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Author Topic: Worst movie you have ever seen?  (Read 4190 times) Average Rating: 0
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« Reply #45 on: August 21, 2013, 05:08:07 AM »

The Believers (1987)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092632/?ref_=sr_1

Of course, I watched this R-rated movie as a teenager with an adult uncle who made my presence at the theater legal. Why he took me to waste my time at this movie I'll never know. I guess we were there to watch RoboCop, and this movie, The Believers, was just something more to watch while we were there.
Judging by the comments on that imdb link, I guess the 1hr long nudity was enough.
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« Reply #46 on: August 21, 2013, 05:08:07 AM »

Ooh and "The Last Airbender". I could not stand to even go through 15 minutes of that abortion of quality television.
Well M Night Shymalan should have told you better.
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« Reply #47 on: August 22, 2013, 03:44:38 AM »

Son of the mask.
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« Reply #48 on: August 25, 2013, 10:51:44 PM »

Grown Ups 2.  With Adam Sandler and some of the other actors in there, I thought there may be some humor in it, but it was a constant raunchy humor followed by another.  I finally left 1/2 way through the film.  I should have left earlier.
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« Reply #49 on: August 25, 2013, 11:19:33 PM »

Must respectfully disagree on both Andrei Rublev and Ostrov. Both were profound, deeply layered. I've seen both more than a few times and notice new depths every time, especially in Ostrov.  BTW the Director of Rublev was the mentor of the director of Ostrov.  

Rublev was a little uneven…and a little confusing to start…but it didn't stay that way, and the scene in the captured church and the sequence about the boy bell maker…just phenomenal…to me…a masterful commentary on the soul of the russian people in the face of oppression both foreign and domestic. It was like a redemption from Dante's Inferno. The boy Peter only just barely connected to the tradition of his fathers, charged with a task far beyond his skills, only knowing about finding the right kind of clay to build the mold, clueless about the proper ratio of silver to make the bell, humiliated by his own inadequacies, in mortal fear for himself and his workmen who will be executed if they fail, who exhausts himself trying to oversee the creation of a giant of a bell (a singing icon, a blagovest/ringing gospel)…a bell born out of seeming hell fires of melted silver…refined in a furnace of affliction, poured into the earthly mire (of the right kind of clay), and the boy's sole hope and refuge…prayer to the blessed Theotokos, prayer from the depths of weary despair.  And then they haul out the bell, inch by inch from the earth….it is like the very resurrection of the russian people, an ascension and the great question hanging between the groaning hawsers is will it ring or will it crack asunder. In the silence the clapper swings closer and closer to the lips of the bell…and then….it SINGS…a great silver well of sonorous glory…and the boy collapses in relief weeping from both exhaustion and joy and release from what was but moments before a sentence of certain death….and witness to these things was the disillusioned iconographer Andre Rublev, who from that witness found his faith again, and went on to do with line and color what the boy had done with the bell. He prevailed out of kind of hell, he brought forth light out of darkness, his icons illumined and taught the russian soul in the hour of their downtroddenness.  ….so for me…not an easy movie to be sure, but for sure a great one…indeed it is ranked…or was among the top 15 greatest works of cinema of all time. And since then I would easily add to that number the magnificent Ostrov.
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« Reply #50 on: August 26, 2013, 09:04:29 AM »

I will add Avatar into the mix. The movie was just awful.
We need to talk about Avatar.

Besides the Dances With Wolves/Pochantas story knock-off (and you are kidding yourself if you think Cameron is a good writer), there is a lot of problems at the heart of the story. Much of it is actually racist to some degree.

But you know, much like Titanic, I was caught up in the sweeping grandeur of it all and it was one of the few movies that truly transported me to a world where I could almost touch it.

It was bizarre, but it is a very smooth film and honestly besides its shortcomings, I kinda liked it. Bit of a guilty pleasure.

I hated Avatar. Perhaps watching it on a small screen protected me from its seductions, but in essence it is a really dumbed down Dune rip-off.
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« Reply #51 on: August 26, 2013, 09:12:36 AM »

I will add Avatar into the mix. The movie was just awful.
We need to talk about Avatar.

Besides the Dances With Wolves/Pochantas story knock-off (and you are kidding yourself if you think Cameron is a good writer), there is a lot of problems at the heart of the story. Much of it is actually racist to some degree.

But you know, much like Titanic, I was caught up in the sweeping grandeur of it all and it was one of the few movies that truly transported me to a world where I could almost touch it.

It was bizarre, but it is a very smooth film and honestly besides its shortcomings, I kinda liked it. Bit of a guilty pleasure.

