Avoiding Family

[mikeforjesus]

As the years go by I realise I never spend much time with mum and dad without arguing.
How can I spend more time with them if what interests them bores me. The news and work. I leave it all for my childish hobbies like tv and video games.
My parents are not flexible enough or able to watch the things I like or play the games I play. Can you make suggestions or hobbies I can take up to spend more time with them? How does one spend more time with his mother? when they call me it is sometimes to help around the house but I don't stay long enough under such as making quick decisions and the thought that it will never end is torture to me

[mikeforjesus]

Perhaps every one should be on their own seeking their salvation. I should worry about the kingdom / my future family if I have one
Hence Jesus says

Matthew 8:21-22
New King James Version (NKJV)
21 Then another of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”

22 But Jesus said to him, “Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”

But all my plans to serve God end up being a waste of time and just childish thinking. I think watching tv and playing games is serving God but the gain over the loss is very small as compared to something else which is the more fruitful way of serving God which I have not found yet

[Arachne]

How exactly are you serving God through watching TV and playing games?

[mikeforjesus]

Because it makes my brain bigger. And this will help in a variety of life situations. Games may improve my reaction speed. By watching tv I will have something to talk about to others which makes me more social and be able to outreach to others by being friendly. If I am good at a game I can find friends with similar hobbies and therefore build a friendship with them and opportunity to share my faith. Also being good at a game may make others impressed by my perseverance in being good at a game. Also being fun loving is a good witness to Jesus perhaps. Showing gratefulness to God who gives us richly all things to enjoy. He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much. I can teach others how to play a game for free. Did not Jesus teach to make a feast to all the poor of the people (He mentioned lame and maimed) and He meant to strangers

[Arachne]

And with all that... improvement, you can't find a scrap of perseverance to put into an effort to relate to your parents and what they find interesting?

[mikeforjesus]

I know I need to improve but I am an extremist. It is either all or nothing. I need to find balance
or maybe I would not give my all to something boring. I like to have dreams
I care not only for my family or for the church but I care for the whole world

[Arachne]

I am an extremist. It is either all or nothing.

That there is your problem, and until you put some effort into changing the situation, you're going nowhere fast.

Dreams are all well and good, but unless you want them to remain just dreams, there's plenty of hard and boring work ahead. Becoming good at something you don't necessarily like doing is a big part of what being an adult is about.

[mikeforjesus]

Thats right. I hope I will try to be better. But I sometimes lack vision. Why work when I don't forsee any results or accomplishments?
I think I am supposed to work with little vision and that bothers me
I guess I should not pursue something without a vision of the outcomes but some may say vision comes about later

[Arachne]

You know the saying about the best laid plans... Projects of all kinds have a way of going off in different directions than anticipated, and certainly not sticking to schedules.

[LBK]

Thats right. I hope I will try to be better. But I sometimes lack vision. Why work when I don't forsee any results or accomplishments?
I think I am supposed to work with little vision and that bothers me

Dreams without work won't put a roof over your head. Dreams without putting effort in won't put food on the table. And, really, saying "Because it makes my brain bigger" to justify watching TV and playing video games (I suspect you do these at the expense of study) sounds like something a small child would say, not someone in his late 20s going to university.

[mikeforjesus]

true well I pray I find balance and be more responsible. He who is faithful over little is faithful also in much

[LBK]

true well may the LORD help me find balance and be more responsible. He who is faithful over little is faithful also in much

The Lord's help comes when you work at it as well. He won't hand out goodies on a platter for you.

[mikeforjesus]

That is true but the LORD can do what He wants

[LBK]

That is true but the LORD can do what He wants

What He wants to do is His call. You can't play games with God.

[mikeforjesus]

That is true but the LORD can do what He wants

What He wants to do is His call. You can't play games with God.

May the LORD grant me to be pleasing to Him

[LBK]

That is true but the LORD can do what He wants

What He wants to do is His call. You can't play games with God.

May the LORD grant me to be pleasing to Him

Which means you need to actually do things which are pleasing to God. Just dreaming about it won't cut it.

[Asteriktos]

I would just echo what Arachne and LKB have already said. Think of it as constructing a building, if that helps. Some days you may get a lot done, some days not much, but just try to do something each day, try to add one more brick or shingle or tile. You aren't going to get a ton done most days, and that's fine, just do what you can and work on moving forward in life. Maybe a thing you can do it is sitting down (or calling if that's better) for a few minutes to ask one of your parents how their day is going, or how their sick sister is. Or tell them that you're going to the library and ask them if there's something (book, DVD, etc.) you can pick up for them. Or maybe something isn't officially/specifically your responsibility to do, but you can do it anyway (take the trash out, wash some dishes, vacuum). Maybe give them a thank you (greeting) card, just because you appreciate them; it doesn't have to be thanking them for something specific, just be thankful in general.  Caring about the world is laudable, but it is in our relationships with individuals that this will manifest itself and have an impact. Regarding vision, that can be helpful, but often a vision changes as you experience more and your life situation changes; it must be flexible, and it's a problem if, at some point in time, it happens to be vague or uncertain. Just do what you think/know will be helpful or good. IMO.

[IoanC]

I think it's great to have personal hobbies and activities, but I believe relationships are very important. Try to love the people in your life and be close to their hearts if you can. Love doesn't cost anything, but it is very rewarding to see how the people in your life benefit from it.

[primuspilus]

Everything in moderation. Im a huge gamer, and I have alot of hobbies. However, I dont let that get in the way of personal relationships. Its all in moderation.

PP

[mikeforjesus]

Thanks I appreciate your advices. I must obey them

[yeshuaisiam]

As the years go by I realise I never spend much time with mum and dad without arguing.
How can I spend more time with them if what interests them bores me. The news and work. I leave it all for my childish hobbies like tv and video games.
My parents are not flexible enough or able to watch the things I like or play the games I play. Can you make suggestions or hobbies I can take up to spend more time with them? How does one spend more time with his mother? when they call me it is sometimes to help around the house but I don't stay long enough under such as making quick decisions and the thought that it will never end is torture to me

I am not judging you.

The scriptures say "When I became a man I put away my childish things"....

[JamesR]

Why does it matter? Avoiding family is good; a lot less stress, at least for me.

[katherineofdixie]

Thats right. I hope I will try to be better. But I sometimes lack vision. Why work when I don't forsee any results or accomplishments?
I think I am supposed to work with little vision and that bothers me
I guess I should not pursue something without a vision of the outcomes but some may say vision comes about later

I hope this doesn't sound depressing, but working without a vision of the outcome is a large part of what we call "real life."

A priest once advised me to do the next right thing. That would be difficult enough, he said, and he was correct.

What do you think the "next right thing" would be to do about your parents?

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