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Author Topic: Protecting Children from Sex-Offenders  (Read 937 times) Average Rating: 0
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JamesR
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« on: August 31, 2013, 03:11:52 PM »

Well, woke up the other morning at around 6'o clock to the sound of shouting and pounding on a door, looked out my window to see that the police had my neighbor's apartment--he lives about two doors down from me--surrounded and were there to arrest him. He got arrested. The managers at the complex--my grandparents--were able to find out the charges. Okay here goes. This guy is homosexual and works at a nursing home for sick, elderly people. Apparently he was sexually violating and raping them. Sooo, it feels weird knowing that someone as nasty as this guy lived only two doors away from me. And I was wondering, what's the best way to protect my little sister from nasty sex offenders like this? Other than always holding her hand and concealing two large hunting knives on my belt, I can't think of much else. Has anyone here ever had to deal with sex offenders being around and/or attempting to violate their children?
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« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2013, 03:48:34 PM »

"Sex offender" is a rather imprecise term since it only refers to those who have been convicted of a sexually-related crime and have been added to the registry. There are many types of sex offenders. Your neighbor, if the charges you related are true and he is guilty, most likely would not have been at all interested in your little sister. It's very rare for any kind of criminal to be indiscriminate.

Some sex offenders are not necessarily dangerous--they're on the list because they had sex with an underage girlfriend, or sexted--even if they, too, were underage.

For every boogeyman you see around the corner, there are five more you don't see, and yet to be victimized by one is a rare occurrence. Most people end up living their lives without being violated by sex offenders.
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« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2013, 04:24:43 PM »

It wouldn't hurt to enroll her in a self defense class, if she is willing.
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« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2013, 04:50:37 PM »

First things first: put those knives back in the drawer, unless you want to find yourself behind bars before you can say 'bunchamugs'.

Second things second: Don't believe stereotypes. Anyone you meet along the street can be a criminal of any stripe, but you can't go about treating them like they are unless there is proof.

Make sure your sister knows what to do if someone touches her inappropriately (and that is run away screaming - no kidding). And make sure she knows she should tell your parents if such an incident happens. Many potential molesters threaten to harm kids that tell on them or convince them that nobody will believe them (especially if the adult in question is a particularly upstanding member of society).

If something does happen, don't allow her to be alone with that person again, and make a report to an appropriate channel.

Above all: Get someone to teach her internet security. Everything about not disclosing names or locations to people she doesn't know, and especially NO PICTURES. (That's why someone else than you needs to do that. Wink)
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« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2013, 05:04:10 PM »

By being watchful and sober, ye shall know these things.
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« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2013, 05:10:58 PM »

Part of protection must lay with a child knowing that if they are uncomfortable with something or, God forbid, have an unwanted experience that there are those who will always listen to them. Sadly most abuse comes not from some unknown bogeyman but someone known or close to them.

Knives in your belt is most likely to get you into a fix, and not actually help your sister. Families talking together about difficult issues without half scaring her death may be a good start.

One thing that does concern me in these times is a marked tendency in society to see so many dangers around that children are not allowed to play, make friends and undertake adventures because we confuse the 'what could happen' with the 'likelihood of something happening'. In other words we become victims of fear without anything actually happening to us or the ones we love.

So perhaps your first step is for you and your parents to have an open discussion about this and how you make your sister aware that she may come to any of you if she ever feels uncomfortable; no matter how difficult or small her concerns may be.

Arachne's advice too is sound, build upon it.
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« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2013, 05:16:34 PM »

Part of protection must lay with a child knowing that if they are uncomfortable with something or, God forbid, have an unwanted experience that there are those who will always listen to them. Sadly most abuse comes not from some unknown bogeyman but someone known or close to them.

Knives in your belt is most likely to get you into a fix, and not actually help your sister. Families talking together about difficult issues without half scaring her death may be a good start.

One thing that does concern me in these times is a marked tendency in society to see so many dangers around that children are not allowed to play, make friends and undertake adventures because we confuse the 'what could happen' with the 'likelihood of something happening'. In other words we become victims of fear without anything actually happening to us or the ones we love.

So perhaps your first step is for you and your parents to have an open discussion about this and how you make your sister aware that she may come to any of you if she ever feels uncomfortable; no matter how difficult or small her concerns may be.

Arachne's advice too is sound, build upon it.


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« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2013, 04:43:55 PM »

Well there are websites that you can search for sex offenders in your area so that you can be aware of who they are. Here are two:
http://www.nsopr.gov/?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1
http://www.familywatchdog.us/

You can find many more just by doing an internet search for sex offender registry. This can be helpful but remember the reported addresses aren't always accurate first of all since this is the address they chose to give the police and isn't necessarily checked on. Also many sex offenders aren't ever reported (I know of two in my own family that are child molesters but have no criminal record). Just teach her to be careful and always tell a parent if someone bothers her or makes her feel uncomfortable. I am also very selective about who is allowed alone around my children and never leave them at events such as piano lessons, ball practices, dance classes, etc. since these "trusted adults" are often found to be abusing their trust and time with the children. There is no way to stereotype this though as sex offenders come from all walks of life, male or female also, and can be assaulting people of any age or sex. As I said I personally know these kinds of psychos in my own family so I'm likely more paranoid than other parents. Just keep a watch out on her and teach her to trust her own instincts and KNOW that you will believe her and take action regardless of what the creep tells her if something ever happens.
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« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2013, 07:48:11 PM »

It wouldn't hurt to enroll her in a self defense class, if she is willing.

