First time posting, but I've been lurking for nearly a year. My husband and I, along with our 5 kids, left Mormonism unofficially a little over a year ago. Both of us started feeling uneasy about the religion and its doctrines shortly after the birth of our toddlers and the intense interaction we had the with church and its members during that time. Both my husband and I were BIC, temple endowed, temple married, BYU attending, Return missionary (my husband) from mormon convert families. We were about as true blue, squeaky mormon as it can get. My husband's family is extreme mormon, so much so that if they even had a whiff of him leaving they'd probably disown him. Mine know I no longer wear garments, don't keep the WOW or go to church and have engaged in some intense conversations with me about it. I think the fact that my parents were never really devout mormon helps in that regard.
Around February of this year I hit rock bottom trying to figure out who I was. I felt completely lost. With the loss of our faith it was like a gaping hole opened in both our souls. We literally lost our entire support system, friends, faith - everything. The only thing we haven't lost is our families, which, once they know we are resigning from the LDS church, well...we'll see. It's amazing how much of our lives were intertwined with the church. One night I started thinking about who I wanted to be and I remembered an old friend I'd lost touch with years ago. She is the sweetest, kindest, humblest person I've ever known. Truly loving and caring. I remembered how much I admired those traits in her and thought 'I'd want to be like Anne if I had to reinvent myself', and then rememembered that she once told me about the church she joined - the Antiochian Orthodox Church. From that point I started looking things up on the internet and reading anything and everything I could get my hands on. I started telling my husband about what I was learning, and he was surprised. He'd never heard of Orthodoxy. He figured there was only Protestant Churches and Catholicism, as I think most lifelong LDS do. Neither one of us knew about the history of the early Church. We were both surprised to hear that there wasn't a 'Great Apostasy'. That was an eye opener. I contacted a couple of priests in our area (we live in Utah, so it's kinda slim pickins...) and have been in contact with one priest since February who has been very kind in answering my questions and giving me a reading list. We have yet to go to DL simply because of logistics. We have 5 children, 3 yrs and under and another on the way. It's a task getting out anywhere! My husband and I plan on going to DL tomorrow with our oldest and leaving the others with grandpa. I'm really excited about going and hope my husband finds it uplifting as well. The priest recommended a catechism oriented book, which I read and loved, along with some others. I'm currently reading 'The Orthodox Faith', Eusibius 'History of the Church', along with other books written by ancient and more modern Church fathers and Saints.
I'm having a few problems, mostly trying to reconcile a lifetime of indoctrination vs. what Christianity really IS. The Trinity is a big one. It's hard to wrap my mind around, but from what I've read if I could wrap my mind around it, it wouldn't be a Mystery, right? So, that I can accept. But it's mostly the little things. Pretty much everything I've learned and known is upside down. I'm like a baby Christian, learning everything for the first time and it's extremely overwhelming. I don't know how to pray, at least not in the Mormon way. I realized after leaving Mormonism that I don't know Jesus or God at all. I know of them, but I don't know Them. I want to change that for myself, but mostly for the sake of my children.
Does anyone here have small children they bring to DL? How do you keep them preoccupied? I tried attending the local parish, but my 3 yr old was simply unruly, even confining her to the narthex and cry room was almost impossible. It was a small parish, with no small kids in sight, so mine making a ruckus was VERY noticeable. The parish we're attending tomorrow according to the priest has lots of small kids and is much bigger, so we shouldn't have a problem with sticking out as much. The priest has 6 kids himself, so it'll be a bit better I think. But, any ideas would be appreciated.
Thank you in advance!
