Author Topic: Giving priests or confession one last chance  (Read 540 times)

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Offline mikeforjesus

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Giving priests or confession one last chance
« on: November 30, 2015, 04:14:58 AM »
Or I will seek help from other non orthodox Christians

How do I overcome lewdness ?
I'm not convinced that looking at pornography is lust but I do think it is lewdness and sin. Lust is wanting to covet someone else's property and inflict pain even if it is a day dream
But if you have sinful day dreams just because you are in pain and dream of being with someone and being loved or giving love it does not seem like lust to me or because you think life is treating you unfairly and you think you deserve Sex like everyone else
. I feel I have made them sin by my judgementalism or false teaching and I feel my efforts to save them are failing so I sin out of being upset. Also I don't feel I should have to be unmarried without sex to win people to Christ my other efforts should be enough
or maybe I do not respect them because I don't think they have the Holy Spirit because they are not honest Christians with good will. I know if anyone defiles the temple of God God will destroy Him for the temple of God is holy. I think they should have the Holy Spirit if they are Christian but as their life does not show it I stumble and worry the Holy Spirit is only in the Orthodox Church
I only respect those who respect themselves and who have parents or loved ones who respect them and believe in them that they will change

Does lewdness also lead to hell ? Can you prove it ? Is it fornication ? If so it leads to hell. But it is not the actual deed but lust even in the heart is counted as the actual deed
Do you know any verses that prove all lewdness leads to hell?

Why can't I go 10 years without looking at pornography ? Is it because I am not getting enough attention for my spiritual growth from priests ? I can't put my trust in another priest if I seek a different father of confession because I think he will repay me for my evil in abandoning my former father of confession
I need someone who is living a strict spiritual life with ideals like me so he can take my issues seriously.
I need someone who can diagnose why I fall into sin and encourage me not to fall again
such as telling me you will see Gods miracles in your life if you avoid evil
He who desires good days let him depart from evil David says
He who does not abide in Me is cut out as a branch
If you abide in Me you shall ask what you desire and it shall be done for you
This means if we keep Gods commandments God can perform the miracle of saving others souls
It doesn't mean God will grant earthly requests if it is against His will but things concerning His kingdom
Why do I have to always approach the priest and he does not approach me in a desire to increase my spiritual growth ? Jesus did and they have the keys of the kingdom

Offline OrthoDisco

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2015, 04:47:53 AM »
Maybe your question shouldnt be whether or not lewdness lead to Hell. But rather, how is a person spiritually damaged by lewdness?
Or are you talking about something that could possibly be related to addictive behavior? Because then that requires a more specific approach, and there are Orthodox people who can help with that.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2015, 04:49:44 AM by OrthoDisco »
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Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2015, 07:35:08 AM »
Maybe I can ask both questions

Offline Gebre Menfes Kidus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2015, 09:04:34 AM »
Judgment, guilt, and shame are as spiritually damaging - perhaps more so - than lust or lewdness. Just my opinion. I am not a priest.


This quote has really encouraged me. Not an Orthodox source, but I think it makes a lot of sense.  :)


Selam
"Bad art may be forgiven; but to remain unmoved by beauty will not. Doubts may be forgiven; but a lack of wonder will not. Tilting at windmills may be forgiven; but allowing our neighbors to be grinded in the gears will not. Denying the existence of the Creator may be forgiven; but ignoring the glories of creation will not."
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Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2015, 10:02:25 AM »
Thanks Gebre :)

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2015, 03:48:26 AM »
I did not mean I would stop confessing I intend to continue if I am forgiven but I won't expect priests to take every thought I have seriously or expect them to draw out things from me to give me counsel
I am told to seek help from psychologists
Why do people tell me to See a psychologist about my conscience issues when it is a spiritual thing
Can't I see both since some of it might be scruple and psychology related ?
But even Paul said whatever is not of faith is sin
So I feel I can do next to nothing because many things seem sin
Ordering pizza often seems like sin even though I pay money because I look like a bad Christian
They know I am Christian because I have some Jesus pictures around my house
Going to hooters seems like a sin even though over here they don't dress too badly so they are doing nothing wrong maybe but I think I am because they think why does a Christian want to come here
The people on the street driving in the free way all see me and atleast sometimes a non Christian I know could see me there
Not paying for Microsoft office seems sin
Not praying for any small program I need seems sin
Playing pirated games just to try before you buy that you can't rent from anywhere anymore seems sin
Not working continuously for the whole 8 hours in work and getting paid seems sin
Getting customers by putting pamphlets in their junk mail seems sin
Buying donut in lunch break seems sin if the worker is Christian and thinks I don't deserve that break and he knows me because he may look down on Christianity


Is this verse relevant ?

