Author Topic: Schlock Orthoproducts  (Read 10840 times)

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Offline Romaios

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #90 on: December 04, 2013, 09:57:26 AM »
It's not that bad, cheap, and strong but a bit too sweet to my taste.

Isn't communion wine supposed to be sweet?

OTOH I remember a Catholic priest saying the opposite, but it might have been his own preference (since he alone partakes of the chalice). Or maybe he just meant it should have no added sugar.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2013, 10:02:21 AM by Romaios »

Offline mike

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #91 on: December 04, 2013, 09:58:14 AM »
It's not that bad, cheap, and strong but a bit too sweet to my taste.

Isn't communion wine supposed to be sweat?

I mean, for recreational usage.
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #92 on: December 04, 2013, 10:36:27 AM »
It's not that bad, cheap, and strong but a bit too sweet to my taste.

Isn't communion wine supposed to be sweet?

OTOH I remember a Catholic priest saying the opposite, but it might have been his own preference (since he alone partakes of the chalice). Or maybe he just meant it should have no added sugar.

All I know is that it is all Kosher and fortified from what I have seen. Manny for every man!
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #93 on: December 04, 2013, 10:42:31 AM »
All I know is that it is all Kosher and fortified from what I have seen. Manny for every man!

Is this an acceptable wine for the Eucharist?  It's certainly the most common in my experience.
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Offline GabrieltheCelt

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #94 on: December 04, 2013, 10:57:47 AM »
You wouldn't want a fine bracelet lovingly crafted by a friend?  ;) I already have a prototype photoshopped using some of your favorites!  8)

Oooo, goody! Can I have a look? Pretty-please?  :laugh:

Well, okay... but it totally ruins the surprise:



 You've almost redeemed yourself with this.
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Offline GabrieltheCelt

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #95 on: December 04, 2013, 11:06:43 AM »






 And the newly released, currently discussed on another thread:  St. Theophan Beer.

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Offline ZealousZeal

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #96 on: December 04, 2013, 02:49:14 PM »
You've almost redeemed yourself with this.

I hesitate to ask, but from what?
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #97 on: December 04, 2013, 10:23:25 PM »
I about choked.



Yup, I'd say that takes the gold medal for Orthoschlock.

I won't disagree. There couldn't possibly be anything out there worse than this, could there? Could there??  ::) ::)

I'd say be careful what you ask for, but it really seems like you want to know. May God have mercy on your soul.
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #98 on: December 04, 2013, 10:25:43 PM »

And if he gets thirsty after achieving theosis through branding, he can always take a drink from this, which no doubt hangs around his neck next to his baptismal cross:




In case anyone was wondering what to get The Trisagion for Christmas...  ;D
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #99 on: December 04, 2013, 10:27:12 PM »
From the Schlock Icons thread:

Nothing wrong with the icons themselves, but trust the Serbs to put them on liquor bottles, often with a prayer to the saint on the reverse: :o :o





Just in case some folks think the bottle is intended for holy water, here's the packaging:



And some copper-clad versions:




I suppose having the prayer on hand after getting ironed out on slivovits makes a bit of sense ...  :P




Those are awesome. I wish I had at least one. Full. With shot glass ready.
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #100 on: December 04, 2013, 10:29:05 PM »
An icon of Christ topped with "In the name of Christ the Savior" as a wine label?  :o :o :o :o

IIRC that's communion wine - we used that brand in church some years back.

That's not meant to be an excuse for the icons on their label...

As long as you soak the labels off, dry them, and decoupage them to little boards to hang in your icon corner (or wall, or room, or backyard cathedral) you're fine.
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #101 on: December 04, 2013, 10:30:20 PM »
IIRC that's communion wine - we used that brand in church some years back.

That wine can be bought in every second store.

You should export it to America. I'll take two cases.
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #102 on: December 04, 2013, 10:31:35 PM »
All I know is that it is all Kosher and fortified from what I have seen. Manny for every man!

Is this an acceptable wine for the Eucharist?  It's certainly the most common in my experience.

Blech! God save us from such wine.
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #103 on: December 04, 2013, 10:35:53 PM »

Also available with the Bridegroom icon.


« Last Edit: December 04, 2013, 10:38:40 PM by Agabus »
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Offline lovesupreme

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #104 on: December 04, 2013, 10:39:54 PM »
Welp, it didn't take long for the crown to be removed...

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #105 on: December 04, 2013, 10:41:15 PM »
There couldn't possibly be anything out there worse than this, could there? Could there??  ::) ::)


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« Last Edit: December 04, 2013, 10:41:49 PM by Mor Ephrem »
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #106 on: December 04, 2013, 10:46:06 PM »
For when you can't be a monk but want to play like you've got a cassock in the kitchen, the Death to the World apron.

