I can feel like I can be myself when I interact with my friend.  I can't do that with online dating for some of the reasons you list above.

JamesR, my friend would kick your rear end (and mine too which why I never want to upset her).   ;)
« Last Edit: April 05, 2015, 05:46:34 PM by SolEX01 »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #124 on: April 05, 2015, 05:27:39 PM »
I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later.

Ah, how utterly wrong you are. Those feelings are the most sublime and poetical. Love burns brightest in memory and hope.
« Last Edit: April 05, 2015, 05:29:27 PM by Cyrillic »

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #125 on: April 05, 2015, 05:50:40 PM »
I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later.

Ah, how utterly wrong you are. Those feelings are the most sublime and poetical. Love burns brightest in memory and hope.

Yes why don't you tell him how he should feel?

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #126 on: April 05, 2015, 05:51:50 PM »
Who are you addressing? Indocern has the opposite problem: he's sure he likes her, but he's unsure of her feelings for him.

I'm responding to the "How to find a girl" part of the OP.

OK, but your answer doesn't really address the OP's specific problems as he's explained them. And I suspect most guys are in his boat rather than yours: they're sure they like someone but are unsure how to approach them.

I saw common ground between my story and the OP's.  The OP has issues expressing his feelings towards a woman that he likes and approaching her; so did I.

And to that extent your contribution made sense. The conclusion you drew from it at the end seemed largely irrelevant to his predicament, though.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #127 on: April 05, 2015, 05:54:03 PM »
I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later.

Ah, how utterly wrong you are. Those feelings are the most sublime and poetical. Love burns brightest in memory and hope.

Yes why don't you tell him how he should feel?

Of course, but isn't that what I've been doing?

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #128 on: April 05, 2015, 05:56:01 PM »
I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later.

Ah, how utterly wrong you are. Those feelings are the most sublime and poetical. Love burns brightest in memory and hope.

Yes why don't you tell him how he should feel?

Of course, but isn't that what I've been doing?

Whatever. Let's try not to make yet another thread about JamesR.

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #129 on: April 05, 2015, 05:56:53 PM »
I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later.

Ah, how utterly wrong you are. Those feelings are the most sublime and poetical. Love burns brightest in memory and hope.

Yes why don't you tell him how he should feel?

Of course, but isn't that what I've been doing?

Whatever. Let's try not to make yet another thread about JamesR.

Why not? It would be most amusing. I, for one, like his personal stories.

Offline SolEX01

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #130 on: April 05, 2015, 05:58:32 PM »
Who are you addressing? Indocern has the opposite problem: he's sure he likes her, but he's unsure of her feelings for him.

I'm responding to the "How to find a girl" part of the OP.

OK, but your answer doesn't really address the OP's specific problems as he's explained them. And I suspect most guys are in his boat rather than yours: they're sure they like someone but are unsure how to approach them.

I saw common ground between my story and the OP's.  The OP has issues expressing his feelings towards a woman that he likes and approaching her; so did I.

And to that extent your contribution made sense. The conclusion you drew from it at the end seemed largely irrelevant to his predicament, though.

What's wrong with encouraging the OP?  That's how I interpreted the OP's request - he needed encouragement to approach the woman that he was interested in.

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #131 on: April 05, 2015, 06:04:16 PM »
Who are you addressing? Indocern has the opposite problem: he's sure he likes her, but he's unsure of her feelings for him.

I'm responding to the "How to find a girl" part of the OP.

OK, but your answer doesn't really address the OP's specific problems as he's explained them. And I suspect most guys are in his boat rather than yours: they're sure they like someone but are unsure how to approach them.

I saw common ground between my story and the OP's.  The OP has issues expressing his feelings towards a woman that he likes and approaching her; so did I.

And to that extent your contribution made sense. The conclusion you drew from it at the end seemed largely irrelevant to his predicament, though.

What's wrong with encouraging the OP?  That's how I interpreted the OP's request - he needed encouragement to approach the woman that he was interested in.

OK, OK. I totally agree, he should get some more courage and tell her his feelings. Or at least talk to her dad and let him know. It sounds like he's already gotten a blessing from his own spiritual father to proceed.

