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Author Topic: "Pregnant Woman Files Charges Over Belly Rubbing"  (Read 2657 times) Average Rating: 0
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Dpaula
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« Reply #45 on: October 29, 2013, 01:29:45 PM »

Actually, I did not.  However, these kids know and love me, as much as I know and love them.  I am like an aunt to each one.  They come to me with their fears and their tears and their joys.  When I walk in the room, they actually come running to me, expecting the hug, to be picked up, to be cuddled.  Even the teenagers come up to me waiting for a hug.

As I mentioned, I do not hug or touch kids who are not "close" to me.  So, if Achronos's kids were to come up to me, I would bend down and talk to them and maybe pat their heads.

I normally do not run up to the kids to give them a hug.  My hug comes as a response to those little outstretched hands coming towards me.  I am not the initiator, nor do I feel a "need" to touch them....only to express my love to those whom I know and care for.

Touching a strange belly because there is a child within, would never enter my mind.  The most I would do is be nicer to the pregnant woman, let her go ahead of me, give her my seat, etc.  I would never even ask if I could touch her, because that would just be wrong.

You are lucky you don't live in the "old" country  Smiley  ....where you would get your hand slapped because the woman and her baba would think you were trying to curse the child, take their youth or health for yourself, etc, by touching them.  Normally, the child is protected from all strangers (evil eye....) until it is properly baptized.


You may think you're like an aunt, but their parents might consider you a stranger.
"Don't be touching on my child even though in his innocence (key word -innocence) he wants a hug. He don't know any better and you might be a perv who just wants to rub on my child."
Just saying.......
This society makes me sick sometimes.
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« Reply #46 on: October 29, 2013, 01:55:33 PM »

lol Ask for permission first. Don't just go around petting people's bellies! I don't think it's really polite to be doing that to strangers either.
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« Reply #47 on: October 29, 2013, 02:20:50 PM »

Actually, I did not.  However, these kids know and love me, as much as I know and love them.  I am like an aunt to each one.  They come to me with their fears and their tears and their joys.  When I walk in the room, they actually come running to me, expecting the hug, to be picked up, to be cuddled.  Even the teenagers come up to me waiting for a hug.

As I mentioned, I do not hug or touch kids who are not "close" to me.  So, if Achronos's kids were to come up to me, I would bend down and talk to them and maybe pat their heads.

I normally do not run up to the kids to give them a hug.  My hug comes as a response to those little outstretched hands coming towards me.  I am not the initiator, nor do I feel a "need" to touch them....only to express my love to those whom I know and care for.

Touching a strange belly because there is a child within, would never enter my mind.  The most I would do is be nicer to the pregnant woman, let her go ahead of me, give her my seat, etc.  I would never even ask if I could touch her, because that would just be wrong.

You are lucky you don't live in the "old" country  Smiley  ....where you would get your hand slapped because the woman and her baba would think you were trying to curse the child, take their youth or health for yourself, etc, by touching them.  Normally, the child is protected from all strangers (evil eye....) until it is properly baptized.


You may think you're like an aunt, but their parents might consider you a stranger.
"Don't be touching on my child even though in his innocence (key word -innocence) he wants a hug. He don't know any better and you might be a perv who just wants to rub on my child."
Just saying.......
This society makes me sick sometimes.

...actually, the parents have no issues, and often in church will send their kids to stand with me.  They are well aware of their kids' affections towards me and mine towards them. 

See, that's the difference.  They all know me.  They all know I would do anything for any one of those children, whom I greatly love.

Now, if I were in line at a grocery store, and some unknown child wondered over and raised her arms to me....I would not pick her up, nor hug her, but, perhaps take her by that outstretched hand and lead her back to the parent, or take her to the front counter to have her parent paged.



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« Reply #48 on: October 29, 2013, 02:40:41 PM »

You may think you're like an aunt, but their parents might consider you a stranger.
"Don't be touching on my child even though in his innocence (key word -innocence) he wants a hug. He don't know any better and you might be a perv who just wants to rub on my child."
Just saying.......
This society makes me sick sometimes.

