Serpentslayer's preaching combined

[TheTrisagion]

I am beyond despair.  GPP SerpentSlayer came back to bestow his blessing upon us and we rejected him. 

WOE to you serpents that have profaned the anointed! 

WOE to you doubters of the Seer, for his wrath will come upon you and that right quickly and you shall be torn limb from limb and your bones will be scattered across the seven seas.

WOE to you mockers of the enlightenment that has not entered the world until this day, for GPP SerpentSlayer has come to redeem you from your iniquity and you have rejected his benevolence.

[LBK]

I am beyond despair.  GPP SerpentSlayer came back to bestow his blessing upon us and we rejected him. 

WOE to you serpents that have profaned the anointed! 

WOE to you doubters of the Seer, for his wrath will come upon you and that right quickly and you shall be torn limb from limb and your bones will be scattered across the seven seas.

WOE to you mockers of the enlightenment that has not entered the world until this day, for GPP SerpentSlayer has come to redeem you from your iniquity and you have rejected his benevolence.

I. Love. You.   

[Arachne]

It's all the fault of ol' Trespassers William.

[Michał Kalina]

@Serpentslayer, since it seems you show not willingness to engage in any discussions and prefer only to preach your thelogoy, starting from now you are obliged to do this in this thread ONLY and are forbidden to do this anywhere else on the forum. Disobedience to this request will result in further discipline (warnings etc.).

Some following sollutions to your activity on the forum might come in future.

[TheTrisagion]

THIS. IS. FANTASTIC!

All of the wisdom has now been combined into one tome for the edification of the faithful.  Though the GPP has left us, we have been graced with his prophecies.  In the spirit of the GPP, I believe the first and most important thing that must be done is we must each interpret his writings in a manner that makes sense to us personally.  It is important that none of us have the same interpretation as that would be a sign of demonic involvement.

[hecma925]

We will be gleaning wisdom from his writings, commentaries, and prophecies for many generations.  But I did not heed his word.  I fear damnation.

[TheTrisagion]

We will be gleaning wisdom from his writings, commentaries, and prophecies for many generations.  But I did not heed his word.  I fear damnation.

Fear not.  If we remember his words of blessed memory...

He didn't questioned my authority, I have none. What he did is persecute The Lord by attacking his member and in that respect I as a servant and prisoner of Christ and God as my witness forgive him and you because you have testify pied falsely.

You will note that as long as your failing is a result of pie, you have been forgiven.  I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.  I cannot be dogmatic on that point.

[LBK]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

[Arachne]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

Remember to observe the seasons. As the Revised Zoroastrian calendar is 7.8888 days slow on the original, we are now on the cusp of apple and pumpkin pie.

[TheTrisagion]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the heresy never end!?!?  

[LBK]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

[hecma925]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

[hecma925]

We will be gleaning wisdom from his writings, commentaries, and prophecies for many generations.  But I did not heed his word.  I fear damnation.

Fear not.  If we remember his words of blessed memory...

He didn't questioned my authority, I have none. What he did is persecute The Lord by attacking his member and in that respect I as a servant and prisoner of Christ and God as my witness forgive him and you because you have testify pied falsely.

You will note that as long as your failing is a result of pie, you have been forgiven.  I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.  I cannot be dogmatic on that point.

I exegete pecan pie, which I will masticate this very evening.

[LBK]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Brandy is grapes, vodka is grain, and slivovits is plums. Hey, I like where this is heading!

[Arachne]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Only one of your five-a-day, though, regardless of quantity.

[TheTrisagion]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

In reflecting on the words of the enlightened Seer we see this passage...

VANILA SKY you must walk the PLANK called DEATH before you can even dream of being present with The Lord.

As far as the world that waits for the almost 2000 years in the making SECOND COMING, they to wil get their wish and the devil called lucifer will grant it for them.

It is now clear to me that only vanila pie (which rhymes with sky) is acceptable. I am having difficulty with the spelling of vanila as I always thought it was spelled with 2 "l"s.  Perhaps this is a new revelation that we ought to go to the new revised spelling.

[Arachne]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

In reflecting on the words of the enlightened Seer we see this passage...

VANILA SKY you must walk the PLANK called DEATH before you can even dream of being present with The Lord.

As far as the world that waits for the almost 2000 years in the making SECOND COMING, they to wil get their wish and the devil called lucifer will grant it for them.

It is now clear to me that only vanila pie (which rhymes with sky) is acceptable. I am having difficulty with the spelling of vanila as I always thought it was spelled with 2 "l"s.  Perhaps this is a new revelation that we ought to go to the new revised spelling.

And so is the pie in the sky prophecy fulfilled! Alleluia!

[LBK]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Only one of your five-a-day, though, regardless of quantity.

Grapes, plums, pears, apricots and peaches. There! Five fruits, all brewed accordingly.  

[Arachne]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Only one of your five-a-day, though, regardless of quantity.

Grapes, plums, pears, apricots and peaches. There! Five fruits, all brewed accordingly.  

