Author Topic: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...  (Read 3676 times)

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Offline hecma925

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #45 on: October 22, 2013, 05:31:36 PM »
Romantic comedies are destructive as they give women unrealistic expectations and pollute the mind...have any of you actually seen the stuff some girls watch?

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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #46 on: October 22, 2013, 05:32:56 PM »
Lol practice.

I've never been in a relationship where it was hard to get sex. Never got the I'm not in the mood crap.

There's no point to porn if you are with someone.

I'm not talking about it being hard to get, I'm talking about the quality of the sex you're having. At the beginning, it's all exciting and new and that's great and fun. What I'm talking about is preventing monogamy from becoming monotony. That takes effort.
What is there to practice?

And my partners got "quality" sex throughout the duration of the relationships I have been in, longest 3 years. Didn't need to spice it up or anything ridiculous.

So when things get monotonous are you going to get into a fight with him only to have some hot make-up sex, to get that "quality" back? I know a guy who did the same thing.

Since when did women start controlling what goes on in bed?
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 05:33:31 PM by Achronos »
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #47 on: October 22, 2013, 05:37:52 PM »
Also, have any of you actually seen the stuff some girls watch?
Or put down the Cosmpolitan mag.
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #48 on: October 22, 2013, 05:38:30 PM »
Pornography is destructive as it gives men unrealistic expectations and pollutes the mind.
Romantic comedies are destructive as they give women unrealistic expectations and pollute the mind.

Also, have any of you actually seen the stuff some girls watch?  There's this show called Real Housewives of Orange County.  I would rather watch Brazillian Fart P0rn than that tripe.  I saw this other on MTV that had these vile creatures that work at a bar in Texas or something.  I don't remember what it is called but these people!  We are getting to barnyard gay buk**** levels of disgusting here.



Did I ever post that study about the rate of happiness in relationship vs how often and much someone enjoys what you likely describing as rom-coms?

They were referring to chick flicks really, not the Real Housewives garbage but the stuff I specialize in.

People who enjoy the garbage I watch a lot are incredibly happy in a relationship the newer it is versus those who found such garbage to be garbage. And those who like my sorta garbage just find relationships disappointing after 9 months to two years.

It didn't matter if you were a woman or man. The correlation was there.

I am an outlier. I am pretty much miserable from data one through the whole stalking her next boyfriend phase which is what I think shrinks call "acceptance" in the grieving process.
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #49 on: October 22, 2013, 05:39:06 PM »
Also, have any of you actually seen the stuff some girls watch?  There's this show called Real Housewives of Orange County.  I would rather watch Brazillian Fart P0rn than that tripe.  I saw this other on MTV that had these vile creatures that work at a bar in Texas or something.  I don't remember what it is called but these people!  We are getting to barnyard gay buk**** levels of disgusting here.

Why would you watch that?
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #50 on: October 22, 2013, 05:41:36 PM »
I am an outlier. I am pretty much miserable from data one through the whole stalking her next boyfriend phase which is what I think shrinks call "acceptance" in the grieving process.
You are OC.net's Brad Paisley.

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Offline orthonorm

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #51 on: October 22, 2013, 05:41:52 PM »
Lol practice.

I've never been in a relationship where it was hard to get sex. Never got the I'm not in the mood crap.

There's no point to porn if you are with someone.

I'm not talking about it being hard to get, I'm talking about the quality of the sex you're having. At the beginning, it's all exciting and new and that's great and fun. What I'm talking about is preventing monogamy from becoming monotony. That takes effort.

Another misconception about men and women.

Men are not so neophilic as women are. Women show less interest in sex as a relationship grows not cause they are less interested in sex as such, but because they are less interested in sex with who they are with. (Enter all the so-called Romance literature.)

Women show greater happiness in open relationships then men do.

Men may like to talk about screwing around, think about it, etc. But women would rather really rather just do it.
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #52 on: October 22, 2013, 05:43:51 PM »
But women would rather really rather just do it.
Is this a chance where I can tell you an anecdotal story of a missed opportunity to date a black woman?

She described how liked having sex. "Just get it over with, no touching, hugging, kissing."

EDIT: Unless you were talking about the open relationship, then ignore.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 05:45:30 PM by Achronos »
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Offline augustin717

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #53 on: October 22, 2013, 05:48:44 PM »
But women would rather really rather just do it.
Is this a chance where I can tell you an anecdotal story of a missed opportunity to date a black woman?

