I don't think many would have a problem if you said: "I thought it was where I could best work out my salvation with fear and trembling."
Thanks for legitimating my emotional outburst with your rational response.
Sorry, that I mostly tend to post here when I get emotional about something.
But, how many people on here thought that was an obvious response? Like I should have known that?
There is no possible way I ever would have been creative enough to guess that in a million years!
One time I announced I was totally confused and couldn't see a reason to come back
and a lady came up to me and said, "...but, You have to save your soul...!!!"
And I'm totally baffled, like RC's don't have a soul, they just follow rules; and I'm a robot anyways?
So the next time I went up to the front after liturgy I asked the Priest and the Bishop: "Can you help me save my soul?"
And they busted out laughing at me and said, "We'll do our best, but there's no guarantees..."
and I'm thinking, you guys are just up here in Halloween Costume, aren't you?
I don't even know what a soul is, and you both treat it like a business transaction.
Fear and trembling?
Why does it have to be fear and trembling? Why is it okay for the priests to constantly terrorize you?
Why can't it just be about education & learning and obtaining knowledge, understanding & wisdom?
Why all the suffering and emotional devastation?
When did God go from being a loving and caring--protective God, to a terrorizing mean angry God?
What if I find working out my salvation to be irrelevant, and I just want to get married, or be with my own kind, ancestrally?
Like did all the cradle Orthodox go through these endless questions before they were allowed to join the church?
Why do you have to bother working out your salvation, anyways?
What does that even mean? Sorry, but you lost me on that one.
Aren't you just supposed to follow the rules?
Are there even any rules to follow in Orthodoxy?
It appears to be all chaos and randomness to me,
with no central rudder or factual basis holding anything together.
Like infinite negation in an endless hall of mirrors.
When I first entered the Church I knew zero about it,
and now I know like -50 about it.
My reality is coming apart at the seams by attending there.
Where am I going wrong? Any helpful advice would be appreciated, thanks.
(And for those who say don't listen to those on discussion boards, perhaps
I'm hoping for experienced based replies, instead of quotations out of books.)
What on earth is a soul?
Why do you have to "work out" your salvation?
What is salvation anyways?
I don't know any RC's "working out their salvation".
They just care about football, bingo, or whatever other secular activities are going on around them.
No deep thinkers there.
Why do I have to lie to everyone and pretend to be working out my salvation
to be able to join a church, when I don't even know what salvation is?
When I think about "Salvation", I think of a Cranberries Song:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KotlCEGNbh8