Ok, I have been Orthodox for only about four years and have been married only three weeks, but I will say that first, this idea of equality that the world puts forth is not Orthodox. The way it works in my home is I am in charge, she submits to me, however this isn't a position of weakness or of lesser status. My wife is the only thing that is important to me there for I do not abuse her. Every decision I make is for her benefit. She sometimes has to do things she doesn't want to do, however she knows that my heart is always in the right place. an example of this is, she wants to be a stay at home mom, I fully support this, however she must go to College. She doesn't want to go to school, and she doesn't see the point since she is going to stay at home with the children (once they come). I however see it differently, we plan to home school our children, so her having an education will help when she is teaching the children. something could happen to me and I not be able to support our home anymore and she would have to go to work, an education will help her find a job if she needs it. and lastly we will want our children to go to college and so we should lead by example and both of us should have a college education. So in the end, does she want to go to college? no, will she? yes, because she is a good wife and has submitted to her husbands authority. Are we equal? no, we are not, but equality would not make our marriage better but instead would harm it. no one can serve two masters, and a body doesn't work with two heads. She must submit but I have the greater responsibility of making sure she is happy, and taken care of. Every decision I make I must think about her first, even before my own wants and needs. Maybe I'm wrong but we believe that this is what a christian marriage is.