I am tired of living this life. I need some help. I needed some help....I asked for help, but nobody helped me. This is the story of a 15 years old kid who spent most of his life away from society, away from living for a very long time. Although things were normal before an accident I had that has changed the way I look, leaving me with a big scar on my face and my soul. Since the age of 15 I 've been trying to get the money to get my life back to normality. My parents NEVER helped me, and in fact as sadistic as this sounds they took joy seeing my cry in front of them emotionally, asking for help, even at times they had the money, but refused. Although they would spend it on other stuff. I quitted education over it, quitted normality, had been closed to myself that nearly drove me to insanity. It was too hard to handle for a 15 year old boy. Since then I 've done everything in my power to find the money for it, I 've been trying for years to get a job just with the sole purpose to fix my life. It never happened. I always ended up back to step 1, either because of lack of qualifications, inexperience and a crushed ego. I 've applied through the health system, and have been waited for 2 years just to get a reply. Only to find out that they would not do it. I decided to leave the country and look for a job elsewhere. Eventually I started looking for small jobs in restaurants, pizza shops but I always found myself out of the door. I was living with some relatives, although they were treating my bad and were asking for me to leave. At the same time I wanted to get things sorted with education. I was hopeless. Crying every single day about my life. I only had enough money for food. Moving forward I ended up in a church. I asked for their help. There were times I was starving and had no money. Their behaviour was AWFUL to me. They treated me like I was some kind of tramp. They shouted at me, they laughed at me, and made me feel to want to kill myself. They changed my perception of religion. Those innocent looking priests were agents of the devil. That was my explanation of things. I asked them to help me get a job at least to be able to help myself, but they gave me a good kick. Despite their behaviour I was helping in the church for free, and there were a few women workers that were in support of me. Most of the faithful in that church were giving me those looks, and laughing at my misery. The priests were ignoring my plead for help. I had tried everything, yet there was nowayout. My fears that I would waste my life like that and never get it done were manifesting. In a desperate attempt to get things sorted, I joined a college, although I had missed two years by the time I got back. The course took many years, and had to wait all that long in hope I would get a job. When I finished the course I started applying for jobs again. I was applying from 9 to 5 every single day , I had attended numerous interviews with no success. Some more time passed by. I was in deep depression. Life was passing me by, and I couldn't do it. Some more years passed, and I ended up being a complete loser with the emotions of 15 year old kid with no job, no looks ,no memories and no aspirations. Ten years have passed since then, and 'lived' for one single reason, to get my life back. Im 26 and emotionally destroyed. In the last decade I 've done everything in my power only to get to know people better, to see how ugly and evil people are. To see that there is no love in this world. I still haven't achieved that, and I am asking everyone on this forum to give me advice or any sort of help. I am sick and tired of this. I 've been praying for so long.