So, how often do you go around hugging/touching random children and/or pregnant women?
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« Reply #49 on: October 29, 2013, 03:31:42 PM »

You may think you're like an aunt, but their parents might consider you a stranger.
"Don't be touching on my child even though in his innocence (key word -innocence) he wants a hug. He don't know any better and you might be a perv who just wants to rub on my child."
Just saying.......
This society makes me sick sometimes.
You really don't get it do you.

Liza was more charitable than I would have been.

I could use a hug from Liza though.
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« Reply #50 on: October 29, 2013, 03:34:49 PM »


Next time I see you, you're getting a huge bear hug from me!  Cheesy
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« Reply #51 on: October 29, 2013, 03:35:17 PM »


Next time I see you, you're getting a huge bear hug from me!  Cheesy
Should have told me you were in PA.
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« Reply #52 on: October 29, 2013, 03:43:15 PM »


Should of.  It was a beautiful drive.  It's a lovely state.
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« Reply #53 on: October 29, 2013, 04:00:25 PM »

I would love to touch orthonorm's pregnant belly.  Idc if he sues me, it would be worth it.
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« Reply #54 on: October 29, 2013, 04:01:42 PM »


Orthonorm sporting a pregnant belly would be rather newsworthy.
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« Reply #55 on: October 29, 2013, 04:02:55 PM »


Orthonorm sporting a pregnant belly would be rather newsworthy.

This is how orthonorm gets the girls, and Dpaula confirmed it.
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« Reply #56 on: October 29, 2013, 04:04:00 PM »

^ Arnold Schwarzenegger already beat him to it. Smiley
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« Reply #57 on: October 29, 2013, 04:04:39 PM »


Orthonorm sporting a pregnant belly would be rather newsworthy.

This is how orthonorm gets the girls, and Dpaula confirmed it.
He births them?

Orthonorm gets stranger and stranger by the moment.  laugh
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« Reply #58 on: October 29, 2013, 04:12:10 PM »


Orthonorm sporting a pregnant belly would be rather newsworthy.

This is how orthonorm gets the girls, and Dpaula confirmed it.
He births them?

Orthonorm gets stranger and stranger by the moment.  laugh
He does get plenty of strangers.

Its why he is always in a great mood.
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« Reply #59 on: October 29, 2013, 04:14:04 PM »

There might be some conflict between Western and traditional culture in this. Maybe pregnant women are one of the last vestiges of non-individualist culture.

I still think it's extremely awkward though.
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« Reply #60 on: October 29, 2013, 05:28:35 PM »

There might be some conflict between Western and traditional culture in this. Maybe pregnant women are one of the last vestiges of non-individualist culture.

I still think it's extremely awkward though.

So, creepy people who come up to pregnant women and rub their bellies without asking are actually the few, enlightened non-individualists?  Communitarianists, if you will; "it takes a village" and all that.

No.
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« Reply #61 on: October 29, 2013, 05:31:13 PM »

never felt the urge to rub a pregnant belly. it kinda pushes me away . i prefer flat bellies for rubbing purposes.
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« Reply #62 on: October 29, 2013, 05:34:41 PM »

I would love to touch orthonorm's pregnant belly.  Idc if he sues me, it would be worth it.

I am beginning to doubt Achronos' commitment since I've yet to see a shop of this.
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« Reply #63 on: October 29, 2013, 05:45:55 PM »

There might be some conflict between Western and traditional culture in this. Maybe pregnant women are one of the last vestiges of non-individualist culture.

I don't know anything about individualist vs. non-individualist cultures, but I do know that pregnant women are individual human beings who deserve to have their wishes respected as far as who may touch them and who may not, same as any other people.

Why are some things so easily reduced to political abstractions? The lady didn't want her belly touched and her neighbor went ahead and did it anyway. They're probably both from the same culture, and the guy is a creep regardless.
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« Reply #64 on: October 29, 2013, 05:50:16 PM »

american culture has extremely low tolerance for touching anyways. in general.
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« Reply #65 on: October 29, 2013, 05:54:08 PM »

I don't even like people standing around on the corner outside of my apartment building. Get outta here, you probably drug-selling bums.
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« Reply #66 on: October 29, 2013, 05:55:08 PM »

I don't even like people standing around on the corner outside of my apartment building. Get outta here, you probably drug-selling bums.

Hahahaha, this was me all the time when I lived in an apartment.
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« Reply #67 on: October 29, 2013, 05:55:23 PM »

I don't even like people standing around on the corner outside of my apartment building. Get outta here, you probably drug-selling bums.

