Author Topic: Schlock Orthoproducts  (Read 37036 times)

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Offline Dominika

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #270 on: April 07, 2016, 04:05:46 PM »
Most of them are Roman Catholic, but there are some Orthodox too:
https://www.facebook.com/Galeria-KICZU-Religijnego-219041134936500/photos
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Offline Agabus

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #271 on: April 07, 2016, 04:47:25 PM »


It is your discovery. This Mosaic Icon is created by 1848 Christian Icons. Here are used Christian Icons of Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Jesus Christ, Archangels, Angels and Saints. Mosaic Icon practically is a “Catalog of the Christian Icons on one page”. You buy one poster - thus buy thousands of icons.
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

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Offline Volnutt

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #272 on: April 07, 2016, 04:49:18 PM »
I'm sure I could make all kinds of images if I was allowed to tint the composite pictures any way I wanted lol.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #273 on: April 07, 2016, 05:07:52 PM »


It is your discovery. This Mosaic Icon is created by 1848 Christian Icons. Here are used Christian Icons of Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Jesus Christ, Archangels, Angels and Saints. Mosaic Icon practically is a “Catalog of the Christian Icons on one page”. You buy one poster - thus buy thousands of icons.

"You buy one poster - thus buy thousands of icons"!!! 
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #274 on: April 08, 2016, 01:41:30 PM »
That would take quite some time to venerate them all.
God bless!

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #275 on: April 08, 2016, 03:44:52 PM »
That would take quite some time to venerate them all.

Yeah, you'd have lip bruises by the end.  ;D
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #276 on: April 12, 2016, 05:08:28 AM »
Most of them are Roman Catholic, but there are some Orthodox too:
https://www.facebook.com/Galeria-KICZU-Religijnego-219041134936500/photos

These are beyond belief - I just skimmed them and was horrifiede. My first thought was that the halters with Our Lady of Guadalupe on them were the worst, but then I saw the Pope John Paul and Mother Theresa dolls - which look like characters from a Chuckie horror movie, the crucified Christ made of balloons, and more. I had to stop when I saw the Madonna and Child pictured on a thong.

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Offline Dominika

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #277 on: November 18, 2016, 04:00:30 PM »


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Offline mike

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #278 on: November 18, 2016, 04:02:49 PM »
Is there a  point in posting such pictures of stuff from shops that made any custom prints on any items?
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Offline Dominika

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #279 on: November 18, 2016, 04:20:43 PM »
Is there a  point in posting such pictures of stuff from shops that made any custom prints on any items?

If they openly present such (so certain) offer, I think there is.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2016, 04:21:54 PM by Dominika »
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #280 on: November 18, 2016, 04:24:26 PM »
Not strictly Orthodox, but too good to pass up, the St. Benedict medal USB flash drive:


Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline Asteriktos

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #281 on: November 18, 2016, 06:06:42 PM »
Not strictly Orthodox, but too good to pass up, the St. Benedict medal USB flash drive:



Why hasn't Hollywood used this kind of thing yet? I could totally see this (or more likely, a St. Anthony one) being used in a campy plot which requires some kind of exchange of information between spies. Naturally the spy receiving it is an atheist who has no use for such trinkets, but takes it out of respect, and through various scenes slowly realises that maybe religion and religious items aren't so useless as they thought, till they finally understand that their "salvation lies within" the object given to them.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2016, 06:07:01 PM by Asteriktos »

Offline wgw

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #282 on: November 18, 2016, 07:11:04 PM »
Not strictly Orthodox, but too good to pass up, the St. Benedict medal USB flash drive:



We should one-up this by developing Bluetooth-enabled vigil lamps.

Axios and many years to you, Fr. Trenham!

Offline wynd

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #283 on: November 21, 2016, 11:29:06 AM »
Why hasn't Hollywood used this kind of thing yet? I could totally see this (or more likely, a St. Anthony one) being used in a campy plot which requires some kind of exchange of information between spies. Naturally the spy receiving it is an atheist who has no use for such trinkets, but takes it out of respect, and through various scenes slowly realises that maybe religion and religious items aren't so useless as they thought, till they finally understand that their "salvation lies within" the object given to them.