She described how liked having sex. "Just get it over with, no touching, hugging, kissing."

EDIT: Unless you were talking about the open relationship, then ignore.
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Online ZealousZeal

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #54 on: October 22, 2013, 05:53:21 PM »
What is there to practice?

I used "Practice makes perfect" as a humor device to indicate that when you're married, the more sex the better.

Quote
And my partners got "quality" sex throughout the duration of the relationships I have been in, longest 3 years. Didn't need to spice it up or anything ridiculous.

How amazing for them.

My main point which seems to have gotten lost along the way, was that the more sex you have with your spouse, the more familiar you become with their likes and dislikes which ultimately makes sex more enjoyable for you both, and makes you a better partner. Turning to porn so you can get off quickly and easily I perceive as lazy. I believe I said it was a cop-out, by which I meant that you're doing it for you, instead of putting in the effort with your spouse.

Quote
So when things get monotonous are you going to get into a fight with him only to have some hot make-up sex, to get that "quality" back? I know a guy who did the same thing.

Since when did women start controlling what goes on in bed?

Where are you getting this from? I think you should re-read my post, because I don't think you got what I meant by quality. And to answer your question: No. The only reason I fight with my husband is if I genuinely feel like we have something to fight about, and even then- fighting isn't the goal. I don't like fighting with him. I'm not 16 and I'm not into games like that. 

I have no idea what you're talking about with women controlling what goes on in bed.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #55 on: October 22, 2013, 05:58:33 PM »
But women would rather really rather just do it.
Is this a chance where I can tell you an anecdotal story of a missed opportunity to date a black woman?

She described how liked having sex. "Just get it over with, no touching, hugging, kissing."

EDIT: Unless you were talking about the open relationship, then ignore.
Just as the Fathers recommend

LOL.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #56 on: October 22, 2013, 06:01:32 PM »
And my partners got "quality" sex throughout the duration of the relationships I have been in, longest 3 years. Didn't need to spice it up or anything ridiculous.

Lately you have quite a penchant for discussing your sexual history with us.  Is everything OK?       
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #57 on: October 22, 2013, 06:03:14 PM »
Another misconception about men and women.

Men are not so neophilic as women are. Women show less interest in sex as a relationship grows not cause they are less interested in sex as such, but because they are less interested in sex with who they are with. (Enter all the so-called Romance literature.)

Women show greater happiness in open relationships then men do.

Men may like to talk about screwing around, think about it, etc. But women would rather really rather just do it.

So you're saying that women are neophallic?  ;)
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #58 on: October 22, 2013, 06:06:19 PM »
Another misconception about men and women.

Men are not so neophilic as women are. Women show less interest in sex as a relationship grows not cause they are less interested in sex as such, but because they are less interested in sex with who they are with. (Enter all the so-called Romance literature.)

Women show greater happiness in open relationships then men do.

Men may like to talk about screwing around, think about it, etc. But women would rather really rather just do it.

So you're saying that women are neophallic?  ;)

Well marc likely wishes they were paleophallic, but yes . . .
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #59 on: October 22, 2013, 06:13:51 PM »
I used "Practice makes perfect" as a humor device to indicate that when you're married, the more sex the better.
OK well when I thought you said that about practice, I understood that as...well nevermind.

Quote
My main point which seems to have gotten lost along the way, was that the more sex you have with your spouse, the more familiar you become with their likes and dislikes which ultimately makes sex more enjoyable for you both, and makes you a better partner. Turning to porn so you can get off quickly and easily I perceive as lazy. I believe I said it was a cop-out, by which I meant that you're doing it for you, instead of putting in the effort with your spouse.
I don't think its necessarily laziness though.

If I could be JamesR for a moment, yeah the initial surprise of seeing your other partner naked for the first time and then doing the act that first time...then doing it a couple more times after that, months go by and then that newness does go away. So then men watch porn to fantasize about having sex with another woman and exert a better orgasm than their current partner.

But I think it is more than that though. If the guy is in a long relationship or married, loses interest with having sex with his partner and resorts to using porn to stimulate himself to achieve better pleasure...I think there is more going on there than just achieving this simple pleasure.

Falling out of love, stressed out, upset at that other person, etc.

You can call me a selfish pig for this, but maybe being monogamous ain't really all that its chalked up to be for those people.

