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Author Topic: Can I even trust the experience of people only married once?  (Read 2192 times) Average Rating: 0
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« Reply #45 on: January 14, 2014, 12:24:40 PM »

Every time I read this topic's title I wonder if this is a generational thing. Does this mean some do not trust those of the generations before them who were not as likely to be divorced? Parents, grandparents?

Or does this mean Shiny is on the lookout for a nice, well experienced girl with a few kids?
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« Reply #46 on: January 14, 2014, 12:27:51 PM »

Amen! Preach it, sister!

(Anyway, I'm probably atypical since I'd rather have books or cool electronics than flowers, candy and perfume.)

I also like cool electronics.  Grin But I confess that I do love perfume and makeup. Flowers aren't really my thing after spending many moons as a florist. Just overexposure, I think. Fun fact: I sold my husband flowers (before I "met" him) that he was buying for another girl.
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« Reply #47 on: January 14, 2014, 12:32:05 PM »

I don't know if I necessarily agree. I love to buy the girls in my life things, flowers, chocolates, purses, makeup, perfume, etc. Even just out of spotaneity.

That's not to say I'm buying stuff everyday, but a few times women really do appreciate it, they feel loved.

Women could use a lot more love, and I've noticed that for the majority of marriages much of the water runs dry.

That's great your husband can take out the trash or cleanup. But he should do more. To me, there needs to be a level of initimacy between both. I think this is also crucial that your children are aware of this to, otherwise they will have distorted views on what a marriage is.

I feel way more loved and cherished by the ordinary, every-day stuff my husband takes care of than I do by the extras he bestows on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-flowers or anti-candlelight dinners and anti-perfume, but if that's the metric you're* using to determine love, you're going to spend a lot of your life dissatisfied. Going to work to provide for us, taking the trash out so I don't have to, picking up milk on the way home... these things speak way louder to me because it's not exciting, totally average, and sacrificial. You get someone flowers because you generally want to do that, and you want their thrilled reaction because it makes you feel good. It's out of the ordinary. Again, it's nice to be the recipient of that kind of fun gesture. That is not what inspires deep wells of love in my heart though. I see him doing things he probably would rather not be doing for the ultimate good of our family and I think, "What a good man." I agree that kids should see spouses doing nice things for each other, but if my kids grow up thinking that this stereotypical romance = love, then I think that is a distorted view on what a marriage is. I would much rather have them grow up realizing that those things are awesome and fun and special occasions, but that love is better shown through actions, many of which seem mundane and unremarkable.

*All you's general
Oh because it sure sounded like you were rationalizing the mundanities within marriage.

I'm not saying I believe in that whole spice up your marriage garbage nor when it comes to sex. I want to strangle the rekindle the spark types.

But that doesn't mean all the romance ends in marriage.

If you're idea of romance from a man is him collecting the trash to take out, then I feel very sorry for you.

I'd rather take the thros of a passionate intitimate relationship with my significant other than her getting glazed eyes because I took some Ajax cleaner to the sink.
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« Reply #48 on: January 14, 2014, 12:36:50 PM »

I don't know if I necessarily agree. I love to buy the girls in my life things, flowers, chocolates, purses, makeup, perfume, etc. Even just out of spotaneity.

That's not to say I'm buying stuff everyday, but a few times women really do appreciate it, they feel loved.

Women could use a lot more love, and I've noticed that for the majority of marriages much of the water runs dry.

That's great your husband can take out the trash or cleanup. But he should do more. To me, there needs to be a level of initimacy between both. I think this is also crucial that your children are aware of this to, otherwise they will have distorted views on what a marriage is.

I feel way more loved and cherished by the ordinary, every-day stuff my husband takes care of than I do by the extras he bestows on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-flowers or anti-candlelight dinners and anti-perfume, but if that's the metric you're* using to determine love, you're going to spend a lot of your life dissatisfied. Going to work to provide for us, taking the trash out so I don't have to, picking up milk on the way home... these things speak way louder to me because it's not exciting, totally average, and sacrificial. You get someone flowers because you generally want to do that, and you want their thrilled reaction because it makes you feel good. It's out of the ordinary. Again, it's nice to be the recipient of that kind of fun gesture. That is not what inspires deep wells of love in my heart though. I see him doing things he probably would rather not be doing for the ultimate good of our family and I think, "What a good man." I agree that kids should see spouses doing nice things for each other, but if my kids grow up thinking that this stereotypical romance = love, then I think that is a distorted view on what a marriage is. I would much rather have them grow up realizing that those things are awesome and fun and special occasions, but that love is better shown through actions, many of which seem mundane and unremarkable.