Offline JamesR

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #132 on: April 05, 2015, 06:30:13 PM »
Maybe this isn't the best way to look at it, but to your benefit, take into account that if this woman is over 30 years old, she is probably feeling very insecure and her clock is ticking. Women get like this right before they reach the middle ages of life. This essentially means that you may have an easier time making your move, since she'll be flattered by the first man to make a move on her.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #133 on: April 05, 2015, 06:35:00 PM »
Maybe this isn't the best way to look at it, but to your benefit, take into account that if this woman is over 30 years old, she is probably feeling very insecure and her clock is ticking. Women get like this right before they reach the middle ages of life. This essentially means that you may have an easier time making your move, since she'll be flattered by the first man to make a move on her.

Maybe. Or maybe she's decided she doesn't want to marry, or doesn't want to marry someone younger. It's all just speculation until Indocern actually asks her, either directly or through her father.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #134 on: April 07, 2015, 03:09:11 PM »
I'd also add that while it's painful to lose out because you never tried, it's even more painful to love and lose. Shakespeare was wrong. It is better to never love at all. I dated one girl in my whole life for a few months and it still hurts me a few years after the fact. You wake up at night with chills, memories and dreams of the events that seem so real and haunting. And you cry out of nostalgia. You go to places that you frequented on your dates, and suddenly the pain dawns on you like a broken leg. A simple shop, bench, or table that you once frequented on your date becomes a nightmare when you return to it years later.

Ah, how utterly wrong you are. Those feelings are the most sublime and poetical. Love burns brightest in memory and hope.

I find that the more you love and lose, the more your metaphorical heart expands and contracts, the harder it gets, like any other muscle. 
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #135 on: April 07, 2015, 03:09:54 PM »
When you need a bit of dating advice, it's best to follow the advice of Grace Jones in Conan the Destroyer.

Anything that cannot be solved with Conan quotes or Amon Amarth lyrics, either you aren't trying hard enough or it just isn't worth solving.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #136 on: June 21, 2015, 01:35:06 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2015, 01:37:07 PM by Indocern »

Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #137 on: June 21, 2015, 01:38:08 PM »
She doesn't have email? What is this? Is she from Pakistan? If she liked you, she would have given you her email or any other way of contact. Give up on her.
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #138 on: June 21, 2015, 01:43:28 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #139 on: June 21, 2015, 01:45:36 PM »
She doesn't have email? What is this? Is she from Pakistan? If she liked you, she would have given you her email or any other way of contact. Give up on her.

Thanks for the answer.

Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #140 on: June 21, 2015, 01:51:55 PM »
 You are welcome, and remember, dignity goes before girls, always.
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Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #141 on: June 21, 2015, 01:55:16 PM »
Don't equate dignity with your comfort zone, though.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #142 on: June 21, 2015, 01:56:40 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #143 on: June 21, 2015, 01:58:25 PM »
and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

You asked her mom?

Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #144 on: June 21, 2015, 01:59:02 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.


Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

See, the girls that like you will do a lot of work to reach you. The girls that are not interested, they will act kind before you and promise to see you again and then they ignore you.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2015, 01:59:45 PM by Pravoslavac »
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #145 on: June 21, 2015, 02:01:46 PM »
and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

You asked her mom?

I gived my Skype to her mother to deliver it to her.

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #146 on: June 21, 2015, 02:02:10 PM »
Just give her one of these

It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #147 on: June 21, 2015, 02:02:58 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #148 on: June 21, 2015, 02:03:23 PM »
and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

You asked her mom?

I gived my Skype to her mother to deliver it to her.

You asked her for her contact info through her mom?

Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Perhaps that's how it works in some parts of Eastern Europe.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2015, 02:04:19 PM by Cyrillic »

Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #149 on: June 21, 2015, 02:04:26 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Isn't it safer to see him first through Skype, and then in person?
"Bullets comrades! Not candies! Bullets will save us from the US imperialists!" - Comrade Kim Jong Il

Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #150 on: June 21, 2015, 02:06:37 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Isn't it safer to see him first through Skype, and then in person?