LOL!  You are a bit TOO sensitive!  How do you handle standing in church and rubbing elbows with others?
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« Reply #68 on: October 29, 2013, 06:00:36 PM »

I just want to jump in and give the 'back in the day' answer.  This was never odd or creepy when I was growing up, but also, never did someone just reach out and start rubbing.  

I've seen it many times--a person, most often a friend or relative, will comment on how you're 'glowing,' and then they would ask permission!  More often than not, they would ask the mother if the baby was kicking, but then if they wanted to touch the mother's stomach, they 1) always asked first, and 2) it was to see if they could feel the baby (men especially, as pregnancy is something they can't experience first-hand), and 3) there was never any rubbing involved.  It was a touch.  If given permission, they placed their hand on the mother's stomach in the hopes of feeling a kick, or the baby's hand or foot.  At no point in time did the rubbin' commence.

As a society, we've just gotten entirely too weird.
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« Reply #69 on: October 29, 2013, 06:03:16 PM »

I just want to jump in and give the 'back in the day' answer.  This was never odd or creepy when I was growing up, but also, never did someone reach out and just start rubbing. 

I've seen it many times--a person, most often a friend or relative, will comment on how you're 'glowing,' and then ask permission!  More often than not, they would ask the mother if the baby was kicking, but then if they wanted to touch the mother's stomach, they 1) always asked first, and 2) it was to see if they could feel the baby (men especially, as pregnancy is something they can't experience first-hand), and 3) there was never any rubbing involved.  It was a touch.  If given permission, they placed their hand on the mother's stomach in the hopes of feeling a kick, or the baby's hand or foot.  At no point in time did the rubbin' commence.

As a society, we've just gotten entirely too weird.

This was my experience, too.  If you aren't family or an intimate friend, you better ask.  Otherwise, it's just weird.
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« Reply #70 on: October 29, 2013, 06:21:24 PM »

Apparently some people do. It's rather strange and somewhat rude if you ask me. Pregnant women are often so insecure and emotionally volatile because of what they are going through that I wouldn't want to possibly do anything that could further tick her off or add to her troubles. I'd never bring up a woman's pregnancy either--it will only make her feel fat and even more depressed. Only time I rub a pregnant woman's belly is when she offers or asks me to, and I do it to be polite. Personally, I find it kind of scary and creepy. I wouldn't want to somehow be responsible for a miscarriage or birth defect on the baby if some freak accident occurred.
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« Reply #71 on: October 29, 2013, 06:25:07 PM »

I don't even like people standing around on the corner outside of my apartment building. Get outta here, you probably drug-selling bums.

Hahahaha, this was me all the time when I lived in an apartment.

Ugh, seriously. My apartment is on the corner. I can hear you selling drugs and getting into fights and whatnot. I can hear it. It's literally less than 5 feet outside my window.  Undecided

LOL!  You are a bit TOO sensitive!  How do you handle standing in church and rubbing elbows with others?

Our church is so small, this doesn't really happen unless there's some reason for someone to be right next to me (say, when there's a priest from Egypt who doesn't speak English and they want to translate the important parts of his sermon in a low voice without bothering other people; that's fine).

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« Reply #72 on: October 29, 2013, 06:53:46 PM »

Apparently some people do. It's rather strange and somewhat rude if you ask me. Pregnant women are often so insecure and emotionally volatile because of what they are going through that I wouldn't want to possibly do anything that could further tick her off or add to her troubles. I'd never bring up a woman's pregnancy either--it will only make her feel fat and even more depressed. Only time I rub a pregnant woman's belly is when she offers or asks me to, and I do it to be polite. Personally, I find it kind of scary and creepy. I wouldn't want to somehow be responsible for a miscarriage or birth defect on the baby if some freak accident occurred.