*All you's general
Oh because it sure sounded like you were rationalizing the mundanities within marriage.

I'm not saying I believe in that whole spice up your marriage garbage nor when it comes to sex. I want to strangle the rekindle the spark types.

But that doesn't mean all the romance ends in marriage.

If you're idea of romance from a man is him collecting the trash to take out, then I feel very sorry for you.

I'd rather take the thros of a passionate intitimate relationship with my significant other than her getting glazed eyes because I took some Ajax cleaner to the sink.

Because you've never been married..... Grin
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« Reply #49 on: January 14, 2014, 12:41:24 PM »

Why does Orthodoxy have such a fatalistic view of marriage? "You have DIE. IT's MARTYRDOM!!!!" "It's going to be sooo hard all the time and your kids will ascetically suck the life out of you and you will attain holy dispassion."

Many present it this way, but what about the romance and love? I love my wife and kids and they make me happy. I know that not everyone presents it this way, but sometimes it gets old. It's OK to be happy in your marriage.
As much as I agree with all of this, and I really do, I also like that the Church takes marriage as seriously as it does.

Granted the above is pretty scary stuff, and both people surely need to know what they are getting themselves into, but it should be presented in a different way. This whole "your life is over" upon being married is a real turn off.

But married couples I have seen at the parishes you can tell have a lot of joy. However I know of a priest's wife that wasn't so happy, but that's a different matter...

Well, in a sense, when you get married YOUR life IS over--because it's no longer just about YOU and what you want and need and think is best, etc.  While of course you still maintain your individuality, you are now part of we/us and what you do and do not do must take that into consideration. 
As unsexy as it sounds, the best marriage advice is basically an amplified version of the kind of advice you're going to get for living the Christian life — do unto others, consider yourself the worse sinner and it is more blessed to give than to receive. This all amounts to a death to self, but if you've got two people striving toward the same end, it's reciprocal and no one actually feels dead. It's not so much "my life is over" as it is "my better life has begun."
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« Reply #50 on: January 14, 2014, 12:41:34 PM »

And flowers, chocolate, whatever is an example. Of course with me it is a lot more personalized per girl. I approach my dates around the interests of her. I had one interested in marine biology, so I took her over to the aquarium and got to know her a lot better because of it. Another she loved butterflies, took her to a butterfly pavillion.

Just some examples, not going to broadcast my Greatest Hits.

But anyway, Jeff it doesn't matter if I have never been married. I have cohabited with women before to know what it is like. That's why I am against cohabitation, because the lines between marriage and a relationship are blurred. You gotta take up on more husband roles.

So when people would joke I'm a married man because a girl is living with me, they aren't so far off.
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« Reply #51 on: January 14, 2014, 12:43:18 PM »

I don't know if I necessarily agree. I love to buy the girls in my life things, flowers, chocolates, purses, makeup, perfume, etc. Even just out of spotaneity.

That's not to say I'm buying stuff everyday, but a few times women really do appreciate it, they feel loved.

Women could use a lot more love, and I've noticed that for the majority of marriages much of the water runs dry.

That's great your husband can take out the trash or cleanup. But he should do more. To me, there needs to be a level of initimacy between both. I think this is also crucial that your children are aware of this to, otherwise they will have distorted views on what a marriage is.

I feel way more loved and cherished by the ordinary, every-day stuff my husband takes care of than I do by the extras he bestows on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-flowers or anti-candlelight dinners and anti-perfume, but if that's the metric you're* using to determine love, you're going to spend a lot of your life dissatisfied. Going to work to provide for us, taking the trash out so I don't have to, picking up milk on the way home... these things speak way louder to me because it's not exciting, totally average, and sacrificial. You get someone flowers because you generally want to do that, and you want their thrilled reaction because it makes you feel good. It's out of the ordinary. Again, it's nice to be the recipient of that kind of fun gesture. That is not what inspires deep wells of love in my heart though. I see him doing things he probably would rather not be doing for the ultimate good of our family and I think, "What a good man." I agree that kids should see spouses doing nice things for each other, but if my kids grow up thinking that this stereotypical romance = love, then I think that is a distorted view on what a marriage is. I would much rather have them grow up realizing that those things are awesome and fun and special occasions, but that love is better shown through actions, many of which seem mundane and unremarkable.