Andy Dufresne would like a word.

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #284 on: November 21, 2016, 01:14:16 PM »
This thread has crossed all limits of cringeworthiness.
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Offline Agabus

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #285 on: December 29, 2016, 05:22:20 PM »
This thread has crossed all limits of cringeworthiness.

To throw kerosine on the fire:



I know it's a Catholic thing so I'll just call it Wester Rite schlock.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2016, 05:23:33 PM by Agabus »
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline Antonis

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #286 on: December 29, 2016, 05:31:00 PM »
"Verily they that seek Thee, Lord, and keep the canons of Thy Holy Church shall never want any good thing.”
St. John the Merciful

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Offline Dominika

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #287 on: January 28, 2017, 05:36:24 PM »
An usage of the icons (some of them schlock icons) for the smartphone:
http://frbillmcnichols-sacredimages.com/shop/galaxy+cases







I can't understand that the author has no problems with the eyes of saints covered by the hole for the camera :o
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Offline rakovsky

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #288 on: January 29, 2017, 09:18:52 PM »
An usage of the icons (some of them schlock icons) for the smartphone:
http://frbillmcnichols-sacredimages.com/shop/galaxy+cases
...

I can't understand that the author has no problems with the eyes of saints covered by the hole for the camera :o
Yeah, it's like NWO stuff.
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Offline Dominika

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #289 on: May 03, 2017, 08:44:37 AM »
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Offline juliogb

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #290 on: May 03, 2017, 09:29:39 AM »
LOL. So earnest it's almost Evangelical.




I'd like to see a red cap with the phrase ''Make Istambul Constantinople Again''.

Offline Dominika

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #291 on: May 12, 2018, 07:00:40 AM »
Holy Serbia

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Offline Alpha60

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #292 on: May 12, 2018, 09:10:33 AM »
That would take quite some time to venerate them all.

Yeah, you'd have lip bruises by the end.  ;D

At least you would not have cut your chin shaving, which appears in that poster to have happened to the Theotokos due to the bizarre use of red icons on the right side of her chin.   What was the point of that?  They used almost as many red icons there as in depicting her lips.

At that, its better than these found by Dominika:

An usage of the icons (some of them schlock icons) for the smartphone:
http://frbillmcnichols-sacredimages.com/shop/galaxy+cases







I can't understand that the author has no problems with the eyes of saints covered by the hole for the camera :o

These come across as making Our Lady look like a robot; actually I recall seeing a droid in one of the Star Wars films with that pattern of cameras as its face.  I feel like saying to the guy who designed those, “Do you actually look at your work or do you just create these products blindfolded?”   Actually they have the appearance of computer-designed products, of the sort you can have created, where your chosen image or logo gets randomly splashed across a diverse array of products (CafePress is responsible for some of these monstrosities).
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Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #293 on: May 12, 2018, 09:22:17 AM »

At least you would not have cut your chin shaving, which appears in that poster to have happened to the Theotokos due to the bizarre use of red icons on the right side of her chin.   What was the point of that?  They used almost as many red icons there as in depicting her lips.


Nothing at all bizarre about the patch of red on the Mother of God's chin in the composite image. Ever heard of the Iveron icon of the Mother of God? Also known as Portaitissa/Of the Portal>:( ::)
Am I posting? Or is it Schroedinger's Cat?

Offline Alpha60

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #294 on: May 12, 2018, 09:35:18 AM »

At least you would not have cut your chin shaving, which appears in that poster to have happened to the Theotokos due to the bizarre use of red icons on the right side of her chin.   What was the point of that?  They used almost as many red icons there as in depicting her lips.