Personally if I am still in love with that other person, I want to have sex with them. If I fall out of love...when then yeah it slows down quite a bit.


Quote
because I don't think you got what I meant by quality.

And this quality being what the other person likes and then satisfying it?

Can you just be direct in exactly what you mean by quality sex? What is it, please describe it.
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #60 on: October 22, 2013, 06:15:13 PM »
Another misconception about men and women.

Men are not so neophilic as women are. Women show less interest in sex as a relationship grows not cause they are less interested in sex as such, but because they are less interested in sex with who they are with. (Enter all the so-called Romance literature.)

Women show greater happiness in open relationships then men do.

Men may like to talk about screwing around, think about it, etc. But women would rather really rather just do it.

So you're saying that women are neophallic?  ;)

Well marc likely wishes they were paleophallic, but yes . . .
Perfect LOL.
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #61 on: October 22, 2013, 06:18:26 PM »
And my partners got "quality" sex throughout the duration of the relationships I have been in, longest 3 years. Didn't need to spice it up or anything ridiculous.

Lately you have quite a penchant for discussing your sexual history with us.  Is everything OK?       
Because I don't think people are as blunt as they should be when it comes to the topic of sex.

I am not trying to intentionally brag about whatever history I have. I just think the puritanism that creeps up out of religious people obfuscates the question rather than answering it clearly.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #62 on: October 22, 2013, 06:27:48 PM »
I just think the puritanism that creeps up out of religious people obfuscates the question rather than answering it clearly.

I agree with you re: puritanism more than I disagree, I suspect.  But it's not the case that it is always puritanism.  Sometimes it's just a matter of respect for the sacred and a desire not to drag it down to the level of the profane. 
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #63 on: October 22, 2013, 06:29:27 PM »
If I could be JamesR for a moment, yeah the initial surprise of seeing your other partner naked for the first time and then doing the act that first time...then doing it a couple more times after that, months go by and then that newness does go away. So then men watch porn to fantasize about having sex with another woman and exert a better orgasm than their current partner.

But I think it is more than that though. If the guy is in a long relationship or married, loses interest with having sex with his partner and resorts to using porn to stimulate himself to achieve better pleasure...I think there is more going on there than just achieving this simple pleasure.

Falling out of love, stressed out, upset at that other person, etc.

You can call me a selfish pig for this, but maybe being monogamous ain't really all that its chalked up to be for those people.

Personally if I am still in love with that other person, I want to have sex with them. If I fall out of love...when then yeah it slows down quite a bit.



Sure- those are good points and I don't disagree. There's a lot that could be at play. But I see that as an argument for my point. "Falling out of love" isn't an event, it's a process (usually with an event at the end). If you're stressed out or upset with the other person and you just want a quick release, you're not doing your marriage any favors. You're being lazy. Talking to your spouse or hashing it out or whatever would all be healthier options, and they all take work.


Quote
And this quality being what the other person likes and then satisfying it?

Can you just be direct in exactly what you mean by quality sex? What is it, please describe it.

Yes to your bolded part, more or less. All I meant by quality was a barometer for whatever good sex means to you and your spouse. I brought it up because you said: "I've never been in a relationship where it was hard to get sex. Never got the I'm not in the mood crap." By which I took you to mean that someone uses porn because their partner is turning them down. Which is possible for sure, but not what I initially meant when I was talking about laziness. So I said: "I'm not talking about it being hard to get, I'm talking about the quality of the sex you're having." And I said I didn't think you understood what I meant because you started talking about me pulling stunts to get my "quality back".
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #64 on: October 22, 2013, 06:31:40 PM »
I just think the puritanism that creeps up out of religious people obfuscates the question rather than answering it clearly.

I agree with you re: puritanism more than I disagree, I suspect.  But it's not the case that it is always puritanism.  Sometimes it's just a matter of respect for the sacred and a desire not to drag it down to the level of the profane.  
Since when is sex sacred though?

The Eucharist is sacred, the entire Church is sacred.

But sex?

I don't think so. If you think pooping is sacred too, then I guess.

i think you meant taboo.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 06:32:48 PM by Achronos »
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Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #65 on: October 22, 2013, 06:36:28 PM »
Since when is sex sacred though?

The Eucharist is sacred, the entire Church is sacred.

But sex?

I don't think so. If you think pooping is sacred too, then I guess.