Don't you even read, bro? She's seen him and talked to him, she just doesn't want to give him her email or Skype ID. Like the old days when we didn't give out our phone numbers like that.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #151 on: June 21, 2015, 02:08:54 PM »
Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Perhaps that's how it works in some parts of Eastern Europe.

The way it can work, even in Eastern Europe, is 'Is it OK with you if I call her?', not 'Tell her to call me.' Proper girls don't initiate contact, and all that.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #152 on: June 21, 2015, 02:09:23 PM »
Don't you even read, bro?

It isn't easy to read Indocern's posts. I have to read them several times to be able to make a guess about what they mean.

The way it can work, even in Eastern Europe, is 'Is it OK with you if I call her?', not 'Tell her to call me.' Proper girls don't initiate contact, and all that.

That was what I was thinking about.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2015, 02:13:36 PM by Cyrillic »

Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #153 on: June 21, 2015, 02:11:16 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Isn't it safer to see him first through Skype, and then in person?

Don't you even read, bro? She's seen him and talked to him, she just doesn't want to give him her email or Skype ID. Like the old days when we didn't give out our phone numbers like that.

These are not old days. These are new days, she doesn't like him.
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Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #154 on: June 21, 2015, 02:12:10 PM »
Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Perhaps that's how it works in some parts of Eastern Europe.

The way it can work, even in Eastern Europe, is 'Is it OK with you if I call her?', not 'Tell her to call me.' Proper girls don't initiate contact, and all that.

Clearly you haven't been in Eastern Europe. Our women are more liberal than those in the western one.
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Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #155 on: June 21, 2015, 02:13:56 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Isn't it safer to see him first through Skype, and then in person?

Don't you even read, bro? She's seen him and talked to him, she just doesn't want to give him her email or Skype ID. Like the old days when we didn't give out our phone numbers like that.

These are not old days. These are new days, she doesn't like him.

Things have certainly got off on the wrong foot. He's been clumsy, and I suspect so has she.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #156 on: June 21, 2015, 02:14:36 PM »
Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Perhaps that's how it works in some parts of Eastern Europe.

The way it can work, even in Eastern Europe, is 'Is it OK with you if I call her?', not 'Tell her to call me.' Proper girls don't initiate contact, and all that.

Clearly you haven't been in Eastern Europe. Our women are more liberal than those in the western one.

This one apparently isn't.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #157 on: June 21, 2015, 02:15:55 PM »
Are we still talking about the girl from page 1?

Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #158 on: June 21, 2015, 02:17:08 PM »
Are we still talking about the girl from page 1?

We're talking about the girl from #136, which might or might not be the original subject.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #159 on: June 21, 2015, 02:18:02 PM »
Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Perhaps that's how it works in some parts of Eastern Europe.

The way it can work, even in Eastern Europe, is 'Is it OK with you if I call her?', not 'Tell her to call me.' Proper girls don't initiate contact, and all that.

Clearly you haven't been in Eastern Europe. Our women are more liberal than those in the western one.

This one apparently isn't.

Maybe... but that doesn't mean she is retarded shy cant give a contact to a guy who likes her.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2015, 02:18:54 PM by Pravoslavac »
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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #160 on: June 21, 2015, 02:18:26 PM »
Are we still talking about the girl from page 1?

We're talking about the girl from #136, which might or might not be the original subject.

I was wondering about whether the girls from #2 and #136 are one and the same.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #161 on: June 21, 2015, 02:21:47 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

I think when I meet her again to ask her for coffee and then to ask her for e-mail or telephone, but I don't know if she will accept to go to date.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #162 on: June 21, 2015, 02:25:38 PM »
and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

You asked her mom?

I gived my Skype to her mother to deliver it to her.

You asked her for her contact info through her mom?

Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Perhaps that's how it works in some parts of Eastern Europe.

Just this girl is such the other is not such.

Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #163 on: June 21, 2015, 02:28:30 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

I think when I meet her again to ask her for coffee and then to ask her for e-mail or telephone, but I don't know if she will accept to go to date.

