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« Reply #90 on: January 09, 2014, 04:28:42 AM »

James is my favorite poster in all of OCNetodoxy
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« Reply #91 on: January 09, 2014, 02:15:22 PM »

You just have to like being around each other.  For today's Soul-Mate view of marriage.

 I don't think I'd want to share every interest and goal with my husband.  I can only take so much car stuff and auto racing and I don't quite see how he can listen to an engine and hear all sorts of things I can't hear.  I didn't quite get why there were car parts and tool boxes all over the house, including in the kitchen cabinets and under the bed and I'm doing my best to prevent more auto parts from being stockpiled.  But, I do like being able to stand back and admire him in his own element, such as when he's in his old clothes working on the cars and making things really hum.

Maybe that's the key, to find traits to admire in the other......

And, what ZealousZeal said about sharing a sense of humor.  It's no fun to be with someone who doesn't get your humor.

Well then if you really get annoyed at your husband's car stuff you and I can always have an affair.  Wink Sorry. Bad humour but my dad is in to that and my mom and me cannot stand it either. I mean I do like some of the old cars, but I prefer planes since I have about 60 hours towards my private pilot. That and horses since I like horse racing. When I get back on my feet again I think I'll even bet on them again. Now horse racing and handicapping...that's a real art. And a beautiful sport. So many factors. The horse has intelligence and skill, but so does the jockey. Then there is position and weather factors and I suppose just plain luck. Car racing just ain't the same. But yeah, I think it's great not to be just alike or into the very same things. That'd be sort of boring in a relationship.

There is also an importance of having distance and privacy even when you live together. Like my friend was living with his girlfriend (he made a mistake, even as a good Christian he admits) and she had mental issues. But she was so need on affection that he could not come home from work and have five minutes to himself. She always wanted to be with him to the point of being a shadow. It really made him frustrated with her because while he liked her he said he needed some privacy in the home. I think being close and not spending any time together is important, but it's also important to give the other person distance, whether when dating or when you marry.
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« Reply #92 on: January 09, 2014, 07:05:15 PM »

I could write a book on how to screw relationships up, or how to run away when the going gets crappy.  As for making one work, I plan on writing that book right before I die, supposing I have enough data collected by that point.

Oh, please don't wait that long. Start writing now. It would be a good alternative to Nicholas Sparks' "white people almost kissing" genre. Please, make it stop.

Too late. Someone's done it already. For free.

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« Reply #93 on: January 09, 2014, 07:11:42 PM »

Too late. Someone's done it already. For free.

http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."
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« Reply #94 on: January 09, 2014, 08:26:32 PM »

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."

Why would anyone do that?
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« Reply #95 on: January 09, 2014, 08:28:59 PM »

^I was going to do a play on the phrase "Mi casa es su casa," but thought better of it. How typically male of me though to even think it. I shame myself.
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« Reply #96 on: January 09, 2014, 08:31:26 PM »

Too late. Someone's done it already. For free.

http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."

A great way to turn off the German chicks, dude.
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« Reply #97 on: January 09, 2014, 08:32:07 PM »

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."

Why would anyone do that?

Cause they are not uptight?
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« Reply #98 on: January 09, 2014, 08:44:25 PM »

I suppose being uptight while on the toilet isn't exactly the best condition to be in...   
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« Reply #99 on: January 09, 2014, 08:50:51 PM »

I suppose being uptight while on the toilet isn't exactly the best condition to be in...   

Talk to the numerous women I know who can't break wind in mixed company. They suffer for it on the commode. I know some women who manage on average one bowel movement a week.

Bizarre.
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« Reply #100 on: January 09, 2014, 11:03:36 PM »

I suppose being uptight while on the toilet isn't exactly the best condition to be in...   

Talk to the numerous women I know who can't break wind in mixed company. They suffer for it on the commode. I know some women who manage on average one bowel movement a week.

Bizarre.

Except during their period a recent study from Harvard says when they suffer two bowel movements a week. It also seems according to the study that African American women suffer twice as many but the Southern Poverty Law Center is objecting to the study on grounds of racial prejudice. The Washington Post says President Obama has yet to comment on either his or his wife's bowel movements, though Rush Limbaugh made the statement that they are always putting out crap so it's really a constant thing.
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« Reply #101 on: January 10, 2014, 05:48:54 AM »

Toilet humour, ugh.