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« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2013, 07:51:13 PM »

Part of protection must lay with a child knowing that if they are uncomfortable with something or, God forbid, have an unwanted experience that there are those who will always listen to them. Sadly most abuse comes not from some unknown bogeyman but someone known or close to them.

Knives in your belt is most likely to get you into a fix, and not actually help your sister. Families talking together about difficult issues without half scaring her death may be a good start.

One thing that does concern me in these times is a marked tendency in society to see so many dangers around that children are not allowed to play, make friends and undertake adventures because we confuse the 'what could happen' with the 'likelihood of something happening'. In other words we become victims of fear without anything actually happening to us or the ones we love.

So perhaps your first step is for you and your parents to have an open discussion about this and how you make your sister aware that she may come to any of you if she ever feels uncomfortable; no matter how difficult or small her concerns may be.

Arachne's advice too is sound, build upon it.


Frankly his username violates me nearly every time I read it, but yes JamesR, Santa Granddad has a lot of good stuff here.
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« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2013, 07:53:44 PM »

Frankly his username violates me nearly every time I read it, but yes JamesR, Santa Granddad has a lot of good stuff here.

Is that what it is?

I always though it was something fancy and Hispanic.
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« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2013, 07:56:20 PM »

Frankly his username violates me nearly every time I read it, but yes JamesR, Santa Granddad has a lot of good stuff here.

Is that what it is?

I always though it was something fancy and Hispanic.

Me too!

When I realized what it was (I ignore usernames and stuff usually), I did feel a bit creeped out. Why? I have tossed too much money at therapy for less puzzling things. So I call it a mystery.
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« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2013, 08:04:09 PM »

Well do what you fell it best but do not watch too much Law and Order: SVU. Seriously that's really over-dramatized and creates a stereotype. If this guy is guilty he is a sick pervert, but remember he is innocent until proven guilty. If proven guilty well he's off to prison for a good while if he is actually raping people. But he may be let out to await trial if they decide they are pressing charges--though rape is pretty serious, so if it's rape the bond might be pretty high. I would just say don't let him near your kids if you see him but be discreet about that. No need to make a big scene. And tell her to be careful like someone said. He may well be innocent, but that's for a jury to decide. You have a right to presume a certain guilt unlike them to protect your children. If he is let our on bond or found not guilty of the charges, well he may well be guilty so I would still try and do what you feel is prudent. Hard to say because these charges could be relatively mild if its something like taking pictures of naked old people (mild according to the law that is, I think) or if is rape which is obviously serious. Try to find out the charges. Arrests and all that are made public. Well that is my poor advice.

It sounds like he likes old people though. Of course a pervert is a pervert, but I think they tend to stick to a certain type. Like my godfather when I became Catholic molested my sister and my friend's sister. Never charged or anything but he's obviously sick in the mind. If he did it again he would do it, I am guessing to teenage girls like  sister and her friend (my friend's sister) were then. Usually these sorts of scumbags like a certain type. My friend liked teenage girls in their sleep because he was a coward and too afraid to rape them. He did not need to use force. But this guy chooses old people it sounds like because he like power over them--which the medical profession allows. I really do not know what else to say. These sort of people make me sick since I have had to real with it personally with my sister but I also want to be defense attorney and I truly try to put my mind in the sort of mindset of defending people charged with these crimes, believing that I am upholding the right to due process. But you have a right to defend your children. Due process is a matter for the courts.
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« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2013, 08:14:38 PM »

Some sex offenders are not necessarily dangerous--they're on the list because they had sex with an underage girlfriend, or sexted--even if they, too, were underage.

I know I guy like that. Despite her objections, the state screwed him over.

He ended up marrying her too. Started a family and everything.

Still a registered sex offender, though.
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« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2013, 09:08:18 PM »

And I was wondering, what's the best way to protect my little sister from nasty sex offenders like this?

Nasty sex offenders like that wouldn't be interested in your little sister.  For starters, homosexuals aren't into females.  Homo=same.

Has anyone here ever had to deal with sex offenders being around and/or attempting to violate their children?

