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Author Topic: A better Board?  (Read 6907 times) Average Rating: 0
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« Reply #45 on: October 12, 2013, 10:16:01 PM »

I have a suggestion Father, before I reply to the rest of your post and see what you think.

So it appears to me that a lot of the members here are worried about potential converts and the supposed nastiness that is displayed on here.

I say make the entire board private except for the Convert Issues. Once someone converts, they can gain access to the rest of the site.

If you have people who are being turned away from the Church because of what goes on here (and if you do, you have bigger problems but I'm not getting into that), then perhaps we should only limit the access guests and converts have to the site.

Because this is a religious board, usernames here are a bit more personal than anywhere else. People who have their issues or problems post all the time, which only serves as fodder to ridicule someone embroiled in an argument.

People who I engage in debates with I know fairly well based on their persona here that I don't think me being rude to them will actually hurt their feelings.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 10:19:45 PM by Achronos » Logged

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« Reply #46 on: October 12, 2013, 10:30:02 PM »

I actually think that this is one of the better forums out there. There is a tolerance for a diversity of views, and there seems to be a sense of community here, even among those who disagree with one another. Are there instances of bad behavior? Of course, but that is the nature of human interactions. I'm quite pleased with my experience here.
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« Reply #47 on: October 12, 2013, 10:31:29 PM »

I actually think that this is one of the better forums out there. There is a tolerance for a diversity of views, and there seems to be a sense of community here, even among those who disagree with one another. Are there instances of bad behavior? Of course, but that is the nature of human interactions. I'm quite pleased with my experience here.
And I remember you were treated worse when I started posting here in 2010.

But yeah I agree with you.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 10:33:20 PM by Achronos » Logged

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« Reply #48 on: October 12, 2013, 10:36:15 PM »

I have a suggestion Father, before I reply to the rest of your post and see what you think.

So it appears to me that a lot of the members here are worried about potential converts and the supposed nastiness that is displayed on here.

I say make the entire board private except for the Convert Issues. Once someone converts, they can gain access to the rest of the site.

If you have people who are being turned away from the Church because of what goes on here (and if you do, you have bigger problems but I'm not getting into that), then perhaps we should only limit the access guests and converts have to the site.

Because this is a religious board, usernames here are a bit more personal than anywhere else. People who have their issues or problems post all the time, which only serves as fodder to ridicule someone embroiled in an argument.

People who I engage in debates with I know fairly well based on their persona here that I don't think me being rude to them will actually hurt their feelings.

But then I'd miss out on a great deal of interesting conversations. I've learned a lot from the site and if my access was limited to just the Convert Issues forum, it likely wouldn't have come to me to ask the questions needed to gain that information. In fact, I probably wouldn't have stuck around or even bothered to register.

I'll admit that some things people say around here bother me at times. It might even be that majority of people might, at one point or another, produce something that makes cringe, but I'd much rather have to grind my teeth then lose all the good things that come up. Sometimes people might be too rude but it's worth enduring it if the forums are still around.

If people are disregarding the Church due in part to this site, I question whether it's the site's fault at all.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 10:40:13 PM by Hawkeye » Logged

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« Reply #49 on: October 12, 2013, 10:38:28 PM »

SO close off good info that would be useful...because people can't be civil everywhere?

Unless more people will participate in Convert Issues, aiding and assisting the posters there with all their questions, it then becomes pretty pointless to have a very low populated area with no one -answering- those questions.


I can totally see locking all the 'non religious topics, and free for all areas' from Guests....because that makes sense, why show the guests in your house the room you cram all the crap into?

But I also see that 'converts' have questions that are not exclusive to converts, and those would be better discussed in say 'Liturgy' or the other appropriate room.

I guess to me, it all depends on whether this is to be a 'hangout' for a bunch of sad argumentative folks who thrive off being 'right' and superior about it....or a info source, an outreach of the faith, and a nice place for ALL to discuss things in.
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« Reply #50 on: October 12, 2013, 10:45:53 PM »

Two forums I "frequent" (if even that) require registration before posting, let alone reading topics.

