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Author Topic: Do You Ever Feel Weird Contemplating How....  (Read 475 times) Average Rating: 0
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JamesR
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« on: July 04, 2014, 03:31:45 PM »

...someday everybody you know who is older than you is going to die?

This saddens me greatly.

Unless I die from unnatural causes or Peter's right and I snus myself to an early grave, everybody older than myself is going to die before I do.

All of my cool old guy friends I hang out with at Church are going to die, my spiritual father whom I love is going to die, all the folks I love on this forum like Orthonorm, Maria, and Punch are going to die.

All of my friends who are slightly older than me are going to die.

One day everybody I ever knew who was older than myself is going to die.

All I will have left someday are my two younger siblings.
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« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2014, 03:36:07 PM »

There's a possibility that you and I might also die.
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« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2014, 03:48:04 PM »

...someday everybody you know who is older than you is going to die?

This saddens me greatly.

Unless I die from unnatural causes or Peter's right and I snus myself to an early grave, everybody older than myself is going to die before I do.

All of my cool old guy friends I hang out with at Church are going to die, my spiritual father whom I love is going to die, all the folks I love on this forum like Orthonorm, Maria, and Punch are going to die.

All of my friends who are slightly older than me are going to die.

One day everybody I ever knew who was older than myself is going to die.

All I will have left someday are my two younger siblings.

Focus not on death, but on the opportunity that life offers. Yes, everyone will face death ultimately, but hopefully, death will be the door to Heaven to join with Christ-God and His Holy Saints.

Find your vocation, your unique calling, and strive to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, visit the sick and imprisoned, but above all pray and attend the Holy Services of the Orthodox Church. Live each day as if it will be your last, not focusing on yourself, but on God.

God gave us this life for a reason, for life is an opportunity to seek Him, to find Him, and to grow in sanctity. Therefore, let us pray for each other.

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« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2014, 04:31:22 PM »

Don't worry, we're close enough that you have a chance of predeceasing me.
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« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2014, 04:35:00 PM »


Don't waste time.

Love them today, and tell them you love them.

...and remember nobody actually dies, they merely move beyond this world.

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« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2014, 04:41:08 PM »

I've had 4 people that I care about die, two older than me and two younger. So keep your chin up, there's still plenty of time for things to happen to the younger people that are and will be in your life. Smiley
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Maria
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« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2014, 04:41:29 PM »


Don't waste time.

Love them today, and tell them you love them.

...and remember nobody actually dies, they merely move beyond this world.



But the ultimate question remains, where will we find ourselves beyond the grave?

Will we make the cut and enter the joys of Heaven?

Or will we find ourselves suffering in Tollhouses and/or Hades and cut off from our loved ones?

Death and the afterlife are serious questions, so perhaps "Other Topics" is not the proper place.
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« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2014, 04:45:45 PM »

I will say, I've contemplated it before but I seem to have developed anxiety issues over the past few years.  I've lost a few people but only 1 was very close to me.  I don't know how I will deal with my parents going or anybody like that. 

I have relatives I'm close with who lost their son when I was about 5.  No idea how they ever dealt with that.  I read about people losing their children or having tragedy strike, as it does to all families, and I always wonder how do they move on?

I guess the anxiety comes from not knowing.  Everything seems formidable until the time comes and then we press on.  As for my own death, I actually do not worry about that at all.  Not that I don't think I'm a sinner and have plenty to answer for, just that I don't fear it for myself.  I only fear death for what it will leave me with after those close to me are gone.
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« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2014, 05:52:51 PM »

Hey JamesR,

Take a look at this new thread: http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,59403.msg1150562/topicseen.html#msg1150562

And think about how others before the age of 19 died heroic deaths!
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« Reply #9 on: July 04, 2014, 06:14:05 PM »

This is a tough topic to think about. I've lost people over the years, as we all have.

I love my parents more than you could shake a stick at. I don't know what I'll do with myself when it's time for them to, you know, go on before me.  Huh Embarrassed
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« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2014, 03:13:15 AM »

Memento mori.
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« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2014, 07:02:09 AM »

It's how things are in this fallen world.
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« Reply #12 on: July 05, 2014, 09:57:27 PM »

I remember sometimes as a child being upset about this. In fact, I remember one night when I was like 5 when I couldn't even sleep over it. It really bothered me as a kid - growing up on a chicken/goat farm, you quickly learn what death means when owls and raccoons butcher your chickens in the back yard.

But it hasn't bothered me since then for whatever reason, even though I've lost older relatives. I guess I just don't think about it, and I tend to be more uncomfortable about my own inevitable death.
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« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2014, 10:11:15 PM »

I think in many cases this is just a reflection of the complete divorcing of the American psyche from the reality of death in general.

There are memorial services where you don't have to face the loss by seeing a body. Reality can be pushed aside a bit.

I know that there are traditions where this is not the case, am speaking in the overall sense.
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« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2014, 11:00:28 PM »

I remember sometimes as a child being upset about this. In fact, I remember one night when I was like 5 when I couldn't even sleep over it. It really bothered me as a kid - growing up on a chicken/goat farm, you quickly learn what death means when owls and raccoons butcher your chickens in the back yard.

But it hasn't bothered me since then for whatever reason, even though I've lost older relatives. I guess I just don't think about it, and I tend to be more uncomfortable about my own inevitable death.