Preservation is a sacred duty.

[TheTrisagion]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

In reflecting on the words of the enlightened Seer we see this passage...

VANILA SKY you must walk the PLANK called DEATH before you can even dream of being present with The Lord.

As far as the world that waits for the almost 2000 years in the making SECOND COMING, they to wil get their wish and the devil called lucifer will grant it for them.

It is now clear to me that only vanila pie (which rhymes with sky) is acceptable. I am having difficulty with the spelling of vanila as I always thought it was spelled with 2 "l"s.  Perhaps this is a new revelation that we ought to go to the new revised spelling.

And so is the pie in the sky prophecy fulfilled! Alleluia!

I see what you did there, and I must say, I like it. 

[LBK]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

In reflecting on the words of the enlightened Seer we see this passage...

VANILA SKY you must walk the PLANK called DEATH before you can even dream of being present with The Lord.

As far as the world that waits for the almost 2000 years in the making SECOND COMING, they to wil get their wish and the devil called lucifer will grant it for them.

It is now clear to me that only vanila pie (which rhymes with sky) is acceptable. I am having difficulty with the spelling of vanila as I always thought it was spelled with 2 "l"s.  Perhaps this is a new revelation that we ought to go to the new revised spelling.

And so is the pie in the sky prophecy fulfilled! Alleluia!

All hail our wise and worthy Mistress, Matriarch Arachne! Her words are sweet honey and finest spun gold!

[TheTrisagion]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Only one of your five-a-day, though, regardless of quantity.

Grapes, plums, pears, apricots and peaches. There! Five fruits, all brewed accordingly.  

Preservation is a sacred duty.

Yay for Thursdays!  Let me in on this divine delight!

[hecma925]

Vanila is an ancient spice and the translation could be corrupted.  So we have no way of knowing if it's similar to our common "vanilla" or something more exotic.

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

In reflecting on the words of the enlightened Seer we see this passage...

VANILA SKY you must walk the PLANK called DEATH before you can even dream of being present with The Lord.

As far as the world that waits for the almost 2000 years in the making SECOND COMING, they to wil get their wish and the devil called lucifer will grant it for them.

It is now clear to me that only vanila pie (which rhymes with sky) is acceptable. I am having difficulty with the spelling of vanila as I always thought it was spelled with 2 "l"s.  Perhaps this is a new revelation that we ought to go to the new revised spelling.

[hecma925]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Only one of your five-a-day, though, regardless of quantity.

Grapes, plums, pears, apricots and peaches. There! Five fruits, all brewed accordingly.  

And distilled.

[LBK]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Only one of your five-a-day, though, regardless of quantity.

Grapes, plums, pears, apricots and peaches. There! Five fruits, all brewed accordingly.  

Preservation is a sacred duty.

.... of the drinkable variety, of course.   If one has no still, then infusions are more than acceptable, won't risk blowing up the neighborhood, and won't run foul of the authorities.

[TheTrisagion]

Vanila is an ancient spice and the translation could be corrupted.  So we have no way of knowing if it's similar to our common "vanilla" or something more exotic.

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

In reflecting on the words of the enlightened Seer we see this passage...

VANILA SKY you must walk the PLANK called DEATH before you can even dream of being present with The Lord.

As far as the world that waits for the almost 2000 years in the making SECOND COMING, they to wil get their wish and the devil called lucifer will grant it for them.

It is now clear to me that only vanila pie (which rhymes with sky) is acceptable. I am having difficulty with the spelling of vanila as I always thought it was spelled with 2 "l"s.  Perhaps this is a new revelation that we ought to go to the new revised spelling.

Now that the Matriarch has granted her blessing on the interpretation, I feel quite comfortable in knowing that we heurmenutically exegeted the passage correctly.

[LBK]

Vanila is an ancient spice and the translation could be corrupted.  So we have no way of knowing if it's similar to our common "vanilla" or something more exotic.

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the blasphemy never end!?!?  

My dear Tri, are we not living in the end times, where the old Law has been fulfilled, and where there is neither Jew nor Greek, nor clean and unclean foods? Was not Peter commanded to eat of all that was on the sheet?

I speak as one well-versed in the harvesting of seafood from its wild environs, and in its preparation for the table. Feeding the multitudes is a specialty of mine.

In reflecting on the words of the enlightened Seer we see this passage...

VANILA SKY you must walk the PLANK called DEATH before you can even dream of being present with The Lord.

As far as the world that waits for the almost 2000 years in the making SECOND COMING, they to wil get their wish and the devil called lucifer will grant it for them.

It is now clear to me that only vanila pie (which rhymes with sky) is acceptable. I am having difficulty with the spelling of vanila as I always thought it was spelled with 2 "l"s.  Perhaps this is a new revelation that we ought to go to the new revised spelling.

Now that the Matriarch has granted her blessing on the interpretation, I feel quite comfortable in knowing that we heurmenutically exegeted the passage correctly.