Proverbs 20:5 (NKJV)
Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water,
But a man of understanding will draw it out.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2015, 04:21:08 AM by mikeforjesus »

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2015, 03:00:25 AM »

Not paying for Microsoft office seems sin
...
Not praying for any small program I need seems sin

Buying donut in lunch break seems sin if the worker is Christian and thinks I don't deserve that break and he knows me because he may look down on Christianity
I want to correct this I meant if the worker is non Christian

Also ofcourse it is a sin not to pay for Microsoft office but I got it free as a student as a download but as I am no longer a student I can't download and I lost the file
But I bought it cheap recently
« Last Edit: December 02, 2015, 03:01:32 AM by mikeforjesus »

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2015, 03:46:53 AM »
had something to say but not clear
« Last Edit: December 02, 2015, 04:07:11 AM by mikeforjesus »

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2015, 08:03:24 AM »
This sin does lead to hell it is a work of the flesh uncleanness or lewdness

Galatians 5:19-21(NKJV)

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2015, 09:27:31 AM »
2 Corinthians 7:1 Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2015, 03:59:13 AM »
Many things seem like sin which makes me feel I need to be a monk
Like I need help finishing a game called shenmue 2 which I plan on buying but I don't know if the owner stole it or the person who writes a walkthrough played the game as  a downloaded pirated game and I don't want to benefit from his efforts
Also playing that game for hours may stop me from caring for my spiritual growth and or the salvation of my soul and others and not stumbling non Christians who don't see us putting real effort to win souls
But I'm sure as a monk there will be other sins but are they sins that are needed without which you can't live as in the world ? Or ones you can fully repent from ?
Jesus showed it is possible to live without sin
« Last Edit: December 10, 2015, 04:08:20 AM by mikeforjesus »

Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2015, 11:35:16 PM »
Sorry to refer to unorthodox who might not be saved due to his hatred of the orthodox churches anda obeying all its moral teachings but these are true words
I also add Jesus said if your eye causes you to sin cut it off better to Enter life  with one eye then to go to hell obviously Jesus acknowledges we have weaknesses we need to overcome as it is weakness He is not just condemning the intention to inflict harm on others through lust
 http://www.gotquestions.org/pornography-Bible.html
« Last Edit: December 10, 2015, 11:43:50 PM by mikeforjesus »

Offline OrthoDisco

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2016, 05:05:42 PM »
Im not saying i understand what you are going through, but I have my own issues which make me think I should be an ascetic as well. Yes, I think the highly structured life of monasticism is beneficial for some of us who are weak, not good at self motivating, prone to depression or anxiety or whatever, living in an environment which makes "sinning" very easy, etc.
Currently, in my own life, Im trying to carve out some of that structure apart from a monastic life such as simplifying, getting rid of the TV, trying to become more minimalist in the stuff we keep in our home, even eating more simply with less meat in order to enjoy things which are from the ground and provided by God....Its really just about eliminating distractions. If the internet is causing you to sin, can you get rid of it? There are plenty of ways to use it without having it in your home. Perhaps you can get to the real deep down desires of your heart. Once you clear the "stuff", youre very much forced to be introspective... I suppose thats a very simplistic way of explaining it.   God willing I'll be able to convince my husband to let me be rid of the internet one day soon too. 
I don't know if you get where Im going with this.
Life can be quite a challenge, especially when living with other people who see things different, aren't on the same spiritual path or search that you are on. This goes for your priest, who is just probably on a different search, not spiritually as advanced as you need, could be any number of reasons. I've had to learn this lesson and it was kind of disheartening because, well, here I am on a forum having to ask other Orthodox questions too.
Another thing: I know a little about sketes, and how they're supposed to be somewhat monastic communities which are not monasteries...I don't really know what that means, even though I've visited the one near my town. (A lovely place.) I wish there were more of them for us laypeople to retreat to when our spiritual struggles require serious attention. But you always stay at a monastery. Have you ever thought about staying at a monastery for a month or so? People do. I know I could stay at the skete nearby if I wanted to for a few days at most, as I am bound right now by  family responsibilities.  Well, I don't have a great love for the modern world, so maybe thats all easy for me to say. But I also know my struggles and what tends to trigger them. Perhaps this is what you need to try and figure out. Im sorry I don't have a magic solution. Everyone is different.
« Last Edit: February 26, 2016, 05:08:35 PM by OrthoDisco »
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: Giving priests or confession one last chance
« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2016, 06:03:17 PM »
Pornography is spiritually and psychologically damaging, the fact you're having such a hard time trying to get rid of it shows it. I struggled to leave it in my teenage years, I conquered it, and my struggle against lewdness really progressed. If you'd like me to hear some tips on how you can abandon this habit, PM me. I know this is not the only thing you wish to talk about in this thread, but maybe I can help you with that one.
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