I hated Avatar. Perhaps watching it on a small screen protected me from its seductions, but in essence it is a really dumbed down Dune rip-off.

I've only seen some of Avatar, and hated what I saw. I don't know what was worse - the faces of the blue people with their eyes too far apart like they had a congenital deformity, or the trite storyline and premise. I've almost erased all memory of Dune these past 28 years, but if Avatar is a Dune rip-off, then it explains my opinion of Avatar.
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« Reply #52 on: August 26, 2013, 09:21:40 AM »

Not a great film fan. Have a pile of unwatched DVDs here.

My nomination: District 9, followed by the equally ridiculous Independence Day and the whole Alien series.
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« Reply #53 on: August 26, 2013, 09:43:19 AM »

Not a great film fan. Have a pile of unwatched DVDs here.

My nomination: District 9, followed by the equally ridiculous Independence Day and the whole Alien series.

( Embarrassed I blush to admit that I enjoyed Independence Day, though I hated myself for it afterwards!
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« Reply #54 on: August 26, 2013, 09:43:36 AM »

I will add Avatar into the mix. The movie was just awful.
We need to talk about Avatar.

Besides the Dances With Wolves/Pochantas story knock-off (and you are kidding yourself if you think Cameron is a good writer), there is a lot of problems at the heart of the story. Much of it is actually racist to some degree.

But you know, much like Titanic, I was caught up in the sweeping grandeur of it all and it was one of the few movies that truly transported me to a world where I could almost touch it.

It was bizarre, but it is a very smooth film and honestly besides its shortcomings, I kinda liked it. Bit of a guilty pleasure.

I hated Avatar. Perhaps watching it on a small screen protected me from its seductions, but in essence it is a really dumbed down Dune rip-off.

the worst part were all those people that became depressed after wathcing that movie.  They were sad that the world is not like the planet in Avatar.
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« Reply #55 on: August 26, 2013, 10:13:09 AM »

I will add Avatar into the mix. The movie was just awful.
We need to talk about Avatar.

Besides the Dances With Wolves/Pochantas story knock-off (and you are kidding yourself if you think Cameron is a good writer), there is a lot of problems at the heart of the story. Much of it is actually racist to some degree.

But you know, much like Titanic, I was caught up in the sweeping grandeur of it all and it was one of the few movies that truly transported me to a world where I could almost touch it.

It was bizarre, but it is a very smooth film and honestly besides its shortcomings, I kinda liked it. Bit of a guilty pleasure.

I hated Avatar. Perhaps watching it on a small screen protected me from its seductions, but in essence it is a really dumbed down Dune rip-off.

the worst part were all those people that became depressed after wathcing that movie.  They were sad that the world is not like the planet in Avatar.

I must admit, I never found Avatar that bad. The plot was certainly predictable and overused, but it wasn't as if I hated it.

I remember reading about the depression stories, so when I went to watch it, I kind of expected to see a breathtaking and diverse landscape. What I got was basically jungle with giant trees and floating islands and while it was certainly a beautiful scenery, I didn't really see what made Pandora so much greater than Earth.

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« Reply #56 on: August 26, 2013, 05:57:36 PM »

I will add Avatar into the mix. The movie was just awful.
We need to talk about Avatar.

Besides the Dances With Wolves/Pochantas story knock-off (and you are kidding yourself if you think Cameron is a good writer), there is a lot of problems at the heart of the story. Much of it is actually racist to some degree.

But you know, much like Titanic, I was caught up in the sweeping grandeur of it all and it was one of the few movies that truly transported me to a world where I could almost touch it.

It was bizarre, but it is a very smooth film and honestly besides its shortcomings, I kinda liked it. Bit of a guilty pleasure.

I hated Avatar. Perhaps watching it on a small screen protected me from its seductions, but in essence it is a really dumbed down Dune rip-off.

the worst part were all those people that became depressed after wathcing that movie.  They were sad that the world is not like the planet in Avatar.

I must admit, I never found Avatar that bad. The plot was certainly predictable and overused, but it wasn't as if I hated it.

I remember reading about the depression stories, so when I went to watch it, I kind of expected to see a breathtaking and diverse landscape. What I got was basically jungle with giant trees and floating islands and while it was certainly a beautiful scenery, I didn't really see what made Pandora so much greater than Earth.

We watched it when it came out on Sky, and liked it enough to buy the DVD. None of us (read: yours truly, the mister, the monster-in-law and the young master) was depressed at the end. It was a welcome interval of beauty. But then we're on the glass-half-full side of life. Cheesy
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« Reply #57 on: August 26, 2013, 09:02:19 PM »

Why has no one yet mentioned TitanicHuh
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« Reply #58 on: August 27, 2013, 01:41:07 AM »

I will add Avatar into the mix. The movie was just awful.
We need to talk about Avatar.