Song of Songs. The crowning ceremony and wedding blessings (undefiled bed, offspring, etc.) are a Mystery just like the Eucharist.

Quote from: Mark 10:6-9
From the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 06:39:20 PM by Romaios »

Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #66 on: October 22, 2013, 06:37:51 PM »
Since when is sex sacred though?

The Eucharist is sacred, the entire Church is sacred.

But sex?

I don't think so. If you think pooping is sacred too, then I guess.

Song of Songs. Crowning Ceremony and wedding blessings.

Quote from: Mark 10:6-9
From the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Why did Jesus never have sex then? I mean if being a man he should leave his parents to cleave to his wife.
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Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #67 on: October 22, 2013, 06:43:35 PM »
Why did Jesus never have sex then? I mean if being a man he should leave his parents to cleave to his wife.

He did (leave His parents to cleave to His Wife):

Quote from: Ephesians 5:30-32
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 06:45:35 PM by Romaios »

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #68 on: October 22, 2013, 06:47:13 PM »
Since when is sex sacred though?

The Eucharist is sacred, the entire Church is sacred.

But sex?

I don't think so. If you think pooping is sacred too, then I guess.

i think you meant taboo.

I meant what I wrote.  Permit me to suggest respectfully that your history may be clouding your vision.  I'm not a saint by any means--without intending to appear pious, I know I'm worse--but I also know beauty and holiness when I see it, and sex has both.  If you can only see this by ennobling defecation, I feel sorry for you.

And please refer to Romaios, he seems to have discerned my intent.          
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #69 on: October 22, 2013, 06:47:31 PM »
Romaios I know that, and I find it to be very beautiful, but does this not betray some of Christ being fully man?
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #70 on: October 22, 2013, 06:50:03 PM »
I just think the puritanism that creeps up out of religious people obfuscates the question rather than answering it clearly.

I agree with you re: puritanism more than I disagree, I suspect.  But it's not the case that it is always puritanism.  Sometimes it's just a matter of respect for the sacred and a desire not to drag it down to the level of the profane.  
Since when is sex sacred though?

The Eucharist is sacred, the entire Church is sacred.

But sex?

I don't think so. If you think pooping is sacred too, then I guess.

i think you meant taboo.

You don't think the act in which we get to be co-creators of life with God is sacred? If it wasn't then why on earth would God or the Church care about when you can do it and who with?
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Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #71 on: October 22, 2013, 06:51:06 PM »
Romaios I know that, and I find it to be very beautiful, but does this not betray some of Christ being fully man?

Not in the least.

And I don't doubt that monks and nuns who live chaste lives are fully human too.

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #72 on: October 22, 2013, 06:52:57 PM »
Romaios I know that, and I find it to be very beautiful, but does this not betray some of Christ being fully man?

Not in the least.

And I don't doubt that monks and nuns who live chaste lives are fully human too.
Well you won't find an argument from me, I have nothing.
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Offline augustin717

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #73 on: October 22, 2013, 06:55:05 PM »
Since when is sex sacred though?

The Eucharist is sacred, the entire Church is sacred.

But sex?

I don't think so. If you think pooping is sacred too, then I guess.

i think you meant taboo.

I meant what I wrote.  Permit me to suggest respectfully that your history may be clouding your vision.  I'm not a saint by any means--without intending to appear pious, I know I'm worse--but I also know beauty and holiness when I see it, and sex has both.  If you can only see this by ennobling defecation, I feel sorry for you.

And please refer to Romaios, he seems to have discerned my intent.          
it seems to me that the sex or at least marital sex is sacred meme is  just a damage control device that wasn't used much before, in those times where women's sex life was way more firmly controlled by fathers, older brothers, families, clan, in a word, when women were a bit more than a herd of cows. Now, when feminist ideas gained some street cred, the meme is used mostly in order to make people internalize and spiritualize and achieve the very thing, that was before achieved by more extraneous means.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 06:57:07 PM by augustin717 »

Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #74 on: October 22, 2013, 06:57:54 PM »
. I brought it up because you said: "I've never been in a relationship where it was hard to get sex. Never got the I'm not in the mood crap." By which I took you to mean that someone uses porn because their partner is turning them down.

No that's not what I meant.

You said:

Quote
Turning to porn to meet your needs instead of your spouse is quick and easy.