But per the Rules of this site:

"To be clear, this site exists as an Orthodox Forum where people who identify themselves as Orthodox are given a place to discuss things pertinent to the Orthodox Faith."

Of course we have other randomness to discuss besides the faith, but overall that is the site's purpose.

If I could do it over, I wish I followed Fr. Hopko's advice more strongly on becoming Orthodox.,
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« Reply #51 on: October 12, 2013, 10:48:28 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.
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« Reply #52 on: October 12, 2013, 10:50:37 PM »

SO close off good info that would be useful...because people can't be civil everywhere?

I don't see what information would be useful if you are an inquirer/catechumen outside of what your priest or other priests say. Asking questions is good, but none of us know where you are spiritually to offer any real guidance.

None of the stuff the Orthodox here discuss should concern you just yet.
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« Reply #53 on: October 12, 2013, 10:51:06 PM »


I'd like to hear what y'all have to say.  

Where should these concerns be voiced? On this public thread, or through PM?

Here is fine, unless you want to call specific people or circumstances out.  Specific complaints of moderation, or complaints about specific moderators, should still be conducted via PM.

I'd like to keep the discussion here broad - to put it in the language of lawmaking, we're discussing policy, goals, and mission here, not specific statutes, laws, or applications.

My 2 cents for what it is worth:

The problem with rules is that some folks like to see how far they can go much like dating a girl. So, they brink the rules, and keep pushing the envelope, until they get slapped with a warning, and then they attack the moderators. Also, once rules are established, there will always be a need for continual revisions and longer rules to accommodate those who do brink the rules. However, who will take the time to read these continually revised pages of rules? Honestly, few will. And all the time taken to revise these rules will be in vain.

Sometimes less is best.

The Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," does not work as some people like to fight, so they push, shove, bait, and harass others, and sometimes can even accept what they get back in return. However, God is out of that equation. Such knock-out debates could be allowed in the private Political Forum as long as porn, blasphemy, and filthy words are not allowed.

We already have three areas where we can take off our shoes, let down our hair, and have a beer while we post. In these forums, soberness can be checked at the door: Other Topics, Free-for-all, and Politics

However, in the more sober sections, especially Prayer Forum, Convert Issues, Faith Issues, Liturgy, Orthodox-Other Christian Discussion, Oriental Orthodox Discussion, and Orthodox Family Forum, lack of soberness, jokes, and off topic discussions are really rude. In these forums, some folks have a bad habit of deliberately changing the topic to beer, pizza, bacon, pork, movies, video games, sports, and any other topic except the matter at hand. If that type of rudeness were to happen in a real world setting such as a college class such as calculus, biochemistry, or physics, enrolled troublemakers more than likely would be dropped by the professor in favor of those more serious students on the waiting list.

In preparation for Holy Confession, we are told to read an explanation of the Ten Commandments, and the Beatitudes. In addition, we are told to "Love our neighbor as ourselves" and "Love one another as Christ has loved us." These should be our basic rules here, which moderators and members should both follow.

Basically, if a person or moderator is respectfully addressing the topic at hand and not attacking a person or nit picking a person's post, then rudeness would be avoided. However, a few people and moderators have the bad habit of calling people out and unnecessarily derailing threads. That is also very rude.



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« Reply #54 on: October 12, 2013, 10:52:48 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.

Heh I remember when katerineofdixie scolded me over a relationship I had with a girl a year ago, someone could take that as being rude, but it was a good reality check. I appreciate her speaking directly and honestly on the subject.
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« Reply #55 on: October 12, 2013, 10:53:00 PM »

I actually think that this is one of the better forums out there. There is a tolerance for a diversity of views, and there seems to be a sense of community here, even among those who disagree with one another. Are there instances of bad behavior? Of course, but that is the nature of human interactions. I'm quite pleased with my experience here.
And I remember you were treated worse when I started posting here in 2010.