Besides the Dances With Wolves/Pochantas story knock-off (and you are kidding yourself if you think Cameron is a good writer), there is a lot of problems at the heart of the story. Much of it is actually racist to some degree.

But you know, much like Titanic, I was caught up in the sweeping grandeur of it all and it was one of the few movies that truly transported me to a world where I could almost touch it.

It was bizarre, but it is a very smooth film and honestly besides its shortcomings, I kinda liked it. Bit of a guilty pleasure.

I hated Avatar. Perhaps watching it on a small screen protected me from its seductions, but in essence it is a really dumbed down Dune rip-off.
Cameron is a terrible writer/director.
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« Reply #59 on: August 27, 2013, 01:41:07 AM »

Why has no one yet mentioned TitanicHuh
Cause as I said best chick flick evar
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« Reply #60 on: August 27, 2013, 05:13:58 AM »

Why has no one yet mentioned TitanicHuh

Because it's way easier watching than any past or future documentary.
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« Reply #61 on: August 27, 2013, 06:31:24 AM »

Why has no one yet mentioned TitanicHuh

Because it's way easier watching than any past or future documentary.
Yeah those docs are boring.

Needs more handsome looking Billy Zane.
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« Reply #62 on: October 15, 2013, 09:32:42 AM »

Um, The Mangler.  No way any other movie on earth beats this one for bad.  Another Stephen King story that just didn't translate well at all to the screen. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113762/

Here's the summary description, and you can not argue with this:

"A laundry folding machine is possessed by a demon from Hell."

In one of the final scenes, one where Ted Levine is trying to exorcise the demon from the machine, I swear I caught him trying to suppress a grin.  Screenplay by King along with Tobe Hooper, directed by Hooper, and yet production quality rivaled by every student film ever shot, including ones where the student failed the project due to forgetting to remove the camera's lens cap.  Beyond bad.  This is a brand new kind of bad.  There's just no topping it, and all that considering I did spend money to see Johnny Depp's embarrassing reboot of Willy Wonka. 



And who is panning Avatar???  I loooooooooooooooooved that movie!  There were a few spots where cheesy (aka corny) dialog early on nearly caused me to eject the disk, but I finished it and was very glad I did.  I had borrowed it from the library, and after seeing it, bought the DVDs.  Seriously love that movie.   Angry
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« Reply #63 on: October 15, 2013, 09:34:47 AM »

Why has no one yet mentioned TitanicHuh

Because it's way easier watching than any past or future documentary.

I already knew the ending.  Watching Dicaprio die is always a treat.
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« Reply #64 on: October 15, 2013, 06:05:26 PM »

Napoleon Dynamite.  It took me over 5 hours to get through this monstrosity.

Napoleon Dynamite.  It took me over 5 hours to get through this monstrosity.

A girl I was dating at the time saw this in the video store and said that she'd heard good things about it. No more than 10 or 15 minutes into it, we turned it off and decided to watch PBS' annual pledge drive instead. Let that sink in.

Seriously, what an awful excuse for a movie.

Napoleon Dynamite.  It took me over 5 hours to get through this monstrosity.

A girl I was dating at the time saw this in the video store and said that she'd heard good things about it. No more than 10 or 15 minutes into it, we turned it off and decided to watch PBS' annual pledge drive instead. Let that sink in.

Seriously, what an awful excuse for a movie.

I didn't watch after just seeing the advertisements.  Appears that was a smart move.

I've watched some real garbage in my time and I have to think hard about what I've bailed on and guess what?

We all agree.

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« Reply #65 on: October 15, 2013, 06:07:44 PM »

Must respectfully disagree on both Andrei Rublev and Ostrov. Both were profound, deeply layered. I've seen both more than a few times and notice new depths every time, especially in Ostrov.  BTW the Director of Rublev was the mentor of the director of Ostrov.  