As I said, turning to whatever partner I was with wasn't hard to do, and beats trying to hide it while covering up the bottle of Jergens. I've heard of folks having problems having sex with their partners because they didn't want to or whatever reason.

Some people use porn to get off because they can't from their partner, sure.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 06:58:04 PM by Achronos »
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #75 on: October 22, 2013, 07:00:31 PM »
Well you won't find an argument from me, I have nothing.

I'm not trying to pick an argument with you.  :)

But I'm sure your partners would appreciate your discretion. Talking about such things is like "uncovering" their (and your) "nakedness" all over again. Compared to that, nudambulism is a lot more innocent.  ;)

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #76 on: October 22, 2013, 08:10:54 PM »
it seems to me that the sex or at least marital sex is sacred meme is  just a damage control device that wasn't used much before, in those times where women's sex life was way more firmly controlled by fathers, older brothers, families, clan, in a word, when women were a bit more than a herd of cows. Now, when feminist ideas gained some street cred, the meme is used mostly in order to make people internalize and spiritualize and achieve the very thing, that was before achieved by more extraneous means.

Yours is an interesting consideration, and there may be some truth to it, at least in terms of how families and cultures in different times and places viewed sexuality.  My perspective was more theological.  The marriage service, Scripture, etc. present marriage and sexuality in a particular way, even if the people at the service don't agree with it or haven't even picked up on it. 
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Offline yeshuaisiam

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #77 on: October 22, 2013, 08:11:51 PM »
Like many of man’s failings, Porn cannot be dealt with using simple solutions.  This is similar to discussing wide open topics like Protestantism.  How many different types of porn are there?  Each type has its own viewers and followers, and each type addresses a different specific failure of man.  Soft core porn, while a gateway, is probably the easiest to understand.  There is nothing more beautiful in creation than a woman.  Are you admiring their beauty, or are you masturbating?  I am not sure that I see a problem with the former.  The latter is more complicated.  Is masturbating while looking at another woman than the one you married adultery?  Technically (IMO) no.  Would you rather masturbate over porn than sleep with your wife?  Then yes, you are denying her what is rightfully hers.  Or, is the reason that you masturbating to porn the fact that your wife would rather crawl through 100 yards of broken glass than have sex?  Well, that reason may not be an excuse in the eyes of God, but neither is the woman’s behavior.

And what about bondage porn?  Personally, I do not like to see people in pain.  I do not understand the concept of someone desiring to watch a handcuffed woman with alligator clamps fastened to sensitive parts of the body.  I believe there is a real defect a person interested in this, and I would worry about him being loose in society.  But what if looking at that porn is the only reason that he is not outside in society doing this stuff to someone?  Complicated?  Yes.

I can agree with those who say that all porn should be avoided and that man and woman should live together according to the various passages in scripture.  It is always best if we can operate under the ideal situation.  However, when it comes to figuring out why people look at what they do, all I can say is that unless you are watching porn and speaking for yourself, you probably have no idea of what you are talking about.  The world is not an ideal place, and life is not an ideal situation.


For the most part I disagree with this post.

We were commanded by God to:  Matthew 16:24 - Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

We should not be admiring the beauty of other women.  I think most men would admit that this "admiration" is merely a glossed over word for "lust".   I wholeheartedly believe that most men would BOTH admire the beauty, and there would absolutely be at least a small part of lust (probably a lot more).

But in our scriptures, we are not even supposed to look at a woman lustfully.   We are not supposed to admire their beauty unless we are married (song of songs).

Can one really say "I'm going to go sit down here on the ol' puter and look up naked women to admire their beauty"?   Of course there is lust involved.

Think of how far pornography has come into brainwashing society into making it more acceptable.   We should NOT be lured by the father of lies to make excuses for it. (not saying Punch is).   But the evil one can be very convincing, even to the point of making us "make logical reasoning" to excuse the use of pornography.    We all know in our hearts it is wrong.... I know we do.
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #78 on: October 22, 2013, 08:24:08 PM »
Like many of man’s failings, Porn cannot be dealt with using simple solutions.  This is similar to discussing wide open topics like Protestantism.  How many different types of porn are there?  Each type has its own viewers and followers, and each type addresses a different specific failure of man.  Soft core porn, while a gateway, is probably the easiest to understand.  There is nothing more beautiful in creation than a woman.  Are you admiring their beauty, or are you masturbating?  I am not sure that I see a problem with the former.  The latter is more complicated.  Is masturbating while looking at another woman than the one you married adultery?  Technically (IMO) no.  Would you rather masturbate over porn than sleep with your wife?  Then yes, you are denying her what is rightfully hers.  Or, is the reason that you masturbating to porn the fact that your wife would rather crawl through 100 yards of broken glass than have sex?  Well, that reason may not be an excuse in the eyes of God, but neither is the woman’s behavior.