*All you's general
Oh because it sure sounded like you were rationalizing the mundanities within marriage.

I'm not saying I believe in that whole spice up your marriage garbage nor when it comes to sex. I want to strangle the rekindle the spark types.

But that doesn't mean all the romance ends in marriage.

If you're idea of romance from a man is him collecting the trash to take out, then I feel very sorry for you.

I'd rather take the thros of a passionate intitimate relationship with my significant other than her getting glazed eyes because I took some Ajax cleaner to the sink.
Let me know how that "passionate, intimate relationship" is going in 10 years with two kids.

I hope you think back to this thread then, because your older you will get much amusement from your younger you's posts.
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« Reply #52 on: January 14, 2014, 12:55:01 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.
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« Reply #53 on: January 14, 2014, 12:58:45 PM »

blah blah blah

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« Reply #54 on: January 14, 2014, 12:58:56 PM »

And flowers, chocolate, whatever is an example. Of course with me it is a lot more personalized per girl. I approach my dates around the interests of her. I had one interested in marine biology, so I took her over to the aquarium and got to know her a lot better because of it. Another she loved butterflies, took her to a butterfly pavillion.

Just some examples, not going to broadcast my Greatest Hits.

But anyway, Jeff it doesn't matter if I have never been married. I have cohabited with women before to know what it is like. That's why I am against cohabitation, because the lines between marriage and a relationship are blurred. You gotta take up on more husband roles.

So when people would joke I'm a married man because a girl is living with me, they aren't so far off.

I, too, have "cohabited".  If and when you get married, and it lasts, you will see that there is a world of difference, and any similarities are, with rare exception, purely superficial.  
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« Reply #55 on: January 14, 2014, 12:59:34 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
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« Reply #56 on: January 14, 2014, 01:03:21 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.
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« Reply #57 on: January 14, 2014, 01:05:09 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
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« Reply #58 on: January 14, 2014, 01:21:33 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
I said *most* honest, he isn't afraid to show off his failed marriage.
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« Reply #59 on: January 14, 2014, 01:25:12 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
I said *most* honest, he isn't afraid to show off his failed marriage.

We were just showing off our successful ones. Smiley
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« Reply #60 on: January 14, 2014, 01:27:50 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.
How one measures passion and intimacy is a bit of a moving target when you're five, eight and I assume 15 and 30 years into a relationship. And that ain't a bad thing -- higher up and deeper in. Every night isn't day three of the honeymoon -- though you can still have plenty of those -- but if you both keep at it the connection of mutual joys and griefs and -- yes-- sexyness is much greater.

Sure life can have its mundane moments and two kids can put an occasional (or often) krimp in your swerve, but if you're actually committed to the relationship you don't have to worry.

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« Reply #61 on: January 14, 2014, 01:28:21 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
I said *most* honest, he isn't afraid to show off his failed marriage.
Is a failed marriage the only one worth showing?
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« Reply #62 on: January 14, 2014, 01:31:43 PM »

My parents have been married a gazillion years. So were my grandparents. That's only once each.

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« Reply #63 on: January 14, 2014, 01:33:01 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
I said *most* honest, he isn't afraid to show off his failed marriage.
Is a failed marriage the only one worth showing?
I'm just saying the degree of honesty isn't as high. I think there lies more behind the projections folks make from their marriages.

And really I wanted to avoid ancedotal experiences because obviously its going to be different.

It seems to me there are no universals. So this notion of "well wait til you get married" rings hollow.
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« Reply #64 on: January 14, 2014, 01:34:20 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
I said *most* honest, he isn't afraid to show off his failed marriage.
Is a failed marriage the only one worth showing?

Only if you're going to be "most" honest. Roll Eyes Roll Eyes  
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« Reply #65 on: January 14, 2014, 01:36:38 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
I said *most* honest, he isn't afraid to show off his failed marriage.

I've had a failed marriage, too.  Now...does that make me more "honest", or less, because I choose not to "show" it "off"?  Or will I only become REALLY "honest" when I reveal all the details of ALL my relationships?  FWIW, that ain't gonna happen, not here anyway. Grin
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« Reply #66 on: January 14, 2014, 01:40:18 PM »

Sorry Jeff but this thread I fear paints a bleak, somber and gloomy portrait of being married.

What I have gathered so far is that I should look forward to the routine banalities and love the other for it.