Well, if she doesn't accept, there's nothing more for you to do. It will be time to just call it quits and look elsewhere.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #164 on: June 21, 2015, 02:35:37 PM »
I meet this girl and I asked her for Skype and she say that she dont have and then I asked her for e-mail and she say we will make. But I dont asked her for coffee and I sorry for this now I must wait whole eternity to meet her again and ask her for coffee. I lost my chance.

Yes, you did things a bit backwards there. Asking for personal contacts right off the bat can come across as creepy. Arrange a coffee meeting, and if that goes well, then ask for some way to contact her. Or, even better, wait until she offers.

Before time I gived to her mother Skype and her mother was gived to her but she don't write to me and her mother say to me that she never first will write.

I'm afraid you'll have to find the courage to arrange for a meeting or two in person before she's comfortable enough to trust you with messenger IDs or email. Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

I think when I meet her again to ask her for coffee and then to ask her for e-mail or telephone, but I don't know if she will accept to go to date.

Well, if she doesn't accept, there's nothing more for you to do. It will be time to just call it quits and look elsewhere.

Thank you.

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #165 on: June 21, 2015, 02:37:55 PM »
Thanks to all for the opinions for my question.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #166 on: June 21, 2015, 04:00:44 PM »
Thanks to all for the opinions for my question.

I give you credit for trying, not getting discouraged, and sharing your experiences here without fear, even though the advice you get can sometimes be quite stupid.  God bless you.
Mor Ephrem is a nice guy.  Just say sorry and it will all be ok. Say I had things that were inside troubling me but I didn't know how to express appropriately. I will not behave that way again but I am seeking help.

...if you feel Mor really is in spiritual danger, pray the Jesus prayer for him.   :police:

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #167 on: June 21, 2015, 04:02:48 PM »
Thanks to all for the opinions for my question.

I give you credit for trying, not getting discouraged, and sharing your experiences here without fear, even though the advice you get can sometimes be quite stupid.  God bless you.

Thank you.

Offline Czar Lazar

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #168 on: June 21, 2015, 06:02:05 PM »
Sorry, going through her mother made the whole thing even creepier.

Perhaps that's how it works in some parts of Eastern Europe.

The way it can work, even in Eastern Europe, is 'Is it OK with you if I call her?', not 'Tell her to call me.' Proper girls don't initiate contact, and all that.

Clearly you haven't been in Eastern Europe. Our women are more liberal than those in the western one.

An over generalization that is perhaps applies the women you know or the ones at your "theological school"

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #169 on: June 27, 2015, 12:29:42 PM »
I asked her for coffee and she say "No". Then I asked her what happened about e-mail she say she dont haved time to make, and I say "Dont worry, when you make it you will give it to me".
« Last Edit: June 27, 2015, 12:29:58 PM by Indocern »

Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #170 on: June 27, 2015, 12:40:55 PM »
I asked her for coffee and she say "No". Then I asked her what happened about e-mail she say she dont haved time to make, and I say "Dont worry, when you make it you will give it to me".

Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, she won't. She's trying to tell you she isn't interested, and is as clumsy as you have been. Stop insisting and look elsewhere.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #171 on: June 27, 2015, 12:52:34 PM »
I asked her for coffee and she say "No". Then I asked her what happened about e-mail she say she dont haved time to make, and I say "Dont worry, when you make it you will give it to me".

Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, she won't. She's trying to tell you she isn't interested, and is as clumsy as you have been. Stop insisting and look elsewhere.

I want only her i can't stop insisting and i don't have other girls to look at.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2015, 12:54:49 PM by Indocern »

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #172 on: June 27, 2015, 12:54:37 PM »
I asked her for coffee and she say "No". Then I asked her what happened about e-mail she say she dont haved time to make, and I say "Dont worry, when you make it you will give it to me".

Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, she won't. She's trying to tell you she isn't interested, and is as clumsy as you have been. Stop insisting and look elsewhere.

I want only her i can't stop insisting.

Insisting won't improve your chances. You'll get over her.