But yeah I agree with you.
I have had my ups and downs. There were times where my behavior was not the best, and I think that I have learned which posters is it useless to engage. Now days, these modern sophists will rarely get a response from me.

But at this point, I feel like things are going fairly well. I enjoy most of the conversations in which I participate here. I think that I have learned that it is best just to enjoy the awesome people, and laugh off the rude ones. Smiley
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« Reply #56 on: October 12, 2013, 10:55:14 PM »

I guess to me, it all depends on whether this is to be a 'hangout' for a bunch of sad argumentative folks who thrive off being 'right' and superior about it....or a info source, an outreach of the faith, and a nice place for ALL to discuss things in.
If you want an info source I can provide you a list of links you can read. You want an outreach of faith I can also show you.

But a discussion is going to have arguments. There isn't a way around it.

If you start policing people on every post they put up, who wants to post anymore?

I'm glad we aren't the most politically correct of people.
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« Reply #57 on: October 12, 2013, 10:58:01 PM »

I have had my ups and downs. There were times where my behavior was not the best, and I think that I have learned which posters is it useless to engage. Now days, these modern sophists will rarely get a response from me.

But at this point, I feel like things are going fairly well. I enjoy most of the conversations in which I participate here. I think that I have learned that it is best just to enjoy the awesome people, and laugh off the rude ones. Smiley
Well I think that view also is contributed by the fact you are working on getting your PhD, which is more important than arguing with stubborn people on the internet. I've seen the change in tone from you, but a positive one.
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« Reply #58 on: October 12, 2013, 10:58:26 PM »

.... because people can't be civil everywhere?

It seems that even basic, commonsense civility is beyond many here ....
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« Reply #59 on: October 12, 2013, 10:59:01 PM »

.... because people can't be civil everywhere?

It seems that even basic, commonsense civility is beyond many here ....
Where's vamrat to say that's why we have guns?
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« Reply #60 on: October 12, 2013, 10:59:06 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.

Heh I remember when katerineofdixie scolded me over a relationship I had with a girl a year ago, someone could take that as being rude, but it was a good reality check. I appreciate her speaking directly and honestly on the subject.

However, she was right on topic.

Give and take discussions are good if done respectfully.
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« Reply #61 on: October 12, 2013, 11:00:59 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.

Heh I remember when katerineofdixie scolded me over a relationship I had with a girl a year ago, someone could take that as being rude, but it was a good reality check. I appreciate her speaking directly and honestly on the subject.

However, she was right on topic.

Give and take discussions are good if done respectfully.
But why should it come back to a matter of respect?
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« Reply #62 on: October 12, 2013, 11:01:06 PM »

I actually think that this is one of the better forums out there. There is a tolerance for a diversity of views, and there seems to be a sense of community here, even among those who disagree with one another. Are there instances of bad behavior? Of course, but that is the nature of human interactions. I'm quite pleased with my experience here.
And I remember you were treated worse when I started posting here in 2010.

But yeah I agree with you.
I have had my ups and downs. There were times where my behavior was not the best, and I think that I have learned which posters is it useless to engage. Now days, these modern sophists will rarely get a response from me.

But at this point, I feel like things are going fairly well. I enjoy most of the conversations in which I participate here. I think that I have learned that it is best just to enjoy the awesome people, and laugh off the rude ones. Smiley

Exactly, we must learn to pick our battles and ignore those are rude and disrespectful.
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« Reply #63 on: October 12, 2013, 11:02:08 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.

Heh I remember when katerineofdixie scolded me over a relationship I had with a girl a year ago, someone could take that as being rude, but it was a good reality check. I appreciate her speaking directly and honestly on the subject.

However, she was right on topic.

Give and take discussions are good if done respectfully.
But why should it come back to a matter of respect?