Rublev was a little uneven…and a little confusing to start…but it didn't stay that way, and the scene in the captured church and the sequence about the boy bell maker…just phenomenal…to me…a masterful commentary on the soul of the russian people in the face of oppression both foreign and domestic. It was like a redemption from Dante's Inferno. The boy Peter only just barely connected to the tradition of his fathers, charged with a task far beyond his skills, only knowing about finding the right kind of clay to build the mold, clueless about the proper ratio of silver to make the bell, humiliated by his own inadequacies, in mortal fear for himself and his workmen who will be executed if they fail, who exhausts himself trying to oversee the creation of a giant of a bell (a singing icon, a blagovest/ringing gospel)…a bell born out of seeming hell fires of melted silver…refined in a furnace of affliction, poured into the earthly mire (of the right kind of clay), and the boy's sole hope and refuge…prayer to the blessed Theotokos, prayer from the depths of weary despair.  And then they haul out the bell, inch by inch from the earth….it is like the very resurrection of the russian people, an ascension and the great question hanging between the groaning hawsers is will it ring or will it crack asunder. In the silence the clapper swings closer and closer to the lips of the bell…and then….it SINGS…a great silver well of sonorous glory…and the boy collapses in relief weeping from both exhaustion and joy and release from what was but moments before a sentence of certain death….and witness to these things was the disillusioned iconographer Andre Rublev, who from that witness found his faith again, and went on to do with line and color what the boy had done with the bell. He prevailed out of kind of hell, he brought forth light out of darkness, his icons illumined and taught the russian soul in the hour of their downtroddenness.  ….so for me…not an easy movie to be sure, but for sure a great one…indeed it is ranked…or was among the top 15 greatest works of cinema of all time. And since then I would easily add to that number the magnificent Ostrov.

Ostrov is one ridiculous pedantic cliche after the next. It is LOL bad.

Goofy. Said it when I first saw it thinking it would have to be halfway decent from all the recs and then realized how somewhat sane people can be blinded by really terrible superhero stories if they have the correct metaphysical window treatment.
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« Reply #66 on: October 15, 2013, 06:14:59 PM »

I've probably seen more movies here than anyone for many reasons, one being that I was often without a decent housing and a movie house was easy to sneak into and while away the day. So I learned how to put up with garbage in exchange for running water and some heat and air quality relief.

So I've rarely walked outta a place cause a movie was so bad. There were one or two times, I am trying to remember what they were.

Heck I won't even stop a movie on DVD or whatever. Most stuff is decent for critiquing those people who find the junk redeemable anyhow, but what movie probably caused the most agita for the rest of folks watching with me, cause I was often choking on laughter?

That obscenity LotR.

I saw all three in a row with intermissions on the hour or so. It gave me enough time to relieve myself of my beer and order more. But what a buncha hackery. I like bad movies. I like special effects. Whatever. These films were the worst. And anyone who attempts to defend them on any principle other than some idiosyncratic sentiment for the arguably as bad kiddie stories they were based on has no welcome at my table.
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« Reply #67 on: October 15, 2013, 06:17:32 PM »

Just remembered one of the movies I walked out on or stumbled out on.

Was seeing it on the largest screen I had ever seen excluding drive ins.

Master and Commander.

Even with the cheap beer and having the theater to mine and girlfriend's ownsome didn't offering anything better to than leave.
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« Reply #68 on: October 15, 2013, 06:20:54 PM »

OK, so as a form of punishment I had to translate more of The Iliad than anyone should unless they are getting paid. To this day I ask people their favorite English translation as a Rorschach test.

In spite of the some Greekists desire to ruin the text for me, I still like a lot of it but . . .

Troy?

Someone managed to spend a hundred million dollars to make The Iliad more boring to watch than translate.

Congratulations.
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« Reply #69 on: October 15, 2013, 06:23:48 PM »

I will add Avatar into the mix. The movie was just awful.

Another laugh fest. Unlike LotR I no longer had recourse to alcohol. The worst movie I know I have yet to see reminds me of it:

After Earth

I might murder the entire Smith family if I see it, so I am going to punish the world for allowing this film to be made by not seeing it.
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« Reply #70 on: October 15, 2013, 07:21:13 PM »

Not sure whether The Room or Birdemic: Shock and Terror! is worse.  The level of badness is so high they're actually pretty entertaining, especially with Rifftrax.
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« Reply #71 on: October 15, 2013, 07:35:34 PM »

Does this include or exclude any movies watched while watching Mystery Science Theater 3000?
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« Reply #72 on: October 15, 2013, 07:50:49 PM »

Does this include or exclude any movies watched while watching Mystery Science Theater 3000?

Too meta.
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« Reply #73 on: October 15, 2013, 08:10:44 PM »

Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD.
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« Reply #74 on: October 15, 2013, 08:11:52 PM »

I am posting without reading the thread first because I don't want my answer to be influenced by other answers, and partly because I want to see how many people agree with me when I read through. So:

Lady in the Water. Mind-numbingly stupid. I got roped into going with a couple of friends and fell asleep in the theater.