Sure there are going to be times of that, no doubt. But it shouldn't be the norm.
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« Reply #67 on: January 14, 2014, 01:41:30 PM »

^ if that is true, and I don't think it is, then marriage most certainly isn't for me.

Marriage shouldn't rob the passion nor intimacy. That sounds crazy.

It's called 'getting your priorities straight'.
There's room for all of that too.

At least Isa was the most honest in this thread.

Who has been dishonest, and in what way, pray tell?
I said *most* honest, he isn't afraid to show off his failed marriage.
Is a failed marriage the only one worth showing?
I'm just saying the degree of honesty isn't as high. I think there lies more behind the projections folks make from their marriages.
Who cares about their projections if they're happy? No relationship really works if you aren't willing to ignore the sins of the other to some degree.

Quote
And really I wanted to avoid ancedotal experiences because obviously its going to be different.
How is Isa's experience any different than being anecdotal?

Quote
It seems to me there are no universals.
Quite, which is why I would only speak in the broadest of terms. What works for me wouldn't work for you, because we ain't very much alike and from what I gather from your past posting you wouldn't settle with a woman like my beloved.

Quote
So this notion of "well wait til you get married" rings hollow.
Not really sure what you're getting at here.
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« Reply #68 on: January 14, 2014, 01:47:16 PM »

Sorry Jeff but this thread I fear paints a bleak, somber and gloomy portrait of being married.

What I have gathered so far is that I should look forward to the routine banalities and love the other for it.

Sure there are going to be times of that, no doubt. But it shouldn't be the norm.

Just make sure you're vastly rich and have a passionate wife that never ages/changes/matures.
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« Reply #69 on: January 14, 2014, 01:59:52 PM »

Who cares about their projections if they're happy? No relationship really works if you aren't willing to ignore the sins of the other to some degree.
But see that's what I want to get at. The blood, sweat and tears of a marriage.

I mean lets have both the worst and best brought forth.

If your marriage sucks or have regrets then speak up, and say explicitly why. Get rid of the forum vanity and be more honest.

Quote
How is Isa's experience any different than being anecdotal?
Well the interesting part is he is divorced.

My problem with trusting the experiences of those still married once is that they could very well be dragging out a terrible marriage for whatever reason that may be.

Love in virtue of doing chores raises an immediate red flag.

Quote
Quite, which is why I would only speak in the broadest of terms. What works for me wouldn't work for you, because we ain't very much alike and from what I gather from your past posting you wouldn't settle with a woman like my beloved.

Well dude I am the best and I want a woman of my equal. If I am getting married only once, I will have it no other way.

Quote
Not really sure what you're getting at here.
This whole reply about "well you arent married to know!" in regards to what actually goes on within it.
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« Reply #70 on: January 14, 2014, 02:09:27 PM »

Well dude I am the best and I want a woman of my equal. If I am getting married only once, I will have it no other way.

Two people who each think they're the best probably wouldn't get along.
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« Reply #71 on: January 14, 2014, 02:10:02 PM »

Who cares about their projections if they're happy? No relationship really works if you aren't willing to ignore the sins of the other to some degree.
But see that's what I want to get at. The blood, sweat and tears of a marriage.

I mean lets have both the worst and best brought forth.

If your marriage sucks or have regrets then speak up, and say explicitly why. Get rid of the forum vanity and be more honest...Love in virtue of doing chores raises an immediate red flag.

What's interesting is that those who talk about having someone take over the unpleasant chores as one of the benefits of marriage is they are women. I don't put 100 percent stock in the "love languages" psychology that gets bandied out every couple of years, but almost across the board women will complain or praise their marriage based in part on their husband's willingness to do chores. There's something about the human experience that speaks specifically to married women about someone who is willing to do something they do not want to do, especially when the motivation is the recipient's comfort.

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« Reply #72 on: January 14, 2014, 02:13:22 PM »

Who cares about their projections if they're happy? No relationship really works if you aren't willing to ignore the sins of the other to some degree.
But see that's what I want to get at. The blood, sweat and tears of a marriage.

I mean lets have both the worst and best brought forth.

If your marriage sucks or have regrets then speak up, and say explicitly why. Get rid of the forum vanity and be more honest.

Did it ever occur to you that people might not want to do so and/or that it might just be none of your business??  Has nothin' to do with being "honest" or some imagined "forum vanity".
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« Reply #73 on: January 14, 2014, 02:21:48 PM »

Sorry Jeff but this thread I fear paints a bleak, somber and gloomy portrait of being married.

What I have gathered so far is that I should look forward to the routine banalities and love the other for it.