Indeed. Let us raise a toast to our beloved Matriarch!

[hecma925]

Or we could crack a cidre or five. Ain't it grand that it's a booze-allowed day?

Some good English cidre would do the trick.  Hey, it's fruit, right? 

Only one of your five-a-day, though, regardless of quantity.

Grapes, plums, pears, apricots and peaches. There! Five fruits, all brewed accordingly.  

Preservation is a sacred duty.

.... of the drinkable variety, of course.   If one has no still, then infusions are more than acceptable, won't risk blowing up the neighborhood, and won't run foul of the authorities.

Yes, good infusions with vodka or brandy is most acceptable.  I do that every now and again.

[DeniseDenise]

I can't tell you how glad I am to see this and the return to the traditional piety!

Do you have a long catechumenate?

[hecma925]

I can't tell you how glad I am to see this and the return to the traditional piety!

Do you have a long catechumenate?

Seven years.  You must wear a mourning robe of burlap and have ashes rubbed on your head during the entire catechumenate.

[podkarpatska]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the heresy never end!?!?  

Oh my, I had 'lobstah' pot pie out in Wellfleet one year..If I recall, it was delicious..big trouble ahead....

[hecma925]

I believe it might be apple pie, but it is possible he meant strawberry pie.

Or pork pie. Or custard pie. You are entirely correct, we cannot be dogmatic on this point. It shall have to remain a theologoumenon, unless His Munificent Awesomeness condescends to enlighten us further on this point.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you would deign mention pork pie because if we exegete the context here, it clearly excludes the unclean foods of the OT. What next, a shellfish pie? Will the heresy never end!?!?  

Oh my, I had 'lobstah' pot pie out in Wellfleet one year..If I recall, it was delicious..big trouble ahead....

One enjoys sinning...I hope you are guilt-ridden.   

[TheTrisagion]

I can't tell you how glad I am to see this and the return to the traditional piety!

Do you have a long catechumenate?

Seven years.  You must wear a mourning robe of burlap and have ashes rubbed on your head during the entire catechumenate.

On a plus side, our online monastery is co-ed and since no one can see you, you can attend in your burlap underwear.  I do all the time.  

[LBK]

I can't tell you how glad I am to see this and the return to the traditional piety!

Do you have a long catechumenate?

Seven years.  You must wear a mourning robe of burlap and have ashes rubbed on your head during the entire catechumenate.

On a plus side, our online monastery is co-ed and since no one can see you, you can attend in your burlap underwear.  I do all the time.  

... or attend stitch-free, like Sts Mary of Egypt or Macarius the Great.  

[DeniseDenise]

Must one go entirely pie-less during that period or can one still partake of one's former piety while working their way into truly believing in the pie?

Burlap itches but pie consoles.

[TheTrisagion]

Must one go entirely pie-less during that period or can one still partake of one's former piety while working their way into truly believing in the pie?

Burlap itches but pie consoles.

Only vanila pie.  None of that pork pie nonsense.  The canons have been laid out clearly on that one. 

[Hinterlander]

It would be better to simply not reply to Serpentslayer at all then to fill the thread with a vain jocularity.

[TheTrisagion]

94.3% of my posts on this forum are vain jocularity. The other 5.7% are vain argumentations.

[Mor Ephrem]

There have been no insults. Just expanding on the apocryphal beatitude: 'Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.'

This reminded me of The Boring Prophet.  

[Didyma]

Must one go entirely pie-less during that period or can one still partake of one's former piety while working their way into truly believing in the pie?

Burlap itches but pie consoles.

Only vanila pie.  None of that pork pie nonsense.  The canons have been laid out clearly on that one.  

And what about Shepherd's Pie?

[hecma925]

Must one go entirely pie-less during that period or can one still partake of one's former piety while working their way into truly believing in the pie?

Burlap itches but pie consoles.

Only vanila pie.  None of that pork pie nonsense.  The canons have been laid out clearly on that one. 

I believe that was a local council only and has not been upheld or affirmed by the whole community.  The anti-pork faction is strong, but they do not make doctrine.

[Asteriktos]

Actually the 2nd canon of the Council in Trullo accepted earlier canons supporting both vanilla and pork pies, among several others. This has left things vague and open to argument ever since, though this particular canon from Trullo is rarely brought up because it is embarrassing at best, and even worse could be used by heretics to justify their preference fro apple pie.

[TheTrisagion]

Keep in mind, that neither canon nor universal consent establishes correct teaching here.  The ultimate authority is our own personal exegesis of our cherrypicked Scripture reference for only that can be infallible.  And obviously, if someone interprets a passage differently than myself, they are wrong and must be condemned.  This is our custom and we have no other.

[dzheremi]

It would be better to simply not reply to Serpentslayer at all then to fill the thread with a vain jocularity.

I agree. You forgot a comma, though.    (emoticons = vain jocularity)

[Asteriktos]

I need to go shower now. Thankfully I'm already naked.

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