Author Topic: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...  (Read 3399 times)

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Offline PoorFoolNicholas

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #135 on: October 23, 2013, 08:58:40 PM »
Miss the point much?

Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #136 on: October 23, 2013, 09:38:24 PM »
I am sorry if I have come across as such. But you should know that people who are transperant in their relationships (such as useless superficial gossip like how good the sex was, kinda what ZealousZeal talked about) is sort of common amongst we Americans.

I certainly hope that everyone reading my posts was clear that I was talking about the quality of marital sex (and how I feel porn could damage it) in a very general sense. I was not gossiping about my own sex life, and I don't think that's what you meant by that but just in case I want to clarify. I have no problem talking about sex, but I do make it a point not to talk about my own sex life online or IRL.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #137 on: October 23, 2013, 11:03:22 PM »
I think Mor is right on this one.

I just wanted to enjoy that for a moment.  I don't know if I'll live long enough to see a repeat.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2013, 11:04:00 PM by Mor Ephrem »
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Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #138 on: October 23, 2013, 11:03:59 PM »
New sig?
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #139 on: October 23, 2013, 11:04:40 PM »
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


Offline ZealousZeal

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #140 on: October 23, 2013, 11:11:15 PM »
I am sorry if I have come across as such. But you should know that people who are transperant in their relationships (such as useless superficial gossip like how good the sex was, kinda what ZealousZeal talked about) is sort of common amongst we Americans.

I certainly hope that everyone reading my posts was clear that I was talking about the quality of marital sex (and how I feel porn could damage it) in a very general sense. I was not gossiping about my own sex life, and I don't think that's what you meant by that but just in case I want to clarify. I have no problem talking about sex, but I do make it a point not to talk about my own sex life online or IRL.


I don't even get that.  8)
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Offline FormerReformer

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #141 on: October 23, 2013, 11:43:05 PM »
Does anyone find it ironic that some are posting things of a pornographic nature for others to check out on google? Like Batman xxx? What's the point in even bringing this up, EXCEPT to alert others to its existence so they can then view the porn in question?

Perhaps as a response to those who contended that romance novels were somehow less pornographic because they "have plots"? Perhaps the reason a name is given is to provide a citation rather than a contention? Perhaps the person who posted even went out of his way to comment on the fact that there was a version that had all the sex edited out so that anyone googling could avoid pornography?
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Offline Punch

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #142 on: October 24, 2013, 12:01:51 AM »

It's this part in particular
Quote
I am not sure that I see a problem with the former.


Hey, just because you can't look at a woman without wanting to beat off or bang her, don't assume everyone is that way.  Some of us, older men in particular, don't burn with lust at everything we see.  We have had our days for that.  I have really started to enjoy my age where I can talk with a woman and admire both her beauty and intellect without wanting to breed with her.  It has brought an entirely new dimention to my life.  The point of my post was that most of the "Christians" that I read that are discussing porn are either really smart about it because the are watching it and spanking little Richard like he owes them money, or else they are pretty much discussing something they know nothing about.  The exceptions that I have found are rare.  And to pull reasons out of thin air for other people's addictions are seldom useful in solving their problems.  I don't know what Orthonorm was getting at when he commented on my post because he has a habit of thinking on a plane somewhat higher then where my thoughts usually go, but he was quite correct when he said that I was not presenting an argument.  I was mearly stating that while porn is one of man's failings (and therefor wrong), it is more complex than the ability of the usual Internet know-it-alls and most-holies to fully understand.  But trying to understand is not wrong.  Understanding does not infer agreement.  It often leads to disgust.  It also sometimes leads to being able to help others out their mess.
I would be happy to agree with you, but then both of us would be wrong.

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #143 on: October 24, 2013, 12:09:59 AM »

It's this part in particular
Quote
I am not sure that I see a problem with the former.


Hey, just because you can't look at a woman without wanting to beat off or bang her, don't assume everyone is that way.  Some of us, older men in particular, don't burn with lust at everything we see.  We have had our days for that.  I have really started to enjoy my age where I can talk with a woman and admire both her beauty and intellect without wanting to breed with her.  It has brought an entirely new dimention to my life.  The point of my post was that most of the "Christians" that I read that are discussing porn are either really smart about it because the are watching it and spanking little Richard like he owes them money, or else they are pretty much discussing something they know nothing about.  The exceptions that I have found are rare.  And to pull reasons out of thin air for other people's addictions are seldom useful in solving their problems.  I don't know what Orthonorm was getting at when he commented on my post because he has a habit of thinking on a plane somewhat higher then where my thoughts usually go, but he was quite correct when he said that I was not presenting an argument.  I was mearly stating that while porn is one of man's failings (and therefor wrong), it is more complex than the ability of the usual Internet know-it-alls and most-holies to fully understand.  But trying to understand is not wrong.  Understanding does not infer agreement.  It often leads to disgust.  It also sometimes leads to being able to help others out their mess.
My ability to converse with a woman without lusting after her is typically dependent on two factors. 