Offline Luke

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #173 on: June 27, 2015, 12:56:20 PM »

Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, she won't. She's trying to tell you she isn't interested, and is as clumsy as you have been. Stop insisting and look elsewhere.
+++

Offline Luke

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #174 on: June 27, 2015, 12:57:37 PM »
I want only her i can't stop insisting and i don't have other girls to look at.
That can get you into legal trouble.  Listen to Arachne and move on.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2015, 12:58:05 PM by Gamliel »

Offline Indocern

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #175 on: June 27, 2015, 01:53:44 PM »
I asked her for coffee and she say "No". Then I asked her what happened about e-mail she say she dont haved time to make, and I say "Dont worry, when you make it you will give it to me".

Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, she won't. She's trying to tell you she isn't interested, and is as clumsy as you have been. Stop insisting and look elsewhere.

No problem. Person must not and to hope in vain.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2015, 01:58:31 PM by Indocern »

Offline Minnesotan

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #176 on: June 28, 2015, 02:07:22 AM »
Just remember, Weird Science isn't real.
I'm not going to be posting as much on OC.Net as before. I might stop in once in a while though. But I've come to realize that real life is more important.

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #177 on: July 25, 2015, 10:54:15 AM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #178 on: July 25, 2015, 11:00:55 AM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.

How old are you, Noah?
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #179 on: July 25, 2015, 11:03:37 AM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.

How old are you, Noah?

18. But I'm the child of a marriage counselor.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #180 on: July 25, 2015, 11:10:54 AM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8 ) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish lasy

LOL.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 11:13:22 AM by Cyrillic »

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #181 on: July 25, 2015, 11:15:06 AM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.

How old are you, Noah?

18. But I'm the child of a marriage counselor.

My father is a land surveyor. That doesn't mean I know how to use a theodolite.
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #182 on: July 25, 2015, 11:17:51 AM »
Well, obviously your method of "be nice and smile" hasn't been working, guys. You know why? Because let's face it. Women desire handsome, fit, confident, stylish men. Just like men desire pretty, thin, feminine women. The solution is not to "be yourself." The solution is to make yourself handsome, fit confident, and stylish.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 11:18:30 AM by NoahB »
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #183 on: July 25, 2015, 11:20:15 AM »
I'm speaking as someone who's had more sinful sexual encounters with different women at 18 than your average man has in his entire life. I know what I'm talking about. I'm not proud of it, and it's a sin I struggle with, but I know how to make a guy more desirable to women.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 11:20:43 AM by NoahB »
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #184 on: July 25, 2015, 11:24:37 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #185 on: July 25, 2015, 11:28:10 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

lol, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. My intention is to help out the OP.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #186 on: July 25, 2015, 11:29:22 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

lol, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. My intention is to help out the OP.

It doesn't matter whether I believe you. I'm laughing just as hard.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 11:29:29 AM by Cyrillic »

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #187 on: July 25, 2015, 11:30:34 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

lol, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. My intention is to help out the OP.

It doesn't matter whether I believe you. I'm laughing just as hard.

Yeah, well, at least I don't need to use my girlfriend to type.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #188 on: July 25, 2015, 11:33:59 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

lol, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. My intention is to help out the OP.

It doesn't matter whether I believe you. I'm laughing just as hard.

Yeah, well, at least I don't need to use my girlfriend to type.

I had difficulty not spewing out my drink laughing. Your swaggering braggery amuses me.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 11:35:30 AM by Cyrillic »

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #189 on: July 25, 2015, 11:36:54 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

lol, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. My intention is to help out the OP.

It doesn't matter whether I believe you. I'm laughing just as hard.

Yeah, well, at least I don't need to use my girlfriend to type.

I had difficulty not to spew out my drink laughing.

What are you drinking? Your mom's breast milk? Come on man, that's just nasty
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #190 on: July 25, 2015, 11:39:25 AM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.

Do you even theology?
get rekt, nerd

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #191 on: July 25, 2015, 11:40:45 AM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.

Do you even theology?

The Biblical Method doesn't work anymore. I can't just give 200 shekels to Miriam's dad and then have her start pumping out kids at the age of 15.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline hecma925

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #192 on: July 25, 2015, 11:41:18 AM »
Are you married, NoahB?
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #193 on: July 25, 2015, 11:42:12 AM »
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #194 on: July 25, 2015, 11:43:14 AM »
Are you married, NoahB?

