Author Topic: The "Universal Orthodox Church"  (Read 15304 times)

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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #90 on: July 13, 2018, 11:38:22 PM »
You gotta go iron like a lion in Zion, Archbro!
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Offline Iconodule

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #91 on: July 16, 2018, 12:53:12 PM »
The mission to Westmoreland Parrish then and continuing later was to bring back the Balm of Gilead filled Condoms secreted in the digestive tract. The first Healing for this Ministry was for the wife of Kenny Whitener of Illinois... my successfull missionary trip of bringing back a gutload of Jamaican Hash Oil.

Gross.
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Offline Agabus

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #92 on: July 16, 2018, 02:16:48 PM »
The mission to Westmoreland Parrish then and continuing later was to bring back the Balm of Gilead filled Condoms secreted in the digestive tract.
Wut?  :o

Did the good archbishop just admit to smuggling drugs into the country, drugs he later recovered by defecating a prophylactic?

Quote
The first Healing for this Ministry was for the wife of Kenny Whitener of Illinois.
Did she know she was being anointed with poop oil?
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #93 on: July 16, 2018, 03:43:53 PM »
The first Healing for this Ministry was for the wife of Kenny Whitener of Illinois.
Did she know she was being anointed with poop oil?

Probably when she realized she was less Whitened.

Offline Brilko

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #94 on: July 16, 2018, 05:09:43 PM »
AD 381 by Charles Freeman. The Council of Constantinople AD 381 wasn't Published. The "Eternal" or Son from Eternity inserted into the Nicene Creed is a FRAUD. In John, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. In Psalm 2, I will tell of the decree on this day... begotten

So, LSD?

Maybe, but more likely weed:

http://www.universalorthodox.org/

Look at the sidebar on the right.  :P

Maybe the deeper practices are reserved for the elect.

Offline Rubricnigel

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #95 on: July 16, 2018, 05:56:09 PM »
Did this guy just admit to smuggling hash oil from Jamaica into the USA?


Offline Iconodule

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #96 on: July 16, 2018, 07:20:27 PM »
In his butt, no less.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #97 on: July 16, 2018, 08:03:34 PM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Agabus

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #98 on: July 17, 2018, 12:42:46 AM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.

We don't anoint with the butt, we anoint through the butt.

Who needs an alabaster box for the Balm of Gilead anyway?
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #99 on: July 17, 2018, 01:25:08 AM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.

We don't anoint with the butt, we anoint through the butt.

Who needs an alabaster box for the Balm of Gilead anyway?

This thread should perhaps be merged with the thread concerning the astronomical theory that the passage through the seventh planet, which is named for the mythical father of Saturn, of a foreign object  resulted in aforesaid planet, the name of which is highly pertinent to this thread, being tilted 90 degrees out of alignment with the inner planets and the other three gas giants in the Solar System.

Council of Nicea:
Εθη ἀρχαῖα κρατείτω. 
Mores antiqui obtineant.
The ancient ways shall prevail.

The sentiment of Nicea in Greek and Latin, translated into English.

Offline Jackson02

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #100 on: July 17, 2018, 06:18:55 PM »
This thread just got weird.

Offline biro

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #101 on: July 17, 2018, 06:30:28 PM »
Just got?
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parakeetist/works Warning: stories have mature content.

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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #102 on: July 18, 2018, 12:57:00 AM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.

We don't anoint with the butt, we anoint through the butt.

Who needs an alabaster box for the Balm of Gilead anyway?

This thread should perhaps be merged with the thread concerning the astronomical theory that the passage through the seventh planet, which is named for the mythical father of Saturn, of a foreign object  resulted in aforesaid planet, the name of which is highly pertinent to this thread, being tilted 90 degrees out of alignment with the inner planets and the other three gas giants in the Solar System.
:laugh:
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