I used to visit a family were Mum used to sit on the wc, facing on to the front door, having left the toilet door wide open. This was a regular occurrence, ......wait for it......, the door being left open.
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« Reply #102 on: January 10, 2014, 10:47:35 AM »

Just when I thought I had seen the worst.... Shocked
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« Reply #103 on: January 10, 2014, 10:54:17 AM »

Just when I thought I had seen the worst.... Shocked

Yeah, on that observation I think I will do something else today rather than read this stuff. I used to moderate the Free-For-All boards. Glad I don't now, really glad.
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« Reply #104 on: January 10, 2014, 01:48:30 PM »

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."

Why would anyone do that?

Cause they are not uptight?

And here I thought it was courteous to close the door.
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« Reply #105 on: January 10, 2014, 02:15:50 PM »

Actually it is exactly the entertainment/past-time/hobby connections that I would like to have excluded from the discussion

Then you will fail at relationships. They matter the most. Morals being second. And attractiveness mattering the mostest later on.
No. Just no.

Whatever dude. You are an N of 1. And really, I am not sure you have such a hot relationship or anyone here does who spends as much time here as you do when not working, unless your wife is oc.netting as well.

This stuff has been studied and it is pretty clear what drives long term relationships. Shared activities, values, attractiveness (which become more important over time not less).
lol, I await the posting of your "studies".  Roll Eyes
Do you really need any though?

Best relationships I ever had always involved having the same interests and "hobbies". Then came what her values were, and I've already gone over this controversially here lol.

Now on attractiveness...I haven't lived long enough or had a partner last long enough (I'm thinking 5-10 years here) to where if her physical attractiveness degrades would that also negatively impact the relationship. Im sure it can, maybe sexually.

If I really love a woman, and I'm literally on fire burning with love, I can overlook it. Granted it is the physical attraction at first that grabs your attention after all.
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« Reply #106 on: January 10, 2014, 02:26:14 PM »

Best relationships I ever had always involved having the same interests and "hobbies". Then came what her values were, and I've already gone over this controversially here lol.

Now on attractiveness...I haven't lived long enough or had a partner last long enough (I'm thinking 5-10 years here) to where if her physical attractiveness degrades would that also negatively impact the relationship. Im sure it can, maybe sexually.

If I really love a woman, and I'm literally on fire burning with love, I can overlook it. Granted it is the physical attraction at first that grabs your attention after all.

Make sure you enjoy talking with her. If all goes well, a time will come when talking is all you'll be able to do together.
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« Reply #107 on: January 10, 2014, 02:28:07 PM »

Trisagion I should introduce you to my friend David and his fiancee.

Out of all the people I know, he has the best relationship I have seen by far. And it all started with the same interests and what they love to do (art and video games). It is crazy how much they like the same things and they are enormously happy because of it.

And she herself is pretty attractive for being a game nerd. They are on the same page with everything else too.

It would truly shock me if that relationship ended.
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« Reply #108 on: January 10, 2014, 02:30:43 PM »

Best relationships I ever had always involved having the same interests and "hobbies". Then came what her values were, and I've already gone over this controversially here lol.

Now on attractiveness...I haven't lived long enough or had a partner last long enough (I'm thinking 5-10 years here) to where if her physical attractiveness degrades would that also negatively impact the relationship. Im sure it can, maybe sexually.

If I really love a woman, and I'm literally on fire burning with love, I can overlook it. Granted it is the physical attraction at first that grabs your attention after all.

Make sure you enjoy talking with her. If all goes well, a time will come when talking is all you'll be able to do together.
Yes I agree. Someone who can carry a conversation outside of your normal chit chat banter is great and even better if both people can shut up and dont need to fill up the air with inanities.

That kind of silence where it ain't awkward.
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« Reply #109 on: January 10, 2014, 02:59:36 PM »

James is my favorite poster in all of OCNetodoxy
If we could fast forward 10 years, the only person I would be remotely interested in would be James. I love his honesty.

Now all I want to see is James pimpin'. Too young to stick to longterm monogamy.

Gotta get a feel of different kinds of women. Know what I'm saying?
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« Reply #110 on: January 10, 2014, 03:04:20 PM »

Trisagion I should introduce you to my friend David and his fiancee.

Out of all the people I know, he has the best relationship I have seen by far. And it all started with the same interests and what they love to do (art and video games). It is crazy how much they like the same things and they are enormously happy because of it.