Nope. I need to focus on the "be fruitful" part before I can focus on the "multiply" part.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #195 on: July 25, 2015, 11:46:05 AM »
Jussayin'... no one in the past 50 years ever got a girl by opening doors for ladies.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #196 on: July 25, 2015, 11:47:11 AM »
Jussayin'... no one in the past 50 years ever got a girl by opening doors for ladies.

It's easy to get a "lady" by some of your suggestions, but is it easy to keep said "lady"?
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline hecma925

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #197 on: July 25, 2015, 11:47:47 AM »
Are you married, NoahB?

Nope. I need to focus on the "be fruitful" part before I can focus on the "multiply" part.

I take it you don't know Scripture either then.  Cool.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #198 on: July 25, 2015, 11:49:20 AM »
Jussayin'... no one in the past 50 years ever got a girl by opening doors for ladies.

It's easy to get a "lady" by some of your suggestions, but is it easy to keep said "lady"?

IMO, which isn't worth much on the keeping part, I think it requires just plain ol' perseverance on both their parts, under the blessings of the Sacrament of Matrimony. Love isn't something that just comes to you. That feeling you get in your stomach when you see that one girl is just your body. Love is the actual decision you make to care for and put this person above all else.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #199 on: July 25, 2015, 11:49:33 AM »
Are you married, NoahB?

Nope. I need to focus on the "be fruitful" part before I can focus on the "multiply" part.

I take it you don't know Scripture either then.  Cool.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" would be a good one to learn.
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #200 on: July 25, 2015, 11:50:02 AM »
Are you married, NoahB?

Nope. I need to focus on the "be fruitful" part before I can focus on the "multiply" part.

I take it you don't know Scripture either then.  Cool.

Where exactly does the Bible condemn being confident, manly, and fit to help find a wife?
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #201 on: July 25, 2015, 11:50:12 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

lol, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. My intention is to help out the OP.

It doesn't matter whether I believe you. I'm laughing just as hard.

Yeah, well, at least I don't need to use my girlfriend to type.

I had difficulty not to spew out my drink laughing.

What are you drinking? Your mom's breast milk? Come on man, that's just nasty

Your-mom-jokes... this keeps getting better and better. Please don't stop now.

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #202 on: July 25, 2015, 11:50:49 AM »
Yo Mama jokes are Mor Ephrem's forte. Lets leave them to him.
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #203 on: July 25, 2015, 11:51:09 AM »
Please stop. My sides.

lol, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. My intention is to help out the OP.

It doesn't matter whether I believe you. I'm laughing just as hard.

Yeah, well, at least I don't need to use my girlfriend to type.

I had difficulty not to spew out my drink laughing.

What are you drinking? Your mom's breast milk? Come on man, that's just nasty

Your-mom-jokes... this keeps getting better and better. Please don't stop now.

We're both pointing at eachother and laughing now.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #204 on: July 25, 2015, 11:51:53 AM »
Are you married, NoahB?

Nope. I need to focus on the "be fruitful" part before I can focus on the "multiply" part.

I take it you don't know Scripture either then.  Cool.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" would be a good one to learn.

Cherry picking scripture. Read through the Song of Solomon. External beauty is a major theme.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 11:52:15 AM by NoahB »
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #205 on: July 25, 2015, 11:53:33 AM »
I don't understand the Christian aversion to wanting a pretty wife? To put it vulgarly... if you aren't sexually excited by your wife, how the heck are you supposed to have kids or a truly intimate relationship?
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #206 on: July 25, 2015, 11:55:10 AM »
Are you married, NoahB?

Nope. I need to focus on the "be fruitful" part before I can focus on the "multiply" part.

I take it you don't know Scripture either then.  Cool.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" would be a good one to learn.

Cherry picking scripture. Read through the Song of Solomon. External beauty is a major theme.

