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Author Topic: Non-Orthodox Spouse  (Read 1333 times) Average Rating: 0
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aserb
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« on: June 15, 2005, 02:36:57 PM »

Anybody out there convert to Orthodoxy and not your spouse?  How did he/she react? How are you handling it now?
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jlerms
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« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2005, 04:14:29 PM »

Dear Aserb,
  I posted a message yesterday about this subject.  Here is a copy to you.  I would like to hear from you as well.
God bless you,   Juliana

Augustine,
  I wanted to thank you for your input on the matter of mixed marriages.  I knew my husband for six years before we were married.  He is a very honorable man who was brought up in the Jewish faith.  Actually, his father is a russian jew and his mother converted (she was italian catholic).  I also was a lapsed roman catholic.  During my college years, I fell away from christianity and explored buddhism and hinduism.  I was confused and searching for something but  then basically gave up.  ÃƒÆ’‚ I put my spiritual life on hold.  Another words, I forgot about God and steeped myself in worldliness.  Looking back, I now see how wretched it was.  Anyway, fastforward to finding my husband, falling in love and bonding in true friendship.  When we decided to have children we briefly discussed what we would do about religion. I realise now that it is very important for spouses to be in alignment on matters of faith.  ÃƒÆ’‚ It wasn't until my oldest daughter at the age of 4 starting asking me questions about who God is and what happens when we die? that something happened.  I think it was that our Lord had mercy on me...heathen that I was...and opened my heart.  I can't explain what happened...but one night lying in bed...I dared to pray...and tears of remorse and repentence pierced me with excruciating pain.  How could I have turned away from our Savior??  My children (the other one was a tiny baby at the time)  deserved to grow up knowing and having the chance to worship in church.  Originally I left the RC church because of certain things (papal infallibility, immaculate conception, stance on original sin, etc) so I was wondering where I would go.  The Holy Spirit guided me.  In the span of a week I met  3 different people who all happened to be Orthodox Christians. I had never heard of Orthodoxy.  With my children, I went to my first Divine Liturgy(at a GOA parish) and that was it...our Lord showed me the One True Church.  
  ÃƒÆ’‚  Needless to say, there were changes in our lives that my husband suddenly had to cope with...and I must commend him for his patience.  It is very difficult at times.  He doesn't like that I have changed and become (in his words "religious").  He liked it better when I seemed to be more carefree and breezy.  He keeps saying that he hopes this is just a phase and we can get back to normal.  But now I  think  he knows that this is a life change for me.  I try not to mention anything about the church so he won't get upset.  I just want to show him and my family LOVE.  I pray and hope that my faith grows.  I want to be able to put my full trust in God.  I am just a beginner.  It is still a struggle to always have the rememberance of God during the day and to remember to always give Him thanks.  ÃƒÆ’‚ I don't want to go back to the world...temptations are always there to make me forget Him.  I am reminded of something someone told me once, "The greatest thing the Devil does is to make one believe that God doesn't exist."  ÃƒÆ’‚ Lord preserve me from forgetting.  May I always praise You!!  
  ÃƒÆ’‚  ÃƒÆ’‚  I apologize for the long post.  I am grateful to have found this forum where I can learn and have support from fellow christians.  God bless you all and please pray for my family.
Love,ÂÂ  Juliana
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aserb
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« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2005, 09:03:04 PM »

Juliana:

 Thank you for your response. My situation is slightly different. Having been raised by an orthodox Christian Father and a roman catholic mother i lapsed and then became a "born again" Christian in college. Fast forward 20 years and I meet my wife in an evangelical church. Fast forward four years and, completely disenchanted with the hype of evangelicalism, I return to my roots and embracethe orthodox Christian faith. This upset the apple cart. Now my wife, God love her, is not a bible thumper fundy type. She's a warm fuzzy type that likes the feeling" of a evangelical church. I am a theological type who must know in my heart that I am theologically correct. I found or should I say rediscovered that in orthodoxy. I like you have come to a point where its not what you say it's what you do. Its about love. I had my daughter baptized orthodox and am so far raising her orthodox, but my wife maintains her evangelical faith.

Comments?
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jlerms
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« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2005, 09:28:13 PM »

Dear Aserb,
     Has your wife checked out the Orthodox Church you attend?  What jurisdiction is it?  If it is only the "feeling"  that she loves at her church then maybe she can feel a different but better warmth in the Orthodox church.  I can totally sympathize with you on the theological issue.  It was important for me to find  the same church  which was established through the Apostles.  If one is to follow Jesus Christ then it makes sense to go back in history to see how it all began.  However, in regards to your wife you are probably doing what is best.  Do you have a spiritual father?  Mine has told me to be patient and show christian love to my husband.    Right now it seems unfathomable that he will ever turn to Christ.  He has clearly told me that he will never believe that Jesus was the Son of God.  Even though he is not a practicing Jew...he retains some of the beliefs.  All I can do is pray that someday his heart will soften and God will be revealed to him through Our Lord Jesus Christ.  It would take a miracle...but it has happened to others.  In the meantime,  I have such a long road myself.  I fall, I get up, I fall, I get up...etc. I have found that it's best for me to work on myself...instead of trying to change others.  Who am I to say anything to anyone?

God bless you and your family.   the unworthy,  Juliana
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