Not that I'm aware of.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is educate your sister about sexual assault and what to do about it.  There are web sites that discuss sexual assault in legal terms which can be very useful.  You should be more worried about her being molested by her peers than creepy random adults, i.e. boys groping girls on the school bus, at school, at parties, etc.
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« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2013, 02:05:04 AM »

I don't think it's necessary to get paranoid and take precautionary steps for a problem that may not even exist.  If you're curious about what sex offenders live in your neighborhood, or near your sister's school or other places she frequents, you can search through several online databases about registered sex offenders who live in those areas. Then, you can decide what precautions to take.
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« Reply #16 on: December 18, 2013, 10:52:39 PM »

Well, woke up the other morning at around 6'o clock to the sound of shouting and pounding on a door, looked out my window to see that the police had my neighbor's apartment--he lives about two doors down from me--surrounded and were there to arrest him. He got arrested. The managers at the complex--my grandparents--were able to find out the charges. Okay here goes. This guy is homosexual and works at a nursing home for sick, elderly people. Apparently he was sexually violating and raping them. Sooo, it feels weird knowing that someone as nasty as this guy lived only two doors away from me. And I was wondering, what's the best way to protect my little sister from nasty sex offenders like this? Other than always holding her hand and concealing two large hunting knives on my belt, I can't think of much else. Has anyone here ever had to deal with sex offenders being around and/or attempting to violate their children?

Leave a photo of a millstone and a sea on your front door.
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« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2014, 11:50:08 PM »

Not to scare everyone, I am a survivor when I was about 6 then 10 again 28.teach your children boys and girls.learn your self's What and how you teach them,and it will help them and you. don't just get angry learn what to do. And do it before something happens. I wished I had the knowledge then.Let them know that if it happens that it is not their fault.A book you might want to read is THE GIFT OF FEAR. look up help online. Also when you understand your fears you can live a better life.And most important trust GOD! It was GOD who saved me and help me out of the darkness in the light of Christ and to Orthodoxy
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« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2014, 09:10:44 AM »

Well, woke up the other morning at around 6'o clock to the sound of shouting and pounding on a door, looked out my window to see that the police had my neighbor's apartment--he lives about two doors down from me--surrounded and were there to arrest him. He got arrested. The managers at the complex--my grandparents--were able to find out the charges. Okay here goes. This guy is homosexual and works at a nursing home for sick, elderly people. Apparently he was sexually violating and raping them. Sooo, it feels weird knowing that someone as nasty as this guy lived only two doors away from me. And I was wondering, what's the best way to protect my little sister from nasty sex offenders like this? Other than always holding her hand and concealing two large hunting knives on my belt, I can't think of much else. Has anyone here ever had to deal with sex offenders being around and/or attempting to violate their children?

Leave a photo of a millstone and a sea on your front door.

As if child molesters know what a millstone is.
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« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2014, 09:41:40 AM »

Well, woke up the other morning at around 6'o clock to the sound of shouting and pounding on a door, looked out my window to see that the police had my neighbor's apartment--he lives about two doors down from me--surrounded and were there to arrest him. He got arrested. The managers at the complex--my grandparents--were able to find out the charges. Okay here goes. This guy is homosexual and works at a nursing home for sick, elderly people. Apparently he was sexually violating and raping them. Sooo, it feels weird knowing that someone as nasty as this guy lived only two doors away from me. And I was wondering, what's the best way to protect my little sister from nasty sex offenders like this? Other than always holding her hand and concealing two large hunting knives on my belt, I can't think of much else. Has anyone here ever had to deal with sex offenders being around and/or attempting to violate their children?

Leave a photo of a millstone and a sea on your front door.

As if child molesters know what a millstone is.
I liked YiM's idea, but perhaps it is too subtle.  Go to his front door dragging a millstone behind you.  When he opens the door, tie it to his neck and then quote the Bible verse.  He might be able to figure it out from that point.
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« Reply #20 on: January 13, 2014, 09:42:59 AM »

Well, woke up the other morning at around 6'o clock to the sound of shouting and pounding on a door, looked out my window to see that the police had my neighbor's apartment--he lives about two doors down from me--surrounded and were there to arrest him. He got arrested. The managers at the complex--my grandparents--were able to find out the charges. Okay here goes. This guy is homosexual and works at a nursing home for sick, elderly people. Apparently he was sexually violating and raping them. Sooo, it feels weird knowing that someone as nasty as this guy lived only two doors away from me. And I was wondering, what's the best way to protect my little sister from nasty sex offenders like this? Other than always holding her hand and concealing two large hunting knives on my belt, I can't think of much else. Has anyone here ever had to deal with sex offenders being around and/or attempting to violate their children?

Leave a photo of a millstone and a sea on your front door.

As if child molesters know what a millstone is.
I liked YiM's idea, but perhaps it is too subtle.  Go to his front door dragging a millstone behind you.  When he opens the door, tie it to his neck and then quote the Bible verse.  He might be able to figure it out from that point.

Make sure you don't put out your back in the process. Insurance providers are not likely to be sympathetic.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2014, 09:43:27 AM by Arachne » Logged

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« Reply #21 on: January 13, 2014, 11:25:56 AM »

A .45 usually does the trick, but he has to come into your house first.
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« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2014, 11:27:11 AM »

A .45 usually does the trick, but he has to come into your house first.
Tell him you are giving him a millstone for free, but he has to come pick it up.
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« Reply #23 on: January 13, 2014, 11:43:12 AM »

A .45 usually does the trick, but he has to come into your house first.
Tell him you are giving him a millstone for free, but he has to come pick it up.

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