Why? Because we are Christians who have chosen to follow Christ and love our neighbor, who might even be our worst enemy. Read St. Paul's epistle. Love is kind ...
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« Reply #64 on: October 12, 2013, 11:02:19 PM »

Quote
.... because people can't be civil everywhere?

It seems that even basic, commonsense civility is beyond many here ....

Sadly so. I'll try to PM converts if I see someone being rude so they won't think all of us are like that.
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« Reply #65 on: October 12, 2013, 11:02:57 PM »

In these forums, some folks have a bad habit of deliberately changing the topic to beer, pizza, bacon, pork, movies, video games, sports, and any other topic except the matter at hand.
But when are discussions ever on topic? One thing leads to another. Or more questions that come up from the OP.

It just hasn't been bad enough to where I have taken a notice though.
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« Reply #66 on: October 12, 2013, 11:03:14 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.

Heh I remember when katerineofdixie scolded me over a relationship I had with a girl a year ago, someone could take that as being rude, but it was a good reality check. I appreciate her speaking directly and honestly on the subject.

However, she was right on topic.

Give and take discussions are good if done respectfully.
But why should it come back to a matter of respect?

There, in a single line, is the core and essence of the paramount problem plaguing this forum.
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« Reply #67 on: October 12, 2013, 11:03:26 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.

Heh I remember when katerineofdixie scolded me over a relationship I had with a girl a year ago, someone could take that as being rude, but it was a good reality check. I appreciate her speaking directly and honestly on the subject.

However, she was right on topic.

Give and take discussions are good if done respectfully.
But why should it come back to a matter of respect?

Why? Because we are Christians who have chosen to follow Christ and love our neighbor, who might even be our worst enemy. Read St. Paul's epistle. Love is kind ...
Yes it is love your neighbor, not respect them.
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« Reply #68 on: October 12, 2013, 11:03:32 PM »

I guess to me, it all depends on whether this is to be a 'hangout' for a bunch of sad argumentative folks who thrive off being 'right' and superior about it....or a info source, an outreach of the faith, and a nice place for ALL to discuss things in.
If you want an info source I can provide you a list of links you can read. You want an outreach of faith I can also show you.

But a discussion is going to have arguments. There isn't a way around it.

If you start policing people on every post they put up, who wants to post anymore?

I'm glad we aren't the most politically correct of people.


So that's a vote for the 'in folks' hangout.  Wink


trust me, I have lists of books, I read them. I listen to what my Priest says, and learn. But its pretty naive to assume that until one is Orthodox that limiting it to that is realistic in this era.

You seem to be taking my comments as anti-argument.  I am not.   I am against 'name calling, rudeness, disrespectfulness and just general meanspirtedness'

One can debate a whole heck of a lot of topics, without resorting to any of the above. Academic debates of even the most contentious topics don't need to have those things in it.

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« Reply #69 on: October 12, 2013, 11:03:39 PM »

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.... because people can't be civil everywhere?

It seems that even basic, commonsense civility is beyond many here ....

Sadly so. I'll try to PM converts if I see someone being rude so they won't think all of us are like that.

I do the same, and they respond so graciously.
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« Reply #70 on: October 12, 2013, 11:04:33 PM »

Based on this thread alone, I find a "to each his own" approach.  In other words, some people see this site as pretty good compared to others, and some (and maybe the word "some" might also be exaggerated in my opinion) see that the site has become more deplorable.  In my opinion, if we moderate ALL rudeness, there would be no room for a casual conversation with a few jokes.  It would be to me as if an extremist Puritan prohibits laughing as against spirituality.  And Fr. George mentions something quite important that has just been brought to my attention.  It is the way in which rudeness is used that might sometimes be considered quite necessary for some people, although it might be very difficult to discern at times.  In my opinion, when rudeness gets out of hand, there is always the option to lock the thread, and for those who reopen the subject to subvert the lock, then there's penalty.  This has been my experience in another site I moderated as well.