And she herself is pretty attractive for being a game nerd. They are on the same page with everything else too.

It would truly shock me if that relationship ended.
I'm not saying that having similar interests are bad.  Far from it.  I would like it if my wife and I had more in common.  That being said, if your friend Dave and his fiancee have the same relationship in ten or twenty years that they do now, I would be shocked. People's interests change, their perspectives change. Hopes, dreams, ambitions all change. There needs to be something deeper that root the two of you together, and when both people are in their 70's, I seriously doubt that physical attractiveness is what held that relationship together for 50 years.
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« Reply #111 on: January 10, 2014, 03:14:27 PM »

Let me clarify, no I don't think interests should be the bedrock of any relationship, but as far as happiness is concerned it is near the top.

I've been in a relationship where we have nothing in common, and we couldn't even agree on what movie to see at a theater for example. It sucked and was frankly miserable.

You know how much joy it is to find someone who likes and does the same things you do? That atheist I was dating earlier in the year, folks around here said I should have broken it off, man we were just killing it. The fact we could share the same things and not even come up with a disagreement was wonderful.

But you think those commonalities are going to be the glue when life throws major curveballs to knock down the milk bottles? Nope, and that's where I'll agree.

The strength of the relationship through those struggles, comes down to communication, commitment and trust. Get rid of one of those and kiss it goodbye.

But see Tri this is why marriage is a crazy endeavor outside of Church atleast.

You are exactly right, what will happen in 10, 20 or 30 years? I have no idea, and neither do they. Are they going to be ready for the windfalls that can impact their relationship?

Then really nobody should get married with that kind of reasoning.
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« Reply #112 on: January 10, 2014, 03:22:56 PM »

I agree with most of what you say except for the last part. You don't need to be ready for the pitfalls, because you can't predict which pitfalls will occur. Thinking about pitfalls is reactive thinking.  Marriage requires proactive thinking.  The best you can do is both of you commit to the marriage and be willing to put all you can into it, come what may. If either person can't do that, the marriage fails.  It is just like our walk with God; it requires synergy for it to work.  God requires our participation.

The question is not, do you have a good time or do you have stuff in common or are they hawt.  The question is, do you trust that person enough to give them your heart and have faith that they will not destroy it?  Conversely, are you able to sacrifice of yourself enough so that you will put that other person before you and work for their benefit before your own?

If you cannot say yes to those two things after careful examination, you should not get married.  Do things come up?  Yes. We aren't God and we can't know the future, but we can prepare ourselves to be proactive in our marriages rather than reactive to whatever problem might come.
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« Reply #113 on: January 10, 2014, 03:33:18 PM »

Basically James if you decide to get married, make sure you have a pre-nup.

But yeah you should put everything of you, the good and bad, in it. I dunno there should be a lot fewer marriages when you really think about it atleast in America.

People don't want that cross that comes with marriage, and they don't realize it until they are deep in it.

Too caught up in the fantasy-land view of marriage.
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« Reply #114 on: January 10, 2014, 03:37:21 PM »

lol, James with a pre-nup.

Does James have a great amount of wealth that needs to be protected?  My impression was the girl was coming in with all the money.  If that's the case, you don't want a pre-nup. Get that split 50/50.  Cheesy
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« Reply #115 on: January 10, 2014, 03:43:33 PM »

Tri, really with how people talk about marriage on here and such, it sounds like the surefire way to be miserable.

Who wants all that crap you are talking about? All these sacrifices, suffering, etc.

Like I said not everyone should be married.
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« Reply #116 on: January 10, 2014, 03:45:26 PM »

Tri, really with how people talk about marriage on here and such, it sounds like the surefire way to be miserable.

Who wants all that crap you are talking about? All these sacrifices, suffering, etc.

Like I said not everyone should be married.
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« Reply #117 on: January 10, 2014, 03:51:26 PM »

Basically James if you decide to get married, make sure you have a pre-nup.

But yeah you should put everything of you, the good and bad, in it. I dunno there should be a lot fewer marriages when you really think about it atleast in America.

People don't want that cross that comes with marriage, and they don't realize it until they are deep in it.

Too caught up in the fantasy-land view of marriage.

And to think...this is supposed to be an Orthodox Christian forum.
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« Reply #118 on: January 10, 2014, 03:54:37 PM »

^ how is any of the above not "Orthodox".
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« Reply #119 on: January 10, 2014, 03:55:22 PM »

lol, James with a pre-nup.