Sure there are going to be times of that, no doubt. But it shouldn't be the norm.

Just make sure you're vastly rich and have a passionate wife that never ages/changes/matures.

And who will never tire of you in any way, shape, or form.  This kind of implies that you need to be both vastly rich AND almost perfect.  But, since you, Shiny, are "the best" (even if you do say so yourself  Roll Eyes ), you'll probably just need to work on that being vastly rich thing.  But, how would that then mesh with your "politics".   Grin
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« Reply #74 on: January 14, 2014, 02:29:02 PM »

Who cares about their projections if they're happy? No relationship really works if you aren't willing to ignore the sins of the other to some degree.
But see that's what I want to get at. The blood, sweat and tears of a marriage.

I mean lets have both the worst and best brought forth.

If your marriage sucks or have regrets then speak up, and say explicitly why. Get rid of the forum vanity and be more honest...Love in virtue of doing chores raises an immediate red flag.

What's interesting is that those who talk about having someone take over the unpleasant chores as one of the benefits of marriage is they are women. I don't put 100 percent stock in the "love languages" psychology that gets bandied out every couple of years, but almost across the board women will complain or praise their marriage based in part on their husband's willingness to do chores. There's something about the human experience that speaks specifically to married women about someone who is willing to do something they do not want to do, especially when the motivation is the recipient's comfort.



My wife is a big believer in the whole "love language" thing.  I'm not.  We've had some strong discussions.  We still love each other.
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« Reply #75 on: January 14, 2014, 02:34:26 PM »

^ is that the book on 5 different languages. I've heard of it off hand.

If that gets brought up late in a relationship...well you know the rest.
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« Reply #76 on: January 14, 2014, 02:35:14 PM »

Who cares about their projections if they're happy? No relationship really works if you aren't willing to ignore the sins of the other to some degree.
But see that's what I want to get at. The blood, sweat and tears of a marriage.

I mean lets have both the worst and best brought forth.

If your marriage sucks or have regrets then speak up, and say explicitly why. Get rid of the forum vanity and be more honest.

Did it ever occur to you that people might not want to do so and/or that it might just be none of your business??  Has nothin' to do with being "honest" or some imagined "forum vanity".
And people make it a point their successes be my business. Odd...
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« Reply #77 on: January 14, 2014, 02:36:58 PM »

^ is that the book on 5 different languages. I've heard of it off hand.

If that gets brought up late in a relationship...well you know the rest.
No, it was brought early on.  My Baptist sister gave it to us when we got married.  It's been a thorn in my side ever since. 

So, no, I don't know the rest. Wink
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« Reply #78 on: January 14, 2014, 02:41:35 PM »

I think I have been pretty honest about my relationship with my wife on here.  We have had good times, we have had bad times.  On the whole, I would say the good outweigh the bad; I'm sure for others it is reverse. Anyone that tells you that marriage is an unmitigated joy all the time has never been married or is just lying. Are there times when I would like to just hang it up?  Yes,  but there are also times when I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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« Reply #79 on: January 14, 2014, 02:42:23 PM »

Yeah you know how people rag on here about not marrying someone of a different faith? What you said above validates it.

How is that even still a thorn in your side? Man up.
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« Reply #80 on: January 14, 2014, 02:43:47 PM »

Who cares about their projections if they're happy? No relationship really works if you aren't willing to ignore the sins of the other to some degree.
But see that's what I want to get at. The blood, sweat and tears of a marriage.

I mean lets have both the worst and best brought forth.

If your marriage sucks or have regrets then speak up, and say explicitly why. Get rid of the forum vanity and be more honest.

Did it ever occur to you that people might not want to do so and/or that it might just be none of your business??  Has nothin' to do with being "honest" or some imagined "forum vanity".
And people make it a point their successes be my business. Odd...

But they are under no obligation to share or point out to you their failures if they don't want to.  It has nothing to do with "honesty".  Or is that something you think you "deserve" to know?
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« Reply #81 on: January 14, 2014, 02:44:48 PM »

Yeah you know how people rag on here about not marrying someone of a different faith? What you said above validates it.

How is that even still a thorn in your side? Man up.