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Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #107 on: December 04, 2013, 11:56:19 PM »
For when you can't be a monk but want to play like you've got a cassock in the kitchen, the Death to the World apron.


LOL!

THAT IS SO RIDICULOUS

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« Last Edit: December 04, 2013, 11:57:39 PM by NicholasMyra »
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Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #108 on: December 05, 2013, 02:36:07 AM »
There couldn't possibly be anything out there worse than this, could there? Could there??  ::) ::)


Also available with the Bridegroom icon.




You beat me to it. Prophecy fulfilled.  :P :o :o :o Made even schlockier by the inclusion of the Jesus Prayer.  >:( >:( >:(

Agabus, you win the thread. Sic dixit LBK.  :P :D
« Last Edit: December 05, 2013, 02:39:28 AM by LBK »
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Offline Shiny

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #109 on: December 05, 2013, 03:27:07 AM »
For when you can't be a monk but want to play like you've got a cassock in the kitchen, the Death to the World apron.


Lock this thread up, I don't think it can be topped.
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Offline Shiny

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #110 on: December 05, 2013, 03:27:07 AM »
I gotta cop that apron for my Lenten BBQs
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #111 on: December 05, 2013, 08:29:53 AM »

Also available with the Bridegroom icon.

I'm glad that it's made in the USA.  I can buy a box and give it to all my girlfriends for Christmas.
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Offline genesisone

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #112 on: December 05, 2013, 02:52:45 PM »
For when you can't be a monk but want to play like you've got a cassock in the kitchen, the Death to the World apron.


Only my life insurance beneficiaries would want me to eat that cook's food.

Offline mike

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #113 on: December 05, 2013, 05:28:06 PM »

Also available with the Bridegroom icon.

I'm glad that it's made in the USA.  I can buy a box and give it to all my girlfriends for Christmas.

I wanted to make not decent joke but in the final moment I changed my mind.
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Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #114 on: December 06, 2013, 01:17:50 PM »

Thank you for changing your mind.

That image is totally unacceptable...and I'm amazed some of you are actually joking about it, instead of finding it offensive.

smh
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Offline IoanC

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #115 on: December 06, 2013, 01:26:34 PM »
Don't mean to be rude, but about 90% of Orthodoxy is a schlock product to me. The other 10% is gold and rare. The real challenge would be a thread about absolutely authentic products.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 01:29:06 PM by IoanC »

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #116 on: December 06, 2013, 01:51:18 PM »

Please explain what you just said.

90% of ORTHODOXY is schlock to you?

...and you claim to be Orthodox?

Sheesh!
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Offline IoanC

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #117 on: December 06, 2013, 01:53:25 PM »

Please explain what you just said.

90% of ORTHODOXY is schlock to you?

...and you claim to be Orthodox?

Sheesh!


I don't claim any Orthodoxy is schlock, but what is done/made in the name of it. Let's see that thread about really authentic stuff; you'll see how we all get stuck.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 01:53:46 PM by IoanC »

Offline rakovsky

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #118 on: December 06, 2013, 02:01:31 PM »
Don't mean to be rude, but about 90% of Orthodoxy is a schlock product to me. The other 10% is gold and rare. The real challenge would be a thread about absolutely authentic products.

Ioan,

Not to change the subject from the thread, but your picture- wow.



His Wikipedia article says:
Quote
"Obviously one realizes the danger when working with animals of this caliber, I've weighed the pros and I've weighed the cons, and the pros far outweigh the cons."

It says:
Quote
It is the nature of lions to scratch each other and they regard Richardson no differently.
So basically, if everything is going well you will get scratched by lions occasionally.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 02:07:48 PM by rakovsky »

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #119 on: December 06, 2013, 02:02:18 PM »

Please explain what you just said.

90% of ORTHODOXY is schlock to you?

...and you claim to be Orthodox?

Sheesh!


I don't claim any Orthodoxy is schlock, but what is done/made in the name of it. Let's see that thread about really authentic stuff; you'll see how we all get stuck.

You ought to reword your statement then.

It's not Orthodoxy that is schlock, but, people's interpretation and actions which are.
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Offline IoanC

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #120 on: December 06, 2013, 02:04:40 PM »

Please explain what you just said.

90% of ORTHODOXY is schlock to you?

...and you claim to be Orthodox?

Sheesh!


I don't claim any Orthodoxy is schlock, but what is done/made in the name of it. Let's see that thread about really authentic stuff; you'll see how we all get stuck.

You ought to reword your statement then.

It's not Orthodoxy that is schlock, but, people's interpretation and actions which are.


Sure, can reword it, but it's also how you read it.

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #121 on: December 06, 2013, 02:10:58 PM »

Thank you for changing your mind.