Does James have a great amount of wealth that needs to be protected?  My impression was the girl was coming in with all the money.  If that's the case, you don't want a pre-nup. Get that split 50/50.  Cheesy
James has a heart of gold. So absolutely that needs to be on there.
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« Reply #120 on: January 10, 2014, 03:58:05 PM »

Tri, really with how people talk about marriage on here and such, it sounds like the surefire way to be miserable.

Who wants all that crap you are talking about? All these sacrifices, suffering, etc.

Like I said not everyone should be married.

I think even St. Paul said something to that effect.  But there are also plenty of crosses/sacrifices/suffering, etc. in remaining unmarried.  Marriage, the saying goes, is a "calling", and not everyone is called.

I'm married.  It's wonderful and it's painful (usually not simultaneously, though  Grin ).  Just like the rest of life.
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« Reply #121 on: January 10, 2014, 03:58:27 PM »

^ how is any of the above not "Orthodox".
You are right. This is your post to which I intended my response:
Quote
If we could fast forward 10 years, the only person I would be remotely interested in would be James. I love his honesty.

Now all I want to see is James pimpin'. Too young to stick to longterm monogamy.

Gotta get a feel of different kinds of women. Know what I'm saying?
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« Reply #122 on: January 10, 2014, 04:04:47 PM »

Because James should.

It would be tragic if he got married to his first real girlfriend outside of school.

And thats where I disagree with orthonorm here, at least in reflection of myself. I know my best friend since the 5th grade and he hasn't changed.

Me on the other hand, if I went back 5 years ago I would hardly recognize myself. Maybe its maturity, maybe its I did not get caught up in the religion thing but I am certain who I am today differs from myself in the past. Maybe I wasn't fully realized my potential until later or whatever.

I'm just saying James is too young.

He should be getting girls left and right. I would hate to see his heart broken over a relationship he shouldn't have been involved in.

Wish there was an age requirement for religion. Its a burden.

Not all girls are worthy of James IMO. Some will want to harm him.
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« Reply #123 on: January 10, 2014, 04:11:37 PM »

I would say that is quite a bit different than pimpin'

Although, maybe pimpin' has a different meaning now than what it did when I was a kid.
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« Reply #124 on: January 10, 2014, 04:15:49 PM »

I would say that is quite a bit different than pimpin'

Although, maybe pimpin' has a different meaning now than what it did when I was a kid.

My, how times and words do change  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes:
Quote
Pimpin
1) To work it with a member of the opposite sex
2) A compliment used when someone is wearing platinum chains, Fubu™ clothes, etc.
3) An object of high appeal

also see pimpette
1) Ricky is pimpin wit dem hoes
2) Damn dawg, your pimpin it with that chain
3) That Jaguar is pimpin

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pimpin

But...what on earth does "to work it..." mean?  Or, shouldn't I ask?
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« Reply #125 on: January 10, 2014, 04:16:21 PM »

My last post was projection, yes. If you go through some serious heart crushin it changes your perception on a lot of things.

For me I just got mad I wasted my time trying to be this husband like person.

Tri, I just want to see James happy and enjoying himself. Youth is a terrible thing to waste right.

Look at the regrets GiC has over getting his degree at a seminary or whatever. I would hate for regrets to befall James.

Hold off on the marrying and the monasticism. Be a normal 18 year old American male, then come back when you are older and take the Orthodox thing seriously.
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« Reply #126 on: January 10, 2014, 04:19:19 PM »

I don't know GiC, so I don't know what regrets those might be.  I've seen his name a couple of times, but that is it.

Actually, I agree with you.  There is really no reason anyone in their teens or even early 20s should be thinking about marriage.  Get to know (not in the Biblical sense) those of the opposite sex. As time goes on, you will get a better idea of who and what you want in life.
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Somebody just went all Jack Chick up in here.
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« Reply #127 on: January 10, 2014, 04:20:21 PM »

I would say that is quite a bit different than pimpin'

Although, maybe pimpin' has a different meaning now than what it did when I was a kid.