May the Blessed Light shine Forth

Offline MrRightReverend2u

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #103 on: June 30, 2019, 04:03:14 PM »
After the Ordination of Priests Ceremony at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit COSO on July 1st AD 2019 I spoke these words to the former Abbot Francis Michael Stitler, "I (this healing Ministry) was instrumental in changing Georgia Law (HB 324) to provide for the Land Grant Universities (University of Georgia and Valdosta State University) to grow Cannabis for purposes of Researching Medicine and Manufacture of 5% THC Medical Oil. As you know, when a Statute is provided for Licensed exemption by the State, the Catholic Church is EXEMPT. The Monastery no longer will have an EXCUSE, on why the Benedictine Vows are not being kept as a Violation of the Law." The monk replied, "You will have to have that conversation with the Abbot Dom Augustine. I am just a Monk, now." In reply, "I know that you don't need to be reminded of your Vows as a Monk. Warn the Abbot about the change in Georgia law. Will you?" "yes", the Monk confessed.
Mr. Right Reverend Gregory Karl Davis, perpetrator of the greatest spiritual theft since Jacob, proven, the most audacious Claim since Paul.

Offline WPM

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #104 on: June 30, 2019, 04:36:22 PM »
Did this guy just admit to smuggling hash oil from Jamaica into the USA?

That would be nice if you had a connection to Jamaica.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #105 on: June 30, 2019, 04:51:56 PM »
After the Ordination of Priests Ceremony at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit COSO on July 1st AD 2019 I spoke these words to the former Abbot Francis Michael Stitler, "I (this healing Ministry) was instrumental in changing Georgia Law (HB 324) to provide for the Land Grant Universities (University of Georgia and Valdosta State University) to grow Cannabis for purposes of Researching Medicine and Manufacture of 5% THC Medical Oil. As you know, when a Statute is provided for Licensed exemption by the State, the Catholic Church is EXEMPT. The Monastery no longer will have an EXCUSE, on why the Benedictine Vows are not being kept as a Violation of the Law." The monk replied, "You will have to have that conversation with the Abbot Dom Augustine. I am just a Monk, now." In reply, "I know that you don't need to be reminded of your Vows as a Monk. Warn the Abbot about the change in Georgia law. Will you?" "yes", the Monk confessed.

Meaning what, exactly?  Does your ministry now consist of annoying Trappists?  Its OCSO, by the way, not COSO.

Council of Nicea:
Εθη ἀρχαῖα κρατείτω. 
Mores antiqui obtineant.
The ancient ways shall prevail.

The sentiment of Nicea in Greek and Latin, translated into English.

Offline Brilko

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #106 on: June 30, 2019, 07:40:49 PM »
My ministry consists of trapping Trappists in convoluted contraptions.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #107 on: June 30, 2019, 08:12:07 PM »
My ministry consists of trapping Trappists in convoluted contraptions.

Revenge for the unobtainable delights of Westvleteren 12?  Just take a Rochefort 10 and a St. Bernardus 12 and mix, and the results are supposed to be comparable to Westy.

Council of Nicea:
Εθη ἀρχαῖα κρατείτω. 
Mores antiqui obtineant.
The ancient ways shall prevail.

The sentiment of Nicea in Greek and Latin, translated into English.

Offline Agabus

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #108 on: July 01, 2019, 10:45:11 AM »
Georgia now allows medical marijuana, so after the rollout there'll be no need for contraceptive prophylactics and ex lax to get ahold of the Balm of Gilead.
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.


Offline Alpha60

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #110 on: July 01, 2019, 11:18:50 AM »
Georgia now allows medical marijuana, so after the rollout there'll be no need for contraceptive prophylactics and ex lax to get ahold of the Balm of Gilead.

Yes I believe his eminence mentioned that in the context of verbally abusing some Trappists. :P
« Last Edit: July 01, 2019, 11:19:09 AM by Alpha60 »

Council of Nicea:
Εθη ἀρχαῖα κρατείτω. 
Mores antiqui obtineant.
The ancient ways shall prevail.

The sentiment of Nicea in Greek and Latin, translated into English.

Offline CarolS

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #111 on: July 01, 2019, 05:10:59 PM »
 The Bible also contains about 16 references to people or animals being STONED TO DEATH!

One sure sign of a cult is when the clergy have to go into long descriptions of where their ordinations came from.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #112 on: July 01, 2019, 05:22:13 PM »
Georgia now allows medical marijuana, so after the rollout there'll be no need for contraceptive prophylactics and ex lax to get ahold of the Balm of Gilead.