Heh I remember when katerineofdixie scolded me over a relationship I had with a girl a year ago, someone could take that as being rude, but it was a good reality check. I appreciate her speaking directly and honestly on the subject.

However, she was right on topic.

Give and take discussions are good if done respectfully.
But why should it come back to a matter of respect?

Why? Because we are Christians who have chosen to follow Christ and love our neighbor, who might even be our worst enemy. Read St. Paul's epistle. Love is kind ...
Yes it is love your neighbor, not respect them.

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.

Just wait till you get married. Marriages will not last if the couples do not respect each other.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 11:05:26 PM by Maria » Logged

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« Reply #71 on: October 12, 2013, 11:07:19 PM »


I am against 'name calling, rudeness, disrespectfulness and just general meanspirtedness'

One can debate a whole heck of a lot of topics, without resorting to any of the above.


Precisely, sister. Precisely. Why is this concept so difficult for so many folks here to understand?
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« Reply #72 on: October 12, 2013, 11:08:40 PM »


I am against 'name calling, rudeness, disrespectfulness and just general meanspirtedness'

One can debate a whole heck of a lot of topics, without resorting to any of the above.


Precisely, sister. Precisely. Why is this concept so difficult for so many folks here to understand?
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« Reply #73 on: October 12, 2013, 11:11:19 PM »

So that's a vote for the 'in folks' hangout.  Wink

Well it is an Orthodox Christian board and yes I do want to "hangout" with people of the same faith. Sorry if that comes off sounding like a club, most Orthodox parishes are.

Quote
trust me, I have lists of books, I read them. I listen to what my Priest says, and learn. But its pretty naive to assume that until one is Orthodox that limiting it to that is realistic in this era.
It is entirely realistic. You are just starting out, I assume, what we say on here about matters on the faith should mean zip to you.

If you have hangups on certain things, or struggling with prayer, need help on starting a prayer rule or need daily biblical readings then you can make a thread on the Convert Issues board.

I don't see why, for example, a debate over homoousian should ever concern you.

In fact it's those kind of things you shouldn't worry about as a convert.

Quote
I am against 'name calling, rudeness, disrespectfulness and just general meanspirtedness'
But you see it is more of community than you give it credit for.

My friends and I name call, act rude and disrespectful all the time. Oh and meanspirited too.

I've been posting here for 3 years and most of the people here I know sort of well based on the persona they portray on the boards. So I know who I can joke with, make fun of and who can dish it too. But even with all that, I still love everybody here and pray for them.

I would love for people to continually ridicule me, it keeps me humble.
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« Reply #74 on: October 12, 2013, 11:15:21 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 11:15:27 PM by Achronos » Logged

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« Reply #75 on: October 12, 2013, 11:18:25 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.
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« Reply #76 on: October 12, 2013, 11:20:12 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.
If someone is being an abusive poster, they can show love and respect for him/her by not enabling them to the attention. That requires no effort.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 11:20:26 PM by Achronos » Logged

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« Reply #77 on: October 12, 2013, 11:22:01 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.

An alcoholic abusive father gets a necessarily rude awakening from those who love him.
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« Reply #78 on: October 12, 2013, 11:22:45 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.
If someone is being an abusive poster, they can show love and respect for him/her by not enabling them to the attention. That requires no effort.

Exactly. An abusive poster needs to be reported and then promptly ignored. It would ease the work of a moderator.
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« Reply #79 on: October 12, 2013, 11:24:11 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.
If someone is being an abusive poster, they can show love and respect for him/her by not enabling them to the attention. That requires no effort.

Exactly. An abusive poster needs to be reported and then promptly ignored. It would ease the work of a moderator.
It's called deafening silence.
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« Reply #80 on: October 12, 2013, 11:24:57 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.

An alcoholic abusive father gets a necessarily rude awakening from those who love him.