She said "Touch," not "Punch." Wink

Ugh, seriously. My apartment is on the corner. I can hear you selling drugs and getting into fights and whatnot. I can hear it. It's literally less than 5 feet outside my window.  Undecided

We had a lot of burglaries and a few murders in the complex I lived in.  Thank God I only lived there for three years.  It was the cheapest place that would accept my dogs.  I had to have German Shepherds so people wouldn't bother us.  Go figure. Roll Eyes Shocked
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« Reply #73 on: October 29, 2013, 07:25:06 PM »

Apparently some people do. It's rather strange and somewhat rude if you ask me. Pregnant women are often so insecure and emotionally volatile because of what they are going through that I wouldn't want to possibly do anything that could further tick her off or add to her troubles. I'd never bring up a woman's pregnancy either--it will only make her feel fat and even more depressed. Only time I rub a pregnant woman's belly is when she offers or asks me to, and I do it to be polite. Personally, I find it kind of scary and creepy. I wouldn't want to somehow be responsible for a miscarriage or birth defect on the baby if some freak accident occurred.
Yes, the classic male faux pas: NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant or assume that she is when you talk to her. If she isn't pregnant, then you basically just called her fat.
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« Reply #74 on: October 29, 2013, 07:32:30 PM »

I would love to touch orthonorm's pregnant belly.  Idc if he sues me, it would be worth it.

I am beginning to doubt Achronos' commitment since I've yet to see a shop of this.
You really teasing me?
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« Reply #75 on: October 29, 2013, 07:46:23 PM »


Yes, the classic male faux pas: NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant or assume that she is when you talk to her. If she isn't pregnant, then you basically just called her fat.


 
I am totally passing for pregnant.  If someone asks me my due date, I just give them one. 
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« Reply #76 on: October 29, 2013, 09:13:06 PM »

I had my belly rubbed against my will with each pregnancy. People do it, but I will say that the greater percentage in my limited experience was women. I would just take a step back while smiling and try to remind myself that it's good that people are excited about babies... so excited that they've seemingly forgotten the baby is living in me still. It's rude and people should know better, but it's never ruined my day so much I felt the need to file harassment charges.
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« Reply #77 on: October 29, 2013, 09:18:37 PM »

I had my belly rubbed against my will with each pregnancy. People do it, but I will say that the greater percentage in my limited experience was women. I would just take a step back while smiling and try to remind myself that it's good that people are excited about babies... so excited that they've seemingly forgotten the baby is living in me still. It's rude and people should know better, but it's never ruined my day so much I felt the need to file harassment charges.
Did anyone keep going when you told them to stop?
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« Reply #78 on: October 29, 2013, 10:37:44 PM »

Ok. Don't take my word for it.
Read some studies about the importance of touch, touch deprivation, touch as a communication tool in a human and non-human and so on.



It all very much depends on the person, and also on whether one knows the person. Touching can also send mixed or wrong messages.
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« Reply #79 on: October 29, 2013, 10:40:43 PM »

While I understand touching pregnant's belly might be uncomfortable suing for that or comparing it to sexual assault is ridiculous.

I think in this case it was about the specific context.
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« Reply #80 on: October 29, 2013, 10:45:22 PM »

Ok. Don't take my word for it.
Read some studies about the importance of touch, touch deprivation, touch as a communication tool in a human and non-human and so on.



And don't kiss my kids.

I got a story invloving that too.

yes!! Good one! But honestly, I haven't seen that done at all nowadays! Who does that?

This is too strange for me.
Maybe I grew up differently, maybe I was raised to love humans, related or not, known or not. A pat on my shoulder, a touch on my hand, a hug, a kiss on the cheek or forehead...they are all normal as far as I'm concerned.
You guys CAN kiss my kids. It's ok.

I grew up like that too! And in school, I have the fondest memories of TEACHERS hugging AND kissing me on the head. I felt loved because it was innocently expressed. Can you imagine a teacher doing that now? No! Touching, let alone kissing, is prohibited! Even rubbing a child's back! I think that is sad.

You are so right! I remember when a teacher would hug me , I felt so much appreciation and I felt important and I had this feeling that I'm being recognized for my merits, like I'm doing something good to deserve a hug from THE teacher.
I work in a school now and you are right...nobody is allowed to touch the children. It IS sad!

I had a teacher who was a shoulder-toucher. It was creepy and uncomfortable. I'm sure he was okay, but there was another teacher at the school who is now serving time for criminal touching. There have to be boundaries.
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« Reply #81 on: October 29, 2013, 10:51:28 PM »

never felt the urge to rub a pregnant belly. it kinda pushes me away . i prefer flat bellies for rubbing purposes.