One can never acquire the oil's unique properties and its certain je ne sais quoi unless exposed to core body temperature and latex.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline WPM

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #113 on: July 01, 2019, 08:02:27 PM »
Looks like a type of Fallacy.

Offline Rubricnigel

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #114 on: July 01, 2019, 08:48:39 PM »
After the Ordination of Priests Ceremony at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit COSO on July 1st AD 2019 I spoke these words to the former Abbot Francis Michael Stitler, "I (this healing Ministry) was instrumental in changing Georgia Law (HB 324) to provide for the Land Grant Universities (University of Georgia and Valdosta State University) to grow Cannabis for purposes of Researching Medicine and Manufacture of 5% THC Medical Oil. As you know, when a Statute is provided for Licensed exemption by the State, the Catholic Church is EXEMPT. The Monastery no longer will have an EXCUSE, on why the Benedictine Vows are not being kept as a Violation of the Law." The monk replied, "You will have to have that conversation with the Abbot Dom Augustine. I am just a Monk, now." In reply, "I know that you don't need to be reminded of your Vows as a Monk. Warn the Abbot about the change in Georgia law. Will you?" "yes", the Monk confessed.

So you want the monastery to grow weed? And the 5% you are referring to, is that like CBD oil? Or THC %?
Sorry for asking, but you are kind of hard to understand.

Offline WPM

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #115 on: July 01, 2019, 09:03:01 PM »
Marijuana is green cash.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #116 on: July 02, 2019, 01:00:26 AM »
The Bible also contains about 16 references to people or animals being STONED TO DEATH!

 ;D

After the Ordination of Priests Ceremony at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit COSO on July 1st AD 2019 I spoke these words to the former Abbot Francis Michael Stitler, "I (this healing Ministry) was instrumental in changing Georgia Law (HB 324) to provide for the Land Grant Universities (University of Georgia and Valdosta State University) to grow Cannabis for purposes of Researching Medicine and Manufacture of 5% THC Medical Oil. As you know, when a Statute is provided for Licensed exemption by the State, the Catholic Church is EXEMPT. The Monastery no longer will have an EXCUSE, on why the Benedictine Vows are not being kept as a Violation of the Law." The monk replied, "You will have to have that conversation with the Abbot Dom Augustine. I am just a Monk, now." In reply, "I know that you don't need to be reminded of your Vows as a Monk. Warn the Abbot about the change in Georgia law. Will you?" "yes", the Monk confessed.

So you want the monastery to grow weed? And the 5% you are referring to, is that like CBD oil? Or THC %?
Sorry for asking, but you are kind of hard to understand.


ROFL!

I feel like a hyena.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2019, 01:01:03 AM by Alpha60 »

Council of Nicea:
Εθη ἀρχαῖα κρατείτω. 
Mores antiqui obtineant.
The ancient ways shall prevail.

The sentiment of Nicea in Greek and Latin, translated into English.

Offline WPM

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #117 on: July 02, 2019, 02:31:10 AM »
After the Ordination of Priests Ceremony at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit COSO on July 1st AD 2019 I spoke these words to the former Abbot Francis Michael Stitler, "I (this healing Ministry) was instrumental in changing Georgia Law (HB 324) to provide for the Land Grant Universities (University of Georgia and Valdosta State University) to grow Cannabis for purposes of Researching Medicine and Manufacture of 5% THC Medical Oil. As you know, when a Statute is provided for Licensed exemption by the State, the Catholic Church is EXEMPT. The Monastery no longer will have an EXCUSE, on why the Benedictine Vows are not being kept as a Violation of the Law." The monk replied, "You will have to have that conversation with the Abbot Dom Augustine. I am just a Monk, now." In reply, "I know that you don't need to be reminded of your Vows as a Monk. Warn the Abbot about the change in Georgia law. Will you?" "yes", the Monk confessed.

So you want the monastery to grow weed? And the 5% you are referring to, is that like CBD oil? Or THC %?
Sorry for asking, but you are kind of hard to understand.

Liquid THC miracle oil.

Offline Agabus

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #118 on: July 02, 2019, 10:56:18 AM »
I have heard that they grow hash on Athos, but have no way of confirmation.