Nothing at all bizarre about the patch of red on the Mother of God's chin in the composite image. Ever heard of the Iveron icon of the Mother of God? Also known as Portaitissa/Of the Portal>:( ::)

I have a copy of it as my primary icon for venerating our Lord and Theotokos, which was the first icon I ever acquired in fact, at the Syriac Orthodox convention in 2013 shortly after my conversion.  I’ve never seen a version of that icon, or anything original, that looks like the massive open wound in the collage of icons linked to above.

My point is that in the collage, the wound was exaggerated to a ridiculous extent, to the point where it looks like someone kissed the icon while wearing a massive amount of lipstick.    They used almost as many red icons as tiles in depicting it as they did in depicting her lips, and of the same shade! 

What it does not look like, to me at least, is the blood-streaming wound that appeared on the icon when it was attacked by the Iconoclasts.  The red stain is in the wrong location, and is the wrong color.  Compare:

http://orthochristian.com/49458.html

Someone not familiar with Iveron would have no idea what that collage was trying to depict.  I think this is because they tried to form it using a collage of icons, rather than just painting a single icon according to tradition, which is the right way to do it.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2018, 09:43:11 AM by Alpha60 »
"It is logical that the actions of the human race over time will lead to its destruction.  I, Alpha 60, am merely the agent of this destruction."

- The computer Alpha 60, from Alphaville (1964) by Jean Luc Godard, the obvious inspiration for HAL-9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. 

This signature is not intended to offend any user, nor the relatives of Discovery 1 deputy commander Dr. Frank Poole,  and crew members Dr. Victor Kaminsky, Dr. Jack Kimball, and Dr. Charles Hunter.

Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #295 on: May 12, 2018, 09:50:58 AM »

My point is that in the collage, the wound was exaggerated to a ridiculous extent, to the point where it looks like someone kissed the icon while wearing a massive amount of lipstick.    They used almost as many red icons as tiles in depicting it as they did in depicting her lips, and of the same shade!


Nonsense. Spare us your verbal exaggerations. You've been caught out, and you don't like it. As for the location of the wound on the Mother of God's face, it can vary, depending on who has painted the icon. Sometimes it is on her cheek, sometimes on the chin. This does not detract from the meaning of the icon.
Am I posting? Or is it Schroedinger's Cat?

Offline Alpha60

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #296 on: May 12, 2018, 10:52:07 AM »
Holy Serbia



Is that a seatbelt buckle???  :o
« Last Edit: May 12, 2018, 10:52:27 AM by Alpha60 »
"It is logical that the actions of the human race over time will lead to its destruction.  I, Alpha 60, am merely the agent of this destruction."

- The computer Alpha 60, from Alphaville (1964) by Jean Luc Godard, the obvious inspiration for HAL-9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. 

This signature is not intended to offend any user, nor the relatives of Discovery 1 deputy commander Dr. Frank Poole,  and crew members Dr. Victor Kaminsky, Dr. Jack Kimball, and Dr. Charles Hunter.

Offline Dominika

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #297 on: May 12, 2018, 01:14:46 PM »
Holy Serbia



Is that a seatbelt buckle???  :o

Yep.
I must add that I wrote "Serbia" as I'd found it on Serbian page, however the picture itself is from Russia.
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Offline Alpha60

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #298 on: May 12, 2018, 02:03:34 PM »
Holy Serbia



Is that a seatbelt buckle???  :o

Yep.
I must add that I wrote "Serbia" as I'd found it on Serbian page, however the picture itself is from Russia.

I have to confess I kind of like it.   :-[
"It is logical that the actions of the human race over time will lead to its destruction.  I, Alpha 60, am merely the agent of this destruction."

- The computer Alpha 60, from Alphaville (1964) by Jean Luc Godard, the obvious inspiration for HAL-9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. 

This signature is not intended to offend any user, nor the relatives of Discovery 1 deputy commander Dr. Frank Poole,  and crew members Dr. Victor Kaminsky, Dr. Jack Kimball, and Dr. Charles Hunter.