One can be blunt without being rude or disrespectful.   police

And ignoring or remaining silent over rudeness and bad behavior on the forum has done nothing to curb its continued presence.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 11:26:18 PM by LBK » Logged
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« Reply #81 on: October 12, 2013, 11:25:09 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.

An alcoholic abusive father gets a necessarily rude awakening from those who love him.

Very true. In fact, abusive posters here usually do get a strong warning or even a ban from moderators. A strong warning can be done with respect and love.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 11:25:38 PM by Maria » Logged

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« Reply #82 on: October 12, 2013, 11:25:21 PM »

So that's a vote for the 'in folks' hangout.  Wink

Well it is an Orthodox Christian board and yes I do want to "hangout" with people of the same faith. Sorry if that comes off sounding like a club, most Orthodox parishes are.

And that makes it -right-?
Quote
trust me, I have lists of books, I read them. I listen to what my Priest says, and learn. But its pretty naive to assume that until one is Orthodox that limiting it to that is realistic in this era.

It is entirely realistic. You are just starting out, I assume, what we say on here about matters on the faith should mean zip to you.

If you have hangups on certain things, or struggling with prayer, need help on starting a prayer rule or need daily biblical readings then you can make a thread on the Convert Issues board.

I don't see why, for example, a debate over homoousian should ever concern you.

In fact it's those kind of things you shouldn't worry about as a convert.

And the most serious topics are generally NOT where people are slinging mud, so that's a pretty poor example.


Thanks so much for telling me what I should be worrying about and where I should limit myself to participating in.....


Quote
I am against 'name calling, rudeness, disrespectfulness and just general meanspirtedness'
But you see it is more of community than you give it credit for.

My friends and I name call, act rude and disrespectful all the time. Oh and meanspirited too.

I've been posting here for 3 years and most of the people here I know sort of well based on the persona they portray on the boards. So I know who I can joke with, make fun of and who can dish it too. But even with all that, I still love everybody here and pray for them.

I would love for people to continually ridicule me, it keeps me humble.

You see name calling, rudeness and disrespectfulness as normal because that's what young folks, especially guys, seem to think is ok and normal.  

And if you ask me, that's a pretty sad development , a culture based on bringing others -down- (whether pretend or pseudo-jest or not) rather than lifting others up.  

It honestly doesn't sound very -fun- to me....'let me think of the hassle i can give this guy'... and it doesn't exactly sound like anything I have ever heard being taught as part of Christianity.  

But since it's amusing, why not do it
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« Reply #83 on: October 12, 2013, 11:30:50 PM »

And that makes it -right-?
It's not a matter of being right or wrong.

Quote
And the most serious topics are generally NOT where people are slinging mud, so that's a pretty poor example.
Oh well then you haven't been around long enough to see it. And it ain't mud either.

Quote
Thanks so much for telling me what I should be worrying about and where I should limit myself to participating in.....
You're welcome.

Quote
You see name calling, rudeness and disrespectfulness as normal because that's what young folks, especially guys, seem to think is ok and normal

And if you ask me, that's a pretty sad development , a culture based on bringing others -down- (whether pretend or pseudo-jest or not) rather than lifting others up.  
Well Tony Robbins or Joel Osteen can fit the bill on lifting you up.

How high they can do it, I have no idea.

We bring each other down on a daily basis. It's why society is structured the way it is currently. A giant casino with few winners and the majority of losers.

Quote
It honestly doesn't sound very -fun- to me....'let me think of the hassle i can give this guy'... and it doesn't exactly sound like anything I have ever heard being taught as part of Christianity.
Ever read how God treated Job?
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« Reply #84 on: October 12, 2013, 11:34:08 PM »


Quote
It honestly doesn't sound very -fun- to me....'let me think of the hassle i can give this guy'... and it doesn't exactly sound like anything I have ever heard being taught as part of Christianity.
Ever read how God treated Job?

