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Author Topic: My negative experiences growing up with the Malankara church  (Read 955 times) Average Rating: 0
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alexp4uni
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« on: February 16, 2005, 11:53:55 PM »

No one knows me here me here so I feel this post could help people see where I'm coming from:
Let me just state that learning Orthodoxy has been a real struggle to accept when other people's belief in India are hypocritical. "Tradition" is only when all the people in their own parishes are jumping on the same bandwagon. When anything like worship service, prayers, funeral services all have to be done together and they are totally two-faced when they work alone in a secular job and be hypocritical and judgmental of others (My dad was apart of the church as a deacon when he was in his teens and he is now 60 years old, he has noticed there is rarely a chance that people take confession.
I was born with western views, but eager when I was young to see my family in India I loved them. But when it came to my family friends. They are the ones that proved heretical and blasphemy to the Church! THEY ARE THE ONES THAT SEXUALLY ABUSED ME AND TOOK AWAY MY CHILDHOOD! THEY ARE THE ONES THAT WERE SELFISH AND BURDENED TO A LIFE OF IGNORANCE AND JEALOUSY.  I have bad experiences with the Malankara church. Because of the people in some of the parishes who were my relatives who turned against me when I was younger (this was before I became rebellious in high school). Apparently they thought being in American was giving up my ethnicity. When in an actuality I was in the same “boat” as most of my cousins who didn't have strugglingr when my parents were working and struggling to scrape a few dollars as immigrants to this country. One tragic Example of parishes in India would be that the former Vicar of one parish back walled my family with the whole parish against us because we had a few western Ideologies(e.g. foreigners and educated workers moving in The country to help underdeveloped cities and families moving to the US to help families back home, they felt that this would break the family safety net)and I got the brunt of that physical abuse when they were angry at my mom,  they told me to shut my mouth about it and I did. Sexual abuse is a taboo but acceptable when disciplining wives and women in India. BUT What I went through at the age of 4 all the way through age 10 is a crappy life for a child.

 I accept the things of my life and it's cold and bitter but growing up, their is more opportunity to get out of my "sinkhole" but I wont accept the Malankara church for it's squabbling and mentality of it's believers. But with the Malankara church being apart of the OO it is unfortunate that I was baptised in this church.

Many EO are fortunate in their spiritual life to be with others who have your same struggles who you can relate with. But "Old Country" Indians fail to see any good positive aspect in their trials and tribulations. They will never be genuine enough, if you were to travel to some parts of where the churches are established and got to know these non-genuine people then you could see right through them. Money Money MoneyGǪ
Then here come’s Chicago and there is a Malankara parish, which I am not going to mention any names but 10 years ago the parish that my family went to became between tow parishes. It split because of some stupid funding in India, I wish they emphasized more but won’t tell people because it makes them angry. They literally stopped liturgy for about a month to continue their arguements on Sundays .And the priestwho wanted to help and resolve this issue was forced to leave the parish. He had his farewell witht he  parish that day and half of them supported him And half of them despised him.

It will never be acceptable in my heart anymore to be with these Indian churches here in the US. But I would hope one day there would be a Byzantine church for Indians and inclusiveness for others in my situation. But it’s not possible. That’s why I like attending a Russian parish now where I can’t there is and emotion and power that wants me to go back almost every Sunday. I can't receive communion but amazingly enough I get respect from people who are genuine. And understand I feel out of place and really uncomfortable during the 2 or sometimes 4 hours service but it's me being unique and I am only there for liturgy and I go home after a few minutes,


-----It is never the acceptance of selfish man but for God alone------
I will not let my past hauint me. SO I wont be apart of the Indian church. It is also a revelation of how subtle I have been in this post. My relationship to people of my ethnicty has been good. No one like my grandfathers, cousins,in-laws have ever had a bad influences on me. The one who have a bad influences on me when l state they are soul-corrupting heretic, should be condemed in isolation for what they did to me. They even abused the Bible in their own to fit their evil purposes. It is ironic that the very life they believe they are upholding, so dear to Indian Christians, have become the source of their fall . Have become the captured in denial in evil lies. For in their sincere attempts to serve God by listening to His Word, they have instead, idolized the secular hum-drum life and strayed away from the truth, making themselves an easy prey for being terribly deceived.