1. How hot she is.
2. The amount of clothes she is wearing.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #144 on: October 24, 2013, 12:17:07 AM »
The point of my post was that most of the "Christians" that I read that are discussing porn are either really smart about it because the are watching it and spanking little Richard like he owes them money, or else they are pretty much discussing something they know nothing about.  The exceptions that I have found are rare. 

You brought a smile to my face. 
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #145 on: October 24, 2013, 06:56:25 AM »
I think Mor is right on this one.

I just wanted to enjoy that for a moment.  I don't know if I'll live long enough to see a repeat.

"I think Mor is right on this one" is different from "Mor is right."
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #146 on: October 24, 2013, 10:20:01 AM »
"I think Mor is right on this one" is different from "Mor is right."

For a normal human being, yes, but this is William we're talking about.  Having not expected that, how much more can I expect from him?  :)
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Offline mikeforjesus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #147 on: October 29, 2013, 08:14:00 AM »
I am worried porn is more fun than activities with my future wife. We are also forbidden from oral sex. But perhaps that is not necessary.
Has anyone been able to figure out why people want to look at porn? what makes me want to look at porn? I am doing it much more infrequently but I still fall and do not have any priest to be accountable to. Maybe it is a desire to be aware of peoples sins and change them. Maybe that is the same reason I like to be on orthodox or non orthodox forums.

Those who are truly being saved have grace and the power of grace is to rule our desire for sin but even St Paul struggled with sin but we do not know the specifics

Romans 6:14
New King James Version (NKJV)
14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2013, 08:19:38 AM by mikeforjesus »

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #148 on: October 29, 2013, 08:53:22 AM »
I am worried porn is more fun than activities with my future wife.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, no, no it is not.
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Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #149 on: October 29, 2013, 12:04:02 PM »
Has anyone been able to figure out why people want to look at porn? what makes me want to look at porn?

Because it's the most readily available quick fix to make one forget about one's problems, fears and the outside world. It has "anxiolytic properties". Your brain quickly gets hooked on such behaviours because of the tasty chemicals they help release.   

Offline Rufus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #150 on: October 29, 2013, 01:49:23 PM »
Has anyone been able to figure out why people want to look at porn? what makes me want to look at porn?

Because it's the most readily available quick fix to make one forget about one's problems, fears and the outside world. It has "anxiolytic properties". Your brain quickly gets hooked on such behaviours because of the tasty chemicals they help release.   

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #151 on: October 29, 2013, 02:03:59 PM »
I am worried porn is more fun than activities with my future wife.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, no, no it is not.
I suppose it would all depend on how fun your wife is...
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Offline J Michael

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #152 on: October 29, 2013, 02:23:10 PM »
Has anyone been able to figure out why people want to look at porn? what makes me want to look at porn?

Because it's the most readily available quick fix to make one forget about one's problems, fears and the outside world. It has "anxiolytic properties". Your brain quickly gets hooked on such behaviours because of the tasty chemicals they help release.   

QFT!
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Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #153 on: October 29, 2013, 02:28:18 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #154 on: October 29, 2013, 02:31:10 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

LOL!

Romaios The Dreamslayer. ;D
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #155 on: October 29, 2013, 02:32:33 PM »
I am worried porn is more fun than activities with my future wife.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, no, no it is not.

It kinda depends on the activities. Shopping and visiting the in-laws can't be fun.
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dull roots with spring rain."
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Offline J Michael

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #156 on: October 29, 2013, 02:35:33 PM »
I am worried porn is more fun than activities with my future wife.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, no, no it is not.

It kinda depends on the activities. Shopping and visiting the in-laws can't be fun.

So wise for one so young. ;)
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Offline vamrat

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #157 on: October 29, 2013, 03:22:48 PM »
I am worried porn is more fun than activities with my future wife.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, no, no it is not.

It kinda depends on the activities. Shopping and visiting the in-laws can't be fun.

So wise for one so young. ;)

I like the future in-laws and neither of us have enough money to shop so the raunchy activities the GF and I engage in mostly consist of her watching poor quality shows on TV and me trying to find something that keeps me away from them.  Just last night she was watching The Voice which is less odious than some of the things she watches and my bro and I were being total gangstas watching Jacques and Julia in the other room...and then our TV broke.  We were going to drink a bunch of vodka and then shoot each other at the same time to get out of hearing the drivel spewing from the back living room but we decided to listen to David Bowie on the youtubes instead until I fell asleep.