Skyline Aliens came to earth for brains, and more specifically, L.A.? Sure. That'd be my first stop if I were looking for brains. And they don't appear to be over the water, so let's head to the water? Maybe that's because people don't live on water... but what do I know? I don't live in L.A.

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull I also fell asleep in the theater during this one.


Now, off to read everyone else's!
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« Reply #75 on: October 15, 2013, 08:24:20 PM »

Okay, read through. I like Avatar, but I won't pretend that the reason isn't ultimately Sam Worthington. I know he's blue for most of the movie... but sometimes he's not, and I just think those times are worth seeing, okay?

As for Troy, I like that too. Although now that I think of it that might have a lot to do with Eric Bana.

I'm noticing a pattern here. I'll quit while I'm ahead.
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« Reply #76 on: October 15, 2013, 08:27:42 PM »

I dislike "300"..Big Gerard Butler fan but this was disappointing. I didnt like the style ...at all.
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« Reply #77 on: October 15, 2013, 08:30:17 PM »

I will probably get ripped for this, but I did not like Terry Gilliam's Brazil AT ALL.  I just did not get all the hype about it.  Undecided
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« Reply #78 on: October 15, 2013, 08:32:28 PM »

I will probably get ripped for this, but I did not like Terry Gilliam's Brazil AT ALL.  I just did not get all the hype about it.  Undecided
Neither did I man.

HI FIVE
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« Reply #79 on: October 15, 2013, 08:33:12 PM »

No.............wait..... "The English Patient"

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5qalNX5G94
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« Reply #80 on: October 15, 2013, 08:35:07 PM »

I will probably get ripped for this, but I did not like Terry Gilliam's Brazil AT ALL.  I just did not get all the hype about it.  Undecided
Neither did I man.

HI FIVE
Whew!  I was sure I was going to get endlessly mocked by everyone.  At least one person sympathizes me.
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« Reply #81 on: October 15, 2013, 08:38:35 PM »

I will probably get ripped for this, but I did not like Terry Gilliam's Brazil AT ALL.  I just did not get all the hype about it.  Undecided
Neither did I man.

HI FIVE
Whew!  I was sure I was going to get endlessly mocked by everyone.  At least one person sympathizes me.

Slow down. He is the second time in American History a person counted as a fraction.
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« Reply #82 on: October 15, 2013, 08:42:45 PM »

I will probably get ripped for this, but I did not like Terry Gilliam's Brazil AT ALL.  I just did not get all the hype about it.  Undecided
Neither did I man.

HI FIVE
Whew!  I was sure I was going to get endlessly mocked by everyone.  At least one person sympathizes me.

I'm with you. Terry Gilliam is really hit or miss. He has good ideas but often botches the execution. My favorite of his is Baron Munchausen.
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« Reply #83 on: October 15, 2013, 08:47:25 PM »

I will probably get ripped for this, but I did not like Terry Gilliam's Brazil AT ALL.  I just did not get all the hype about it.  Undecided
Neither did I man.

HI FIVE
Whew!  I was sure I was going to get endlessly mocked by everyone.  At least one person sympathizes me.

Slow down. He is the second time in American History a person counted as a fraction.
THAT BURN STRETCHED ALL THE WAY TO SEVERIAN'S DUMMY CALC BOOK AND SET IT ON FIRE.
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« Reply #84 on: October 15, 2013, 10:18:57 PM »

Years ago I saw Friday the 13th for free, since I had a friend who changed the movie reels in a theater during part of his college days.  I regretted even seeing it for free.  Too bloody for me.
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« Reply #85 on: October 24, 2013, 09:27:07 PM »

"The Notebook"............. 

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« Reply #86 on: October 24, 2013, 09:35:59 PM »

Transformers, Darjeeling Limited, and 300 are movies that come to mind as pretty terrible.
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« Reply #87 on: October 24, 2013, 09:42:24 PM »

"The Notebook"............. 


I don't know about it being the all-time worst movie ever, but I hate The Notebook for how it portrays dementia.
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« Reply #88 on: October 24, 2013, 09:47:10 PM »

"The Notebook"............. 


I don't know about it being the all-time worst movie ever, but I hate The Notebook for how it portrays dementia.

Wife and step daughter force me to watch it, again and again.. Like torture... Please send help.

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« Reply #89 on: October 24, 2013, 10:44:20 PM »

"The Notebook"............. 


I don't know about it being the all-time worst movie ever, but I hate The Notebook for how it portrays dementia.

Wife and step daughter force me to watch it, again and again.. Like torture... Please send help.


When Gena Rowlands has her big psychotic break at the end, it's because James Garner has been forcing her to relive The Notebook every single day of her life.
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