Yes, we face death and life every day on the farm.  It's just part of it.  Today, I went outside and there was a Coyote (awkward during the day).  I used a .22LR on it and took it down, as it was 30ft from our goat tractor.  It went into the "maggot bucket" (which is a totally disgusting bucket with two pipes on it that we throw dead wild animals in - flies eat the body, maggots "harvest" themselves up the pipes.  Then they fall into a pail.  Our baby chicks eat the maggots. Smiley  Though disgusting, God provides).   Kill it or it kills livestock, its that simple.

One thing to think about James, is that it is not "everybody you know".  What about your future wife?  What about future children?  What about their future spouses?  What about grand children?  Plenty will look up to you and think "that is gonna be terrible when he croaks".   Nieces, nephews, cousins, future friends, future parishoners.....  The list goes on. 

There is this duty we have in life as men.

First we learn the ropes.
Then we get married.
Then we get settled.
Then we have children.
Then they grow up.
Then we get older.

Then the fun starts.

Then we can become a curmudgeon and act like we don't know what is going on and get to complain about everything.  This is when everybody has to respect us too because we are the oldest.  Wink

It's just life brother.  One day you are the young'un, the next thing you know you look in the mirror at some strange old guy and are worried about your children/grandchildren.

Plus
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« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2014, 09:32:05 PM »

I think in many cases this is just a reflection of the complete divorcing of the American psyche from the reality of death in general.

There are memorial services where you don't have to face the loss by seeing a body. Reality can be pushed aside a bit.

I know that there are traditions where this is not the case, am speaking in the overall sense.


You're right.  Anymore, it's being seen more acceptable to not attend funerals because they make others 'uncomfortable'.  Now, I DO understand not wanting to attend wakes.  I know I won't have one.  I understand this because I feel they do nothing but drag out the trauma and misery that is the loss of a loved one.  They served an actual purpose at one time, IIRC. 

However, attending someones funeral is a matter of showing respect for that person IMO.  This world has become so about how 'YOU' feel instead of doing what's right and expected.
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« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2014, 10:58:42 PM »

I remember thinking of that when I was very young.

I've lost many people now. Some died in old age, some younger. It's not a given, by any means, that people will die in age-order.

It has taught me to love people while they are in your life. Love people while you have life. Do all you can to prepare for eternity, because it IS coming one day, and we don't know when.

It doesn't freak me out. Usually. But two of the people who are most dear to me at church are in their 80's. One sweet man came back today after being out for a few weeks. The last time I saw him, he had just had a couple of strokes and had missed some weeks. I have been praying for him. I was relieved to see he is much improved today. But he is still in his 80's. May they have many years yet. They are dear to me.

But you can lose even young people. Cherish them all.
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« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2014, 11:12:32 PM »


Death, did "freak me out" when I was younger.

My grandfather died when I was 7 or 8, and I brought the entire parish to tears when I started screaming at the man who was closing the casket, as my dear deedoos would not be able to breath if they closed it.

I hadn't met death closely for the next many years, until my uncle/godfather passed away.  I loved him more than even I knew.  He was here, healthy, laughing, talking...and in the blink of an eye he was ill and then gone in less than six weeks time.  I was with him when he died, holding his hand as the buzzers were going off and the bells were ringing and the medical staff came flooding in....and having spent the night with my mom, locked in the church with his body, reading the Psalms....brought a sense of closure...but, not finality.  He wasn't gone, he just wasn't in that body that was resting in the coffin.

With that, I lost my fear of death, cemeteries, etc.

I know that it is my duty to pray for those whom I loved and who passed, because only we, the living, can help them...and I know what is required of me in order to hopefully end up in a joyous place when my time comes....the trick is doing what I know I need to be doing.  Temptation is everywhere.

JamesR.  Don't focus on others' deaths.  Focus on their lives, on serving them, and on praying for them when they are gone.  However, do focus on your own mortality.  Keep it always in the back of your mind, to help you avoid temptation.

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« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2014, 09:10:17 AM »

Getting a job in a hospital or as an EMT (I've done both), will make you realize how fleeting life is.  When it's time, that's it. 
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« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2014, 09:19:43 AM »

Coming to terms with death is, I believe, one of the best things you can do.  The earlier you do it, the better.  I come from a huge family, counting my aunts and uncles and cousins.  My dad was born near the end of my grandparents run on children (they had 13).  Three of my four grandparents were dead before I was born.  Going to funeral homes was a normal thing for me at a young age as my aunts and uncles (and, sadly, some cousins) as they got old and died.  As sad as some may see that, I chose to accept death as a part of life.  It's going to happen.  Accept it.  You don't have to like it, but there really is little you can do about it and the little you can do may actually make things worse in the long run. 

Just my two cents.
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« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2014, 09:20:34 AM »

...someday everybody you know who is older than you is going to die?


Also, everybody you know who is younger than you is going to die as well.
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« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2014, 09:33:49 AM »

At my father's (totally unexpected) death I was 17, and he much too young to be, let alone put others, into the mindset of preparation for the inevitable. Still, the rattling the event gave me was nothing compared to the rattling I got as I started to be part of the cemetery community and notice how many little graves were scattered among the full-sized ones. The really shaking realisation is that death doesn't wait for ripe old age, or even just maturity. People still bury their children, perhaps not in droves, as in times past, but losing even one, in an age and society where we can pretty much take for granted that anyone born will live to grow up, is anguish just to contemplate, let alone experience.

In short: today we're here, tomorrow not. Young people feel immortal, until they find out they're not. Hopefully, second-hand.
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