I am continually amazed at the number of people who are coverts to EO and they pray, and constitently read Psalms.
This is from one covert I know who had the same scenario as mine with his childhood : " For some grave choices I have made, it is not apparent since I have made full appreciation to Christ Our God for the new. The new is fully clean and given back to the believer. What an age we believe in when we cannot appreciate God in close relationship. So different from many other relationship. I do have my anger and despise myself for the wrong things my father did to me. But I cannot be at blame since I it was not my fault."

This is fully pleasing into God' eyes. I'm not the kinda person who will get emotional but I plead with my heart "I wish for the injustice people go through be granted mercy and lead them with companionship through the valley of the shadow of death. I hope people can understand this post and respect for going to an ACROD parish now. I wont go back and I'm not tuning but I will appreciate a Syrian, Armenian, Ethiopian and Coptic for the wonderful history they have experienced. We must ask ourselves Why Did God put us in different world yet we are all the same?

. The Book of Psalms is a book of 150 prayers included in the Holy Bible itself. If you would like to pray, there is no better place to start or to finish. Everything you might ever need to pray about is mentioned somewhere in these prayers. People often argue about what it is proper to say in prayer, well you can trust that the Psalms were especially written for us by God Himself to help us pray. Like any thing worthwhile, they may not be easy to use at first, and you may not understand everything the first time, but with time you find yourself immersed in an ocean of spirituality if you read the Psalms regularly.
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Mor Ephrem
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« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2005, 09:22:59 AM »

Dear Alex,

Let me begin by telling you how sorry I am to have read your story.  I am not unacquainted with suffering, but I don't know what your situation is like, and will keep you in prayer.  I mean that sincerely. 

With that said, however, you must realise at some point that every Church has problems and bad people.  We have hypocrites, people who don't confess regularly, and sinners of the worst kind in the Indian Church.  So do other OO Churches, the Russians, the Greeks, and everyone else in EOxy, the Roman Catholics, the Protestants, and every other religion, as well agnostics and atheists.  Moreover, they are not specific to Indians (while not rejecting your experience, I must say that I've been Indian as long as you have, and been involved with "the scene" enough to have a quite different impression of the reality on the ground from your own), but include all races, cultures, ethnic groups, etc.  But the Indian Church and "Indian culture" is not about any of those thiings (the same could be said for the other faiths and groups).  Joining the Russian Church may get you out of "the Indian scene", but it won't get you far away from sinners.  I'm not saying that to scare you; that's just the way it is.  Everything you mentioned (and, admittedly, I didn't understand it all) can be found among believers of all these other faiths and cultures.  Eventually, I think, rather than running away, we will have to come to grips with reality, deal with it, and become holier, by the grace of God.  If you find this in the Russian Church, then I thank God that He has led you to her.     

God bless you. 
« Last Edit: February 17, 2005, 09:27:48 AM by Mor Ephrem » Logged

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« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2005, 10:29:32 AM »

I agree. Your experiences are awful, and I couldn't even begin to imagine, but that is not the Church's fault. That is the fault of individuals who need to give up their pride and truly repent. The Malankara Church is not to blame...and no matter where you go, you will find someone that annoys you, hurts you, makes you feel less than human. But you can't rely on those things in your walk of faith. If you do, you will always be dependent on men to define your faith, and you will spend the rest of your life Church hopping. Look to God and his Holy Church and you will find guidance and healing. The Church is above these awful things, because it has been put above them by God. Keep the faith my friend and don't let heinous experiences draw you away.

In Christ,
Adrian Davila
« Last Edit: February 17, 2005, 10:30:26 AM by SetFree » Logged

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« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2005, 10:40:08 AM »


Alex, you will be in my prayers, and I ask that you pray for me.  I too love the Psalms, and I think it is wonderful that you love them so much.  That being said, I must echo the sentiments of the other posters here.  Individuals seem to be at fault here rather than the entire Church.  May God have mercy on us all.
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