The wild and crazy lives of those in a long term relationship...
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline J Michael

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #158 on: October 29, 2013, 03:35:58 PM »
I am worried porn is more fun than activities with my future wife.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, no, no it is not.

It kinda depends on the activities. Shopping and visiting the in-laws can't be fun.

So wise for one so young. ;)

I like the future in-laws and neither of us have enough money to shop so the raunchy activities the GF and I engage in mostly consist of her watching poor quality shows on TV and me trying to find something that keeps me away from them.  Just last night she was watching The Voice which is less odious than some of the things she watches and my bro and I were being total gangstas watching Jacques and Julia in the other room...and then our TV broke.  We were going to drink a bunch of vodka and then shoot each other at the same time to get out of hearing the drivel spewing from the back living room but we decided to listen to David Bowie on the youtubes instead until I fell asleep.

The wild and crazy lives of those in a long term relationship...

Poverty can indeed cure shopping.  Be grateful for what you don't have. ;D

Once "future in-laws" become actual in-laws, the whole dynamic can drastically change.  Doesn't always, but....BE.  PREPARED! ;D ;D
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Offline Punch

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #159 on: October 29, 2013, 03:40:17 PM »
Has anyone been able to figure out why people want to look at porn? what makes me want to look at porn?

Because it's the most readily available quick fix to make one forget about one's problems, fears and the outside world. It has "anxiolytic properties". Your brain quickly gets hooked on such behaviours because of the tasty chemicals they help release.   

If they would let us have opium, we would not need porn.
I would be happy to agree with you, but then both of us would be wrong.

Offline Shiny

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #160 on: October 29, 2013, 03:42:31 PM »
Poverty can cure a lot huh J Michael? No Xboxes, no TVs, no iPads, etc
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Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #161 on: October 29, 2013, 04:26:20 PM »
Poverty can cure a lot huh J Michael? No Xboxes, no TVs, no iPads, etc

From a Phanariote Greek play from 1820:

Quote from: New Comedy of Wallachia or the Physicians' Hymn to Zeus, Act II, Scene 3
Τι κακόν ταμπιέτι έχουν εδώ οι μεγάλοι άνθρωποι, οπού τα μικρά πάθη τα εκλαμβάνουν επικίνδυνα, παρόμοια πάθη έχουν κυρία μου κι οι πτωχοί, καί τ΄απερνούν όχι μόνον χωρίς ιατρόν, αλλά και δουλεούοντες.

Dr. Haristaris What a nasty habit great people have around here, that they consider small ailments dangerous; why, milady, the poor have similar ailments and they are cured of them not only without seeing a physician, but even while labouring.

Offline Rufus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #162 on: October 29, 2013, 04:56:56 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

You equated human feelings with chemical processes.

Offline vamrat

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #163 on: October 29, 2013, 05:03:03 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

You equated human feelings with chemical processes.

Next you are going to tell me that a heart is more than a muscle that pumps blood...
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #164 on: October 29, 2013, 05:08:55 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

You equated human feelings with chemical processes.

Pleasure and pain can be safely equated with chemical processes. That's not saying that certain aesthetic preferences (redhead over blonde, for instance) can be explained the same way - but who knows what surprises DNA still has in store for us?  

Offline Rufus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #165 on: October 29, 2013, 05:13:49 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

You equated human feelings with chemical processes.

Next you are going to tell me that a heart is more than a muscle that pumps blood...

Oh, I'm sure your heart means plenty to you.

Offline orthonorm

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #166 on: October 29, 2013, 05:39:43 PM »
Has anyone been able to figure out why people want to look at porn? what makes me want to look at porn?

Because it's the most readily available quick fix to make one forget about one's problems, fears and the outside world. It has "anxiolytic properties". Your brain quickly gets hooked on such behaviours because of the tasty chemicals they help release.   

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Telling you, we are like twins. I am the one that is slowly being digested by you.
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Offline Rufus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #167 on: October 29, 2013, 05:42:29 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

You equated human feelings with chemical processes.

Pleasure and pain can be safely equated with chemical processes. That's not saying that certain aesthetic preferences (redhead over blonde, for instance) can be explained the same way - but who knows what surprises DNA still has in store for us?  

You're equating a conscious phenomenon with a material process. Even the most brazen materialist has to admit some kind of distinction between the two.

Offline orthonorm

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #168 on: October 29, 2013, 05:44:59 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Romaios NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I kill a dream? 

You equated human feelings with chemical processes.

Pleasure and pain can be safely equated with chemical processes. That's not saying that certain aesthetic preferences (redhead over blonde, for instance) can be explained the same way - but who knows what surprises DNA still has in store for us?  

You're equating a conscious phenomenon with a material process. Even the most brazen materialist has to admit some kind of distinction between the two.