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #299 on: May 12, 2018, 05:47:48 PM »
http://orthochristian.com/49458.html

Thanks for posting this; I didn't know of this story before today.  :)
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #300 on: May 14, 2018, 10:17:44 AM »
http://orthochristian.com/49458.html

Thanks for posting this; I didn't know of this story before today.  :)

Orthodoxy has some pretty cool stuff eh?  ;)
"It is logical that the actions of the human race over time will lead to its destruction.  I, Alpha 60, am merely the agent of this destruction."

- The computer Alpha 60, from Alphaville (1964) by Jean Luc Godard, the obvious inspiration for HAL-9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. 

This signature is not intended to offend any user, nor the relatives of Discovery 1 deputy commander Dr. Frank Poole,  and crew members Dr. Victor Kaminsky, Dr. Jack Kimball, and Dr. Charles Hunter.

Offline Dominika

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« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 07:37:50 PM by Dominika »
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #302 on: May 22, 2018, 07:41:59 PM »
I love that the guy has the most ironic, punchable facial expression ever.

Is Halloween a big thing in Greece? Is it just an American import or is there some historical folk stuff?
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Offline augustin717

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #303 on: May 22, 2018, 07:51:01 PM »


Edited to resize only - Agabus.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2018, 11:36:56 PM by Agabus »
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #304 on: May 22, 2018, 08:23:10 PM »
Kind of funny, Google Reverse Image search suggests the tag "sad man" (I know it's Arsenie Boca).

Resize tags are "Img Height (or Width)=number" if you didn't know.
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #305 on: May 30, 2018, 05:00:18 PM »


Edited to resize only - Agabus.
What's so schlocky, besides the fact it looks like a Catholic holy card?
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Anyhow when God was asked he said Eastern Orthodox is true Church and not Catholic Church. So come home and enjoy.

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #306 on: May 30, 2018, 05:16:10 PM »
As I recall, Boca was pretty aggressively antisemitic (and without the weakly plausible deniability of St. John Chrysostom or St. Nikolai Velimirovic). Maybe I'm misremembering, though.
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Offline RobS

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #307 on: June 20, 2018, 09:54:06 AM »
Heh, my girlfriend has a BW photo of Arsenie Boca on her bookshelf. What's your opinion of him augustin?
« Last Edit: June 20, 2018, 09:54:34 AM by RobS »
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Offline Iconodule

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #308 on: June 20, 2018, 10:02:35 AM »
I had heard that Fr Arsenie taught reincarnation and other weird stuff. EDIT moving this to another thread...
« Last Edit: June 20, 2018, 10:03:47 AM by Iconodule »
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Offline augustin717

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #309 on: June 20, 2018, 10:36:28 AM »
Heh, my girlfriend has a BW photo of Arsenie Boca on her bookshelf. What's your opinion of him augustin?
he’s omnipresent. But especially on bus boards . His popularity though is the result of a banal but deliberate marketing campaign by some orthodox institutions. It’s a long story but it has been thoroughly investigated a few years ago.
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Offline Justin Kolodziej

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #310 on: June 20, 2018, 11:12:13 AM »
Never heard of him. Guess that's a good thing.
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #311 on: June 20, 2018, 11:25:53 AM »
I must confess I don't know anything about this picture but its schlock all right:

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Offline Alpha60

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #312 on: June 25, 2018, 01:08:41 PM »
Moving my post to another thread...
« Last Edit: June 25, 2018, 01:09:24 PM by Alpha60 »
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Offline Sampson

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #313 on: July 12, 2018, 08:29:07 PM »
I like Uncut Mountain's stuff, but some of the new shirts strike me as kind of schlock-ish.



Offline Justin Kolodziej

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #314 on: July 12, 2018, 08:43:17 PM »
I like Uncut Mountain's stuff, but some of the new shirts strike me as kind of schlock-ish.



The first one defeats its own purpose, if you think about it.
The second one is schlock because it's a blatant Death to the World ripoff :D
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