Author Topic: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)  (Read 2982 times)

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Offline TheTrisagion

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So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« on: August 23, 2013, 02:44:12 PM »
Yes folks, it is true.  There I was sleeping in bed with my favorite horse and while I was sleeping, it aborted a pony that had found its way into into its womb.  I am unsure how to respond to this situation and am wondering if it would perhaps be best for everyone if I sent the horse to the glue factory as punishment for it's misdeed.  I am still unclear how a horse can perform an abortion given it only has hooves and is attached to a wooden rocker, but I can assure you that it did happen.  Do you think I should break off my relationship with said horse?  It does seem to be kind of a needy horse and requires brushing almost every day!  Stupid horses; all horses I know so far are complete psychopaths.

Picture of horse

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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2013, 02:55:09 PM »
A whor...er, horse is a horse, of course, of course.  No need for the glue factory, my friend.  It seems you have not made the mistake, but were merely enticed by that whorish horse.  Was it the kind horse face and toothy horse grin?  Instead of a glue factory, I encourage the dumpster as a better alternative.  Or you could burn it in a bonfire!  Are you the father?  Either way, it doesn't make a difference, because your whor, uh, rse is at fault here.
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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2013, 02:57:03 PM »
I say neigh! Or is that nay?
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Offline William

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #3 on: August 23, 2013, 02:58:36 PM »
Why do you think this is funny? The guy is obviously under some extreme emotional duress after having his child killed.
Apart from moral conduct, all that man thinks himself able to do in order to become acceptable to God is mere superstition and religious folly. - Immanuel Kant

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2013, 03:01:15 PM »
Why do you think this is funny? The guy is obviously under some extreme emotional duress after having his child killed.
Thank you, William.  I appreciate your sensitivity during this time of my life, but I will remind you, it was a pony, not my child that was killed.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2013, 03:02:28 PM »
Sleeping with horses is no laughing matter.  Especially when said slutty horse made him do it!  AND the horse aborted a pony.  How would you feel?  In your bed, no less.

EDIT:  Also, we don't even know if this horse was an abortion hobbyist.  It was a hobby horse that happened to be an abortionist horse.  Ergo, this is probably not the first time. 
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 03:05:19 PM by hecma925 »
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2013, 03:08:51 PM »
The language in the Bible never says I cannot sleep w/ a horse.  The original word for animal was αγελάδα which means "cow".  Clearly cows and horses are two very different things, so I feel that I am on pretty solid theological ground here.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2013, 03:13:18 PM »
Also, horses do not have the cloven hoof, no chew the cud.  You're clear from all temptation and sin.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #8 on: August 23, 2013, 03:14:45 PM »
Why do you think this is funny? The guy is obviously under some extreme emotional duress after having his child killed.

Where does he refer to the child as his child?  If he does so at all, I missed it in all the assertions that the child was "her child" or God's child since "God conceived it".  

He's under some extreme something, but "emotional duress after having his child killed" isn't it.  
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #9 on: August 23, 2013, 03:16:09 PM »
Also, horses do not have the cloven hoof, no chew the cud.  You're clear from all temptation and sin.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of the horse.  I don't feel too bad for her though.  She put herself in this position. Filthy equine!  >:(
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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #10 on: August 23, 2013, 03:20:30 PM »
Then I am afraid you led her into temptation.  You probably also made the horse feel desperate to abort again after, I don't know...maybe eight horse abortions?  But do not feel shamed.  It's not in the Bible to not abort horses.
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Offline hopeful-christian

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #11 on: August 23, 2013, 03:24:13 PM »
Ponies are not baby horses. They're just a smaller animal that looks similar. Kind of like how emus aren't baby ostriches.

Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #12 on: August 23, 2013, 03:29:10 PM »
That explains it.  You are not the father!
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #13 on: August 23, 2013, 03:30:09 PM »
Ponies are not baby horses. They're just a smaller animal that looks similar. Kind of like how emus aren't baby ostriches.
Your right!  I should have said foal instead.
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #14 on: August 23, 2013, 03:31:20 PM »
That explains it.  You are not the father!
So that whore horse was cheating on me!?!?! 

Now I am hot under the (horse)collar!  >:(
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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2013, 03:34:52 PM »
That explains it.  You are not the father!
So that whore horse was cheating on me!?!?! 

Now I am hot under the (horse)collar!  >:(

Carefule with that bridle.  I'm sorry, but she was with an ungulate.  That's not terribly sepcific and I'm sorry.  I hate, absolutely hate, being the bearer of bad gnus.
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2013, 03:38:36 PM »
That explains it.  You are not the father!
So that whore horse was cheating on me!?!?! 

Now I am hot under the (horse)collar!  >:(

Carefule with that bridle.  I'm sorry, but she was with an ungulate.  That's not terribly sepcific and I'm sorry.  I hate, absolutely hate, being the bearer of bad gnus.

Well, you just ruined MY Friday...thanks for that!  >:(
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Offline biro

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2013, 03:41:36 PM »
Question: if a horse gives birth during a race, and the foal trots over the finish line, did two horses win?
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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2013, 03:43:53 PM »
Question: if a horse gives birth during a race, and the foal trots over the finish line, did two horses win?

Either way, I would lose.  I'm terrible with picking ponies.  I mean emus!  Noooo, I mean horses!  I always do that.  Stupidstupidstupid
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2013, 03:44:34 PM »
Question: if a horse gives birth during a race, and the foal trots over the finish line, did two horses win?
Well, I would say only the foal would win.  But a penetrating question, nontheless.
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Offline Maria

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #20 on: August 23, 2013, 03:47:00 PM »
I saw this title and I thought that the name "whore" has been banned as an obscene word.