Anyone ever tell you you're pushy?
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« Reply #82 on: January 14, 2014, 02:44:56 PM »

I think I have been pretty honest about my relationship with my wife on here.  We have had good times, we have had bad times.  On the whole, I would say the good outweigh the bad; I'm sure for others it is reverse. Anyone that tells you that marriage is an unmitigated joy all the time has never been married or is just lying. Are there times when I would like to just hang it up?  Yes,  but there are also times when I wouldn't trade it for the world.
But dude when someone is saying things have changed to where cleaning out the grime from a bathtub gets you sexually aroused...you just gotta think what he ain't doing in the marriage.

All I'm saying.
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« Reply #83 on: January 14, 2014, 02:45:50 PM »

I think I have been pretty honest about my relationship with my wife on here.  We have had good times, we have had bad times.  On the whole, I would say the good outweigh the bad; I'm sure for others it is reverse. Anyone that tells you that marriage is an unmitigated joy all the time has never been married or is just lying. Are there times when I would like to just hang it up?  Yes,  but there are also times when I wouldn't trade it for the world.
But dude when someone is saying things have changed to where cleaning out the grime from a bathtub gets you sexually aroused...you just gotta think what he ain't doing in the marriage.



ROTFL!!!!
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« Reply #84 on: January 14, 2014, 02:47:09 PM »

Yeah you know how people rag on here about not marrying someone of a different faith? What you said above validates it.

How is that even still a thorn in your side? Man up.

It's my thorn and I deal with it. Kiss  You should take your own advice to "Man up".
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« Reply #85 on: January 14, 2014, 02:50:48 PM »

But dude when someone is saying things have changed to where cleaning out the grime from a bathtub gets you sexually aroused...you just gotta think what he ain't doing in the marriage.

All I'm saying.

a) I get to ogle his rump as he goes about his business.
b) It's one less job for me to do, hence more energy saved to be frisky.

All I'm saying. angel
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« Reply #86 on: January 14, 2014, 02:52:44 PM »

I think I have been pretty honest about my relationship with my wife on here.  We have had good times, we have had bad times.  On the whole, I would say the good outweigh the bad; I'm sure for others it is reverse. Anyone that tells you that marriage is an unmitigated joy all the time has never been married or is just lying. Are there times when I would like to just hang it up?  Yes,  but there are also times when I wouldn't trade it for the world.
But dude when someone is saying things have changed to where cleaning out the grime from a bathtub gets you sexually aroused...you just gotta think what he ain't doing in the marriage.

All I'm saying.
Cheesy

Cute.

I'm sure you know that it isn't the act of cleaning out the bathtub that gets her off. If that were the case, I could hire a maid and have a three-way. It is the fact that I am doing something that is distasteful for her that makes it attractive. My wife makes my lunch which I hate doing.  The fact that she does it without complaining and knows that I don't like doing it makes it special.  Am I saying that I don't want to see her dressed up and looking sexy? No, I like that too.  It is just that your relationship goes deeper.  You see how the other person does things for you and even though they are little sacrifices, the more times it happens, the more the two of you are knit together and become one.
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« Reply #87 on: January 14, 2014, 02:54:46 PM »

But dude when someone is saying things have changed to where cleaning out the grime from a bathtub gets you sexually aroused...you just gotta think what he ain't doing in the marriage.

All I'm saying.

a) I get to ogle his rump as he goes about his business.
b) It's one less job for me to do, hence more energy saved to be frisky.

All I'm saying. angel
Are you saying the husband doing the laundry gets more sex. Wink

And what energy? There are different positions for women just to lie back you know...
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« Reply #88 on: January 14, 2014, 02:57:20 PM »

But dude when someone is saying things have changed to where cleaning out the grime from a bathtub gets you sexually aroused...you just gotta think what he ain't doing in the marriage.

All I'm saying.

a) I get to ogle his rump as he goes about his business.
b) It's one less job for me to do, hence more energy saved to be frisky.

All I'm saying. angel
Are you saying the husband doing the laundry gets more sex. Wink

And what energy? There are different positions for women just to lie back you know...
This has been my experience.  Wink
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« Reply #89 on: January 14, 2014, 03:03:39 PM »

But dude when someone is saying things have changed to where cleaning out the grime from a bathtub gets you sexually aroused...you just gotta think what he ain't doing in the marriage.

All I'm saying.

a) I get to ogle his rump as he goes about his business.
b) It's one less job for me to do, hence more energy saved to be frisky.

All I'm saying. angel
Are you saying the husband doing the laundry gets more sex. Wink

Bonus if he tackles the dishes and remembers to empty the vacuum drum as well. Wink

And what energy? There are different positions for women just to lie back you know...

Ideal for falling asleep in, natch.
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