UPGRADE: Please report anything out of the ordinary post-upgrade in this thread: http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,66430.new.html
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But yeah, back on topic, this is why it is better to be uncircumcised as you don't need lubricant. I'm glad my parents left my genitals intact.
It's common knowledge that you secretly want to be born in early 17th century Russia. As a serf or a royal, I know not. Chances are serf.
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