And what about bondage porn?  Personally, I do not like to see people in pain.  I do not understand the concept of someone desiring to watch a handcuffed woman with alligator clamps fastened to sensitive parts of the body.  I believe there is a real defect a person interested in this, and I would worry about him being loose in society.  But what if looking at that porn is the only reason that he is not outside in society doing this stuff to someone?  Complicated?  Yes.

I can agree with those who say that all porn should be avoided and that man and woman should live together according to the various passages in scripture.  It is always best if we can operate under the ideal situation.  However, when it comes to figuring out why people look at what they do, all I can say is that unless you are watching porn and speaking for yourself, you probably have no idea of what you are talking about.  The world is not an ideal place, and life is not an ideal situation.


For the most part I disagree with this post.

There is nothing to disagree with. This Pensive Punch and Pastoral Punch. He's hard to argue with cause usually he isn't arguing, he is simply owning.
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Offline yeshuaisiam

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #79 on: October 22, 2013, 10:32:43 PM »
Like many of man’s failings, Porn cannot be dealt with using simple solutions.  This is similar to discussing wide open topics like Protestantism.  How many different types of porn are there?  Each type has its own viewers and followers, and each type addresses a different specific failure of man.  Soft core porn, while a gateway, is probably the easiest to understand.  There is nothing more beautiful in creation than a woman.  Are you admiring their beauty, or are you masturbating?  I am not sure that I see a problem with the former.  The latter is more complicated.  Is masturbating while looking at another woman than the one you married adultery?  Technically (IMO) no.  Would you rather masturbate over porn than sleep with your wife?  Then yes, you are denying her what is rightfully hers.  Or, is the reason that you masturbating to porn the fact that your wife would rather crawl through 100 yards of broken glass than have sex?  Well, that reason may not be an excuse in the eyes of God, but neither is the woman’s behavior.

And what about bondage porn?  Personally, I do not like to see people in pain.  I do not understand the concept of someone desiring to watch a handcuffed woman with alligator clamps fastened to sensitive parts of the body.  I believe there is a real defect a person interested in this, and I would worry about him being loose in society.  But what if looking at that porn is the only reason that he is not outside in society doing this stuff to someone?  Complicated?  Yes.

I can agree with those who say that all porn should be avoided and that man and woman should live together according to the various passages in scripture.  It is always best if we can operate under the ideal situation.  However, when it comes to figuring out why people look at what they do, all I can say is that unless you are watching porn and speaking for yourself, you probably have no idea of what you are talking about.  The world is not an ideal place, and life is not an ideal situation.


For the most part I disagree with this post.

There is nothing to disagree with. This Pensive Punch and Pastoral Punch. He's hard to argue with cause usually he isn't arguing, he is simply owning.

It's this part in particular
Quote
I am not sure that I see a problem with the former.

If you are looking up pornography to "admire" the beauty of a woman (albeit soft core), I believe this is only the evil one feeding lies.   Basically, of course lust exists...  If a man consistently "admires" the beauty of other women than his wife, he is desiring something about them.   One does not need to masturbate to commit adultery of the heart.

But I used a strong statement at the beginning of my post.  I don't disagree with MOST of it, just some of it.
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Offline vamrat

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #80 on: October 22, 2013, 11:36:10 PM »
Also, have any of you actually seen the stuff some girls watch?  There's this show called Real Housewives of Orange County.  I would rather watch Brazillian Fart P0rn than that tripe.  I saw this other on MTV that had these vile creatures that work at a bar in Texas or something.  I don't remember what it is called but these people!  We are getting to barnyard gay buk**** levels of disgusting here.

Why would you watch that?