I won't ask you to expand on this. Your welcome.
Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.

Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #169 on: October 29, 2013, 06:05:48 PM »
You're equating a conscious phenomenon with a material process. Even the most brazen materialist has to admit some kind of distinction between the two.

Sublata causa tollitur effectus. That's the way pleasure and pain usually work.

Offline orthonorm

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #170 on: October 29, 2013, 06:15:20 PM »
You're equating a conscious phenomenon with a material process. Even the most brazen materialist has to admit some kind of distinction between the two.

Sublata causa tollitur effectus. That's the way pleasure and pain usually work.

You sure about that? And if even if that is the case (you end up making neat tautologies), a condition which might be necessary isn't necessarily the origin nor being of something.
Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.

Offline hecma925

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #171 on: October 29, 2013, 06:34:54 PM »
You're equating a conscious phenomenon with a material process. Even the most brazen materialist has to admit some kind of distinction between the two.

Sublata causa tollitur effectus. That's the way pleasure and pain usually work.

How is the "feeling" of pleasure a mere chemical reaction? 
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Offline Rufus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #172 on: October 29, 2013, 06:42:46 PM »
You're equating a conscious phenomenon with a material process. Even the most brazen materialist has to admit some kind of distinction between the two.

Sublata causa tollitur effectus. That's the way pleasure and pain usually work.

That looks like it means: "The underlying cause is the totality of the effect."

Sorry, I don't ask the solutions in my Erlenmeyer flasks if it hurts before I cook them.

Not that I'm trying to advance any particular theory of mind and body. I really have no idea where to go on such stuff.

My father taught me to believe in disembodied souls. On the other hand, the modern scientist in me is strongly prejudiced toward believing that all mental acts are strictly determined by physical processes in the nervous system. Then there's the ideas that come to me when I wake up in the morning and am still delirious. Where to go?

Offline Romaios

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #173 on: October 29, 2013, 06:48:33 PM »
How is the "feeling" of pleasure a mere chemical reaction? 

I was referring to the sort of pleasurable sensation (=feeling) which creates an addiction - you feel pleasure or pain when a material stimulus arouses those sensations via chemical reactions in your neuronal synapses. You stop feeling it when such stimulation ceases - which is why addicts get hooked on whatever that stimulus happens to be.

It may seem a reductionist approach. I wasn't saying that's all there is to pleasure, though - but I don't think we need to complicate matters or wax philosophical about things at this point. The question was one about pornography. This might be more relevant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron 
« Last Edit: October 29, 2013, 07:03:48 PM by Romaios »

Offline hecma925

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #174 on: October 29, 2013, 06:55:36 PM »
Very good, thanks!
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #175 on: October 29, 2013, 07:30:13 PM »
Sorry, I don't ask the solutions in my Erlenmeyer flasks if it hurts before I cook them.

This reminds me of my schizophrenic buddy's reaction when I tried to explain to him how dopamine works and how his medication interferes with it: "How can you say dopamine does this or that?! You and these doctors are a bunch of arrogant idiots who know nothing about people!"
« Last Edit: October 29, 2013, 07:46:45 PM by Romaios »

Offline Rufus

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #176 on: October 29, 2013, 09:30:45 PM »
Sorry, I don't ask the solutions in my Erlenmeyer flasks if it hurts before I cook them.

This reminds me of my schizophrenic buddy's reaction when I tried to explain to him how dopamine works and how his medication interferes with it: "How can you say dopamine does this or that?! You and these doctors are a bunch of arrogant idiots who know nothing about people!"

Spend a few months around a nursing home, psychiatric ward or some hospitals, and you'll see how horrifyingly right he can sometimes be.

Offline yeshuaisiam

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #177 on: October 29, 2013, 09:50:20 PM »
Sorry, I don't ask the solutions in my Erlenmeyer flasks if it hurts before I cook them.

This reminds me of my schizophrenic buddy's reaction when I tried to explain to him how dopamine works and how his medication interferes with it: "How can you say dopamine does this or that?! You and these doctors are a bunch of arrogant idiots who know nothing about people!"

Spend a few months around a nursing home, psychiatric ward or some hospitals, and you'll see how horrifyingly right he can sometimes be.

I couldn't agree more!
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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #178 on: October 30, 2013, 08:20:23 AM »
They don't need to know about people.  They need to know about medical problems, and for the most part, they are pretty good at that.

I don't go to the doctor for him to tell me what a great person I am and swap fishing stories.  I go so he can fix what ails me.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2013, 08:21:04 AM by TheTrisagion »
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Offline hecma925

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Re: To those married/in relationships that watch porn...
« Reply #179 on: October 30, 2013, 10:03:32 AM »
What if the fish you ate ails you?  The doctor may have to swap some stories with you.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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