I've read the Song of Solomon many times.
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline Theophania

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #207 on: July 25, 2015, 11:56:01 AM »
I don't understand the Christian aversion to wanting a pretty wife? To put it vulgarly... if you aren't sexually excited by your wife, how the heck are you supposed to have kids or a truly intimate relationship?

There is much, much more to sexual attraction than finding someone physically attractive. It's nice to have someone who is physically attractive but looks always wither and fade.
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia.  As a serf or a royal, I know not.  Chances are serf.

Offline Cyrillic

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #208 on: July 25, 2015, 11:58:01 AM »
I don't understand the Christian aversion to wanting a pretty wife? To put it vulgarly... if you aren't sexually excited by your wife, how the heck are you supposed to have kids or a truly intimate relationship?

How pretty do you think wives are after a few decades of marriage? Or are you one of those fellows who dumps his wife and gets himself a Harley and an harlot at age 45?

Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #209 on: July 25, 2015, 12:06:34 PM »
Noah and James would make one hell of a tag team on Saturday nights.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #210 on: July 25, 2015, 12:06:54 PM »
I don't understand the Christian aversion to wanting a pretty wife? To put it vulgarly... if you aren't sexually excited by your wife, how the heck are you supposed to have kids or a truly intimate relationship?

How pretty do you think wives are after a few decades of marriage? Or are you one of those fellows who dumps his wife and gets himself a Harley and an harlot at age 45?

That's after her prime years of childbirth. Who cares? People start having less sex then, anyway. If you take care of yourself while you're young, you won't hit the wall too hard. Just take a look at Caitlyn Jenner. She looks great for her age! (kidding)
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #211 on: July 25, 2015, 12:08:48 PM »
Noah and James would make one hell of a tag team on Saturday nights.

James? Try St. Augustine.

#GetOnMyLevel
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Arachne

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #212 on: July 25, 2015, 12:09:39 PM »
#GetOnMyLevel

Sorry, my flexibility isn't what it used to be. Can't limbo-dance that low.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline NoahB

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #213 on: July 25, 2015, 12:10:59 PM »
#GetOnMyLevel

Sorry, my flexibility isn't what it used to be. Can't limbo-dance that low.

Okay, now I actually got a genuine chuckle out of that one.
"God became man, so that men might become gods." -- St. Athanasius

"His was the word that spake it,
He took the bread and brake it,
And what is word doth make it,
That I believe and take it." - Queen Elizabeth I

Offline Rhinosaur

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #214 on: July 25, 2015, 01:22:02 PM »
Well, obviously your method of "be nice and smile" hasn't been working, guys. You know why? Because let's face it. Women desire handsome, fit, confident, stylish men. Just like men desire pretty, thin, feminine women. The solution is not to "be yourself." The solution is to make yourself handsome, fit confident, and stylish.

Speak for yourself.

Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #215 on: July 25, 2015, 01:26:28 PM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.

JamesRottnek will be converting back ASAP now that we have an indefeasible reason to abandon Anglicanism
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 01:27:21 PM by NicholasMyra »
Quote from: Fr. Thomas Hopko, dystopian parable of the prodigal son
...you can imagine so-called healing services of the pigpen. The books that could be written, you know: Life in the Pigpen. How to Cope in the Pigpen. Being Happy in the Pigpen. Surviving in the Pigpen. And then there could be counselling, for people who feel unhappy in the pigpen, to try to get them to come to terms with the pigpen, and to accept the pigpen.

Offline Iconodule

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #216 on: July 25, 2015, 01:31:20 PM »
I was gonna say... your Anglicanism is showing.
Quote
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Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #217 on: July 25, 2015, 01:32:25 PM »
I remember when our old buddy Sauron tried this schtick on the forums and it did not end well.
Quote from: Fr. Thomas Hopko, dystopian parable of the prodigal son
...you can imagine so-called healing services of the pigpen. The books that could be written, you know: Life in the Pigpen. How to Cope in the Pigpen. Being Happy in the Pigpen. Surviving in the Pigpen. And then there could be counselling, for people who feel unhappy in the pigpen, to try to get them to come to terms with the pigpen, and to accept the pigpen.