Sheesh!
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #21 on: August 23, 2013, 03:47:47 PM »
I saw this title and I thought that the name "whore" has been banned as an obscene word.

Sheesh!
No. We are discussing much deeper problems here in this thread.
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Offline J Michael

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #22 on: August 23, 2013, 04:00:59 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

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Offline Maria

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #23 on: August 23, 2013, 04:02:31 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Oh. She just wants her back scratched.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #24 on: August 23, 2013, 04:03:18 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 04:04:27 PM by hecma925 »
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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #25 on: August 23, 2013, 04:06:19 PM »
Horseplay! :P
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Offline J Michael

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #26 on: August 23, 2013, 04:06:45 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.

Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









 ;D ;D
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 04:07:09 PM by J Michael »
"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)

Offline vamrat

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #27 on: August 23, 2013, 04:09:23 PM »
I saw this title and I thought that the name "whore" has been banned as an obscene word.

Sheesh!

If anyone did, they would have to be a Slavic language speaker.  W**** does not hit quite as hard as it does in Russian (and I am assuming the others).  I have been warned for use of this word before and now usually just use the word "skank".
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #28 on: August 23, 2013, 04:09:48 PM »
Any bets on how long it'll take PtA to move this thread to "Other"?

"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #29 on: August 23, 2013, 04:15:03 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.

Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









 ;D ;D

 :o :o :o :o :o :oWrong Forum??
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 04:15:46 PM by hecma925 »
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Another blog - http://literarydiktator.blogspot.com/

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #30 on: August 23, 2013, 04:23:15 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.

Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









 ;D ;D

 :o :o :o :o :o :oWrong Forum??

What........??  You'd have me put it in the forum with fish tacos  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)?
"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)

Offline mike

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #31 on: August 23, 2013, 04:23:35 PM »
I wanted to share a song here but I realised I would wave to put myself into moderation for indecency. Google "my horse is amazing" if you want but do not complain later.

Offline J Michael

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #32 on: August 23, 2013, 04:24:45 PM »
I wanted to share a song here but I realised I would wave to put myself into moderation for indecency. Google "my horse is amazing" if you want but do not complain later.

LOL!!!  Think I'll take a pass on that Michal.  But, thanks anyway!!  LOL!!
"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

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Offline hecma925

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #33 on: August 23, 2013, 04:28:12 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.

Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









 ;D ;D

 :o :o :o :o :o :oWrong Forum??

What........??  You'd have me put it in the forum with fish tacos  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)?

Never.  Perhaps a horse taco thread may be more appropriate.  Sans kimchi?   :P
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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #34 on: August 23, 2013, 04:28:53 PM »
I wanted to share a song here but I realised I would wave to put myself into moderation for indecency. Google "my horse is amazing" if you want but do not complain later.

Hahahahahahahaha!
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline J Michael

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #35 on: August 23, 2013, 04:34:34 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.

Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.









 ;D ;D

 :o :o :o :o :o :oWrong Forum??

What........??  You'd have me put it in the forum with fish tacos  ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)?

Never.  Perhaps a horse taco thread may be more appropriate.  Sans kimchi?   :P

You got, brother!
"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #36 on: August 23, 2013, 04:57:42 PM »
Why has someone filled up my thread with horse porn?  Do I just go into your threads and fill them with people porn?  >:(
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 04:57:53 PM by TheTrisagion »
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #37 on: August 23, 2013, 05:02:21 PM »
I wanted to share a song here but I realised I would wave to put myself into moderation for indecency. Google "my horse is amazing" if you want but do not complain later.
Ok, I AM going to complain.

WHAT......THE......HECK......WAS.......THAT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #38 on: August 23, 2013, 05:19:14 PM »
I'm gone for a day and people start sleeping with horses.
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #39 on: August 23, 2013, 05:40:13 PM »
I'm gone for a day and people start sleeping with horses.

Horses that abort! 
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Offline pmpn8rGPT

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #40 on: August 23, 2013, 05:42:35 PM »
I'm gone for a day and people start sleeping with horses.
It's as if you are OC.net's Terry Tate.

I don't like sports but I ROFL'd at this.  Hopefully the ignorant Europeans like it too.
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Offline Shiny

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #41 on: August 23, 2013, 07:04:05 PM »
This whole thread.......ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What is it with this pornography?

EDIT:  I'm sure, Maria.  I'm sure of it.

Ooopsies  :-[ 8).  Wrong forum.


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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #42 on: August 23, 2013, 08:22:12 PM »
I'm gone for a day and people start sleeping with horses.
It's as if you are OC.net's Terry Tate.

I don't like sports but I ROFL'd at this.  Hopefully the ignorant Europeans like it too.
Terry Tate is the best!  :laugh:
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Offline Kerdy

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #43 on: August 23, 2013, 09:02:19 PM »
Unbelievably and pathetically disturbing.  I have no other words to describe this.

Offline LBK

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Re: So I slept with an abortionist hor(se)
« Reply #44 on: August 23, 2013, 09:56:49 PM »
The language in the Bible never says I cannot sleep w/ a horse.  The original word for animal was αγελάδα which means "cow".  Clearly cows and horses are two very different things, so I feel that I am on pretty solid theological ground here.

Aghelada is indeed the Greek word for cow, but the Biblical word for animal is aloghon (that which speaks no words). It is this word which has become the Greek word for horse.
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