I have....but if i am remembering the story right, Job didn't use that as a reason to treat either God or other humans around him in that same manner. 
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« Reply #85 on: October 12, 2013, 11:38:46 PM »


Quote
It honestly doesn't sound very -fun- to me....'let me think of the hassle i can give this guy'... and it doesn't exactly sound like anything I have ever heard being taught as part of Christianity.
Ever read how God treated Job?

I have....but if i am remembering the story right, Job didn't use that as a reason to treat either God or other humans around him in that same manner.  
Wasn't talking about Job.

"Let me think of the hassle I can give to this guy.....and get Satan to do it too" - God

I mean we are supposed to be like God...
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 11:39:18 PM by Achronos » Logged

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« Reply #86 on: October 12, 2013, 11:40:02 PM »

The pendulum doesn't have to swing just as far in the opposite direction.  In fact, it doesn't have to swing at all.  There is a perfectly natural position for it to just be still.  What does that mean?  Well, because Steve in Montana is a jerk doesn't mean we all should be and because Norah in Sweden is super sweet and passive doesn't mean we all have to be.  A little maturity goes a long way.  People can always stop acting like they are still 13 years old and choose not to go the route of attacking someone or something.  Many people here go off on some tangent in response to something someone did not say.  It makes no sense.  Some people here get a kick out of attacking others or other groups of people without cause.  This also makes no sense.  Disagree and rationally support why without saying things that are false.  Some people can't have an intelligent discussion without sarcasm.  No sense.  Some people like to single out one poster and bombard them in the hopes of silencing them.  Of course they couldn't do that in real life.  No one would allow it.  Some take a persons opinion and unleash fury on them for having that opinion.  Just because you find no problem with something doesnt mean its okay to do it and demand others to suck it up.  Show a little respect, dont do it.  Did they never grow out of their childhood bully phase?  Can they not handle intelligently posed altering opinions?  Are they really that shallow?  Some people want you to answer a question and when they dont like the answer claim you never provided the answer.  Immaturity personified.

Why don't people just grow up act act like adults instead of school yard punks?  Remember, you are supposed to be a Christian.  When you display absolutely no regard for other people, you aren't acting Christ-like in anyway.  You dont have to agree but you shouldn't lash out like a 5 year old because you didn't get what you wanted.  You are supposed to be Orthodox, act like it.
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« Reply #87 on: October 12, 2013, 11:40:30 PM »

Wow, how do you guys post so fast, by the time I figure out what I want to say your already 4 or 5 posts beyond it. And Achronos wonders why I stay in the prayer forum so much.  Wink
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« Reply #88 on: October 12, 2013, 11:43:04 PM »

Wow, how do you guys post so fast, by the time I figure out what I want to say your already 4 or 5 posts beyond it. And Achronos wonders why I stay in the prayer forum so much.  Wink
You are much too humble Bob.
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« Reply #89 on: October 12, 2013, 11:44:06 PM »

If you truly love someone, you will respect them.
I can love my neighbor but not respect his/her actions.

If someone has an alcoholic father, they can show love and respect for him by not enabling him to continue drinking. That requires tough love and patience.

An alcoholic abusive father gets a necessarily rude awakening from those who love him.

One can be blunt without being rude or disrespectful.   police

And ignoring or remaining silent over rudeness and bad behavior on the forum has done nothing to curb its continued presence.

I think it's fine to call someone self-righteous who portrays himself as someone who feels they're always right and everyone else he/she is debating is wrong.  Sometimes, the word is misused and it ends up being unnecessarily rude, or maybe misunderstanding also ends it up being misused.

A drunk/abusive father is a "drunkard and a lousy" father.  That's rude, but not wrong.

Moderatorial silence does not mean nothing is done to curb any disrespect.  The posting community's (including moderators who play the role as posters too) disapproval is just as effective, if not more when it comes to a poster's rudeness that doesn't necessarily break the rules even though they're wrong.

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