That image is totally unacceptable...and I'm amazed some of you are actually joking about it, instead of finding it offensive.

smh

It is an image of an actual product.  In and of itself it cannot offend.  More offensive would be those Orthodox Christians who buy such things and support the person who makes it.
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #122 on: December 06, 2013, 02:17:18 PM »

No...the image is offensive in that there is no other use for the product being depicted other than sticking it on your private parts.

If I posted an image of a private part....would that not be offensive because it's just an image of it, and not really it?

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #123 on: December 06, 2013, 02:21:54 PM »

No...the image is offensive in that there is no other use for the product being depicted other than sticking it on your private parts.

If I posted an image of a private part....would that not be offensive because it's just an image of it, and not really it?



No, this is an article of clothing.  With an icon of it.  There shouldn't be an icon on any underwear or daily clothing.  Or beer/liquor bottles.  Pick a non-liturgical product and an icon should probably not be there.  Posting a picture of genitals, OTOH, are against the rules.  Context would be important, e.g. a still from a porn film versus a picture from an anatomy and physiology textbook.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 02:22:16 PM by hecma925 »
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Offline IoanC

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #124 on: December 06, 2013, 02:23:09 PM »
I envy him. I wish animals were that close to me, but I think they generally want to kill me for food. :)

Don't mean to be rude, but about 90% of Orthodoxy is a schlock product to me. The other 10% is gold and rare. The real challenge would be a thread about absolutely authentic products.

Ioan,

Not to change the subject from the thread, but your picture- wow.



His Wikipedia article says:
Quote
"Obviously one realizes the danger when working with animals of this caliber, I've weighed the pros and I've weighed the cons, and the pros far outweigh the cons."

It says:
Quote
It is the nature of lions to scratch each other and they regard Richardson no differently.
So basically, if everything is going well you will get scratched by lions occasionally.

Online Agabus

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #125 on: December 06, 2013, 03:49:40 PM »


You can hang it in a church so people can know what time it is even when the liturgy steps outside time.



Not sure why the icon is upside down.
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Online Agabus

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #126 on: December 06, 2013, 03:52:08 PM »
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Online Agabus

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #127 on: December 06, 2013, 04:02:48 PM »
Because nothing teaches a child icons are sacred like letting them scribble on a picture of St. Mary of Egypt’s face.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 04:03:04 PM by Agabus »
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Offline orthonorm

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #128 on: December 06, 2013, 06:13:54 PM »


You can hang it in a church so people can know what time it is even when the liturgy steps outside time.



Not sure why the icon is upside down.

LOL!

This is all solid material. How of this stuff are you shopping up yourself?

Best thread in a while. Wow.
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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #129 on: December 06, 2013, 06:36:35 PM »


You can hang it in a church so people can know what time it is even when the liturgy steps outside time.



Not sure why the icon is upside down.

LOL!

This is all solid material. How of this stuff are you shopping up yourself?

Best thread in a while. Wow.
This is 100 percent curated from the Internet by searching phrases like "cool Greek Orthodox gear" and "unique Orthodox presents." I promise that if I have posted it here, it can be purchased.

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« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 06:39:39 PM by Agabus »
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

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Offline mike

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #130 on: December 06, 2013, 11:05:41 PM »
Because nothing teaches a child icons are sacred like letting them scribble on a picture of St. Mary of Egypt’s face.


I see nothing wrong with that icon.
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #131 on: December 07, 2013, 12:53:30 AM »
For when you can't be a monk but want to play like you've got a cassock in the kitchen, the Death to the World apron.


LOL!

THAT IS SO RIDICULOUS

We just need an Orthodoxy or Death fanny pack

LOL.
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #132 on: December 07, 2013, 12:54:51 AM »

Thank you for changing your mind.

That image is totally unacceptable...and I'm amazed some of you are actually joking about it, instead of finding it offensive.

smh

Maybe we joke about it BECAUSE we find it offensive.
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If you spend long enough on this forum, you'll come away with all sorts of weird, untrue ideas of Orthodox Christianity.
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #133 on: December 07, 2013, 12:57:13 AM »

No...the image is offensive in that there is no other use for the product being depicted other than sticking it on your private parts.


No other use? Really? Not even as fuel for the fire in which to burn whoever thought it up?
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Offline LBK

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Re: Schlock Orthoproducts
« Reply #134 on: December 07, 2013, 08:36:30 AM »

I actually ran across some more thongs today with "IC XC NIKA" on them. I can really only pray it's someone intending to blaspheme, because otherwise  Orthodox people are even more accidentally iconoclastic than I originally believed.


Young 'un buys icon underwear online. Kewl!

Mother (or father) finds these garments in the laundry basket ....
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