I am new to these forums, so please forgive me if I post this in the wrong place.
I am in need of some advise: A couple years ago, I moved to Europe with family> then I was baptised in the Orthodox church> then shortly after, our family situation changed> We left Europe> We went home for almost 2 years (there is no Orthodox Church in my Country, so I was not able to attend church)> Now approximately 2 years after, I am temporarily back in Europe (the same country I was baptised), and I visited the church I was baptised in, hoping to get some advise from the priest.
Okay, that is my story. Now: the actual problem: In the last week I visited the church on 2 days, one time for a Matin, another time for a Vigil. I did not attend liturgy, as I live very far away from the Church's city. and my only train to go home for that weekend left the city at the same time the Liturgy started.
This is my problem. I basically never attended a Liturgy since I was Baptised. Partly because I was away for 2 years, in a country with no Orthodox Church, and even now that I am back, I was not able to attend because of the time my Train left the City.
I am making arrangement to stay in the city next week (not this weekend, the next one), so that I can attend the liturgy, but I am afraid. I know I have nothing to be afraid of, but It will be my first time and I will not know what to do. To make things worse, I know that the church will probably be full. I get panic attacks in crowds, and not knowing what to do, plus standing in a full church during the liturgy frightens me. Plus I have a number of questions. Should I go for communion, during my next (and first) liturgy? Should I do a Confession First?
When I visited the church last week, I asked the Priest if he would have time to give me some advise. He told me that he is too busy to talk, and gave me his card to send him an email, then he left the church. Thankfully he did have enough time to give me my Baptismal Certificate before he left. I called him the next day and asked if we could make an appointment to talk, but he said that he is so busy that he doesn't have any time, and again: to send him an email. I understand that he is actually busy, but I am still confused after speaking to him because he has no time to explain anything.
Sorry for making this post so long, but I really need some advise. Now my question again:
1) Should I go for communion on my next liturgy OR do I need to do a confession first? I tried asking the priest this when I met him, but he again asked me to send him an email because he didn't have time to talk. I hope that some of you here could give me advise.
I will be looking out for your replies,