I remain skeptical but hopeful for some holy myrron balm of Gilead from the Holy Mountain.
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline MrRightReverend2u

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #119 on: October 06, 2019, 05:49:57 PM »
Yes, I then spoke with Abbott Augustus at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers Georgia. Then, with Fr. Tom Francis who replied, "the Monks here wouldn't be interested in that." That Monk was nominated to question me about my Order after first attending Holy Communion after my Ordination experience on Juneteenth AD 2006. I cofessed having been elevated to Bishop. I told him just last month, come over and look at what is written here on the Wall of the Visitor Center.  I read the quote here of St. Benedict. He replied, "that's very troubling for me right now.' Today, I attended Red Mass at the Cathedral of St Matthew. At the close of the Brunch sponsored by the John Carol Society, I reminded Archbishop Wilton Gregory, Washington DC of our previous conversation on this subject outside the Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Jesus the Anointed in Atlanta, Georgia, 'I spoke to Abbott Augustus at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers Georgia about growing Cannabis Medicine.' Just like back in the day, the Priests and the Levites have no compassion and will ride around the wounded man fallen amoung thieves. Babylon Fall.
Mr. Right Reverend Gregory Karl Davis, perpetrator of the greatest spiritual theft since Jacob, proven, the most audacious Claim since Paul.

Offline Eamonomae

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #120 on: October 06, 2019, 06:00:28 PM »
You know, I always kind of thought that the so-called "Adamites" which were brought up by St. Alphonsus Liguori on the History of the Heresies was such a ridiculous concept that it couldn't possibly be real - who would buy that Jesus wants us to go to Church naked to be like Adam and Eve?

However, upon following this whole post, where an entire allegedly-Christian organization is based on smuggling and smoking drugs, and there are people who are buying into that, and proceeding to call those who think such reliance on drugs instead of God's Grace are the "Whore of Babylon," I think twice of whether that sect actually existed.

It's a crazy world we live in.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2019, 06:01:05 PM by Eamonomae »
"I haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."
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Offline hecma925

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #121 on: October 07, 2019, 08:15:06 AM »
Yes, I then spoke with Abbott Augustus at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers Georgia. Then, with Fr. Tom Francis who replied, "the Monks here wouldn't be interested in that." That Monk was nominated to question me about my Order after first attending Holy Communion after my Ordination experience on Juneteenth AD 2006. I cofessed having been elevated to Bishop. I told him just last month, come over and look at what is written here on the Wall of the Visitor Center.  I read the quote here of St. Benedict. He replied, "that's very troubling for me right now.' Today, I attended Red Mass at the Cathedral of St Matthew. At the close of the Brunch sponsored by the John Carol Society, I reminded Archbishop Wilton Gregory, Washington DC of our previous conversation on this subject outside the Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Jesus the Anointed in Atlanta, Georgia, 'I spoke to Abbott Augustus at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers Georgia about growing Cannabis Medicine.' Just like back in the day, the Priests and the Levites have no compassion and will ride around the wounded man fallen amoung thieves. Babylon Fall.

I doubt Trappists are into putting hashish into their butts.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

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Offline Agabus

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #122 on: October 09, 2019, 03:41:34 PM »
There's a hemp field next to my father-in-law's former church.
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #123 on: October 12, 2019, 04:32:48 PM »
You know, I always kind of thought that the so-called "Adamites" which were brought up by St. Alphonsus Liguori on the History of the Heresies was such a ridiculous concept that it couldn't possibly be real - who would buy that Jesus wants us to go to Church naked to be like Adam and Eve?

However, upon following this whole post, where an entire allegedly-Christian organization is based on smuggling and smoking drugs, and there are people who are buying into that, and proceeding to call those who think such reliance on drugs instead of God's Grace are the "Whore of Babylon," I think twice of whether that sect actually existed.

It's a crazy world we live in.

St. Epiphanius of Salamis mentions having heard of them but not being sure of their existence, in the Panarion, if memory serves.

Council of Nicea:
Εθη ἀρχαῖα κρατείτω. 
Mores antiqui obtineant.
The ancient ways shall prevail.

The sentiment of Nicea in Greek and Latin, translated into English.

Offline WPM

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #124 on: October 13, 2019, 05:38:01 PM »
I wonder if you custom-design your own Generation X church billboard sign and A-frame log cabin.