My, how times and words do change  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes:
Quote
Pimpin
1) To work it with a member of the opposite sex
2) A compliment used when someone is wearing platinum chains, Fubu™ clothes, etc.
3) An object of high appeal

also see pimpette
1) Ricky is pimpin wit dem hoes
2) Damn dawg, your pimpin it with that chain
3) That Jaguar is pimpin

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pimpin

But...what on earth does "to work it..." mean?  Or, shouldn't I ask?
I think he is saying that he wants James to wear FUBU clothing.  I know I want that for James as well.  Cheesy
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« Reply #128 on: January 10, 2014, 04:20:34 PM »

I don't know GiC, so I don't know what regrets those might be.  I've seen his name a couple of times, but that is it.

Actually, I agree with you.  There is really no reason anyone in their teens or even early 20s should be thinking about marriage.  Get to know (not in the Biblical sense) those of the opposite sex. As time goes on, you will get a better idea of who and what you want in life.
Yup.

But dude people around here want the return to marriages at 18. In this day and age? Hilarious. Good luck.
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« Reply #129 on: January 10, 2014, 04:21:06 PM »

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."

Why would anyone do that?

Cause they are not uptight?

And here I thought it was courteous to close the door.

Pfft. Doors are for squares. Everyone who's really on the cutting edge of being edgy poops in a publicly-installed aquarium now.

I'll give you one guess as to what this is:



Hint: I took that photo from a website called "theportlandegotist", and in Portland they do not know the difference between edgy and...ahem...crappy.  Undecided
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« Reply #130 on: January 10, 2014, 04:25:01 PM »

My last post was projection, yes. If you go through some serious heart crushin it changes your perception on a lot of things.

For me I just got mad I wasted my time trying to be this husband like person.

Tri, I just want to see James happy and enjoying himself. Youth is a terrible thing to waste right.

Look at the regrets GiC has over getting his degree at a seminary or whatever. I would hate for regrets to befall James.

Hold off on the marrying and the monasticism. Be a normal 18 year old American male, then come back when you are older and take the Orthodox thing seriously.

JamesR can be a "normal 18 year old American male" (whatever THAT is) and still "take the Orthodox thing seriously."  Well, you know, on second thought, maybe not.  Perhaps he should scrap the "normal 18 year old American male" (whatever THAT is) schtick, and take the Orthodox thing seriously, as an 18 year old Orthodox American male.  But what do I know...I'm just an abnormal old American male....
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"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)
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« Reply #131 on: January 10, 2014, 04:27:23 PM »

I would say that is quite a bit different than pimpin'

Although, maybe pimpin' has a different meaning now than what it did when I was a kid.

My, how times and words do change  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes:
Quote
Pimpin
1) To work it with a member of the opposite sex
2) A compliment used when someone is wearing platinum chains, Fubu™ clothes, etc.
3) An object of high appeal

also see pimpette
1) Ricky is pimpin wit dem hoes
2) Damn dawg, your pimpin it with that chain
3) That Jaguar is pimpin

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pimpin

But...what on earth does "to work it..." mean?  Or, shouldn't I ask?
I think he is saying that he wants James to wear FUBU clothing.  I know I want that for James as well.  Cheesy

Oh, okay...Thanks!  But, what's "FUBU clothing"?  Or, shouldn't I ask?
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"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)
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« Reply #132 on: January 10, 2014, 04:29:17 PM »

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."

Why would anyone do that?

Cause they are not uptight?

And here I thought it was courteous to close the door.

Pfft. Doors are for squares. Everyone who's really on the cutting edge of being edgy poops in a publicly-installed aquarium now.

I'll give you one guess as to what this is:



Hint: I took that photo from a website called "theportlandegotist", and in Portland they do not know the difference between edgy and...ahem...crappy.  Undecided

I have a hard enough time in a stall!
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« Reply #133 on: January 10, 2014, 04:31:31 PM »

"DON’T POOP WITH THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN."

Why would anyone do that?

Cause they are not uptight?

And here I thought it was courteous to close the door.

Pfft. Doors are for squares. Everyone who's really on the cutting edge of being edgy poops in a publicly-installed aquarium now.

I'll give you one guess as to what this is:



Hint: I took that photo from a website called "theportlandegotist", and in Portland they do not know the difference between edgy and...ahem...crappy.  Undecided

I have a hard enough time in a stall!

That picture is really an upgraded Tardis.  I'm sure you'd "do" just fine inside it's roomy self.
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"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)
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« Reply #134 on: January 10, 2014, 04:36:18 PM »

Jeff, I don't think being Orthodox at 18 is healthy.
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“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

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