Please tell me there is a Romanian village folk custom related to belly rubbing. It's okay if you just make it up.
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« Reply #82 on: October 29, 2013, 10:52:17 PM »

never felt the urge to rub a pregnant belly. it kinda pushes me away . i prefer flat bellies for rubbing purposes.

Please tell me there is a Romanian village folk custom related to belly rubbing. It's okay if you just make it up.
I hope it involves that wizard too.
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« Reply #83 on: October 29, 2013, 10:53:01 PM »

I don't even like people standing around on the corner outside of my apartment building. Get outta here, you probably drug-selling bums.

LOL!  You are a bit TOO sensitive!  How do you handle standing in church and rubbing elbows with others?

Hate it.
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« Reply #84 on: October 29, 2013, 10:54:05 PM »

I just want to jump in and give the 'back in the day' answer.  This was never odd or creepy when I was growing up, but also, never did someone reach out and just start rubbing. 

I've seen it many times--a person, most often a friend or relative, will comment on how you're 'glowing,' and then ask permission!  More often than not, they would ask the mother if the baby was kicking, but then if they wanted to touch the mother's stomach, they 1) always asked first, and 2) it was to see if they could feel the baby (men especially, as pregnancy is something they can't experience first-hand), and 3) there was never any rubbing involved.  It was a touch.  If given permission, they placed their hand on the mother's stomach in the hopes of feeling a kick, or the baby's hand or foot.  At no point in time did the rubbin' commence.

As a society, we've just gotten entirely too weird.

This was my experience, too.  If you aren't family or an intimate friend, you better ask.  Otherwise, it's just weird.

Wouldn't it also be weird if a stranger came up to you and asked to rub your belly?
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« Reply #85 on: October 29, 2013, 10:57:50 PM »

I had my belly rubbed against my will with each pregnancy. People do it, but I will say that the greater percentage in my limited experience was women. I would just take a step back while smiling and try to remind myself that it's good that people are excited about babies... so excited that they've seemingly forgotten the baby is living in me still. It's rude and people should know better, but it's never ruined my day so much I felt the need to file harassment charges.

You could make an off-hand comment as they're rubbing your belly, "Yeah, I've been feeling sicker than usual since becoming pregnant. Had to send a sample to the CDC. I hope I don't have to be quarantined."
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« Reply #86 on: October 29, 2013, 11:00:37 PM »

I had my belly rubbed against my will with each pregnancy. People do it, but I will say that the greater percentage in my limited experience was women. I would just take a step back while smiling and try to remind myself that it's good that people are excited about babies... so excited that they've seemingly forgotten the baby is living in me still. It's rude and people should know better, but it's never ruined my day so much I felt the need to file harassment charges.
Did anyone keep going when you told them to stop?

No. Did he do that to her in the article? I missed that.
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« Reply #87 on: October 29, 2013, 11:01:32 PM »

^ I did not see it in the article.
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« Reply #88 on: October 29, 2013, 11:01:54 PM »

I had my belly rubbed against my will with each pregnancy. People do it, but I will say that the greater percentage in my limited experience was women. I would just take a step back while smiling and try to remind myself that it's good that people are excited about babies... so excited that they've seemingly forgotten the baby is living in me still. It's rude and people should know better, but it's never ruined my day so much I felt the need to file harassment charges.

You could make an off-hand comment as they're rubbing your belly, "Yeah, I've been feeling sicker than usual since becoming pregnant. Had to send a sample to the CDC. I hope I don't have to be quarantined."

Ha! Nice.
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« Reply #89 on: October 29, 2013, 11:06:31 PM »

I had my belly rubbed against my will with each pregnancy. People do it, but I will say that the greater percentage in my limited experience was women. I would just take a step back while smiling and try to remind myself that it's good that people are excited about babies... so excited that they've seemingly forgotten the baby is living in me still. It's rude and people should know better, but it's never ruined my day so much I felt the need to file harassment charges.

You could make an off-hand comment as they're rubbing your belly, "Yeah, I've been feeling sicker than usual since becoming pregnant. Had to send a sample to the CDC. I hope I don't have to be quarantined."

Ha! Nice.

I offered to buy a pregnant woman a drink once. She acted as though as I was the worst thing on earth. This was about 1AM in a smoke filled bar.

She didn't understand my sense of humor.
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