Offline RobS

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #218 on: July 25, 2015, 01:58:18 PM »
1) Read this site until your eyes hurt: http://www.returnofkings.com/

2) Learn game (ignore the sexually immoral intentions of most who follow it, the system itself is not inherently sinful)

3) Hit the gym (if you're fat, lose weight, if you're skinny, gain muscle)

4) Update your style (http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/)

5) Don't put women on a pedestal. They are a small part of your busy life. If she rejects you, who cares? There are a thousand girls just like her. Individuality is a myth. There are no special snowflakes.

6) Unless you're going for just sex (which is sinful, so don't do it), don't even bother dating someone who isn't Eastern or Oriental Orthodox. Conservative Protestant girls will get their panties in a bunch over everything about Orthodoxy (from the fact we have bishops to the fact we use incense), liberal protestants will fill you with the misery of feminist, progressive nonsense, and Roman Catholics will lock you into a power struggle over which Church gets sacramental jurisdiction over your marriage and family. The only non-Orthodox I could see working out well would be conservative Anglo-Catholics, but they are a very rare breed nowadays.

7) Make sure she's pretty. Being sexually attracted to your wife is a huge part of having a healthy marriage relationship.

8) Above all remember this: Nice guys finish last.

How old are you, Noah?

18. But I'm the child of a marriage counselor.
You need to try a little harder with the Red Pill/manosphere thing.

And speaking of which some of your points might be valid, but as soon as that turns into a game of manipulating the opposite sex for whatever desires/needs you want that's a problem.

There's no special secret or formula towards making a great relationship
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 02:00:10 PM by nothing »
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Offline RobS

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #219 on: July 25, 2015, 02:13:52 PM »
I don't understand the Christian aversion to wanting a pretty wife? To put it vulgarly... if you aren't sexually excited by your wife, how the heck are you supposed to have kids or a truly intimate relationship?
Look I agree that sculpting your body, improving your wardrobe and personality, changing your diet, etc will go a long way towards attracting the opposite sex (at the same time boosting your confidence and feeling good about yourself). Some things are out of your control like having a strong jawline.

But I think for a relationship to work out great really depends on the people within it, and yes I do think being great in bed is important (it certainly matters to me), but there is more to it than just sex. Shared interests and goals, happiness and love are another. You gotta get along with each other. It should be a mix of these things. The more closely aligned your characters, desires and aspirations are, the better the match and the more likely for whatever relationship that comes out of it will be. Whether or not it lasts depends on a lot of factors as well - whether both partners are able to remain committed towards each other, whether their behavior is one that is compatible with the other, and so forth.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2015, 02:15:34 PM by nothing »
"The business of the Christian is nothing else than to be ever preparing for death (μελεπᾷν ἀποθνήσκειν)."

— Saint Irenaeus of Lyons, Fragment XI

Modernist thinking and being consists of nothing but uncritical acceptance.

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #220 on: July 25, 2015, 02:16:07 PM »
Noah and James would make one hell of a tag team on Saturday nights.

I never got the impression that JamesR and Shiny would get along well together. I mean, Shiny might have defended him at times, but I think that was mostly because orthonorm defended him. Though I guess it's also possible that he just found him an entertaining diversion from the normal stuff that gets posted.
get rekt, nerd

Offline RobS

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #221 on: July 25, 2015, 02:24:49 PM »
Noah and James would make one hell of a tag team on Saturday nights.

I never got the impression that JamesR and Shiny would get along well together. I mean, Shiny might have defended him at times, but I think that was mostly because orthonorm defended him. Though I guess it's also possible that he just found him an entertaining diversion from the normal stuff that gets posted.
ya u rly shouldn't go there.
"The business of the Christian is nothing else than to be ever preparing for death (μελεπᾷν ἀποθνήσκειν)."

— Saint Irenaeus of Lyons, Fragment XI

Modernist thinking and being consists of nothing but uncritical acceptance.

Offline Severian

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Re: How to find a girl or how to say to one girl that i like her?
« Reply #222 on: July 25, 2015, 02:27:15 PM »
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"I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die [...] These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." -The Lord Jesus Christ

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