Not by choice, I assure you.  The GF always has it playing on the boob tube.  Usually I'm sitting here, minding my own business, making chainmail in the living room and I am subjected to some greasy harlot complaining about how Trampzilla was showing too much dirty pillow to greasy harlot's boyfriend ("her man", if you will) and then the screen pans back to Trampzilla throwing a temper tantrum about how she doesn't care what greasy harlot and her friends Poledancer and Dumpsterlover are saying about her, she's a strong independent woman (hear me rawr) and doesn't care about if they don't like her...and then starts crying great big tears of chicken grease smearing her mascara about how everyone is mean to her.  Then they start fighting which is kinda cool but then some Sir Galahad wannabe chumps break it up before you get to see any blood or nudity. 

Poisons the mind, I tell ya.

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #81 on: October 23, 2013, 12:22:56 AM »
Yeah, that sounds about right.  Sadly, I also know.  :(
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Offline JamesR

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #82 on: October 23, 2013, 03:08:11 AM »
Visual porn ends in marriage?

Ask Germany or Amsterdam; they got porn for just about anything conceivable and then some.
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Offline JamesR

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #83 on: October 23, 2013, 03:08:11 AM »
I just think the puritanism that creeps up out of religious people obfuscates the question rather than answering it clearly.

Ironically enough, I observe more religious people harboring a blunt, explicit obsession with sex and constantly talking about and/or badgering their parishioners about it more than I observe in the so-called "secular world."
...Or it's just possible he's a mouthy young man on an internet forum.
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Offline ialmisry

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #84 on: October 23, 2013, 03:08:11 AM »
I think YiM is spot on. 
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Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #85 on: October 23, 2013, 05:53:40 AM »
I was going to make a post related to this. And how being a eunuch seemed preferred to the disciples if one can not get alone perfectly with their wives because their wife might offend them e.g not accepting his work mates or ambitions for religions sake. If they are not willing to take that cross they should be a eunuch. It makes me think I should be a eunuch if I don't have a wife who completely pleases me. What is one to do if he is married to an evil or stubborn or blinded woman?
If my wife does not please me I may wish I was alone so I can enjoy my life more but I would not cheat on her
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« Last Edit: October 23, 2013, 05:55:20 AM by mikeforjesus »

Offline Hawkeye

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #86 on: October 23, 2013, 06:05:47 AM »
I was going to make a post related to this. And how being a eunuch seemed preferred to the disciples if one can not get alone perfectly with their wives because their wife might offend them e.g not accepting his work mates or ambitions for religions sake. If they are not willing to take that cross they should be a eunuch. It makes me think I should be a eunuch if I don't have a wife who completely pleases me. What is one to do if he is married to an evil or stubborn or blinded woman?
If my wife does not please me I may wish I was alone so I can enjoy my life more but I would not cheat on her
St Paul says the wife should try to win over their husbands by their conduct but the husband must never oppress his wife


When you say eunuch, you mean it in the broader sense of a celibate, right?

Let's not do anything too drastic...
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Offline Arachne

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #87 on: October 23, 2013, 06:10:01 AM »
When you say eunuch, you mean it in the broader sense of a celibate, right?

Let's not do anything too drastic...

Or irreversible, for that matter.
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Offline tetepet

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #88 on: October 23, 2013, 06:31:30 AM »
Eh, women do the same thing except it comes packaged in "romance" novels like 50 Shades of Gray. Is porn wrong? Yes. It's exploiting another person's suffering--the porn star, many of which suffer depression and/or other issues--and cheating on your mate to an extent. But the thing that bothers me is that many people make this out to be an evil male problem and exclude women from the equation. Why don't we talk about those millions of women who read pornography in the form of novels? It's no different, except it's made to appeal to women more than men.

Romance/smut novels at least have some veneer of story, and usually end in marriage. Even 50 Shades.

Newsflash: Women watch porn too.

Oh,
why?????
for all who about to read fifty shades of grey you've spoiled it. now we know the end. thanx

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #89 on: October 23, 2013, 06:33:20 AM »
Eh, women do the same thing except it comes packaged in "romance" novels like 50 Shades of Gray. Is porn wrong? Yes. It's exploiting another person's suffering--the porn star, many of which suffer depression and/or other issues--and cheating on your mate to an extent. But the thing that bothers me is that many people make this out to be an evil male problem and exclude women from the equation. Why don't we talk about those millions of women who read pornography in the form of novels? It's no different, except it's made to appeal to women more than men.

Romance/smut novels at least have some veneer of story, and usually end in marriage. Even 50 Shades.

Newsflash: Women watch porn too.

Oh,
why?????
for all who about to read fifty shades of grey you've spoiled it. now we know the end. thanx

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